My Bad Wolf:
You like books right? I'm sure you do, everybody loves books! I took Donna to the universe's biggest library, because of the books!
...Alright, that's a lie, it was really because I received a message on the psychic paper, from someone I never knew existed. I'll go into that later.
The Library was much different than I thought it would be. For starters, there were no people! No human life anywhere in sight. I checked the computer's database and it told me the same. But it also told me there were over a million million life forms! Just not humans. So where, or what were they? I thought we should leave but couldn't pass up the mystery or the danger. Just like you would.
I remember on Satellite Five telling you that we could go home, away from the danger of the Daleks. I was so surprised -but yet I wasn't- that you had never thought of running away. My Rose, destroyer of the Daleks, savior of my life. You never were afraid were you?
A strange creature called a Node gave us an enigmatic warning: Count the Shadows. The most disturbing thing about the Node was that it was an information drone, but with a donated human face. Donna freaked out, naturally. She thought it was barbaric. I'm starting to think the same as well.
But how could we count the shadows if there were hardly any objects to cast them, outside of the bookshelves? Before Donna and I could think about it much further, the lights started going out, one by one. We fled to another room and locked the door behind us. There we found another droid, one that was sensitive to my screwdriver. This also had another warning: The others are coming. That was an easy one to figure out because an archeology team arrived soon after that. The team was lead by a River Song, Professor in Archeology.
I can't help but laugh at archeologists. Why waste your time studying old artifacts when you can go see them in their prime? Humans though, have to dig up everything and analyze it until...I don't know when!
This River Song character, managed to throw me for a loop. Apparently she's from my future. Knows how the TARDIS works, has a copy of my screwdriver, and knows 'spoilers' about my future. I did not like it one bit. I've never told anybody, but one of the main reasons why I always had companions was to show them the universe, to have them look up to me for answers and for me to be the one to show them what they could never imagine. To share my knowledge and help them to be better people. How could I do that with River? Not that I ever thought about inviting her along with me and Donna, but she could already travel through time, and knew things about me that I didn't even know! It was unsettling, to say the least.
The most unsettling thing was that she knew my name. Not The Doctor, but my real name. I haven't spoken my real name since...
I seriously considered telling you my real name, but I suspect you already knew after that whole mess with Cassandra. I know how the mind works, you were aware of all that was happening when she took over your body first, then mine, then yours' again. You probably also knew why I never told anybody.
But to hear River tell me my own name, it was too...intimate. There are only a few times in a Time Lord's life where he tells someone his real name. But I can't think about that. A future without you seems just as bleak as a future with River.
I feel ashamed to say that, as River 'died' in that library. To wrap it all up, there were carnivorous creatures in the shadows called 'Vashta Nerada', and they could assimilate the flesh in a mere matter of seconds. They cannot be seen, and they were unstoppable, at least until River put a stop to it. I tried to take her place, but she knocked me out and killed herself by hooking herself up to the computer's terminal. I was able to save her just in time, because the humans that were 'saved' were saved to the computer's core, including Donna. I put her mind into the Library's core where she's now living out a perfect life with the rest of her archeology team.
The computer itself was a young girl named Charlotte Abigail Lux, who was diagnosed with an incurable disease at a young age. Her grandfather had a giant computer constructed at the core of the Library to allow Charlotte's mind to live on among the books, the accomplishments of the human race. She would never be bored.
I feel so guilty about Donna however. After she was 'saved' to the computer, the computer gave her a life of her own, albeit a nearly fictitious one. But she fell in love with another human named Lee, and had a fake family and life together with him. Afterwards I told her he was probably part of the program, but I couldn't bear to tell her that he most likely was real, because he could have been anywhere by the time I returned her out of the computer. It would be next to impossible to find him.
Plus, then what would I do? It sounds entirely selfish but if Donna left then I would be alone again, something I haven't been since after the Time War. I would be alone, waiting for the days when River Song would pop up into my life again. Can't say I'm too pleased, nor displeased about that. The future is the future, but when is it the future when it's her past? I hope I'm not confusing you.
There is more to tell, but I notice Donna is quite shaken up about what happened, so I'm planning to take her on a relaxing break to a planet made entirely of diamonds! Complete with a beauty spa for complete relaxation! That should help her feel better right?
-Light of My Past-
Your Doctor
I never did get the book I wanted...