Chapter Twenty

Saturday morning brought sunshine peaking through the shades of her bedroom. Bella stretched before rubbing her belly. The baby was active the night before and had her up. Not finding out what the sex of the baby was driving her crazy, however, she felt life was filled with so few good surprises and she wanted a happy surprise.

She wobbled downstairs and into her kitchen. She grabbed her yogurt and fruit as the phone rang. She walked over to it and answered it without looking at the caller id. "Hello?"

"I'm sorry Bella," his voice whispered over the telephone line.

"Edward, why are you calling again? You've said that all ready Edward," Bella told him as she rubbed her belly. She and the baby were both hungry and she didn't have time for interruptions.

Edward took a deep breath. "I've changed, I mean I really have. I don't want you to have to go through and raise our child by yourself. I don't want you to be alone anymore."

Dryly, Bella replied. "Fine, I'll give Jacob a call then."

"That isn't funny Bella. That's not what I mean. I'm sorry it has taken me most of your pregnancy to realize this, but I'm ready Bella."

Bella questioned him. "Ready?"

"Yes, I'm ready. I'm ready to be a father. Our baby was created out of our love for each other and deserves the love you both had to create it. We should remind the baby everyday of its life how much we both love it. I'm happy that we have created a new life together."

Tears danced off of Bella's cheeks. "Do you know what you are saying?"

"I know exactly what I am saying." Edward simply stated.

"Are you sure you want this? There is no turning back if you change your mind."

Tears were released from Edward eyes. "More than anything. I love you and I don't want to be away from you or the baby any more than I all ready have. I have wasted too much time Bells. I want to go home. I want to go home to you."

Bella began to sob but unlike so many tears she shed in the months before, she was happy. "I'm so happy to hear you say that. I want…" she was interrupted by the ringing of the door bell. "Hold on Edward, there is someone at my door." Bella ran as fast as she could to the front door. She peeked out the window and was surprised. She spotted Edward grinning on her porch. He had tears running from his eyes and down his cheek.

Just like the first night they spent together in New York, he didn't come empty handed. He held a bouquet of gerber daisies in his hand. Bella quickly opened the door. Before words can escape her mouth, Edward dropped to one knee.

"Isabella Cullen, I love you more than anything or anyone else in this world, besides our child of course." Edward reached out to Bella and rested his head on Bella's bulging belly. He pulled her close to him. "You are so beautiful, you know that?" He asked as he gave her stomach light kisses. "I miss you. I miss waking up to you every day. I miss you in my arms at night before I fall asleep and in the morning before I start my day. I don't want to be like that again. I want you at my side for the rest of my life. You and the baby are my life now. Marry me Bella. Marry me and be with me for the rest of our forever. I love you."

Bella was speechless. All she didoes is nod her head. As she went to place her arms around Edward she hears an annoying beeping noise. Before she knew it, she opened her eyes and was in her bed, alone. She had another dream with him in it.

She shut off her alarm and checked her cell phone. She rubbed her belly but instead of the large swollen stomach she had in her dream, she had he four and a half month old bump. After she saw that she had seven missed voicemail messages and eighteen text messages from Edward. She had spoken to him twice since they had broken up. Both of them had ended up in tears. Since then she began to ignore him. Since she made that decision she hadn't cried as much although her heart and body still yearned for him.

Edward wanted to talk to her. When they did he changed the subject whenever the baby was brought up. He avoided the topic as best a she could. That made it clear to her that he wasn't serious about the baby. She deleted the message without looking or listening to them and placed her phone down and began to get ready for work.

She arrived at work about an hour and a half later. Knowing that she had been unhappy and even a little depressed, Lauren, the young intern wanted to see Bella smile again. She missed the silly conversations he had with her boss and mentor.

"Good morning Bella. Here are your messages. I um, I know that you have been upset lately and I don't know why and really it's none of my business but I've felt bad. Last night I went home and made some cookies and brownies and breads for you," Lauren said as she handed Bella the gift bag filled with food.

Bella smiles genuinely. "That was very sweet Lauren, thank you. I really appreciate it. I'm going to be busy today, so I'll be locked in my office for most of the day. I have a mountain of work I have to get through. Would you mind screening my calls?"

"Of course I can do that Bella. Take it easy and please let me know what I can do to help you or if you need anything."

After thanking Lauren, Bella walked into her office. She hung up her jacket and bag. She walked over to her desk and sat down. As her computer boots up, she looks at the pictures that surround her around her desk. The first picture she sees is of her with Alice and Jasper. They are smiling and happy. It was Alice's idea to have the picture taken on New Year's Eve. She also looked at the picture of her climbing on Carlisle's back as a child. She couldn't have been more than three years old. Carlisle was also holding Emmett in a hug.

The newest picture in collection was the ultra sound picture of the healthy baby in stomach. She couldn't wait to meet her child. The last double picture frame held an old picture of she and Jacob from college. The picture next to it was a newer picture of the two of them. It was taken in the middle of Times Square just a few weeks ago. Jacob had to go to the city for work and asked if Bella wanted to tag along. He recreated their first college trip and visited all of the places they had been to years ago in college. To an on looker, it would appear that Jacob and Bella made a stunning couple. His hands were wrapped around her lovingly. They both smiled and beamed as a stranger took their picture. In reality they were only friends, the best of friends.

In the months since Edward's erupt departure, Jacob had been her support system. They met several times a week for dinner and to just chat. They watched their favorite shows, Vampire Diaries and American Idol, together. They were too embarrassed to admire to anyone else that they actually not only watched the shows but also enjoyed them. Jacob would end up spending the night at her house, sharing her bed but nothing ever happened and nothing ever would happen. He wanted to be the one she reached out to when she cried or even when she was happy.

After hours of throwing herself into her work, Bella emerged when Lauren buzzed into her office. "Bella, there is a call for you on line four. The caller said it was an emergency, but I actually forgot to ask who it was."

"That's all right. It's probably just Emmett. You should go on your lunch break."

"Sure. Do you want me to grab you anything?" Lauren asked.

"No, I'm good thanks. Have a good lunch," Bella said as she pressed the button to hang up the intercom. She then lifted the phone and hit line four. "Hello, this is Bella Cullen."

"Bella?"

Bella was taken back by Edward's voice. They had conversed via text message and email after the two failed calls. Bella's mood soon changed from shocked to anger. "How dare you call me at work and tell my intern it was an emergency. Why are you calling me anyway?"

Edward spoke defensively. "I had to. You weren't returning my calls."

"Edward, we broke up." Bella took a deep breath and tried to remain calm. "Did you change your mind?"

"I miss you Bella," Edward simply stated.

I miss you too, a lot Edward. You just have no idea how much I do she thought to herself. "Okay, but Edward, have you changed your mind about, you know, our baby?"

Softly Edward replied. "No. I can't Bella. I…"

"Then things stand as they were before. We are done Edward. I don't have time for this, especially at work. I'm extremely busy right now. Please listen to me again Edward, this is goodbye."

"Bella, wait," Edward practically yelled.

Ignoring him, Bella continued. "By the way, please thank your parents for the package your parents sent. I'm looking forward to their visit in June." Bella was exacted when she spoke to Renee after she and Edward broke up.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. Edward told us about the break up and the baby. I can't believe he did that to you sweetie. I swear I don't know what that boy thinks sometimes. How are you feeling?" Renee asked.

"I'm good thank you. So far the pregnancy has been so easy, I think that's why I didn't realize I was pregnant in the first place."

Renee smiled from across the country. "I'm glad honey. I know how Edward stands on the baby, but I was wondering, and I understand if you don't want to, but I was wondering if Charlie and I could still be part of the baby's life."

Tears of happiness filled Bella's eyes. "I would like that very much Renee. Even though Edward doesn't want to be a father, it doesn't change the fact that the baby is your grandchild and I would love it if you got to know him or her."

Renee's eyes were too wet with tears. "Bella, thank you. You just don't understand how happy you have made us honey. We love you Bella."

Bella sobbed. "Thank you Renee. I love you too."

"Anyway, could you please tell her I'll talk to her soon?"

Edward grew frustrated before he finally asked, "You'd rather talk to my mother than me?" Well Edward, he thought to himself, do you really blame her? Edward then thought about after she told him about the baby she was visibly scared and what did he do? He ran across the country and left her his conversation with his family, it appeared that Renee would rather speak to Bella too.

Edward rushed into his parents' home. He threw his luggage onto the floor and looked at his parent sitting on the couch. "Mom, dad, I need to talk to you both about something."

"Is everything all right?" Charlie asked alarmed.

Renee shook her head. "Why are you here Edward? Where's Bella? Oh god, is she all right?"

Edward let out a sigh. He was exhausted. He cried throughout the flight from Boston to Seattle. He rented a car and continued to cry on his way to his parents' house. He hadn't slept and felt like an asshole. He shook his head as he answered his parents. "No, everything isn't okay. Bella is, well, Bella is pregnant."

A smile formed on Charlie's face. He looked at Renee who looked as if she was about to burst from happiness. "Really?" Charlie questioned.

"Oh Edward," Renee said standing up and hugging her son. "I'm so happy!"

"I asked her to have an abortion," Edward bluntly stated.

Charlie and Renee looked at each other again. "What?"

Renee looked disgusted. "Are you out of your mind? Oh god, did she?"

Edward shook his head as he sat down. "No. I told her that I didn't want it and she told me to get the hell out."

Renee was angry. She crossed her arms and looked at her son sternly. "Good for her, at least one of you have brains."

"Renee," Charlie began to scold her.

Renee shook her head and looked away from her son and focused on her husband. "No Charlie, this is ridiculous." She turned and looked at Edward. "Let me get this straight, you love Bella."

Nodding, Edward answered without feeling. "More than anything."

"Okay," Renee began. "You loved her enough to express it through, um, actions that you two did."

Edward looked confused. "What?"

Renee shook her head again. "Sex Edward, you felt you loved her enough to have sex with her."

Edward's eyebrows rose. "Mom, where are you going with this?"

"You are unbelievable, Edward Anthony Cullen," she scolded him. "The poor thing is probably so scared right now."

"Who's scared and why?" Jane asked as she plopped herself on the love seat.

Charlie coughed before answering. "It seems that Edward left Bella because she is pregnant."

Jane's eyes widened. "That bitch! I knew it!"

Edward glared at his sister. "Don't call her that."

"Jane, you are not helping this situation," Renee scolded yet another one of her children.

"I would like the record to show that I knew she was using him. I bet she comes after him for money."

Edward scrunched his face, shook his head and offered his sister a dirty look. "I highly doubt it. She wants nothing to do with me."

"Can you blame her Edward? You treated her like she was piece of the trash! The minute she actually really reads you, you run as far away from her as you could get," Renee yelled at him.

Charlie shook his head and softly spoke. "Edward, you are acting like a coward."

Edward ran his fingers through his hair. He tugged at it as he grew frustrated. "You just don't understand!"

"You guys should just lay off of him," Jane said sticking up for her brother. "He's finally using his head above his shoulders for once."

Rolling his eyes at his sister, Edward took a deep breath and began. "I have repeated myself several times and I have told all of you that I don't want children or a marriage."

Renee finally stood up and looked at her son. She rolled her eyes as she began to speak. "We know, Tanya messed you up. Edward you have to get over that. Not everyone is going to be like her."

Edward stood up and looked at his family in the room. He turned his back to walk away but then stopped. He began softly. "You don't understand. I caught Tanya in bed with same the night of our rehearsal dinner.. They were fully engaged in sex."

Charlie cocked his head and looked at Edward. "Your best friend Sam?"

"Former by the way. Why don't you think I talk to him anymore? He screwed me over while he was literally screwing my fiancée." Edward explained.

Renee dropped her arms to her sides and shrugged her shoulders. "I'm sorry that happened to you but I don't understand what this has to do with Bella."

Jane looked hurt as she whispered. "Tanya never told me that."

Charlie shook his head as he placed his hand on Jane's. "Not now Jane. What does one have to do with the other?"

Edward sighed. "If you remember I Tanya lost the baby before we were engaged. I was so excited waiting for him to be born," Edward smiled sadly.

Renee walked over to her son and squeezed his shoulder. "That was the happiest I had ever seen you in your entire life, until you met Bella."

Edward nodded trying to ignore the mention of Bella's name. "Right. I went to every appointment with Tanya. I paid for a nutritionist and a personal chief. I made sure she didn't exercise and she rested when she needed to. She certainly wasn't working thirteen, fourteen hour days." Edward paused as he got lost in his thoughts. He stared at the wall as he continued. I was so excited to set up the nursery and to paint it. I remember when I felt him kick for the first time. It was weird. I knew for sure he was going to be a football player. Then it happened," Edward said as his smile soon faded. His complexion grew red and water filled his eyes. "She didn't control herself. She got drunk and I lost it on her. She was so angry with me. I called her a stupid bitch because she drank while being so far along in her pregnancy. She told me she didn't want to talk about it and went to walk up the stairs. She missed a step and fell down almost the entire flight of stairs.

"By the time we got to the hospital, it was too late and he was gone." Edward paused as he began to cry. "She was almost eight months along. I stayed with her as she was forced to go through the motions of giving birth to a dead baby. The nurses cleaned him up when he was out and Tanya refused to hold him. She knew she was wrong and ultimately responsible for his death.

"I remember holding him wrapped in a blue blanket. He was tiny, so perfect looking and still so lifeless. I held him for what seemed like hours. I didn't want to let him go. I have a few pictures of him somewhere." Edward stopped and began to sob hysterically. Renee pulled her son into an embrace and cried with him. Renee's eyes met her husbands' as they shared silent tears.

Jane, also in tears, hugged her brother and mother. "Oh my god, I had no idea that happened like that." Jane said realizing Tanya wasn't completely honest with her and had most likely intentionally pinned her against her brother.

Edward pulled away and wiped his eyes with his sleeves. "We never told anyone about Tanya's episode. She felt ashamed. After I placed him back into his crib, I cried but I felt so numb. I have never felt so distant from everything happening around me. I had more love and had felt more emotions towards this little baby who simply was no more. As I watched the nurses take him away that was the moment in my life I decided I didn't want any more children. I didn't want to go through that again. I don't think I could ever recover from another loss like that. I'd rather be dead than experience that again."

Charlie moved closer to his son and placed an arm around Edward's shoulders. "That's why you left Bella. You were afraid to feel that kind of love again."

"Wait, before you answer him, explain to me why you proposed to Tanya after that."

Edward nodded his head. "We were both so scared. It seemed right considering what we had both gone through together. The proposal wasn't some big romantic testimony. It was what seemed right at the time. Instead of distancing ourselves, he were both hurting and got closer, so I had thought."

"So what happened before your wedding?" Jane inquired.

"I told you, I caught her with Sam. I came home to pick her up and take her to the rehearsal at the church. She didn't hear me come in since she and Sam were preoccupied. Once she saw me, she tried to stop me. I just walked over, packed a suitcase and walked out. She followed me because she wanted to talk. I told her to leave me alone. I was hurting so badly. That's when I called you mom and asked you to call the planner to cancel the wedding. Tanya heard me and was upset, naturally. She told me she felt I deserved the truth. She told me she and Sam had been together, for a while, for almost our entire relationship. She then told me she wasn't," Edward paused before breaking into sobs again. "She told me she wasn't entirely sure that the baby was mine. She then basically told me she used me to get to Sam but didn't want to break up with me. Our entire relationship was nothing but a lie."

"That's why you didn't want me to hang out with her. Edward, I'm sorry. That is terrible. I had no idea that happened. We are so close, you should have told me," Jane said sympathetically.

"I knew that bitched ruined a part of you. I can't begin to understand how you feel honey," Renee said as she leaned on her son.

Charlie shook his head. "Edward, you have so much love in you and it is very obvious that you love Bella a lot. Why are you pushing her away."

"And your child Edward. You have a chance to be a father again. Give that child what you couldn't give your son." Renee added.

Edward wiped his eyes before coldly answering. "I'm not putting myself through that again."

"Do you think Bella cheated on you?" Jane questioned.

Edward shook his head. "No, I know she wouldn't. I just don't want that piece of me to be so vulnerable again."

Renee shook her head as she stood up and looked at her son. "Edward, that makes no sense."

Edward shook his head as he grew angry. "It's just how I fucking feel, all right?" He shouted and stormed out of the room.

Renee felt sad her son had endured so much pain, however, he needed to heal and get over that event in his life. She was bitter towards Tanya for tainting a part of her loving child. There was a piece of him that she seemed to own. Renee was also angry because Edward wasn't acting responsibly. He just walked away from what she considered to be the love of his life. She was sad and depressed but also angry at him. Tears fell from her eyes again as Charlie walked over to hold her. "Do you think Bella would let us see the baby? Our son is acting like such a jerk, I don't know what to think."

Charlie smiled. "We can only hope."

"Did you hear anything I just said? Hello?" Bella asked sarcastically.

Edward shook his head. "I'm sorry. I was thinking about something. What did you say?"

Bella rolled her eyes even though he couldn't see her. "You need to listen Edward. I said your mother shows interest in the baby and isn't ignoring it, so yes, I's rather talk to her than you. I can't force you into having interest in a life that you don't care about."

Almost ignoring her, Edward continued. "I told you I miss you. I miss the smell of your Pantene shampoo and conditioner. And I miss holding. God, I miss holding your body against mine at night." Edward began to audibly cry. "Bella, I miss you a lot."

Bella had begun to breath heavy. She shook her head fighting tears again. "Edward, I can't have this conversation again. I'm at work." Bella stopped and inhaled and exhaled. She began to speak in a calm but harsh low tone. "It's really simple Edward. We want different things from a relationship and we aren't going to work because we aren't on the same page."

Edward simply stated his obvious thought. "I love you Bella."

I love you too she thought silently to herself. Bella closed her eyes and inhaled again sharply. "I think we have learned that sometimes that isn't enough"

"At least let's talk, please?" Edward begged her.

"Edward, there isn't anything to talk about. You should just really move on," Bella said. It pained her that those words flew out of her mouth. "I really have to go Edward. I'm so behind. We can't talk about this now."

Edward sighed. "Will you actually answer my calls if I call you at home?"

"I honestly don't know what good it would do. I think we have said everything that was left to be said." Bella answered honestly.

"I don't think so. I want to catch up and see how you are. I told you I miss you so much." Edward restated.

Bella looked at her door when she heard a knock. "Hold on," she said moving the phone down. "Come in," she beckoned.

The door slowly opened and she sighed relief. She held up her fingers and motioned at the seat on the other side of her desk. She focused her attention on ending her call with Edward. "Call if you want, but I really have to go Edward."

"We'll talk soon, maybe? I hope so. I love you Bella," Edward repeated.

Bella bit her bottom lip and sighed. "Good bye Edward." She let out another breath of air before laughing. She forgot there was a person was sitting in front of her. "What are you doing here?" She inquired.

"I thought you might need an ice cream break," Jacob smiled.

Bella shut off her computer and grabbed her jacket. "Let's go. I have a lot to tell you."