Warning: rant ahead

I've had a couple of very rude anon reviewers those last few chapters that I hate to admit have disheartened me a little. At first I wished I could reply to them to explain my choices, but then I realized that I don't have to. This is the story I want to tell, and if they don't like it, they don't have to keep reading it. I really don't get why they're still here after 100 000 words if they don't enjoy it. I'm actually kind of jealous: I can barely find the time to read the stories I love, I wouldn't waste hours on stuff I don't like.

While I do try to take criticism into consideration when I think it is well-founded, I know I can't make everyone happy, and I'm certainly not going to let someone else write my story.

I really, really want to thank the other reviewers once again for their support, particularly those who actually log in when they have some reservations to express about the plot or characters. I will not deny that those who found Klaus slightly OOC in the last couple of chapters are kind of right but there's an explanation. Now, whether you will find it satisfactory or not, I don't know, but well… All in good time ;)

With that off my chest, on with the story!

PS: please note the awesome new cover for this story. I have Klaroline-Fantasies to thank for it :D

Chapter 19: Heal Over

It isn't very difficult to see why

You are the way you are

Doesn't take a genius to realize

That sometimes life is hard

It's gonna take time

But you'll just have to wait

You're gonna be fine

But in the meantime

Come over here lady

Let me wipe your tears away

Come a little nearer baby

Cause you'll heal over, heal over, heal over someday

She's bored out of her mind. It's getting dark outside and Klaus hasn't returned yet, and with no books at her disposal and no wish to watch TV, the cabin is too quiet. She could have gone out, discovered some of those famous landscapes, but she decided against it. Not only does she want to be here when he comes back, she doesn't feel like doing this without him. He's the one who brought her here, who decided to share with her this place that's so special to him, it would feel wrong to just explore on her own when she knows he wants to be by her side at her first glimpse of those wonders. And honestly, she wants him to be by her side.

Ever the glass-half-full kind, she's decided to see his outburst as a good thing.

Though she can't quite put her finger on it, something feels off about him since he got his emotions back, and his reaction to her not being on vervain is the first one she's seen that seems normal. At least for him.

So yes, while it hurts that he felt the need to leave and she's not happy that he doesn't trust himself – or her – she promised him she'd be patient, and she intends to keep that promise.

It's not like she doesn't have anything to keep her mind occupied, she thinks as she glances at the phone in her hand, debating whether or not to follow through on the idea that crossed her mind a couple of hours ago.

What she told Klaus in the bayou is true. She's been so preoccupied with getting him back and then making sure he didn't fall apart that she's managed to push her own issues to the back of her mind, but it's time to let them come forth. This feels like the perfect opportunity. She figures she still has a few hours before he comes back and well, maybe this is something she has to do on her own. After all, she did tell him that they can't depend on each other too much. However, she's not sure she's strong enough.

Although it still threatens to overwhelm her at times, her guilt over everything she's done while she was emotionless is something she's learning to manage, but this… This is different. This is the very reason she flipped the switch, and she doesn't know how she'll react if the pain is too much once again. She doesn't want to go through this again.

Then again, how can she hope to help Klaus grieve if she can't?

Taking a deep breath, Caroline turns on her phone, wincing a little when she sees that she does in fact get an Internet signal, even in such a remote area. If she hadn't, it would have been a good excuse not to go through with it. Damn technology.

Oh well.

No choice now.

In a matter of seconds, she's accessed her online account. Like everything in her life, the various folders are carefully organized, so it doesn't take her long to find the photo she's looking for.

The angle is weird but her smile is bright and the look in her mother's eyes as she looks at her is one of love and fond amusement.

It's enough for the first tear to fall.

This is the last picture they took together.

Caroline was home for the weekend. For once, there was no drama awaiting her in Mystic Falls, and her mother had managed to take two days off work for the occasion, something that hadn't happened in way too long. They'd spent those two days shopping, watching movies and eating junk food, Liz teasing her about the Whitmore boys and Caroline deflecting by talking about her classes instead.

A perfect weekend.

Her mother was killed three weeks later.

Holding back an anguished cry, Caroline browses through the folder, finding more pictures – some of her mom only, most with the two of them. Liz never really saw the point of lonely photos.

A laugh escapes her through her tears as she finds one she took of her mother waking up after crashing for nearly 10 hours because she hadn't slept in three days. Her hair is sticking out everywhere, she's still in her pajamas, she has pillow marks on her face, and her eyes are barely open. Liz tried to threaten her into deleting it but Caroline kept it, joking about how she could use it as blackmail.

God, she'll never have another moment like this one with her.

The laughter dies instantly at the thought and the tears fall harder.

That's enough for today, she can't take anymore.

Turning off her phone, she places it on the table in front of her and curls up on the couch, sobs raking her body as the happy memories mingle with visions of her mother's bloodied corpse.

She falls asleep after a while, and this is how Klaus finds her.

After a few hours spent hunting wild animals, feeding on three humans, and hoping that this will sate his bloodlust enough that the urge to taste Caroline's blood now that he knows she's vervain-free will be tamed for a while, he makes his way back to the cabin. He's calmer than he was when he left but still fully prepared to confront her about the vervain issue, to tell her that he is going to call his siblings so that one of them can join them to bring her some, but what he sees after he's hung his jacket stops him dead in his tracks, all thoughts of upsetting her further leaving his mind as soon as he notices her tears strained face and labored breathing.

She's asleep, but her dream is clearly not a pleasant one, and given the state she's in, he has to wonder how long she spent crying before she finally succumbed to the darkness.

Is it… Is it his fault?

He shakes the thought away almost as soon as it enters his mind. She was oddly resigned when he left, and she's stronger than that. Strong enough not to cry herself to sleep just because he needed some time alone.

No, something else brought this on. His bet is on either her mother's death or her guilt over those she killed while her humanity was off.

Either way, he should have been there for her.

With a deep sigh, he gets rid of his snow-covered shoes and walks to the couch quietly, unsure if he should wake her or not. Her brow is furrowed in pain and a soft whimper escapes her. He crouches down next to her, his hand moving almost of its own accord to settle on her forehead, hoping to soothe the nightmare away. She does seem to relax for a second, but then her body gives a little jerk and she shakes her head in despair, his hand falling from her skin to rest against the couch next to her shoulder.

"Sweetheart," he says softly, deciding that he just can't see her like this any longer.

When she doesn't react, he gives her shoulder a small shake, and this does the trick. Her eyes snap open and she seems completely lost for a second, just like she did in the car, but then her gaze falls on him and she sighs in relief.

Before he has a chance to say a word, her arms are wrapped tightly around his neck. He adjusts their position, picking her up so that he can take her place on the couch and gather her in his arms, her head resting on his shoulder as she gets her breathing under control and tries to hold back fresh tears.

"I was… I was watching pictures of my mom and…"

She doesn't say anymore, but she doesn't need to. He can guess what kind of dreams this lead to. He wishes there was something he could do to ease her suffering, but apart from holding her and stroking her hair in what he hopes is a reassuring motion, he can't think of anything. It's not like she would want him to compel her pain away, and…

Wait.

Compulsion is definitely out of the question, but there might be something he can do.

She must feel him tense beneath her, because she raises her head from its resting spot to look him in the eye. He swallows hard at the unshed tears he sees in hers, unsure how she's going to react to his suggestion. Instead of coming right out and saying it, he disentangles his hand from her hair only to carefully place his fingertips against her temple.

She frowns in confusion, but her face lights up with understanding when he just asks, "May I?"

There's not even the slightest bit of hesitation on her part before she nods.

"Please."

God, how desperate is she that she's willing to let him enter her mind without a second thought? How long has it been since she's felt completely at peace? If she keeps acting like this around him, he's going to have to start believing her when she says that she trusts him. The thought sends a pang to his heart. Hope and fear make for a strange combination.

Giving her a small smile, he doesn't resist the urge to press a kiss to her hair and he whispers, "Then sleep, love."

It seems to be easier said than done. She stays in his arms quietly, but sleep doesn't come back. While she knows that he intends to give her a dream, it must be hard to forget the visions that assaulted her when she let her fatigue win over earlier. Deciding that they need to take this somewhere more comfortable if she is to have any hope of falling asleep again, he stands up with her still securely in his arms and he flashes to her bedroom. Once there, he sets her down on the bed and brings a chair next to it while she watches him through tired eyes. Sitting down, he leans over her and places his fingers back against the side of her face, knowing that this will be easier with a physical connection. He takes her hand in his free one, his thumb softly stroking a pattern against her skin, and after a few minutes, she finally starts to relax, her breathing gradually becoming slower and deeper.

Once he knows she's asleep, he closes his eyes and enters her subconscious, unsurprised to find it completely dark. She hasn't been asleep long enough to be dreaming yet and he's glad. It means he doesn't have to pull her out of a nightmare first.

She expected him to give her a dream of beauty and joy, of bright colors and warm breeze, of blue skies and dancing. She expected him to want to make her feel happy for a few hours so that she could forget about her worries and pains. She expected him to bring her to one of those cities he promised to take her before. She expected him to try and distract her from everything.

She expected lots of things.

But when she opens her eyes in her dream state, the scene before her is one of maybe three scenarios that hadn't occurred to her. She blinks once, twice, wondering if what she's seeing is really what he wants her to see or if one of her own dreams of misery was powerful enough to ward off his influence.

"Klaus?" she asks though she's not sure if he can hear her, her voice small and trembling.

There's not verbal response, but her hand feels like it's now encased in a warm, larger one, and she knows it's his way of telling her that he heard her and that yes, he is indeed controlling the dream.

She briefly wonders why he's not here with her before it dawns on her. He's letting her do this on her own – or as on her own as she can be given that he's the one making this happen.

And suddenly, her apprehension vanishes into thin air as she understands what he's doing, replaced with unspeakable gratitude that he knew what she needed even when she didn't and that he's willing to give it to her.

The words get caught in her throat when she tries to say them, so instead, she gives the invisible hand in hers a small squeeze. There's a soft caress in answer, and then the warmth is gone, because she doesn't need it anymore.

Not now that she gets his intent.

As evidenced by the fact that she managed to speak and that she knows she's in a dream – and by the fact that she's in full control of her body – Caroline knows that Klaus is only creating the environment, leaving her with her free will instead of making her do what he thinks she should do. He knows this is the only way that this will accomplish anything.

Looking down at her outfit, she notes with little to no surprise that it's perfectly appropriate for the occasion and she even manages a small smile at his attention to detail when she identifies the dress as one of hers. The only thing he got wrong are the shoes. She's never seen those before, but oh well, thousand year old creepily observant hybrid or not, he's still a guy, so she guesses she can't blame him for the slight inaccuracy.

Aware that she's procrastinating, trying to avoid the moment when she'll have to face the scene he created for her, she straightens her shoulders resolutely, ready to face her biggest regret.

Swallowing is painful with the lump in her throat, but she forces herself to do so and to take a few deep, calming breaths before she takes a few steps forward, nearing the crowd gathered around the open grave.

"Care."

At the familiar nickname, she looks up, finding Elena standing next to her, her look one of quiet concern and compassion.

All the emotions she's been trying to suppress come rushing back when she lays eyes on her friend and reads the pain in hers. A quiet sob escapes her, and before she knows it, she finds herself in Elena's embrace, the two girls hugging tightly before the understanding eyes of half of Mystic Falls.

Once she manages to get herself under control, she releases her hold on her friend and turns towards the coffin, barely able to comprehend that her mother, the strongest woman she ever knew, is lying there.

"Are you going to say a few words?"

Caroline's first instinct is to shake her head, but then she reconsiders. Klaus is giving her this chance to lay one of her biggest demons to rest, to start forgiving herself for the fact that she wasn't strong enough to attend her mother's funeral, to say goodbye. He went through a lot of trouble to create this with as many details as possible. God, even Tyler is here! The original hybrid is really going all out to make sure that this is realistic, putting aside his own feelings and grudges in order to give her this moment. It may be virtual, but it feels damn real, and that's what she needs. She has to take advantage of it.

And so she gives a firm nod and goes to stand near the headstone. She almost chokes at the simple words she reads there. 'Elizabeth Forbes – Protector'. Nothing else. Because nothing else is needed. This is what her mother was, everyone knows it. This is what she will be remembered as. More importantly, this is what she would have wanted to be remembered as.

Caroline makes a mental note to have this added to the actual headstone in Mystic Falls if it's not already engraved in it.

Noting that everyone is looking at her, she clears her throat and, though she doesn't have a speech prepared, the words flow easily from her mouth. After the obligatory thanks and acknowledgements, she lets her emotions speak for her.

"Every single one of us is here today thanks to Liz Forbes. Some of you are aware of just how much you owe her, of how much she really did for this town. Most of you only know her as the killjoy who used to break up their parties at the Falls," this earns her a few laughs, and Caroline smiles through the tears that are trying to break free. "A few of you have managed to be her friends in between her dedication to her job and her dealing with a teenage, rebellious, ungrateful daughter. But I can promise you that all of us, without a single exception, have her to thank for the fact that we are still alive. This town is dangerous. I can only hope that whoever steps into my mother's shoes will be up to the task, but those are really big shoes to fill." She's about to put an end to her little speech when she remembers something else that she needs to get off her chest, something that she needs to admit to herself if she is to ever forgive herself. Sighing, she lets her voice drop down as she makes her last confession. "My mom and I had our differences. I put her through hell, and she was too stubborn to admit that she had no idea how to deal with me. But those last few years, we had grown closer, and she knew how much I loved her. Just like I know that she was proud of me. And while I'm sorry that I didn't tell her nearly enough, this is what matters. That she knew, and that she's forgiven me for everything."

After that, there's a minute of silence, before people start coming up to her to offer their condolences and congratulate her on her speech. After the last of them has talked to her, she walks a little ways off the grave, deciding to wait until everyone has left before she gets closer to the coffin.

"Well done Blondie," a well-known voice says behind her before adding a dry, "I almost cried."

God, this is such a Damon thing to say, down to his biting tone, that she actually chuckles, the laugh bubbling up unexpectedly in spite of the situation. She bites her lip to hold it back, knowing that it will be frowned upon if anyone else hears her, but the older vampire has already noticed and he gives her a wink when she turns around to face him. Jeez, trust the asshole to manage to lighten the mood at her mother's funeral… And trust Klaus to know that she needed this and that only Damon would be tactless enough to make that kind of comment. She nods in acknowledgement of his weird attempt to cheer her up and starts to put some distance between them, expecting him to leave now that he's said what he wanted to say, but he calls her back.

"Blondie!" She turns back to him, surprised to see him looking serious all of a sudden. "She was, you know. Proud of you, I mean." At her flabbergasted look, he quickly adds, "Not that I get why, but well."

And he's back.

"Bite me, Damon."

The words are barely out of her mouth before she realizes her mistake, but it's too late to take them back. Surprisingly however, Damon doesn't comment, not even with a crude allusion to what happened between them.

Oh right.

Klaus doesn't know, so of course he wouldn't make fake-Damon talk about it.

Note to self: never let Klaus find out unless she wants Damon to die a slow and horrible death. Which, you know, she kind of does want sometimes, but no. Bad idea.

She almost asks the elder Salvatore where Stefan is before she remembers that he couldn't have attended the funeral since he was still Silas's prisoner then. And since Klaus is trying to be as thorough as possible in his reproduction of the actual scene, he didn't bring her best friend here.

Sighing, she leaves Damon behind and just stands by the coffin as everyone starts to leave, Elena lingering behind until Caroline assures her that she needs some time to herself.

Once she's alone, she allows the tears to fall silently, her last goodbye to a woman she loved more than anything, as well as a promise that she's going to do better from now on.

"Klaus?" she says groggily when she wakes up hours later, confused as to why he's not right next to her.

"I'm here, love."

Turning in the direction of his voice, she finds him standing by the window. He turns from the beautiful white, sunlit scenery to look at her and gives her a hesitant smile, clearly unsure if his initiative was well-received. While she was surprised that he chose this scene instead of the thousand good things he could have shown her, she's incredibly grateful that he made this choice. And so she leaves the bed to go stand next to him, her eyes meeting is, making sure that he knows how much she means it.

"Thank you."

His gaze softens, his shoulders relax, and he gives her a small nod.

"You're welcome."

"That was…" Thoughtful? Perfect? Heartbreaking? Cathartic? Unexpected? Painful? Amazingly real? While it was all those things, she ends up settling on, "Exactly what I needed."

"I'm glad. Do you want to talk about it?"

She shakes her head.

"No, I… I think I've taken all I can take for now." She feels like she should say more, but really, the mere fact that he gave her this dream is proof enough that he knows what it meant to her and she decides to drop the subject for now. "Did you sleep at all?"

"I did. I went to my room after I gave you the dream. I came back here once I woke up to make sure you weren't having another nightmare."

She smiles.

"So that means I'm rested, you're rested, and it's a beautiful day. What are we waiting for?"

He smirks at her enthusiasm. He's clearly aware that she's looking for a distraction after her whole day and night of emotional distress, and he decides to indulge her.

"Get dressed."

"Run or drive?"

"What?"

"Do you want to run or drive?"

"I don't know where we're going," she reminds him.

"It doesn't matter."

"It kind of does," she insists.

"Why?"

"Because if it's like 50 miles away, we can't run."

"Why not?" Without giving her a chance to think of a more convincing answer than 'huh, because?', he asks another rhetorical question. "You have no idea what you're capable of, do you? And no, it's not that far, but one day you're going to have to test your limits. You'll be pleasantly surprised."

"Ok… Well, can we run to… wherever it is we're going?"

The question makes him give a small smile. She's embraced her vampire nature more and more during her college experience, and even more – some would say too much – while she was in New York, but she still clings to some of her human instincts. Like asking if something is physically possible. There's not much that isn't possible for them. Showing her is… Something to look forward to.

"I don't see why not."

And he takes off at full hybrid speed, smirking when he hears her utter a curse as she's left behind. Not for long though, because just like he expected, she reacts quickly, flashing off after him. Once he's sure she's risen to the challenge, he slows his pace to match hers, knowing that she couldn't hope to keep up with him if he were to keep using his powers to their full extent. He's a hybrid and much older than her, after all.

After a couple of minutes of grumbling after him, undeterred by the fact that speaking makes it harder for her to get oxygen to her lungs, she starts paying attention to her surroundings. He knows the exact moment when she realizes how breathtaking it all is, her half-hearted insults stopping almost mid-word as she looks up at the clear blue skies, the sparkling snow, the impressive peaks. They're going too fast for her to be able to fully appreciate it, and he expects her to protest, but she must have decided to follow his lead without question. He makes a mental note to congratulate her later for her control over – ironically – her control freak tendencies.

Out of the corner of his eye, he catches her pout when the snow on the ground starts making way to earth and dirt. The place where he's taking her is lower than the cabin, and it doesn't snow at this altitude during the summer. Still she stays silent, and after another ten minutes, they reach their destination. Almost. He stops right before the spot where he knows they'll have a perfect view and she almost runs into his back, but she catches herself just in time.

"Wait here. I'll be back in a few minutes."

It doesn't take him long to flash around the area and to compel the few hikers he crosses paths with to leave. Once he's sure that they're alone, he runs back to her and gestures towards the path he just came back from. She throws him a curious look but follows his silent advice. She takes a few steps forward… And stops.

"Oh my God."

Peru tends to have that effect on people.

He lets her take in the view for as long as she wants, more interested in her reaction than in the admittedly stunning landscape before them. After a few minutes, she seems to shake herself from her trance, at least enough to start walking slowly, the beauty of it all beckoning her to come closer.

"This is Parón Lake," he says quietly, unwilling to break her little bubble of awe. He takes her nod for a sign of attention and a permission to continue speaking. "It's the largest lake in the area. That mountain there is Pyrámide. Original, I know. And this one is Artesonraju."

"I've heard of it," she says, her voice almost a whisper as they get closer to the almost-too-blue water, new details appearing at every turn, making the place even more beautiful with the thought of the many hidden gems it shelters. "It's the Paramount Pictures logo."

"So they say."

"It's not?"

"It might be," he shrugs. "The resemblance is uncanny. Would you like to climb it?"

"I would," she smiles, her eyes still dreamy. "But not today. It's way too beautiful down here."

"As you wish."

And so they spend the rest of the day just walking around the lake and taking in the view from every possible angle, all the while knowing that this is just a day off and that at some point, they're going to have to stop sweeping everything under the rug and face reality.

Not something to look forward to.

TBC…