Disclaimer: I do not own Castle

Chapter 20

Castle sat up and spoke. And Kate sat too.

"Hey pumpkin"

"yea. Yea... I'm sorry. I should've told you."
Kate placed her hand on his back.

"Yea. I'm... I'm at Kate's"

There was a long pause then and Kate wondered what she must be saying to him. But maybe she wasn't saying anything at all.

"Yea. We'll talk when I'm home tomorrow okay?"

"good night pumpkin. I love you" he said with the sweetest smile on his face.

He ended the call and kept the phone aside.

He turned back around and found Kate nibbling on her little finger.

"What did she say?"

Castle scooted back to Sit beside her, with his back against the backrest. He put his arm around her and kissed her temple and said

"she was just worried cause she came home and found me missing, that's all"

"Castle, What did she say when you mentioned me?"

"Kate.."

"you don't need to hide it from me.. Just tell me... We both know she doesn't see me in the same light that she used to. And I deserve it after everything I've put her father through"

"Kate, Stop it. You don't deserve that. You may have gone down a few wrong roads, but they were for all the right reasons." he explained

"she doesn't see it that way Rick. What did she say?"

"she didn't say anything."

"nothing?"

"hmmm... She just asked if I'll be back home in the morning. I said yea. And I told her we'd talk"

"oh... Okay" Kate said. And looked down at her hands resting on the covers.

"Come on. Why don't we lie down again"

She shook her head and laid back down, facing the other way, and Castle crowded against her back, spooning her. His arm around her, warm, protective and possessive. She played with the tiny hairs on his hand. He breathed the smell of her hair in... And smiled.

He couldn't believe that he was willing to give this up. This woman, so beautiful, so strong, so fit for a throne, and he was going to give her up. It all sounded ridiculous now.

He placed soft kisses against the back of her neck. She was startled at first. But then she didn't mind. Castle began tracing tiny drawings on her waist. But she stopped him, took his hand in hers and said "Castle, not now okay. I'm sorry... I'm just... not in the mood"

Rick began to worry now; he raised his head up on his hand and tugged at her shoulder
"Babe, is everything alright?"

Kate sighed and then turned to face him.
"What if Alexis asks you to stay away from me?"

"Kate, where is this coming from?"

"Castle don't act so ignorant. We both know that there are chances she'll tell you not to see me again, because whether you like it or not, I'm the reason for all your hurt."

"Kate, don't say that"

"but that's not even the point. Just answer my question"

"Kate, why would she give me an ultimatum like that?"

"What will you do?!" Kate insisted.

"Kate, I don't know how Alexis is going to react... But I'm not letting you go. If that means we have to talk to her and make her understand why we work, then we'll do that. Alexis loves me. And I love her. I'm sure she'll understand."

Kate shook her head.

"She's been so worried for me Kate... You should've have seen the way she'd run about for me when I just got back from the hospital"

And the guilt came as soon as the words left his mouth
"I'm sorry."

"it's alright"

"No Kate, you must have gone through hell after that blast, especially after I pushed you away."

"Rick, I just wish I was given the chance to take care of you. You were broken. Physically and emotionally, and I wanted to be there... When you woke up in the middle of the nights, when you had to go for therapy sessions, when you just needed someone's company. I mean I know you had Alexis... But i..."

"I know... I'm sorry."

Kate shook her head and said.
"Don't apologize"

"you're here now. And I'm not going to let you go. You're stuck with me"

She smiled that bright smile of hers, and bit her tongue between her teeth, the way she always does and said "That could work" she leaned in to kiss him.

But just when they're lips were about to meet Castle spoke

"But wait... Kate... Let's take this back a second. I want to know, how, out of all the therapists in NY City, I ended up going to yours, and secondly, how is it that you've never mentioned to me who your therapist was"

Kate laughed. "Well, to answer your second question first, the topic never arose about who I was going to for therapy. So I never told you. And well, about your first question, I'm surprised you haven't figured it out yourself"

She chuckled but he still seemed clueless.

"When you were in the operation room, Alexis lost her cool. And she said a few things to me that she regretted later"

"yea... She told me about that"

"well, she took me by surprise one day when she knocked on my door. She had cone to apologize for everything she had said. But she wouldn't tell me how you were doing"

"I'm sorry... She..."

"no I get it. But before she left, I gave her Burke's card and told her that you might begin to show signs of PTSD and to not ignore it when it surfaces"

Kate looked up at Castle. And he was just staring at her with eyes of love and awe.

"What?" she asked.

"even after I asked you to stay out of my life, you still found your way to care for me"

"I didn't do much Castle"

"Oh but you did. Kate, the therapy helped me a lot. My nightmares have reduced, I go out more, and I don't get startled by loud noises. It's all cause of therapy that you recommended."

"Yea but..."

"And most importantly, Therapy with burke is what brought me back to you"

Kate smiled at that. It was true.
Castle cradled her face in his hands and kissed her like there was no tomorrow.

AN: So that's the update :) What do you think? :) Don't forget to hit the review button and leave me your opinion :)
There's more to come, soon :)