So, here I am back again, on a miserable rain-soaked day here in the UK with another fun filled chapter. I should have made it more sun filled. Can't believe we're on Chapter 20; this story is officially my longest to date and I have to say I'm kinda proud of it.

Chapter 20

After a quiet, tense breakfast Molly went in search of Sherlock. She tried the lab first given that that was where he most often was at this time of day but there was no sign of him. It was the same story when she went to his room.

In the end she spent the morning, as she'd been meaning to spend her holiday, trying to read and relax and not think about Sherlock Holmes. It was a beautiful day and she'd taken herself down to sit on one of the benches in the cloisters so she was out of the full glare of the sun. Her book was interesting and had just reached a crucial point which would normally have had her hooked but she kept finding herself staring across the grass, the book forgotten in her lap.

Her mind just kept going back over the events with Sherlock over the last twenty four hours. Being with him was already a roller coaster ride and Molly just had the feeling it would only get worse. She'd gone from the highs of their first proper kiss, to the lows of jealousy over Nicole. To the euphoria of an orgasm to the shock of the photos. He had barely acknowledged her this morning, there was certainly no recognition of their changed status in the tone of his voice.

In the end she put the book to one side and closed her eyes focusing, as she always did in life, on the positives. She had not only kissed him, but full on made out with him. Jeez she had even given the guy a blow job. That memory had her smiling widely and she vowed to only try to think about the good stuff going forward.

Just before lunch she tried to phone him and text him to see where he was but there was no response to either. A small drizzle of worry slid down her spine but she pushed it away. He was fine; they were fine.

Mandy eventually found her hiding place and suggested they both go into Oxford for some lunch, 'I don't know about you but today feels weird. I don't particularly want to be here. Let's get out, into the real world and forget all this crap. What do you say?'

Molly smiled at her, 'I say yes.'

She quickly dropped her book and water off in her room and picked up her bag and a light cardigan before setting off arm in arm with her friend. They made their way into the heart of the city wanting to feel the normality of life, be part of a crowd, hear people laughing and chatting and just getting on with everyday stuff.

Mandy had suggested a new Gastro Pub which had had amazing reviews for their food so they were heading towards it when Mandy suddenly tugged on Molly's arm. 'Hey, isn't that Sherlock? Over there,' she pointed towards a posh looking wine bar, 'ooh who's that he's with? She's gorgeous.'

Molly looked over to see Sherlock leaving the place with a rather more dressed up Nicole on his arm. Her heels must have been at least three inches and that was also about the length of her skirt. Molly hated the fact that the two of them looked so perfect together, both in expensive designer clothes looking as though they owned the city.

To make matters worse, as she watched, Nicole laughed at something Sherlock said before turning to him and kissing him full on the lips.

Molly turned away fast not wanting to see anymore. She pulled away from Mandy's arm and just walked away in the opposite direction biting on her lip and trying not to cry. She could hear Mandy calling her name but she just couldn't bear to turn back and see any more.

A second later Mandy caught her up and hurriedly walked alongside her, 'hey Molly what's up? Slow down...please.' She caught her arm again slowing her to a halt. She took one look at her face and sighed, 'food be damned, you need a drink. Come on, there's a pub just here you can tell me everything.'

Mandy took control, guiding Molly into the busy pub, ordering them some drinks and some chips and then finding them a seat in the back near some open doors looking out to an overcrowded beer garden.

'Right, drink up then spill it. I know you have a thing for Sherlock but your reaction there was more than just casual jealousy.'

Molly brushed a rogue tear from her eye and concentrated on her drink, the wine landing heavily on her empty stomach.

'I honestly have no idea what is going on. I'm seeing such a different side to Sherlock since we came here that I don't know which part of him is real and which is an illusion. I'd always thought he was a 'married to his work' celibate, possibly a Virgin even but the things I've learnt since being here just throw that all out of the window and now...now I don't know what he is.'

'Something's happened between the two of you hasn't it?' Mandy said softly. Molly just looked at her drink, tracing a drop of condensation with her finger, and nodded.

'Have you slept with him?'

Molly shook her head and looked at Mandy, 'no, not quite. I mean we nearly did but no, we haven't gone that far. It was only yesterday, after the punting trip. Maybe I was just being stupid, maybe he was just carried away with the old fashioned romance of it all. It's just, I thought we were starting something...'

'...and them you catch him kissing some strange tart in the street.'

Molly tried to raise a smile but couldn't quite manage it, 'oh she's no stranger to him' and she told Mandy all about their meeting with Nicole the previous day.

When she'd finished Mandy was silent for a while picking at the chips that had just been delivered. 'So, what we're contemplating is that a guy who has effectively been celibate for over a decade has in the space of 24 hours started a relationship with you and is now cheating on you with an ex. I have to say Molly that sounds far-fetched even to me.'

Molly munched on a chip, they looked delicious but it felt like sawdust in her mouth. 'I know, but something happened to him here in Oxford all those years ago and whatever it was he won't talk about it but it's affecting him. I know it is. Maybe, yesterday he did have some feelings for me but... I don't know, maybe seeing Nicole has brought back all the feelings he had for her and he's had to see if there's anything still there.'

'I don't know Molly that's a lot of maybes. You know what you need to do.' She continued when Molly just looked at her questioningly, 'you have to talk to him. Find out what's going on. Otherwise you're just going to tie yourself up in knots or go round in circles.'

They made their way quietly back up to the college and when Molly got back to her room she could hear Sherlock moving about in his. She stood quietly, listening for a moment to make sure she couldn't hear voices. If Nicole was in there Molly didn't want to embarrass herself but in the end she went and knocked on the connecting bathroom door into his room.

'Come in Molly, there's really no need for you to knock.'

She pushed the door open and went in to find him sat on the side of his bed, phone in hand, texting.

He glanced up at her briefly as he started to talk, 'I'm just sending Mycroft a...' He looked back up at her taking a longer look before he threw the phone to one side and stood, 'Molly, what's wrong? Has something else happened?'

Molly stayed where she was not daring to get closer to him, 'yes...I mean no. There haven't been any other pranks, if that's what you're thinking.'

'But something's happened, you look upset, you've even been drinking...but no food. You've obviously been into town, maybe with Mandy and something upset you...ahhh.' He took a moment and sat back down, 'you saw me didn't you? With Nicole.'

Molly didn't trust herself to say anything so just let the silence speak for her.

He frowned looking back up at her, 'and what, you assumed I was cheating on you, with her? Of course you did, it seems you have a lower opinion of me that I thought.'

Molly looked up sharply at this, 'so you weren't...you're not...'

His voice rose in anger. 'Sleeping with her? No Molly I'm not. I haven't had a relationship in over ten years do you really think I'd start up two in 24 hours?'

'I...I don't know what to think Sherlock. This...us...it's all so sudden. And I know something happened to you here, something you don't seem to want to discuss or talk about and then I see you in town kissing some woman whom you obviously had some sort of relationship with. So I'm sorry, you're right. I don't know what to believe.'

He stood up again and paced for a second and Molly could see his fists clenching and unclenching, 'my past is not important. I just...I thought you had more faith in me than that Molly.'

She took a step forward at that, 'I do Sherlock, you know I do. But you're wrong, your past is important if it's going to impact on our future. I...you know how I feel about you Sherlock, you've always known...but I don't know how you feel about me.'

He had his back turned to her as he looked out of the window. He knew he needed to say something, knew he should tell Molly about exactly what had happened here but he'd never told anyone the real truth ever and he couldn't seem to find the words. It was only when he heard Molly shut the door behind her as she went back into her room that he realised he had missed his moment. He sat down heavily on the bed and put his head in his hands.

MHMHMHMHMHMHMHMHMH

Molly threw herself down on her bed and gave way to the tears that had been threatening all afternoon. She didn't believe now that Sherlock was having an affair but she was still none the wiser about his feelings for her or what had happened in his past or why he'd been kissing Nicole.

After a short while and with her head aching and tired from her thoughts she fell into a restless sleep.

When she woke it was almost five. She dragged herself into the bathroom to rinse her face and to freshen up. She looked into the mirror and winced when she saw the puffy eyes and blotchy face looking back at her. She'd never been an attractive crier.

She wandered back into her room and it was only then that she saw the note that had been pushed under her door.

Molly,

I have need to be in London for a couple of days. We can talk when I return.

Sherlock

Molly sat in one of the chairs, her feet tucked under her and she traced his name with her finger on the page. The note just seemed to make her head hurt even more; it told her absolutely nothing about how he felt about her or anything. It looked like it was going to be a long two days.

Sorry to have to throw in a bit of angst, I'll make it up to you all eventually...promise. I'll make sure you get another update Friday as there won't be one over the weekend. I'm going away in a girlie weekend to the Isle of Wight...all wine and no kids ;).