Forman Basement

1977

"Michael's cheating on me, isn't he?" he heard Jackie moan. He stayed in place at the top of the stairs. Aw no. Letting his head droop, he listened for an answer. She could be talking to herself, he thought. The princesses in movies sometimes do that. It was kind of funny imagining Jackie with her pinkies in the air, arms extended, doing a full spin down in the basement like they did, especially if she wore the kind of skirt that fluffed out like a parachute.

"Oh, would you look at that? My Luke Skywalker action figure is playing the world's smallest violin for you."

Okay, good, Kelso thought. That's Forman. If it had been Donna, or Laurie herself, the lopsided grin on his face would be torn off his face by Tornado Jackie, rushing at him with her arms and legs flailing, eyebrows risen so high they were about to blast into outer space. Minus the yelling, she was cute when she was angry, but that was just a tease. Jackie was like one of Charlie's Angels. Yeah, she was beautiful and fun…most of the time…but she could destroy him.

"Oh, really, Eric? And is the world's smallest violin bow on the other side of those skinny, cheap, tapered jeans?"

Burn! He bit down on his knuckles to avoid running down the stairs two at a time and whirling her around in his arms. This was so great! All her suspicions somehow changed into anger at Forman, unless Forman got mad enough to blow the lid off of everything. Covering his gasp with his hands, he waited for someone, anyone, to speak and join in on the sound his heart was making.

"I'll have you know this bow has played some of the finest concertos known to man…and by that I mean that I can please Donna!"

Smooth, Forman. Smooth.

"Are violin pieces concertos?" Jackie asked in a far different tone.

"I don't know. You're the rich one. Don't you know?"

"Hey, guys. What'd I miss?" Letting his arms flap as he landed the last step, he moved to the freezer and pulled out a cherry popsicle, little ice flecks still clinging to the wrapper, the perfect temperature.

"Michael! You can't eat that now! We're staying over here for dinner."

"Wait. What?" Eric's eyes bulged.

"Yeah. Your mom said we could stay for dinner and this gives Michael some extra practice in being a gentleman around people he's comfortable with. Just think—if you can graduate from the Forman table, you can finally start coming to my parents' dinner parties." She clapped her hands and batted her eyelashes at him. Damn, they were long, longer than his. He wondered if Laurie's were longer.

"Yeah, Forman. Your mom was so excited she made place cards. I'm seated across from Laurie."

"Well, gee whiz, Kelso. However will you pass the time if you're seated across from Laurie?" Eric stood and walked over to the steps. "I'm going to tell Mom she's a little confused."

"So, Jackie, now that we're alone, I figure you might like a popsicle of your own." Sliding his arm around her on the couch, he cocked his head back. He'd worked all day on that line and thought of no response other than, "ooh, of course, Michael."

"I can't believe you're going to finish eating that after I told you not to."

"But it's gonna go to waste if I don't!"

"It's a popsicle, Michael! If you put it in the freezer, it'll freeze and you can have it for dessert, unless Mrs. Forman is making dessert. If that's the case, you'll just have to come down here when it's all over."

No amount of loud music or firecrackers hurt his ears like Jackie's voice did. She was such a shrill little…what was that word? Hyde had called her a shrew, which sounded pretty bad. Forman always called her a snob, and that was right on the money if anyone bothered to ask Kelso, but she was his snob, his shrew. She bought him things and complimented him and made all the tough decisions and, in exchange, she got to take his arm and be seen with him.

"Come on, baby. It's lasagna. It won't be ready for at least twenty minutes." Leaning over her, he reached for her neck with his lips, brushing the corner of her jawbone with them instead.

"Ow! Your face is all stubbly."

"I thought you'd like a rugged look." Taking her shoulders, he guided her down until she lied on the couch with him on top of her, his legs dangling over the arm.

She's got me dizzy, she sees me through to the end
She's got me in her hands and there's no use in pretending
Christine sixteen, Christine sixteen
She drives me crazy, I want to give her all I've got
And she's hot every day and night, there is no doubt about it

It was the smell of her hair, the smell she called lilac that was driving him wild. Maybe this time it wouldn't hurt her. The first time had been so slow. She whimpered and winced and when it was all over, she didn't want to snuggle up to him like her Cosmos said she would. He thought it would get easier for her over time, but each time she acted like she didn't enjoy it at all.

"You go too fast when you wedge it in there," she said.

"I'll go extra slow."

"You always say that and it's always too fast." Pushing him off of her, she stomped up the stairs.

"Did you really have to write a card telling me to sit in the seat I always sit in?" Red swatted the place card, sending it down to the floor. "And if we're going to have a dinner party, why can't we invite people our own age? Why do we have to constantly entertain…them?" He stuck his hand in front of Jackie and Kelso.

"Because, dear. Think of it this way—Steven's not here tonight and so that only makes one extra child we would have here anyways, except Laurie who's with us for some reason tonight." Ladling out portions of lasagna onto everyone's plate, she frowned at Laurie's toothy smile. "So it's only two extra kids than we normally have around here for dinner. It means I baked more lasagna, which means more leftovers."

"Actually, Mom, Kelso's been known to inhale anything set in front of him, so I don't see any leftovers in the near future."

"He's got a point, Mrs. Forman," Kelso said. This looked great. Between himself and the little card with his name on it, a large plate of lasagna and sweetened iced tea called out his name, tugging at his stomach. Across from him, Laurie winked at him. Debating whether or not to wink back, he lurched at the sensation on his leg.

"I'm sorry, Kelso. Did I kick you?" Laurie asked, her hand flying to heart.

"Uh, it's okay. Just be more careful next time." Looking over at Jackie, she shook her head at him and placed her napkin on her lap. Still feeling Laurie's foot sliding up his leg, underneath his pant leg, he placed his napkin on his lap also, gripping the edges.

"All right, everyone," Mrs. Forman said, sitting down and lifting her glass. "Here's to friendship and camaraderie and all the wonderful things that can come of tonight."

He was going to come tonight if Laurie's foot went any higher. Scooting his chair back, he panted at the friction from the shag carpeting, catching the legs at every inch. It was hot, yeah, but Jackie was right next to him. What could Laurie be thinking? She smirked at him from across the table, leaning over the plate of garlic bread to expose her cleavage to him.

"You know, Laurie," Eric coughed, sifting his tea like it was a brandy. "I got an interesting phone call today from a man who sounded in about, his, oh, late thirties, early forties, asking for you, saying to meet him at your special place and you would know what that meant. Do you?"

"It's not polite to make up lies at the table, Eric," she snapped back, "especially when it's your friends crowding up all the space. Isn't that right, Daddy?"

It was the way she said "daddy," like any man in the world could be her daddy, that about sent him over the edge.

"I'm going to go out for a smoke," Kelso cried, knocking over the chair on his way to the front door. Just when his fingertips brushed the knob, he heard the inevitable.

"Honey, you don't smoke," Mrs. Forman said at the same time Jackie commanded, "Michael, you come back here and act like a gentleman!"

"Did I say smoke? I meant get some fresh air."

Only the porch light shone down on him, the rest of the neighborhood shrouded in a dark, misty fog. He could barely see Donna's house or any of the ones across the street. It was like something out of The Wolf Man except the real danger waited him inside, and it wasn't a man, or a wolf. Come to think of it, it wasn't like The Wolf Man at all.

"Hanging out here all by yourself?"

He yelped at Laurie's voice behind him.

"Laurie! I was just stargazing. Yeah. I hear it builds muscles."

"I see. Want to go out back and have a little fun?"

She had pulled down on the sleeves of her peasant top, exposing her shoulders just slightly. Running her fingers through her own hair, she tossed it behind her shoulder and gave him a giggle.

I don't usually say things like this to girls your age, but when I saw you
Coming out of the school that day, that day I knew, I knew, I've got to have
You, I've got to have you.
She's been around, but she's young and clean
I've got to have her, can't live without her, whoo no
Christine sixteen, Christine sixteen

"Hey, now. They're all right on the other side of the door!" His back arched at the touch of her hands on his chest.

"Oh, please. Red's taken care of. Kitty and Eric are powerless, and it would just be too pathetic for you to be afraid of that tiny little doll in there. Didn't she once tell you she thought she saw a real unicorn once? You wouldn't want me to let it slip to her that you blabbed her special moment to everyone, would you? I mean, that's as bad as cheating on her with your friend's sister."

It was the same words she said all the time, whenever he felt like backing out, but they always bit, always stung...until she kissed him and cupped his balls. She grinded against his hips.

Christine, Christine, sixteen, sixteen, Christine, yeah, yeah
Christine, Christine, sixteen, sixteen
Christine, yeah, yeah, yeah

A/N: Sigh, lust causes so much angst among teenagers...so glad I'm not one anymore. I think you'll learn a lot about our heroes in this segment. I do not own any of the Carly Simon songs, or the KISS ones, or the Billy Joel ones, or the Led Zeppelin ones, or the Aerosmith ones, or the ABBA ones. What I recommend is going on youtube or something and listening to these songs in a separate window as you read the chapter. That's what I did when I was writing and I actually felt like I was part of the 70s, that I was part of our beloved gang. Anyway, I don't own a thing, but if I do have that swing, leave a review! I know people are reading and not leaving them. You know who you are... Reviews are like a naked Hyde jumping out of a cake for most of you...wonderful to look at and even more fun to visit again and again and again.