NEW CHAPTER! where you'll find out that the sea on which the "Huddy's ship" is sailing is not a mill pond ... but hold on tight to the mast sailors! keep your faith and Huddy will live through the storm!...

** CHAPTER 20 **

House was not really in a peaceful, diplomatic state of mind when he barged into Cuddy's office. She welcomed him with a soft smile that soon faded away when she saw he was followed by his team. She sent him an inquiring look, silently asking why he wasn't alone. He answered with a smirk and she felt a little befuddled, but mostly hurt to see he hadn't found a way to make time for them, at least just a few minutes, even though she was well aware the purpose of him being in her office was to discuss the medical status of a patient and not some kind of a secret date at work. But she thought they could have spent a moment alone, just the two of them.

House's fellows stood in a line just behind him and it was pretty obvious that they weren't really at ease with the situation, either. House took a step forward to come closer to Cuddy's desk and stopped just across from it, looking at her – staring at her, actually, would have been more accurate. His gaze was intense and, as he detailed every inch of her, from her beautiful face to her enticing cleavage and the toned legs he knew were crossed underneath her desk, it felt as if a knife was repeatedly stabbing him with every image of her body, in different circumstances, that formed in the back of his mind… He held his breath and tried to focus. "Attack is the best form of defense." That proverb had always proven useful for House, especially when he was in pain, and mostly when said pain was emotional. And now was the perfect illustration for it.

"Dr. Cuddy!" he exclaimed sullenly, making her slightly jump on her chair at the sound of his tone, "You wanted to see me?"

"Yes," she answered in a calm and soft voice, looking him straight in the eyes. "I wanted to see you. So why did you have to bring them?" She pointed at the team with her chin without taking her eyes off of him.

"I'm here for my patient. My patient is their patient. They do whatever I tell them to do to treat her. They're involved. So they want to know what stupid decision you came up with that will prevent them from saving a life today."

Cuddy tilted her head to the side and narrowed her eyes, intrigued. She sensed his anger and his need to confront her but, up to that point, she couldn't tell why, yet.

"Last time I checked your patient was still alive," she said, putting her elbows on her desk and cupping her chin with her hands.

"Maybe while we're having this completely unnecessary discussion, she's not anymore…"

The verbal ping pong could have lasted forever if she'd let it go on like that without focusing on the medical decision they had to agree on together.

"You can't do a hysterectomy on your patient, considering her current status," she cut him short, getting directly to the point.

"Ha!" He smirked. "What do you know about her medical status?"

His voice was becoming louder and his tone more nervous. She tried to stay calm and not get emotional. She needed to put the woman in her aside to let the doctor speak. Otherwise, she knew she would have no chance to succeed in convincing him to be reasonable for once.

"I know that performing a hysterectomy on a patient that's just recovering from massive internal bleeding is dangerous and possibly life threatening. I can't let you do that. Treat her with antibiotics instead."

"We already gave her antibiotics. It didn't work," House objected, getting closer to the desk.

"That's because you didn't wait long enough to let them," Cuddy said straightening herself on her chair and staring intensely at him.

"If we don't remove that girl's uterus, she'll be dead before the first dose has the time to take effect."

"You can't be sure she will be."

"You can't be sure she won't be!"

Cuddy clenched her jaw and set her lips, allowing herself to take a short pause to think. House was leaning with both hands on his cane's handle and by the way he was standing, with his injured leg barely touching the floor, she could tell he was in pain. His head was tilted to the side and he was scrutinizing her, but she couldn't quite decipher his thoughts. His gaze was impenetrable. There was nothing but anger behind his eyes and she became even more confused. Why would he act like that? She glanced behind him and saw the team, waiting docilely in line, eyes cast downward and hands crossed behind their backs. There was absolutely no point in them being here. She and House could have had this conversation without them in the room. Why did he have to bring them? What was the point? She took a deep breath and inwardly wished for this awkward situation to end as quickly as possible.

"Start her on Metronidazole," she began. "It's a stronger ATB and-"

"I know what Metronidazole is!" he snapped. "It could be toxic. There're risky side effects."

"You're telling me an antibiotic which could cure her infection is risky because it has side effects, but removing her uterus is fine?

She was beginning to get upset herself because of this silly discussion. It was not even a rational argument anyway, because the only thing that seemed to interest House was to contradict her, whatever she would say.

"House, she's twenty-one years old," she tried to explain calmly to him, almost unconsciously begging him to stop this escalating power play he was forcing her into. "If we proceed with the hysterectomy, she will never be able to have children again. Don't you think we should at least wait twenty-four hours before considering this radical solution?"

House leaned forward to look at her right in the eyes with a piercing blue gaze that sent chills down her spine.

"Who cares if she can't have babies anymore?" he shouted hysterically. "She doesn't give a damn about babies! And it may be too late anyway. She had too many abortions already and she probably will never be able to get pregnant again."

"Well, you don't know that!" Cuddy stubbornly insisted, not resigning herself to give up on this particular field. "And she's young. Babies might not be her priority right now, but later…"

"You're not serious, are you?" House sniggered, shaking his head. "God! I'm telling you she is gonna die if we don't do the surgery. Wishing everything is going to be fine just because there's a remote possibility she could suddenly want a baby some day in twenty years from now isn't enough good a reason to risk killing her now!"

"I'm not wishing," she contradicted him. "I'm just considering every option in the best interest of the patient..."

"No! You're just blinded by your own desire to have a child. You think with your heart, when you should be thinking with your brain. But for that, it'd mean you still have one that is medically useful!"

Cuddy set her lips in bitterness.

"This has nothing to do with me or the fact that I wanted to adopt a child!" she protested, emotionally shaken up by his snarky attack.

"See?" House exclaimed cynically. "You're admitting you don't need a uterus to have a child. Why don't you just go see our patient and break the good news to her? But of course, don't tell her about your story. You better make it sound hopeful, if you want her to sign the form..."

Cuddy gaped at him in astonishment. He was mean. And yet, he would never say something out of sheer spite just to hurt her. He'd have to have a reason. She bit her bottom lip and stared at him with sadness. But the look he sent her back was saying nothing other than what his words already told her. He resented her. But why? In that very moment, Cuddy felt the need to be alone with him to have a chance to understand what was really lying under this uncalled-for snappishness. But his lackeys were all there, standing in a row, obviously ill-at-ease, and doing nothing except being undesired witnesses of something that seemed more and more inevitable, even though Cuddy was now desperately wishing to avoid it.

She needed to be physically close to House. Touch him. Really look in the depth of his eyes. She knew that if she did, she would be able to tell if he was sincere or if that little act of his was just a masquerade. If they were alone in that room, she'd stand up and come near him and she would wait just an inch far from his face to be sure that his spitefulness was serious, or founded, and that he indeed didn't want her close to him. Yes, first she needed to know that. Understanding would come afterward. She was so puzzled in that moment while, in fact, the truth was she wanted him to be soft and gentle like he'd proven to her he could be. She was missing his tender side

His reaction was totally unexpected. Surely, she had more or less guessed that the first opposition between them regarding a medical issue would be weird and that he wouldn't just let go easily. He was House after all, and she'd expected nothing less from him than a fierce resistance to her decision but she thought he would be reasonable and that it would end with them agreeing to find a satisfying common ground: he'd give the patient a stronger antibiotic for the next twenty-four hours and if things weren't getting better, then he could do the surgery.

But instead of that, he was stubbornly standing up to her, not even with real, valid medical reasons to convince her, only a solid will to mess things up and say nasty things to her for no reason… or maybe just to hurt her? But why would he want to hurt her? She glanced at House's team, who was still trying hard to pretend not to be here and stood embarrassed, looking down. She caught Foreman's gaze and although she was well aware that what she was about to do would probably sound utterly awkward, unusual and suspicious, she still needed to do it if she ever wanted to have a chance to get answers.

"Will you excuse us, please," she said in a much determined voice. "Dr. House and I need to finish this conversation alone."

In one collegial movement that could have almost felt like the energy of relief, the ducklings started to turn around to leave the room. House stared at Cuddy and she caught a fleeting glimpse of surprise in his eyes but, he soon regained composure and promptly held his hand up in the air, gesturing to his team to stand still.

"No one is going anywhere!" he sturdily opposed.

Everyone puffed upset, but docilely returned to where they were standing the second before.

"Why are they here anyway?" Cuddy sighed resignedly, growing tired.

"They're here because I knew you wouldn't listen to me," House provoked. "They're here to tell you exactly the same thing I just told you. I want you to face them and repeat to them what you've said to me. That way we'll see you'll still stubbornly stand up for your stupid medical decisions or if there's a slight chance the only reason why you made it is because of me."

Cuddy widened her eyes in bafflement and she tipped her head down, rubbing her forehead with the palm of her hand as if she wanted to remove the feeling of incredulousness out of her mind, or wake her up from a nightmare. When she raised her head again, she opened her mouth to say something but House, who was waiting for the most perfectly annoying timing, interrupted her before she could say a word.

"Kutner!" he exclaimed limping towards his team. "Explain to Dr. Cuddy why you think our patient should have a dangerous surgery that could save her life instead of a safe treatment that could kill her."

Kutner rolled his eyes and raised his eyebrows in surprise to indicate he clearly didn't know what to say.

"C'mon Kutner, don't be shy," House encouraged him with a nod. "She seems impressive from this side of the room, but believe me…"

"HOUSE!" Cuddy suddenly shouted, feeling worn out and stoutly resolute to put an end to this.

House turned around to face her. When he saw the fierce look in her gaze, he clenched his jaw and narrowed his eyes, staring at her even more intensely than he had done during the whole conversation. It was as if he knew he'd just overstepped the line and that what she was about to say would be her definite and unwavering decision.

"You're not doing the hysterectomy. You're going to monitor the patient closely for the post bleeding and start her on Metronidazole for at least the next twenty-four hours."

"So you're saying we should let her die?"

"No. I'm saying we should try to save her by any other means."

"This is completely stupid. You're making the wrong decision."

Cuddy stared intensely at him and imperceptibly bit her upper lip, looking sadder than she was angry, feeling more puzzled than she was upset. She took a deep breath to muster the courage to say what she needed to say in order to end this escalating and painful discussion.

"I'm your boss. I have veto power over your medical decisions."

House closed his eyes for a second as if she had slapped him in the face. That was the exact phrase he'd said to her the night he'd come to her house, when she'd asked him to tell her why he needed her. Hearing her using his confession against him in that particular context crushed him even more than the whole conversation already had. He opened his eyes and smirked bitterly.

Maybe it was just her way of getting even with him. He knew she would. He was mean to her and a part of him understood she had to do this. But somehow, he'd thought things would be different, while he should have known that they actually never changed. They were just destined to be irretrievably the same. He looked at her and smiled ironically to hide the deep hurt he was feeling.

"Are we done?" he asked, highlighting the double-meaning of the question with the intensity of his gaze.

Cuddy immediately caught that look in his eyes and her breath speeded up. She saw the team standing in front of her office's door, but it suddenly felt like she was alone in the room with him. He was there, standing in front of her and their eyes locked. They kept on staring at each other silently, but at some point, it began too painful for her to sustain his gaze. There were so many unspoken questions hidden underneath that look that she wanted answered. But she was trapped. She couldn't demand what she wanted to know because they were both in her office and they were supposed to discuss a medical case, over which they just had a fight. And she had just made her decision clear. So she had to stick with the context, and not fall into the trap.

"Yes, we're done," she answered, feeling a pang of hurt tug at her heart strings.

For a fleeting second, she caught the sadness in House's eyes, too, but then he swiftly turned his back to her and addressed his team.

"Good! You heard the Dean, right? She said: no hysterectomy today!" He promptly swirled around to face her again and then spoke to his team, but looking her straight in her eyes. "But, who knows? Maybe tomorrow, thanks to her, we'll get to do an autopsy, instead!"

Cuddy stomached that last barb with a stoic smile. House's fellows started to leave the room one by one, not daring to glance in her direction. When the last one had walked out of her office, House who was about to do the same but he stopped at the doorstep, his hand clutching the knob. He turned around and sent her one last, longing stare filled with anger and hurt.

"Dr. Cuddy," he said solemnly.

She stared back at him, her eyes filled with sadness and bafflement.

"Dr. House," she barely managed to articulate.

And then, she watched him leave her office with an accentuated limp.

A/N

I hope you're still enjoying the ride...

have a nice day ~ maya