"You stupid little whore!"

Barney struggled uselessly to free himself as he was dragged back into the cabin and thrown to his knees on the kitchen floor. With his hands bound behind his back, he couldn't catch himself. His head hit the corner of the stove in a glancing blow that left him with the feeling of something hot and wet trickling down the side of his face. He flinched as Ryan's foot flew toward his face, connecting in a vicious blow that left him dizzy and disoriented.

Ryan crouched close beside him, grabbing his throat and slamming him back against the door of the stove. "Did you think you could get away from us, Barney? Really? Did you think we wouldn't catch you?"

Terror seized him, and an oppressive feeling of claustrophobia as his captors moved in close to him, hemming him in, their hands everywhere, possessive, restraining. He flinched back against the stove, shaking his head in panicked pleading, his words stuttering from his trembling lips with speed born of terrified desperation.

"No, please, please, I'm sorry, d-don't… don't, please…"

"Don't what, Barney?" Allison sneered in his ear as she reached behind him to unlock the cuffs and dragged one arm out from behind his back. "What do you think we're gonna do to you?"

Barney didn't even want to imagine. He just shook his head, his eyes closed, whispering under his breath. "Please, don't… please, don't… I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…"

Ryan laughed, low and dark and cruel in his throat, as his strong hands gripped Barney's arms and raised him up onto his knees, turning him so that he was facing the stove. He tried to pull away in alarm as Allison lifted his arm up and laid it out over the stove; but Ryan's fist drove into the middle of his back, causing him to let out a sharp cry of pain as his back arched away from the blow. Ryan wrapped one large hard around Barney's throat and pulled him back against his chest, snarling low and menacing in his ear.

"You gonna fight her again, Barney, or you gonna be a good boy and cooperate?"

Barney went perfectly still in the larger man's grasp, trembling violently, his breath rapid and shallow as he nodded frantically and whispered, "Y-yes… yes, I'm sorry, I'll… I'll be good, please…" As he felt Allison's hand press down on his arm, forcing it into contact with the front burner of the stove – saw her free hand move to slide a finger along the knob to turn it on, toying with it, viciously teasing, threatening – Barney's words slid from a whisper to a barely comprehensible sob, his shoulders shaking with panic, though he dared not move. "No, n-no, please, please don't, don't do this, please…"

"Why not, Barney?" Ryan murmured in his ear, running a hand through Barney's hair and then using that hand to hold his head back against Ryan's chest. "You deserve it… don't you?"

Barney automatically shook his head, desperate to avoid the torment he knew they intended. The painful tightening of Ryan's hand around his throat warned him that he had given the wrong answer, and his heart lurched as he struggled to correct his mistake.

"Y-yes… yes, I d-deserve it, but please… please don't…"

"You deserve it because you're nothing, Barney. Nothing but a pathetic, worthless whore. Say it." Allison's voice was a taunting hiss in his ear as she leaned down to whisper her cruel command.

"I-I'm nothing," Barney whispered without hesitation, well aware that while submission might not spare him this suffering, it was the only thing that would give him a chance. "I'm a… w-worthless whore."

"Nothing but our little toy to play with, right, Barney?" Ryan sneered, laughing with Allison at his humiliation. His tone hardened as he demanded, "Say it."

Barney complied, but as he did so, his shoulders shook with sobs and his face burned with shame. "N-nothing but… your toy," he whispered, tears streaking his face as he closed his eyes to shut them out.

"What's the matter, Barney?" Allison taunted him. "This is what you do all the time, right? All we're doing is taking what you usually give away for free."

There was a twisted, incomplete truth behind her lies, but Barney's damaged mind and spirit latched onto it, turning the words over and over in his thoughts, reminding him that she was right, he was pathetic, cheap, worthless, everything they said he was. He deserved this, had brought it on himself, had earned it with his calloused disregard for the feelings of the women he used night after night – and the women he allowed to use him.

These agonizing thoughts careened through his mind, adding to the torment of his shame – until Allison grinned savagely and twisted the dial at the front of the stove…

… and all that filled Barney's mind was searing, relentless agony.

***********************************

The sound of his own panicked screams awakened him.

And everyone else in the house.

Barney huddled under his blankets, breathless, his heart racing as he tried to remember that he was safe here, at Marshall and Lily's house, far away from the very real monsters that filled his nightmares. He heard the sounds of two sets of footsteps rushing through the apartment, and his heart sank when he realized that Marshall and Lily had heard the uproar he'd accidentally created.

He heard them talking quietly just outside the door, followed by a tentative knock.

"Barney?" Lily's voice was guarded, cautious. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he replied, though his voice was cracked and hoarse, and not one bit convincing. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just… go back to sleep."

More quiet talking, quick and hushed and emphatic. It sounded as if they were arguing about something.

About you. You're poison, Barney Stinson. You'll only drag them down by being here. You should be home, by yourself, not taking advantage of their…

"Barney, I'm coming in for a minute, okay?" Lily spoke again. "Marshall's going back to bed." There was an edge of command to her voice, and the silence, then heavy footsteps that followed her words told Barney that Lily had won the argument.

The door opened, allowing the dim light from the kitchen to filter through into the room. Lily's frame was cast in shadow as she entered the room, closing the door behind her. She moved to the side of the bed and turned on the bedside lamp before cautiously sitting down on the edge of his bed. A frown of concern creased her brow as she reached down to brush his hair back from his face with soft fingertips.

"What happened?" she asked gently, tenderness and compassion in her voice. "Did you have a bad dream?"

Barney felt about ten years old.

He also felt like bawling his eyes out – which made him feel about five years old.

"It was nothing," Barney insisted, looking away, blinking away the tears that he was helpless even to wipe from his eyes. "Go back to bed, Lily, I'll be fine…"

"No, Barney, see… this is why we had you stay here, okay?" There was a note of frustration in Lily's words, but it was overcome by a firm determination. She lowered her hand from his hair to turn his face back toward her. "So you couldn't do… this." She waved a hand helplessly in his general direction, as if unable to find the words to express what "this" was – until she found them. "We knew you'd just want to hide away and try to deal with this on your own like you deal with everything else… but that's not gonna work this time, Barney. I know you don't like it, but you need help right now – and you need to let us help you..."

"You can't help me."

Barney's words were barely audible, but they stopped Lily's well-intentioned scolding in its tracks. She stared at him, wide-eyed, her mouth open as if to protest – before she finally closed it again, her shoulders sagging with defeat.

"Okay," she admitted after a moment, her voice quiet and resigned. "Maybe I can't. Maybe… there's no way in the world that I could ever understand what you're going through right now. Maybe there's… no way I'd ever want to. But… but you do need help, Barney. You have to know that."

Barney was silent, glad that the dim lighting of the room helped to mask the flush of shame on his face. He couldn't bring himself to speak, afraid that his fear and humiliation would be too evident in his voice. He swallowed back the hard knot in his throat, his jaw locked in stubborn refusal to respond.

Lily continued softly, stroking his hair soothingly again, her tone almost apologetic. "I think… I think you need to see someone, Barney. Like… a therapist. Talk all this out, you know? So you can… maybe start to deal with it."

"Talking about it isn't going to help…"

"You don't know that unless you try it, Barney. You're starting your physical therapy tomorrow, right? With that guy your doctor recommended? Why don't you call your doctor back and ask him to recommend someone who can help you to… to start to heal…"

"I don't need a psychologist, Lily," Barney snapped, his voice trembling, dangerously close to out of his control as he finally turned his head to glare at her, jerking his head away from her affectionate touch. "I'm not crazy, and I'm not… not broken, okay? I don't need to talk to some stranger about my feelings. All that would do is just make everything worse. What I need to do is just forget all this ever happened and get on with my life – and I can't do that with you breathing down my neck, insisting on treating me like the son you haven't had yet. So back off!"

Lily flinched slightly, hurt evident on her face – and Barney immediately felt guilty.

She was only trying to help.

His voice softened, regret in his words as he amended, gentler, "I know you mean well, Lily. I know you're doing this because you care, but… but please. Please, just… back off."

Some of the hurt faded from Lily's face, but there was clear disapproval there as well. Barney knew that Lily thought he was making the wrong decision; but it was not her decision to make. He stubbornly looked away from her again, refusing to be dissuaded.

The last thing he needed was for yet another person to see the pathetic wreck to which he'd been reduced.

"Okay." Lily quietly rose to her feet, reaching out to gently squeeze his arm; and in spite of himself Barney found the gesture reassuring in the wake of his rejection of her only moments before. "It's your decision, Barney. I can't make it for you."

She touched the lamp, asking, "Do you want this off?"

Barney hesitated a moment, glancing up at her uncertainly before confessing in a shamed whisper, "No. Leave it."

Lily nodded, making no comment on his choice before turning and going to the door. She stopped there for a moment, however, turning again to regard him with a quiet, solemn sympathy.

"Barney… it doesn't have to be me," she finally said, waiting until he reluctantly met her eyes to go on. "It doesn't have to be anyone you know, if that's easier for you. But… sooner or later… you're going to have to get this out. You're going to have to talk to someone about… everything… they did to you. If you keep it all in, it's going to eat you from the inside out."

Barney looked down at the bed, unable to hold her gaze, tears streaking his face. He hoped she couldn't see them in the dim lighting, from so far away. His hopeless thoughts echoed in his mind, a response he couldn't make his lips form.

Too late… nothing left…

"Just… consider it, okay?" Lily nodded leadingly, and Barney found himself nodding automatically in response. "Just… give it some thought. And Barney…" Her voice was thick with unshed tears as she added with quiet emphasis, "We love you."

Barney nodded again. Unable to form words at that point, a nod was the best he could do to return the sincere sentiment. He waited until Lily had gone, closing the door behind her, to allow his hopeless sobs to escape into the silence – because it was hopeless, he knew.

His mind, his spirit, were still trapped in that dark, isolated cabin – and he had no idea how to escape.