Main event: Best friend, coming to the rescue

POV: Ellis

Time period: 6 months after the failed wedding

Did I ever tell you about the time that I had to smooth talk Keith's dad and Keith's dad's friends from beating the hell out of him one night?

See, Keith was the kinda guy that when he drank, he was ALL kinds of a drunk man except for the angry kind. No matter how much alcohol you tanked into this man, he wouldn't ever get to be the angry drunk.

Most of his drunk cycles were pretty fun, except SAD drunk Keith, and the drunk Keith that would be a really clingy hugger.

Well, one 4th of July, he was really drunk and we were at his family's house. This was a little while after his failed wedding so he was in a delicate condition every once in a while.

Keith has maybe 8 beers in him and was no longer allowed to light the fireworks anymore for safety reasons. I was having a good time and Keith got puked on by his drunk sister. Since he was drunk himself, he went into the house to change his shirt and came out with one of her shirts on. It was passable for a boy's shirt but it was too short.

So I decide to give him a few jabs and make fun. So I says, "Keith, buddy. Nice shirt. Makes you look a bit gay, though."

Forever being the guy that never backed down from a challenge, he walks over to me, slightly uneasy and he says, Quote

"Oh yeah? Well, the way your pants hug your ass makes you look Hot. AS. SHIT!"

This was not something new. People always said I had a nicer ass than a girl's, which embarrassed the Hell out of me. But it was usually only a quiet joke. He said it pretty loud though, and his dad noticed. His dad's friends noticed, and they were all old-fashioned guys. Needless to say, this started to cause a commotion.

Keith's dad always liked me, so I was able to calm him down, convince him that his son was NOT a queer, and do something I hated to do. LIE. I insisted that Keith was way drunker than he looked, had way more alcohol at my house before he was at home. Had to stand there guarding him from possible abuse as his dad closed in and slowly came down from being really mad.

His dad was drunk too, so I had to basically catalog all the straight things his son has ever done in his life, versus this one incident tonight. After he was calm and put his fists down, I took Keith with me to the store, and of course he was pulling his "I love you, man" crap.

I was just like, "Dammit buddy, I hate when you drink."

I was just completely floored by the junk Keith's dad was saying to him. Holy Hell, that was so cruel.