Tears of Glass – Part 20 – The Answer

They had got Astrid, Erick, and the little one safely to the village of Pendose by the next day, and then Cara revealed to Zedd the bond all D'Harans had with the Lord Rahl. It was not something she often talked about, but she had it. Zedd was curious as to why she never revealed this side of the bond, but at the moment he could care less. Cara was using this bond formed by the first Lord Rahl to find Richard, and that was more important to him than why she had hid this ability.

The riding had been hard and fierce, and his backside ached, but his focus was on finding his grandson and Kahlan, who was everything like a granddaughter to him. And soon she would be. Richard wanted to marry Kahlan and make her part of their family. And Zedd fully supported Richard in that endeavor. He could not have asked for a better woman to be the wife of his grandson. Kahlan gave Richard so much by just loving him that Zedd had had to restrain himself when he saw the two falling in love.

As with all First Wizards, he had been passed down the secret to how to love a confessor. The wizard Merrit had done it with the first Mother Confessor, Magda Searus. When a man fell completely in love with a confessor, to the point where he would already devote all his being to her, the powers of that confessor would be useless against him. They could not touch him. They would just wash over him, unable to make him love her more than he already did. That was the secret Zedd knew, and as much as he wanted to tell the two lovebirds, he couldn't.

It was fear that knowing the secret would prevent them from achieving it. Having planted the idea in their minds, Zedd was afraid that there might be some small doubt in the back of Richard's mind. And that small bit of doubt, no matter how tiny or insignificant, would result in Richard then being confessed. For it to truly work, they had to find out on their own. And they did.

But now, spirits, now their love was going to be tested again. And this time he feared he had the secret to save them but could not tell them because he had yet to find it. The answer to save Richard from being the host to the Leviathan of Chaos was hidden somewhere in the pages of the book Shota had given him from the Wizard's Keep. Somewhere in that book was the means to end this, and Zedd was so frustrated that he had yet to find it.

As they rode, he tried to steer with one hand and read with the other. Being a wizard he was able to concentrate on both tasks, but it was mind numbingly difficult. The text the ancient tome was written in was one of the older dialects used by the wizards and he had never been to good at learning it during his studies, much to the disappointment of his father.

Cara pulled the reins on her horse, bringing the mount to a stand still. Zedd did the same with his, and guided his mount up alongside Cara. He lowered the book and looked out beyond the Mord'Sith towards the ominous clouds on the horizon. They had reached the forest of Gregor's Maw, an altogether unpleasant region in the Midlands, not far from Serpent's Fang, a tremendous dead volcano that still issued out vapors that turned the moonlight green. Some people believed that this place was cursed, and the constant fog and mist added to the dreadful nature of the place.

The Mord'Sith let out a breath and wiped the sweat from her brow. She looked over her shoulder and gazed up at him with big blue D'Haran eyes. "Richard's in there," she said, her eyes darting back to the forest.

Zedd's horse nickered and danced around nervously. He reached down with a large weathered hand and gave a pat on the steed's neck, understanding the animal's trepidation. The wizard did not have a good feeling, as well.

"Gregor's Maw," he growled, scowling out at the misty forests in front of them. "A terrible place, if ever there was one."

"He's in there," Cara repeated, and for the first time looking concerned. "And where he is…"

"Kahlan won't be far," Zedd finished, giving a nod. There were many things the Mother Confessor would do, but abandoning Richard was not one of them. He only hoped that such devotion to the Seeker had not blinded her to the danger that was transpiring. He closed his eyes and prayed that she had not already fallen victim to the Leviathan. If the beast had taken hold of Richard, only the spirits know what it would do.

Cara narrowed her eyes, putting on the face of the determined warrior that she was. "Let's not waste anytime sitting here talking," she grumbled. "I can sense him more clearly now… and he's close."

Zedd gave a nod and squeezed his legs gently, encouraging his mount to follow Cara's lead. The wizard closed his eyes and mumbled some words, giving the horse more awareness so that he may focus on the book while the horse carried him through the woods. If anything, he had to find the answer, and he was not going to get it if he ignored the only book ever written about the Leviathan of Chaos. He ducked his head as they galloped into the dense forest shrouded in mist. High above it all, looming in the distance was the tall peak of Serpent's Fang.

XXX

Kahlan woke up feeling like she'd just fallen off a cliff. Her head was pounding and her lip was swollen from where he'd hit her. She had some of her mobility back and arched her neck to look down at herself. Her clothes, what little was left of them, had been removed. She closed her eyes for a moment and knitted her eyebrows together trying to remember what had happened. Kahlan examined herself some more and nearly let out a cry when she saw that her legs had been pushed apart.

Using all the strength she had, Kahlan tried to move her legs. Tears of agony formed in her eyes when she felt the terrible ache in her thighs and the soreness of her leg muscles as she closed them up. She rolled her head back and sobbed softly, realizing what that thing had done to her with Richard's body. She didn't know whether to be angry at the violation or not. In a way both of them had been violated. Richard was helpless, trapped in his own body as that thing, whatever it was, did as it pleased. She closed her eyes, trying to stem the rivers of tears, almost thankful that she had blacked out before it had happened.

Slowly, she rolled onto her side and curled up into the fetal position, sobbing silently, not wanting that thing, if it was still around, to relish in her suffering. The only comfort she could derive from the entire episode was that it had not been another man. In some twisted sick way it had still been Richard, the man she loved, who had been inside her, still his seed that she felt caked to her thighs. But the truth of the matter was that it was not him.

They had made love before, and she remembered how blissful and pure it felt afterwards, like being embrace by the Creator herself. It did not feel like this. She did not have this terrible agonizing pain in her legs or the bruises all over her body. Richard was kind and gentle, tender in his affection for her. This thing, this beast… this monster had just taken her for its pleasure. It had no love, only hate. It was chaos.

Kahlan heard a sound that made her look up. Richard was squatting not far away, splashing water across his bare chest. She narrowed her eyes, staring at him with rage for the violation that had been done to her body. For a moment, for a split second, she forgot that it was Richard she was staring at. All she thought about was the glowing red eyes that had glared at her as he hit her.

He appeared unaware that she had awoken. She had that for an advantage. Kahlan quietly sat up and looked around. The mist was returning, crawling across the rocks and foliage like a creeping snake. How she hated snakes. As her eyes darted around, she spotted it, and almost thought she was being too lucky. No way he would just leave it there unguarded.

There it stood, still stuck in the ground where he had stabbed it. Kahlan looked over her shoulder to check on the Seeker, before slowly scampering over to the sword. Embedded into the ground, it was the only weapon available to her. And no matter how much she loathed the idea of hurting Richard; he had been right when he had tried to warn her. She had suffered for not heeding his warnings. But now, however, she would no longer be a victim. If there was one thing Kahlan hated above all else, it was being a victim.

Tightening her fingers into a fist, Kahlan grabbed the pommel with her hand. Slowly standing, she pulled the sword out of the ground, being careful not to make a sound. On her tiptoes, she stalked up behind Richard, ready to meet out justice for the crimes done to her body. But then he spun around and she was confronted with his gorgeous boyish face. It was his face, his body that the monster was possessing. How could she bring herself to harm him? How?

The red eyes glowed brightly and he grinned wickedly. "I see you've awoken," he said, treating her like nothing more than a common street whore. Slowly he stood before her, pushing out his chest, brazenly showing off all the toned muscles possessed to him in Richard's body.

Kahlan felt like a fool, standing there before him, trembling. He rose up above her and shook his head in disappointment.

"You might have been a good roll in the hay for the Seeker, squirming and such," he spoke cruelly, folding his arms across his impressive chest. "But for me, not so much. You just laid there and took it like a whore."

"You knocked me out, you monster!" Kahlan spat out through clenched teeth. "You just took me. You've never had what Richard and I shared."

"And so shall you," he spoke confidently. Richard lowered his arm and held out his hand, palm open. "Now, be a good little whore, and give me the sword so I can end your pathetic life."

That was it. Kahlan was not going to take this anymore. She had to end it. If that meant injuring Richard, then so be it. Richard would gladly give up his own life if it meant that she would live. She would happily do the same for Richard. But Richard was gone, consumed by this monster. It was just her now.

"Never!" she cried and swung the sword.

Kahlan was weak and exhausted from everything that had happened, so her swing was not that forceful. But it was enough to cut his arm. Richard yelled out and pulled back, shocked. His red eyes grew wide and he looked down at his arm in amazement and horror. Kahlan narrowed her eyes, absorbing the reaction for future thought. Then it struck her and she smiled triumphantly.

"You've never felt pain before?" she demanded.

The red eyes locked on her and Richard slowly began to back away. "No… not like this, not in the physical way you solids feel pain," he said, cradling his arm. "You did this to my spawn. You wounded it."

"Your spawn?" Kahlan questioned, then nodded, remembering the creature that attacked in conjuncture with the dark cloud. "Oh, yes, that. How did it fair?"

"It bled out and died," he answered. "You killed it."

Kahlan shrugged. "Glad I could help in your education of what it means to be a physical being," she stepped forward and pointed the blade at his face. "Now, leave Richard!"

Richard backed his head away. The muscles surrounding his eyes twitched in nervous anxiety and the terror was clear on his face. But then his brow lowered in determination and he gritted his teeth together.

"I will never give up this host," he seethed. "I have never felt more powerful in physical form than in this body. I like it here. I think I'll stay."

He made a move to run away, but Kahlan was quicker. She used her knowledge of combat to dance around him and slash at him with the Sword of Truth, cutting more gashes in him. Richard stopped and he stumbled. Kahlan noticed the red glow in his eyes began to diminish and he fell to his knees. He let out a cry and when his head looked up, she saw the warm brown eyes she had come to love. He looked around frantically and saw her. Immediately tears welled up in his golden brown orbs and he began to sob.

"Oh, Kahlan," he gasped, and it was Richard's voice! "Forgive me, I fought. Spirits, you have to believe me… I tried to stop it! Oh my… Kahlan… Kahlan…" he shuddered and he closed his eyes and screamed, bringing his hands up to his head and gripping it tightly.

Kahlan collapsed down beside him, holding the sword slightly to the side, so she wouldn't hurt him. With her other hand she tried to steady and sooth him, telling him that she believed him, that she knew he would never do anything intentionally to hurt her. That what had happened was not his fault. She could tell the strain of fighting the monster within him was becoming too much to bear. His skin was visibly paler, and dark shadows were forming beneath his eyes. When he looked back up at her, the red glow was starting to return.

"Kahlan," he murmured. "It's the sword. It fears the sword."

Kahlan moved the sword closer and gasped when it began to glow. Richard shook and he hugged himself, his eyebrows lowering as his brow creased.

"Richard… oh Richard," Kahlan ran her free hand down his face, helping him to look at her. "What do I do?"

Richard's eyes darted around as his mind thought. When his eyes returned to hers she did not like what she saw there. He had decided upon something that he knew she was not going to like. She bit her lower lip and waited for him to ask.

"Kahlan," he broached, his face trembling with the strength it took him to retain control of his body as the chaos within tried to consume him once more. "I… I need you to do something. You're… you… you're not going to like it, but you have to do it. No… not just to save yourself… but… but to save me."

"What Richard? What?" Kahlan was having difficulty holding back her own tears at the dreaded ideas of what he was going to demand of her.

Richard looked at her with his warm brown eyes and she saw all the love and carrying he had for her reflected in that gaze. He gave her a weak sad smile and opened his mouth.

"Kill me."

"Richard, no! I can't do that!" Kahlan objected, her voice near a shrill.

Richard groaned and clutched his middle. "It's winning, Kahlan," he cried. "Spirits know I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you, to marry you and have children with you… but Kahlan… damn it, right now I'm losing you. If you don't do as I say… then I'll be lost forever to this damnable thing."

Kahlan sat back and shook her head, not wanting to believe a word of it. "There has to be another way, there has too!" she pleaded in a wail as tears ran down her face.

"NO! THERE'S NOT!" Richard shouted, grabbing her wrist. He moved and pushed his chest out bare before her. He was so weak and vulnerable; Kahlan felt all the worse knowing that he was right. "DO IT!"

Her mouth dropped open and she let the dismay and misery of what she was about to do envelop her being like a cloak. She was going to have to kill Richard with the Sword of Truth to free his soul of the monster… of this chaos that had taken him from her. Kahlan positioned the point of the blade above his heart and sobbed, looking away.

"Kahlan…?" he called in that soft voice of his.

She sniffled and raised her eyes to look into his.

"I love you," he whispered.

And then, before she could say or do anything, his hands came out and wrapped around hers, pulling them forward as he plunged the glowing sword into his chest.