20 Questions
A/N So I needed some inspiration so I re-watched season 3 episode 1 and this is a tag to that episode. R&R! Review please! And prompts are greatly appreciated!
Emily opened the door to her apartment, her head hurting like hell from the UnSub hitting her with that block of wood. She rubbed her head and wandered over towards her window, which overlooked the city. She looked out at the lights and wondered how such terrible things could happen in something that looked so beautiful from far enough away. She wondered why, after everything she had seen, all her difficult, painful, and downright shitty jobs, why this job was different? Why she missed it and was so glad to be back, even with everything they saw everyday?
She knew the team was a close knit family, and she knew they didn't accept strangers right away. But she hoped that she proved, to Hotch at least, that she was worthy of being part of that family. That she'd rather quit then ruin what the team already had. She knew they didn't completely trust her, but she wanted this job more than anything. She was actually helping people. She may have still been profiling, but at least she wasn't sleeping with killers to do it. Besides, she was good at profiling. And with this job, it saved lives. And that was something she was proud of.
She slowly made her way towards her kitchen, and popped open a bottle of wine, considering she couldn't sleep with her minor concussion. As she poured her wine, she hoped that this job would be it. It would be the one that she could keep, without leaving her too damaged, and she hoped she could truly be part of the BAU family.
Hotch sighed, parking his car and walking up his front steps. He got Prentiss back, and quite possibly secured his own job, but he wasn't sure he was even going to keep it. What would Haley think? He told her it was the last case. And she told him there would always be another case. And another, and another, and another. And he ignored her because the team needed him. That was where his loyalty lied. And he was finally questioning if that was where his loyalty should lay? Wasn't he supposed to be loyal to his family first, and then his job?
But Haley didn't understand. The team was just as much his family as any blood relatives. Even Prentiss, who was still working so hard to gain everyone's trust. But he knew Haley wouldn't agree. He had a responsibility to his wife and son, and that is what he was supposed to be honoring. But it wasn't that cut and dry. Did he like playing the hero? No, he dismissed that idea immediately. He was just experienced-the team needed his assistance.
He sighed again and unlocked the front door. He stepped through the threshold. "Haley?" he called quietly. But she didn't answer. He made his way upstairs to the bedrooms, but neither Haley nor Jack were home. And he realized: He got his team and his job back, but he had already lost his wife and son. And he wasn't sure it was worth it.
Erin Strauss walked through her office door, the crime scenes still fresh in her mind. Everything was so easy and simple from behind a desk. The politics was so much easier for her to handle then being out in the field. Than seeing those dead women. She had stepped on the woman's hair. The thought made bile rise in her throat. It was horrible.
She suddenly understood the teams less than stellar protocol on their cases. Field decisions were so much harder to make then they looked on paper. Actual people's lives hung in the balance. And after stepping in the shoes of the BAU members, she had a greater respect for them, and everything they did. She had no right to be questioning Hotch's field decisions now that she had seen how everything really goes down. She wondered how they did it? How they dealt with everything? Here she was all choked up after one case, and they did this every day. Especially the young ones- Agents Jareau and Reid. They were so young for their positions and what they dealt with. And while she would never admit it, she admired the whole team.
She once again thought back to those crime scenes, and the thoughts made her want to vomit. The pictures wouldn't leave her mind, and the victims mangled bodies floated through her head. She reaches into the bottom drawer of her desk and pulled out a bottle of alcohol. She didn't look at the kind, just that it was strong. So she poured herself a glass and tried to get the haunting images out of her mind.
Spencer was getting worried. It wasn't like Gideon to just not show up for work, or for their chess matches. Even if he had just been through trauma. Spencer realized that Gideon was probably fine, just emotionally unprepared to come back, but he had to check on Gideon anyway. He knew he just wouldn't feel right until he made sure.
Reid got into his car and started off towards Gideon's cabin, as that was where Hotch said Gideon would likely be. Two hours later, Spencer arrived at the cabin. He pulled out his flashlight and made sure his gun was loaded and attached to his belt. Spencer knocked on the door, but no one answered. He tried the knob. It was open. The cabin was mostly empty, and his heart dropped when he saw what was on the table.
Gideon's badge and gun, and an envelope. He should have known. Gideon had left, and he wasn't coming back. Reid understood why, of course, but it didn't make it hurt any less. He looked at the envelope. It had his name on it. He curiously opened it, and read Gideon's goodbyes. He was really leaving. This was it. The letter explained everything: the job was just to hard, he couldn't stay now that Sara was gone... Reid understood why Gideon had to leave... He just didn't want him to. He felt tears unwillingly roll down his face. His mentor and friend left.
Reid numbly picked up the letter, the gun and badge and went back to his car. He just sat there for a moment, before starting the engine. Hoping that the job didn't get to him like it got to Gideon. And wondering how he was going to tell the team what happened. As he drove away from the cabin, his mind was filled with questions but somehow he knew he wasn't the only one with questions that night.