Chapter 20 – Have A Little Faith In Me
Author's Note: Hello amazing readers! I was so grateful to see so many familiar names in the reviews, and thank you all for your kind words, I hope that the chapters I'm working on will live up to your expectations and provide you with at least a few Spemily feels :) Hopefully I did a better job getting this chapter up quickly than I have in the past ;)
This chapter is from Emily's POV. I'm building up to it, but expect some of the major story arcs to be included soon (aka Dollhouse, Charles, Mona, etc). Let me know if there is anything you all would like to see more/less/some of in future chapters. Also, a little more cursing in this one, sorry about that… All mistakes are my own.
P.S. – Thanks again for reading, you all have no idea how much of a difference seeing one of your reviews can do for my day :) Cheers!
Disclaimer: None of the characters or story lines from Pretty Little Liars are mine. If they were, it would be one big Spemily story.
Keeping my hands off of Spencer was proving to be a lot more difficult that I had anticipated.
We had woken up entirely entwined, which led to Hanna making a number of lewd remarks and Spencer getting uncharacteristically flustered. It was adorable. The presence of our very awake mothers led to a quick separation, but I kept somehow managing to maintain contact anyway; taking her hand as we walked down the hallway, placing a chaste kiss on her cheek when we separated to get ready for the day, running my fingers lightly along her neck as we spoke to the four mothers about the plans for the day. I really couldn't stop.
"You keep doing that, and I can't be held responsible for my actions, even with our mothers present," Spencer whispered hoarsely in my ear, her hand coming to rest on my own, stalling it from stroking the bare skin of her knee and lower thigh.
It was just Spencer and me in the car with our mothers on the way to The Brew. Hanna and Aria were following with their mothers in Mrs. Montgomery's car. We had all decided to grab breakfast and coffee before making the harrowing journey to the Rosewood Police Department headquarters. I, for one, definitely needed the caffeine boost before talking to more asshole cops, Toby not included of course.
"That doesn't really make me want to stop, Spence," I whispered suggestively into her ear on impulse, blushing with embarrassment as I realized it was actually true.
I was certain that woman was going to be the death of me someday.
Spencer swiftly turned to face me, planting a hungry kiss solidly on my lips before pulling away, leaving me panting slightly. The self-satisfied smirk on her face did nothing to quench the flames that were consuming me.
A clearing of someone's throat from the front seat did that quickly enough though.
"Seriously, Spencer, you're acting like a horny teenage boy," Mrs. Hastings laughed good-naturedly from the driver's seat, rolling her eyes playfully at us in the rearview mirror.
"It's not my fault Emily is so sexy," Spence muttered under her breath, probably not even meaning for our mothers to hear, but making me grin ear to ear.
"That's her father's fault, I have no hand in that," my mom added with a loud chuckle and inspiring the same in the rest of us as well, lightening up the tense atmosphere considerably.
"Somehow I don't believe that for a second, Mrs. Fields," Spencer teased, earning another belly laugh from my mom.
"My girlfriend, the charmer," I added playfully, kissing Spence on the cheek with a wink, a smile still firmly on my face, threatening to become frozen in place, forever.
Spencer turned to me quickly at that, a joyful but slightly mischievous glint in her eye.
"Girlfriend, huh?" She asked mock-thoughtfully while I just dumbly nodded my head, not really thinking about the fact that we hadn't actually brought up the topic of labels. "I kinda like it…"
With that, she kissed me again, biting playfully on my lower lip before pulling away.
It took a moment for me to be able to form a coherent thought again.
"Well that's good," I responded finally, still a little out of breath. "I didn't really want to have to refer to you as 'my honey-bear' to everyone we meet…"
"Yeah, as much as I love you, Em, that is so not happening," Spence laughed, grinning at me in a way that had me more than a little weak in the knees, even sitting down.
Our eyes caught, and I shivered as Spencer traced the lines on my palm with her fingertips, wanting nothing more than to kiss her again.
"Alright, my two charmers, you can stare at each other in The Brew over some breakfast. Let's go," Mrs. Hastings admonished with a chuckle, parking with a bit more of a jolt than was strictly necessary.
My mom just laughed, as Spencer and I blushed and moved as quickly as we could out of the car and into the coffee shop.
Hanna and Aria, along with their moms, joined us not long after we had ordered and sat down. Caleb was quick to follow. The dark silhouettes of police officers standing guard outside only served to make us all tense rather than secure, and I couldn't help scooting closer to Spencer when I saw Lieutenant Tanner walk by, presumably on her way to the precinct. Spence just squeezed my hand tightly, her own shaking slightly, no doubt reliving the intense questioning she had undergone not so long ago.
Breakfast was a fairly quiet affair, none of us really knowing what to say after Mrs. Hastings advised us on what we should and should not share with Rosewood PD. Keeping everything straight was not going to be easy, and we wanted nothing more than for the upcoming interrogations to be done and over with.
"Mom, is there any way we can make sure that Detective Holbrooke isn't the one who talks to Emily? Even with Mrs. Fields there, I don't exactly feel comfortable with him being the one in the room with Em after what he said the other day," Spencer inquired softly, obviously not intending for me to hear her, but doing a pretty bad job of whispering considering how close we were sitting.
"Why was Holbrooke talking about me? What did he say?" I asked before Mrs. Hastings could reply, scooting even closer to Spencer and squeezing her hand tightly.
From what I could remember, I hadn't really had any truly significant one-on-one encounters with the man. He had seemed to take a bit of an interest in Hanna, but not me that I was aware of, so I couldn't figure out why exactly Spencer was so worried about him being the one to question me.
"I'll make sure he doesn't go anywhere near her, Spencer, I promise," Mrs. Hastings assured both of us, pulling her daughter into a side hug before looking over Spencer's head at me. "Detective Holbrooke was rather unhinged when he and Lieutenant Tanner were questioning Spencer the other day. He got frustrated when Spence wouldn't give him anything and started spouting vague threats about pressuring you in particular to tell them the truth. I'm honestly glad that I walked in when I did, or Spencer probably would have found a way to throttle him even with the handcuffs on."
"You didn't tell me any of this, Spencer… Why would you keep it from me? I thought we were done lying to each other?" I questioned quietly, a soft catch in my throat blurring my words together a bit.
Holbrooke didn't really scare me all that much. After dealing with Wilden, corrupt and insane cops were something we had had to learn to deal with in the era of A. It was Spencer's silence on the subject that hurt and frightened me.
"I'm sorry, Em. I didn't mean to not tell you, but I found out about Mona right after I got out and we haven't really had a moment to ourselves ever since. I had intended to tell you everything, but I just got caught up in the moment and it slipped my mind. I'm sorry, please don't be upset, baby," Spence explained, looking at me with the biggest puppy-dog eyes I had ever seen.
I was so whipped.
"Spence, stop, I'm not upset. I mean, I wish you had told me earlier, but I get it. You just have to stop trying to protect me from everything all the time. I'm not glass; I'm not going to break," I stated firmly, holding her chin up with my right hand to ensure she was paying full attention. "So, if Holbrooke wants to ask me some questions, bring it on. We handled Wilden and we've been dealing with A for years, one disgruntled, pervy cop is nothing I can't handle. Plus, my mom will be there. If he's insane enough to actually try anything, you can bet your ass Pam Fields will lay a smack down on his sorry butt that will leave his head spinning for weeks."
I couldn't help but grin widely at my mom as I finished my speech, knowing damn well that she would kill the idiot before she let anything happen to me.
Spencer didn't look convinced.
"As badass as your mom is, sorry for the language Mrs. Fields, I still don't feel safe letting you be in a room with that creep. The way he was going at me in the interrogation they put me through… He's not just a little creepy, or pervy, or whatever Wilden was. Em, this guy has seriously gone off the deep end," she tried to explain, looking to her mom for help when she realized nothing she was saying was changing my mind.
Taking a deep breath to calm myself a bit, I knelt down in front of her, needing Spence to understand where I was coming from, needing her to trust me.
"Babe, listen to me. I know you want to protect me, I want to do the same for you, but we both know that this could be an opportunity for us. If Holbrooke is as out of control as you say he is, then he's very likely to screw up and let something slip. The more information we can get about the police's investigation, the better. Let's face it, he sees me as the innocent and naïve one, just like everyone else, which gives me the distinct advantage of being underestimated, again. Have a little faith that I can handle this one, Spence. You know better than anyone how far I am willing to go to protect the people that I care about, and how capable I am of taking care of myself while doing so," I stated quietly but strongly, squeezing her hands tightly once more in an attempt to get her to agree with me.
My mind flashed immediately to Nate as I finished speaking, and I had to steel myself against the onslaught of emotions that accompanied that particular train of thought. Not a day went by that I didn't struggle with the weight of knowing I had ended someone's life, and I doubted those feelings would ever truly disappear. Still, I also knew for certain that I could never regret my actions fully, and that I would do the same thing all over again if it meant protecting the people that I cared about.
"I actually agree with Emily on this one," my mom piped up from beside me, moving to cover both Spencer and my hands with her own as she spoke. "This Detective Holbrooke sounds like quite the piece of work, but we will be in a police station, and I won't ever leave Emily's side. Plus, you know better than most that if anyone can get her way, it's Emily."
Spencer couldn't help but giggle at my mom's final assertion, and I smacked her shoulder lightly, giggling as well. I was still in awe at how easily my mom and Spencer were still interacting, especially given my mom's often-stilted relationships with my former girlfriends. Even with Paige, she had maintained a certain distance. With Spencer though, everything was so easy and so comfortable. My mom had just up and accepted her into the family already, and I loved every second of it.
"I suppose that's true, Em is pretty irresistible, and pretty stubborn too," Spence agreed, sticking her tongue out playfully, a mischievous sparkle lighting up her eyes again.
My desire to kiss her was getting a little out of control, so I leaned back a little, smiling at her but also creating a bit of distance. The more time that passed, the harder it was for me to control myself around her, and it was not exactly the time or place for me to express that.
"It's decided then. We will let Holbrooke be the one to interview me," I stated firmly, not allowing any room for argument from anyone involved.
Spencer just nodded her head, not looking at all happy about the decision, but not trying to fight it anymore either.
We all left soon after that discussion, knowing we couldn't put off going to the station for much longer without arousing suspicion. As soon as we entered the building, over-eager detectives separated us. Ushered away quickly by Detective Holbrooke, who definitely had a strange glint in his eye, I was barely able to give Spencer's hand a tight, reassuring squeeze before she was out of reach.
I suddenly felt cold and frightened without her there to lean on.
Holbrooke eagerly led my mom and I into a dim interrogation room, claiming that all of the normal interview rooms were in use. That was obviously a lie, and it didn't even seem like he was trying to hide it. He was clearly attempting to intimidate us, but I was not about to allow that to happen.
Someone much scarier had been stalking and tormenting us for years; this douche bag was nothing in comparison.
"Please," the detective offered with false politeness, motioning to the chairs in front of the table as he wordlessly asked us to take a seat.
We did as he asked, but I took my time about it, making it clear that I was not about to jump at his orders. Holbrooke watched us intently as we sat, waiting until we were settled before taking his own chair.
Then he just stared; just sat silently and stared at us.
Another attempt to intimidate us.
"I'm sorry, detective, I was under the impression we were called here to give you our statements about the attack on my daughter and her friends last night and answer any questions you may have, not enter into a childish staring contest. If we're here for the latter, I should first of all inform you that you would lose, and second of all inform you that we have much better things to be doing with our time and may as well be on our way," my mom stated dryly, looking supremely un-amused by the detective's behavior.
I told Spencer Pam Fields was a badass.
Holbrooke, for his part, did his best to try not to look surprised, and immediately broke eye contact with us. He did not seem at all pleased with this turn of events, and cleared his throat roughly before addressing us.
"I apologize. I think it is fair to say that we all had a long night. Why don't we get started?" He offered, not sincere at all in his attempt to apologize, which made my mom straighten even further in her seat, on high alert. "Now, you all had quite an eventful evening. Would you mind running me through your version of what happened, Emily?"
His voice had a sickly sweet tone that made me cringe, and his last statement was most certainly a dig, but I pretended not to notice any of it. Holbrooke's belief in my naïveté was my greatest asset in that moment, and I needed to retain it for as long as I possibly could.
"Of course, detective," I replied, grateful I had enough experience lying to actually be able to pull off the blindly-respecting-and-obeying-authority tone I was going for. "Spencer, Aria, Hanna and myself had just come in from the barn behind Spencer's house. We had met up with a few friends in the aftermath of Spencer's arrest and Mona's murder because we were all pretty terrified and didn't want to be alone. After talking for a while, everyone else went home, and the four of us went inside to talk to our moms about what we thought was going on. They sent us upstairs to get some rest eventually, and while we were getting ready for bed, that arrow just came flying through the window out of nowhere. Hanna was down from the shattering of the glass since she was right next to the window when it happened, and it took me a moment to realize that Spencer had been grazed pretty severely on her neck. After that, it was panic, and I had a hard time following what happened until the police got there. I think I was probably in shock, and I was too focused on making sure Spencer was okay to really notice anything else."
My mom squeezed my hand under the table reassuringly, and I hoped that meant I had done well. Playing clueless and mildly stupid was a little more difficult than I had originally anticipated.
Holbrooke sat silently for a few moments, scribbling furiously in his notebook without even glancing up to acknowledge that I had said anything. After a good ten minutes of this, my mom cleared her throat, obviously fed up with the detective's scare tactics.
"And what exactly is it that you four young ladies think is going on?" He finally asked, drawing out each syllable to sound as condescending as humanly possible even while taking the bait I had so obviously laid out for him.
My fists clenched tightly under the table on reflex, so tightly I would not have been surprised at all if my fingernails drew blood. I was boiling with anger, and I was so, so close to losing my composure and jeopardizing everything that I could taste the tang of failure on my tongue. Thankfully, my mom took both my hands in hers and tightened her hold, silently encouraging me to calm down and continue.
It was out best chance. It was Spencer's best chance.
So I told him everything we had agreed upon. I explained how A's game had continued after Mona went to Radley. I talked about the text messages, the emails, and the handwritten threats that had been tossed our way almost every day of our lives for the past few years. I explained Ali's involvement in a few of the things that had happened thus far. It probably took me a good forty-five minutes to an hour to tell the story start to finish, and Holbrooke was scribbling in his notebook the whole time.
My mom never let go of my hands.
Of course, there were a lot of things I left out. I never mentioned Toby or Spencer's involvement with A while they were trying to find out more about the game. Ezra, Shana, and Ravenswood were left out of the story completely because they were so difficult to explain without entering dangerous waters. I avoided any and all discussion of our suspicions that Ali could be somehow involved with A, and I made sure to avoid discussing Mike's relationship with Mona because we all agreed not to get him involved if at all possible.
"So that's your story and you're sticking to it, huh?" Detective Holbrooke demanded mockingly, lips curling rather sadistically as he chuckled at me.
"I'm sorry?" I asked as innocently as possible, questioning his tone rather than his specific choice of words.
Holbrooke just leered at me for a long moment before laughing again.
"You four are pieces of work, you know that?" He stated more than questioned; sounding equally confused and pissed off. "We find evidence of just one of the, no doubt, many times that you all have broken the law, albeit one of the more serious of your infractions given that one of you murdered someone, and you come up with this bullshit story? Are you girls even physically capable of telling the truth?"
He slammed his hand down hard on the table, making me jump as the sound reverberated around the room. My mom was on her feet almost instantaneously.
"You will watch yourself when you are speaking to my daughter, detective," she stated loudly, mocking the man's title soundly before continuing. "Emily just explained to you that she and her friends have been tormented and stalked by a masked psychopath who is actively suspected of more than one murder. You are a police officer, and as such you are duty bound to protect these girls and look into the matter, regardless of whether or not they fit into your ignorant, bullshit preconceived notions of reality."
Holbrooke had the audacity to laugh in my mother's face, bringing me to my feet as well.
"Oh no, did I upset mommy dearest?" He mocked in a childlike voice before turning deadly serious. "I don't know if you're in league with them or just really fucking stupid, Mrs. Fields, but I'm hoping for your sake that it's the latter. We have evidence that your daughter's girlfriend killed poor Bethany in cold blood to please her Queen Bee, Alison, while Spencer was out of her pathetic mind on drugs. We have reason to believe that Hanna, Aria, and Emily all knew about it and helped their BFF clean up her mess and lie to the cops about it. There is new evidence that it was a teenage girl who killed Mona Vanderwaal. I have no doubt that your daughter and her friends had a hand in that as well. Now they're making up elaborate stories so people will feel bad for them, will see them as the victims. Well I am not fucking buying it! So sit your asses back in your chairs and we will have a real discussion, just a cop and a suspect."
I finally lost my cool. I had what I needed; there was no reason to play nice anymore.
"A real discussion? Kind of like the ones you had with Hanna, an underage high school student, when you were flirting with her over shitty crime novels? Could you be more cliché?" I bit out as calmly as I could, refusing to sit back down and keeping my mom on her feet as well.
"So young, and so stupid," Holbrooke mocked, smirking at me. "That was police work, you idiot child."
Glaring at him harshly, I sent him a smirk of my own.
"That was harassment, among other more unsavory things, you deranged, arrogant, entitled, narcissistic son of a bitch. I have no idea what you have against my friends and me, whether it's just us or teenage girls in general, but this sick obsession you have has gone way overboard. My mom, along with Mrs. Hastings, will be petitioning to have you removed from this case pending an internal review of your behavior, particularly your less than professional interactions with Hanna and your absurd and excessive use of force on a clearly unresisting Spencer when you arrested her on the basis of purely circumstantial evidence. If there is anything my friends and I do not need in our lives right now, it is a creepy, obsessive, dangerous stalker cop with some trumped up vendetta believing he has the right to invade our lives and make us feel unsafe. Now, since neither my mother nor I are under arrest, and as such are free to go, we will leave you with your conspiracy theories and find a real police officer to talk to about this real case that threatened our lives last night."
Holbrooke's eyes were wide with surprise, as were my mother's. Not wanting to spend another second in that room with that psychopath, I tugged on my mom's arm, pulling her with me toward the door. The detective started stuttering as we moved away from him, completely red in the face in his own humiliation and not making any sense until I was already out the door and my mom was halfway there.
"You can't just walk out! This is an official police interrogation! I can have you arrested for obstructing an official police investigation!" He threatened, becoming more and more frustrated as we moved further and further away from him, causing him to finally yell down the hallway after us in full view of the rest of the department. "You cannot walk out of this building without my express permission! Get back here!"
I wanted to turn around and jump down his throat again, but my mom beat me to it.
"Watch us, you arrogant prick!" She shouted, grabbing my arm and marching us straight out of the building, not even noticing when the rest of our group followed quickly after us from where they had been sitting in the waiting room.
It was not until we had walked a full three blocks away from the police station that my mom finally slowed down and let go of my arm, turning when she heard Mrs. Hastings call out from behind us.
"Pam, what happened? Are you two alright?" Spencer's mom demanded as soon as she caught up with us, a little out of breath after practically running after us in a pair of fairly decent-sized heels, Spencer not far behind.
Spence didn't say a word, but pulled me into a tight embrace as the rest of the group caught up. I held onto her tightly, trying to lessen the trembling that had overtaken my body as soon as I had finished telling Detective Holbrooke where to shove it.
I was certain I had used up all of my courage to spew those words in the detective's face, and all that was left of me was a shaky, mumbling, terrified mess.
"You promise me that we are going to get that motherfucker fired, Veronica," my mom ordered, anger seeming to seep from her every pore as she stared Mrs. Hastings down.
Aria actually flinched at the sight.
"Count on it," Spencer's mom agreed firmly in her no-nonsense lawyer voice that usually scared the pants off of anyone within a five-mile radius.
She and my mom shook hands in agreement, and then turned to the rest of us with a frightening glint in their eyes.
"Time to make a plan! Let's go, girls," Mrs. Montgomery added almost jovially, high-fiving my mother and Spencer's before practically running to her car, followed by everyone but Spencer and me.
"Good lord, what can of worms did we open this time?" I questioned with a groan, taking Spencer's hand in my own as we followed everyone else down the street.
"One that's a hell of a lot more dangerous than anything A could possibly throw at us, that's for sure," Spence offered with a small shrug and a chuckle, pulling me behind her as she too hurried to follow the moms, no doubt a little overly excited at the prospect of planning.
I just took a deep breath and let her lead me, hoping beyond hope that she was right, because we were in for it when A found out we had finally talked to the cops.