Chapter XX

…

He was ruining my life with or without intentionally doing so. That was what Peeta Mellark was doing. He was ruining my life.

Everything and anything seemed to be changing or changed or just a mess.

And to add to the "Peeta situation" as I had begun to call it, midterms had started two days ago.

So as the last few seconds of my final exam began to tick away I looked to my right to see Peeta. He looks from the clock to me and gives me a smile. And I can't help but smile back. God, what was happening to me? I was- he was- we were-

Peeta was changing things. He was causing… something. When he smiles at me or whispered something corny during class or kissed me there was- there was this spark inside me. It was like the spark be had caused before. It felt like bliss, earning, joy. And I was becoming… addicted to that spark. It was slowly growing inside me, like it was fire catching.

And Friday was just as worse. After that night, I couldn't help but think about what it would have been like to have gone further. Would it have been the same? Or would it be a spark of fire and then an unstoppable flame?

But I suppose I wouldn't know, at least not for now. Peeta's words still rung in my head, Not like this.

What did that mean? Not in the car, at the school? Did he want to? Did he think-

My mind rambles only to be cut off by the bell. And so snapping out of it, I stand up from my seat, strapping my bag over my shoulder and taking my exam in my hand before stepping to the front of the class. Then as I am one of the last to hand in my exam, along with Peeta, Cinna gives me a smile and tells me to have a good weekend.

Then as I walk out of the classroom, Peeta comes up beside me.

"Hey," he smiles, "Are you doing anything?"

"I have work at the hob in a few hours."

He opens his mouth then closes it. His cheeks flush and he runs his hands through his hair as he opens his mouth again, "Do want to grab something to eat with me?"

"Um, sure."

"Cool," he smiles, relieved, "It's a date."

Wait, I think, what did he just say? A date? Is that what he said? A date? He was asking me out on a date? What?

I stop and he turns to me. "You okay?"

"A date?"

He looks at me, taking in my stance. Then when relieving his words effect, he takes it back, flushing red. "Oh um, it doesn't have to be a date. It can be whatever you want it to be. A date or friends or ah, whatever you want it to be."

I stare at him. His cheeks are flushed a light shade of scarlet. His head is slightly facing down so he wasn't looking me in the eyes. His hand was on the back of his neck nervously running along his hair line.

Did Peeta like me?

Internally laughing at the thought I can't help, but see how sill it is. Peeta, Peeta of all people liking someone like me, me. Anyone in generally liking me was just a ridiculous thought. Peeta Mellark liking me. Ha, right?

And so in a hesitant tone I say, ask, "Friends."

…

Sitting on the brown leather couch at the bakery Mr. Mellark comes from out the kitchen with two plates and two bottled waters in hand. At the sight of him Peeta immediately gets up to retrieve the food.

I mouth a thank you to Mr. Mellark and he gives me a smile in return before stepping back through the door to the kitchen.

"Here ya go," Peeta says handing me a water and a spinach and cheese sandwich on a warm cheese bun.

I give him a smile uttering, "Thanks."

He gives me a smile, sitting back down beside me. He sets his water beside mine on the coffee table followed by taking a bite of his turkey and cheese on wheat.

And as we eat, people come in and out of the bakery. Some order cakes or loaves of bread. Others stare at the cakes in the display case or look at the ones in the binder they have on the counter for order. Some get meals to go and others sit down like Peeta and I.

It's when a group of girls comes into the bakery, taking a seat at the table near the window that Jill Koller walks over toward us. She comes over standing in front of Peeta in her skinny jeans and deep, deep v-neck. She gives him an innocent smile showing off her glossy white teeth, "Heyyy Peeta."

Peeta looks up from his sandwich, swallowing what he had been chewing. "Oh um, hey Jill."

Then looking to me she gave me a snide look before asking Peeta. "You doing anything this Saturday?"

"Um," he says looking to me, "Um, I'm working the bakery all day."

"What about at night," she smiles.

"I- I um," he thinks, "Finn and I are hanging out, video games and shit."

"You should cancel," she smiles again, "We could have some fun."

"Oh um, I can't," he tells her, glancing at me, "I've been putting Finn off for weeks. I can't cancel on him again." He forces a laugh, "You know how childish he becomes when he doesn't get what he wants."

She snorts rolling her eyes. "Whatever, your loss."

Peeta nods his head and if she was expecting Peeta to change his mind at her response, but he doesn't. So to her dismay she shakes her head, letting out another snort before muttering some nonsense about it being Peeta's lost as she walks back to her friends.

Peeta lets out a breath when she's gone. "I can't stand her."

"Didn't you date her?" I ask looking to him confused.

He bows his head in shame. "Not one of my brightest decisions in life."

Holding back a laugh, I take a bite of my sandwich.

We fall back to how we were before Jill had come over, eating and making small "talk" till Peeta asked, "Are you dating Gale Hawthorne?"

"What?" I say, nearly spitting out my sandwich.

"Eh, ah, shit," he says, "I shouldn't have said that, don't answer that, that was inappropriate…"

He rambles on about his stupidity and immaturity till I cut him off with a, "No."

His lips form an "o," but he quickly brushes it off. "That's cool. I mean it'd be cool if you were dating him too… It's cool if you like him, he's cool. It's cool if you don't like anyone, you don't have to… You- you. Its coo- yeah."

He shuts up and that's it. We eat in silence and after an hour I leave for the Hob. Yet my mind still mauling over his words and the meaning behind them.

Did Peeta like me? Was that even a possibility? Maybe? Wait, no. Right? Why would he? I was me and he was he. Why like someone who was your complete opposites? We weren't magnets; real relationships didn't work that wait, right? Sure we did spend most of our time together and we did kiss and shit, but he would like me? Me? Damaged weird me? Possibly, maybe, yes?

…

"How were the terms," Thom asks as he hands me a chicken tender off of one of the plates he had just made up.

I shrug my shoulder.

He snorts, "Oh don't be that kid, everyone knows you aced them."

I shrug my shoulder taking a bite of the chicken. He just shakes his head, flipping the burgers on the grill.

"So Mellark?"

My head jerks up to look at him. What?

He gives me a smirk, pleased. "So there is something going on with you and Mellark-"

"No." I say too quickly.

"Mh hmm," he hums still smiling, "That's why Gales always asking about you and him, right?"

I swallow the bite of chicken I had been chewing. "What? Gale has been asking about me?"

He shakes his head, walking over to the window and placing the platters for table five ready for pick up. Then walking back to the grill he tells me, "You're hopeless."

"Thom." I warn.

"Of course he asks about you Kat. Did you think he didn't? I mean god, the guy loves you." He flips two burgers off the grill and onto two plates, "You didn't think he'd keep tabs on you?"

And I didn't think. I just assume after what happened that was it for us. So shaking my head, I stay silent and tear last piece of the chicken off and pop it into my mouth.

Thom shakes his head as he piles some fries onto the two plates in front of him. "Kat I know you guys may not gotten along in a while or whatever shit happened between you guys, but you have to know he wasn't just going to let go of you."

I nod my head. He was right, Gale would never just let go. He was too stubborn. He was too much like me. We had been friends for far too long and even though we fucked ourselves up, it wouldn't end. For it to end it had to be something much worse between us. And I suppose Gale wasn't the only one keeping tabs. There was the Christmas gift I had left and the small, overlooked question I would ask the kids when I went over to visit when Hazel and he weren't there.

"And for Mellark," Thom said as he set the next set of platter in the service window, "in some ways he's no different from Gale."

He was no different from Gale...

What the fuck did that mean?