She spent the first four hours holding Nicole's hand tightly begging for her to wake up. Then switched to pacing when she didn't have any tears left. So now, Waverly is pacing. She's been pacing for the past four hours waiting for Nicole to wake up, glancing at the body on the hospital bed every now and then. Talking to herself while pacing. "Nicole, I swear to all things that are holy that if you don't wake up right now, we are never having sex again", "baby, I need you to wake up", "I can't do this without you..."
Waverly stops mid pace to look at Nicole. She can't help but notice how small Nicole looks, how fragile. Sometimes Waverly forgets that Nicole isn't unbreakable, forgets that Nicole needs to be protected too.
Waverly sighs deeply and faces the window of the hospital room that looks out towards the meadow in the back. "Baby, I did something horrible. And I know it's not fair that I'm telling you this now. I swear I'll tell you again once you've woken up and healed. But I can't keep this in anymore. I need you to know even if you won't remember." Waverly takes a deep breath, " I kissed Rosita."
She clenches her eyes shut. Her heart splintering at the first three words she hears. She wants to go back to sleep, wants to return to the dream, the one where Waverly and her are so fucking happy and in love. Wants Wesley to be in her arms. Wants her dad to be alive. She doesn't care it's not real anymore. She just wants to be loved. Wants Waverly to love her.
"Get out."
Waverly freezes. She spins slowly, sees Nicole. Her eyes are open, watery and glossed over. No no no. Waverly rushes toward the bed and reaches down for Nicole's hand, "baby, please. Please let me explain". Nicole flinches away from Waverly's touch and god if that didn't just break Waverly's heart she doesn't know what will.
"Like you let me explain." Nicole looks at Waverly, "you should go".
"Please Nicole, I know I wasn't being fair but please let me explain. It was a horrible mistake that I will never make again. Please Nicole, you have to believe me" Waverly's voice getting more high pitched as she continues speaking, her vision blurring. " I lov-."
"Don't." Nicole interrupts Waverly, " you need to leave. Now." The finality of her tone breaks Waverly, tears spilling over.
"I'm so sorry Nicole", Waverly gets up and walks out of the room. She makes her way around the corner of the hall,a few feet away from the room and collapses. The tears won't stop. She can feel her heart breaking, can feel the shards of her broken heart puncture her lungs. She can't breathe.
She walks into the smallest looking hospital she's ever seen. Tugging her carry on bag behind her she checks in at the front desk. She ignores the various people in the waiting room, noting that there is a surprising amount of people for such a small area.
"My name is Sarah Haught. I'd like to see my sister, Nicole."
She casts a glance at the pregnant lady who looks like she may of fallen out of her chair if the sound of "oh shit" was anything to go by. Quickly refocusing, she's given the room and directions and quickly takes off in the direction indicated by the nursing staff. She misses the hand reaching out for her in her haste to reach Nicole.
She stops abruptly when she finds a woman struggling for breath. She doesn't know why, but a sudden urgency to make sure this woman was okay takes over and the Doctor in Sarah Haught comes out.
Quickly dropping to her knees and letting her belongings fall, she makes eye contact with the woman.
"My name is Dr. Sarah Haught, can you tell me who you are?" The woman shakes her head, unable to speak.
"I'm going to wrap my arms around you, try and follow my breathing", she lets the woman rest her head against her chest as she continues the steady breathing pattern she learned during her therapy sessions, 4. 7. 8.
She wonders if this was finally karma kicking her in the ass. She'd been a shit sister, a shit daughter for the past five years. She knew she deserved it, she was just hoping that the higher ups had given her a free pass. Thought maybe she deserved one of those too.
She regrets immediately sending Waverly away. But she's angry and hurt. So fucking hurt. She can't stop the barrage of thoughts that hurtle cruel and unforgiving words at her. Selfish. Worthless. Not good enough. Alone.