Chapter 20
Alice pulled Carlisle aside when Esme made her way to Caleb. He glanced up and saw her hug both him and Delilah at the same time, placing kisses lightly on both of their foreheads. His heart ached from the pain she was already experiencing. Just a few short hours before she was on top of the world.
"What if we all just scatter?" Carlisle asked, "Go our separate ways and meet up at a mutual place."
"They're very determined," Alice said, "They won't stop, even if they didn't get what they wanted immediately, they would return soon after, or pursuit us right away again."
He sighed and looked down.
"If we don't do this," she whispered, "It'll cost more than just our lives... Emmett... William... Garrett..." Her voice was low, "Nicole told me she had seen all of that, on top of you and I."
"I know," Carlisle said with a nod, "It's not me I'm worried about. It's Esme... and you, Jasper, all the kids."
Alice put a finger up to her lips and Carlisle discontinued their conversation.
"Will she be okay?" he asked as quietly as he could.
She looked up to him and nodded very slowly and subtly.
Esme began to sob as she held Caleb, cradling his head close to her as they stood.
"Mom," he said calmly, "Nicole said things are going to be alright."
Carlisle couldn't take his eyes off of them. The moment was killing him, to see his family so distraught. He knew things wouldn't get better in the immediate future, or for a long time.
Alice pulled Carlisle in for a hug, seeing the look on his face. He hugged her back, still unable to take his eyes off his wife and son. When she let him go, she dried a few tears from his eyes before making her way to find Jasper without another word.
Carlisle let them have their moment and wandered down the long corridor with his hands in his pockets, eventually finding himself in his office. Of all the people in the house, he didn't pass another person. He was completely alone for several minutes until Alex made her way in to see him.
"Nothing's going to happen to you, or Mom or any of us," she told him, shaking her head, "Emmett already called Garrett and Kate. Their whole family is coming. I'm sure the Volturi won't be expecting that."
Carlisle nodded, wanting to give his daughter the impression that things would be alright. He didn't have the heart to rattle off the possibilities as Alice had done for him. Neither of them said anything until Alex made her way around his desk and wrapped her arms around him. She began to cry and the two of them stood there for several minutes. He felt his heart breaking, knowing what was to come; the images Alice had described would be far more emotional than what they were experiencing now.
"Alice has said that Michael will be fine," he told her, attempting to make her feel better, "In every single scenario."
Alex nodded. "Masen's coming."
"I know."
"If he's here, and if Caleb's here, they can heal everyone... and each other if need be. Right? How can we even lose?"
Carlisle pulled her back so she looked at him, "You're right Alex. You're absolutely right."
She looked up into her father's watery eyes, and knew the answer was far too simple. She knew that if he believed what she was saying he wouldn't have the tears in his eyes that were waiting to drop. Alex didn't want to ask him why. She wanted to go with the response he gave, regardless if neither of them believed it.
"Whatever happens," he told her, "Don't lose who you are. Don't let hate, or anger, guide your decisions in the future Alex."
Her eyes met his, and she shook her head, but agreed. "Okay."
Carlisle smiled and hugged his daughter again as she continued her bout of sobs. "Stay with Michael," he whispered, "Try your best to stay by his side."
"Okay," she choked out again. "Why does this feel different Dad? Everyone's been saying it. Michael said it."
He sighed, though didn't have an answer.
"Is the baby going to be okay?" she asked him.
"Yeah," he said quietly. "He won't be born until after it's over."
"He?" she asked, pulling back, wiping her eyes as she did. Mascara decorated the area under her eyes and the front of Carlisle's shirt.
Carlisle turned his mouth up in a half smile and nodded, "Yeah."
"Does Mom know?"
"No," he said shaking his head, "And she had told me once before that she wants it to be a surprise. Alice let it slip when we were talking."
Alex smiled and laughed, but cried at the same time. "Are you excited?"
"I would have been happy either way," he told her, "Boy or girl. I was hoping maybe you'd get a sister so the score was even, two boys, two girls."
She laughed, "The boys keep me tough."
Carlisle laughed back, "They sure do."
Alex let her laughter die down and she sighed heavily. She ran her hands under her eyes and realized her make-up was everywhere. "I'm just going to go wash my face," she told him.
He nodded and hugged her once more, kissing her forehead as Esme had done with Caleb.
"I love you," she told him.
"I love you too."
Alex walked slowly out of his office and Carlisle stood with his hands flat on the desk, looking down. He didn't know what to do. He knew their time leading up to that day would be full of sadness, dismay, preparation and anger. It was a mindset he hated to wrap himself in, but he knew it was necessary and inevitable. They had to all harden on the outside, and the inside in order to get through what was to come.
He closed his eyes and stood in silence, focusing at first on his thoughts and then just listening to the clock tick. Each second that ticked by was a second closer to the day when things would change. Things would change for their family, at least for awhile.
Carlisle was so wrapped in his own mind that he was surprised, but didn't stir, when he felt Esme's hand touch his on top of the desk. He looked up and the two of them just stared at each other for a moment, before he spoke.
"I'm sorry, Esme," he said without breaking his stare, "I'm... I'm sorry."
She squeezed his hand and leaned across the desk, kissing him once. He kept his eyes open as she did, watching hers close for less than a second before she reopened them and took her lips away from his.
"Is something going to happen to you?" she asked him.
Carlisle wasn't completely taken off-guard, but he didn't know how to answer. "I don't know," he said. "But in all scenarios, you're going to be fine."
"What about you?" she asked him again, "What's going to happen?"
"Nicole could only give some of it," he explained, "But regardless-"
Esme looked over her shoulder and went to shut the door, making him stop mid-sentence. She returned, still on the opposite side of his desk. "I can't do this without you, Carlisle," she whispered as quietly as possible.
Carlisle felt his eyes begin to go against the wishes of his brain and tears fell from his eyes again.
"Something's wrong and you can't tell me," she told him, crying silently too, as she spoke. "I've never seen you like this."
He wasn't sure what to say, as he took in a deep breath, unable to look away from her eyes. "You just have to trust me."
Esme cried a little harder, "What does that mean?" she asked, "I do. I honestly do, I just want to know the rest of it."
Carlisle rounded the desk and pulled her against him, kissing her with a hard urgency two or three times in a row. "I'm sorry," he told her again.
She decided not to keep pushing, despite how terribly she wanted to. She wanted to get every detail he had been told that he hadn't shared with her. Esme trusted him that it was for her own good, but the thought made her feel worse. The fact that he was leaving something out let her know that it was something that would hurt her deeply. Carlisle didn't have it in him to hurt her, and she knew that.
"The baby..." she asked.
"The baby will be fine," he told her.
Esme sighed and Carlisle pulled her in, feeling the baby's movement against his own mid-section.
"I hope she's not going to be effected by all this," Esme said, "My negative emotions. The attack."
Carlisle wanted to tell her that the baby was a boy, but he didn't. He wanted Esme to find out the way she had already intended to. He let his hand drift beneath her shirt, as he'd done a countless number of times since realizing they were going to have another child. The baby moved where ever he placed his hand and Esme smiled, letting it only stand on her face for a split second.
"Would you tell me if I had to do this on my own?" she asked him, referring to raising the child.
He wanted to tell her everything he knew at that moment, regardless of the consequences. Carlisle was always honest with Esme, especially in regards to serious situations.
"You won't have to do this on your own," he told her, keeping his hand on the side of her stomach. "You'll never have to do that."
Images of other members of their family popped into her mind. She knew he could have meant that she would never actually be alone with the company of their family. His words weren't overly convincing regarding the true nature of her question. Will you be here to do this with me?
"Try to focus on the baby," he told her softly. "Take a break from the other part of reality, and focus on this part of it. He or she will be here soon."
"I was able to earlier today," Esme told him.
Carlisle took her toward a chair in the corner of the room where they could both sit comfortably and he wrapped her in his arms. "For the next hour," he said, "This is all we'll talk about." He lifted her shirt and ran a hand across her stomach. The slightest bulge had begun to develop in the short time the child existed.
"How?" she asked, putting her hand over his.
"Let's talk names," he said, "For boys and girls."
Esme's leftover tears dropped onto his forearm. "I hadn't even thought a little bit about it," she admitted, letting out a short, emotional chuckle.
Carlisle kissed her cheek, closing his eyes and leaving his lips against her face for an extra second before pulling her just a little closer. He found himself able to smile as Esme was able to get lost, at least for a few minutes at a time, in the happiness of motherhood.