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- Laced with Cyanide

20

A Child's Influence

Mugen

Those eyes, they were not right on that child. That child should not have those eyes, he just shouldn't and he definitely shouldn't aim those eyes…

…at me

I stared back, I felt my face drop, I felt the world around me collapse. I wanted to do something, but I couldn't, there was nothing at all to be done…I had tainted the child's memories. It hurt, it hurt, more than anything, more that it had hurt when I had harmed Fuu that night, something about this kid, his face, the emotion it expressed, was worse than any emotion that had crossed Fuu's face, it was as though he was trying to hurt me. But I knew he couldn't, he was genuinely scared of me.

I took a hesitant step forward and he stepped back instinctively, I gritted my teeth, I could feel the rare expression on my face, it was hopeless, it was worried. I couldn't lose the kid, not like this, not by something as simple as this. This was normal for me, I couldn't change this, not even for the brat, but I couldn't stand this feeling, the feeling of cold terror in his eyes. Please stop, just stop, I said to myself, just please, stop it,

"Stop it!" I roared as something inside me broke, as my resolve snapped into billions of small pieces, he took another step back, "shit."

I took steps towards him and though scared he didn't step back, he didn't run. I kneeled down to look at him, face to face,

"He's dead…" he said, almost to himself,

"It had to be done"

"No…killing is wrong"

"There's nothing wrong with killing if they deserve it"

"Mum said…she said that it is wrong, that I should never do it," I was taken aback…she said that? Is that how she really felt? Then…why…why did she put up with me?

"She didn't mean it like that," I surmised, "bad people should die, they stain the earth with their cruelty and lies"

"Mum says you're a bad man," again, I was taken aback, she wouldn't…I was but, the way this kid said it…no, she couldn't have meant it like that,

"I don't kill innocent people," usually,

"He…begged"

"Empty promises. No matter how much someone begs, they will never change, only the worst kind of trash beg for their own lives"

"But…"

"What about that man, the one that you used to live with, you haven't complained once about his death, why would you now, for a complete stranger?"

"But…" he stopped, he couldn't argue, but the trust was gone, I put my hand on his shoulder,

"Listen, I'm sorry, okay?"

"No you're not," he had me there,

"You're right, I'm not, but I'm sorry I hurt you, I would have preferred if you hadn't seen that, I should have warned you that I was a killer, at the very least, I really am sorry for that, but, around me, people die a lot," the words flew from my mouth, apologising to brat seemed easier somehow,

"Well, don't do it!" his words shocked me to the core, but I nodded,

"I will try," and I would, "but I will have to sometimes, no matter what you feel," he seemed somewhat calmer now. Hesitantly I wiped away his tears and threw him back over my shoulder. He seemed colder towards me now, but I had more important things to worry about, I could worry about him later, I had wasted too much time here,

I had to save Fuu.

"Hey, kid, is this the way to the shore?"

"Yeah"

With that I began running down the dirt road with every ounce of strength I could muster, the shock of this morning undoing the tiredness and exhaustion of last night's activities and giving me a kind of energy that I didn't know I was capable of having.

Jin

I ran back, only just finding myself back at the fork of the road I had made my mistake at earlier. I stopped for a moment, putting my hands on my knees as I desperately tried to catch my breath, I cursed myself; this time with Shino had made me soft, I smiled to myself, a year ago I would have ran on without hesitation.

I would have to work hard when I got back.

For Shino,

For the baby,

For everyone.

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