Author's Warning: potential abortion trigger. Please continue reading at your own discretion if this is a sensitive topic for you. xx
Shepard wandered around the metal halls of the Normandy, doing a final lap of checking on her crew before retiring from the night. Exhausted from her mission to retrieve the Prothean AI Vendetta from the Illusive Man's base earlier that day, Shepard was eager to return to her quarters to pop a couple of anti-nausea pills and bury herself between Kaidan and her bedsheets, feeling as though she had been run over by a Mako. Crossing into the mess hall from the gun battery where Garrus was routinely calibrating, the Commander caught sight of Doctor Chakwas waving at her through the windows of the med bay, trying to get her attention.
Chakwas gestured to one of the rock-hard beds in the corner of the room, tinting the glass windows of the bay with a quick tap on her omni-tool as Shepard stepped wearily through the automatic doors. "Take a seat please, Shepard."
Shepard hoisted herself onto the bed and looked at the doctor expectantly.
"How is the nausea and vomiting going, Commander?" Chakwas asked, sitting down onto her wheeled chair and propelling herself across the floor with a kick of her feet, coming to a stop before the Commander. She clutched a data pad in her gloved hand.
"Getting a little worse, to be honest," Shepard replied, her face pale as she licked her slightly dry lips. "The IV fluids that you gave me before the mission really helped, otherwise I don't think I would have made it through without passing out... Have you found out what sort of stomach bug I've picked up, Doc? Is it because of Vega's cooking?"
"Your stool sample came back clear," Chakwas replied, looking down at her datapad. "I had run a number of tests on your blood sample." The Normandy doctor sighed heavily, looking at the tired face of the Commander before her. "There is no other way for me to say this, Shepard," Chakwas continued. "I found significantly high levels of human chorionic gonadotropin hormone in your blood. You are pregnant."
There was silence in the med bay as the Commander blinked her tired green eyes at the doctor before her. She began to shake her head immediately. "No way. That's impossible," she replied adamantly. "It's not possible for me to get pregnant. Cerberus..."
"Brought you back to life, essentially just as you were before you died," Chakwas finished Shepard's sentence for her. "Give or take the cybernetics. A few upgrades. The new biotic implant. Your cybernetics are actually the reason why I think you are suffering from extreme morning sickness so suddenly, Commander. Your body is quite sensitive to the surge in hormones."
Shepard continued to shake her head in denial. "It's not possible, Chakwas. There must be a mistake."
"Commander, you know how good I am at my work," Chakwas replied, reaching forward to hold Shepard's face still beneath her hands as the Commander continued to shake her head. Holding gently onto Shepard's chin, the warm eyes of the doctor locked onto Shepard's bright green ones. "This baby is no immaculate conception, Shepard," she smiled, somewhat sadly. "I've seen you and Major Alenko together. We all know what's going on between you both. There is absolutely no mistaking it. You are very, very pregnant."
Shepard's heart sank as she grasped the unexpected news that Chakwas had presented her with. Overcome with a wave of nausea she quickly leaned forward, gripping the hard surface of the med bay bed beneath her. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths, the sound of her inhaling echoing loudly among the private confines of the bay. A thick feeling of dread began to wash over her, her throat constricted. She immediately pushed the images of a plump, innocent newborn out of her head.
"When is the soonest that I can get rid of it, Doc?"
Doctor Chakwas dropped the datapad in surprise, the sound of it clattering against the metal floor of the med bay.
"Surely you don't really mean that, Commander?"
Shepard locked her green eyes with the doctor's, her features becoming firm in the determined look that Chakwas knew so well. "Please don't judge me, Chakwas," she replied a little more fiercely than she meant to. "I absolutely mean it."
"This baby you have conceived is a miracle, to say the least, Commander," Chakwas spoke gently. "Despite Cerberus being able to bring you back with a fully functioning reproductive system, you have a condition that was once known as poly cystic ovarian syndrome back in the older days. They were able to revive your ovarian tissue, but were never truly able to replicate the hormone production in your ovaries to allow you to have regular periods and ovulate monthly."
"It doesn't matter if this child is the baby Jesus, doctor," Shepard replied bluntly, her lips quivering. "Humanity is on the brink of extinction. The Reapers have the Catalyst and we have a far-fetched plan we pulled out of our arses to somehow sail past them and dock our Crucible on the Citadel without them noticing. Our mission is so desperate. I am not going to bring a new life into a world that is so close to ending." Shepard bowed her head, looking down at her hands as she clenched and un-clenched them in her lap. "What's the point in having a child, feeling it grow underneath my skin, falling in love with it, watching it take a first breath when it's born, only to witness it slaughtered because we didn't manage to defeat the Reapers? Better to end that little life before it is ever born. Better to never be subjected to such atrocities."
Chakwas was silent in response to Shepard's explanation, reaching forward to grip the Commander's slightly trembling hands beneath her own in a maternal manner.
"So when can I have the procedure done, Doc?" Shepard repeated, her eyes steadfast in her determination to convey her wishes to the Normandy's doctor.
"I'm not going to perform the procedure until I know for sure that it is what you want, Shepard," Chakwas replied, trying as best as she could to mask the look of disappointment crossing her face. She raised a finger as Shepard's mouth opened in protest, silencing her. "You will have to do a few counseling sessions with me first, just to make sure that you are making the right decision for yourself." Chakwas squeezed Shepard's hand firmly beneath her own reassuringly. "But if I am sure that is truly what you want, I will do it for you as soon as possible." She handed Shepard a small blister pack of anti-emetic tablets that she produced from a pocket in her uniform. "Sleep on it tonight for now, Commander. Speak to Kaidan about it. We'll discuss it again in the morning, okay?"
"Kaidan?"
"Mrmmm?" the Major replied, his voice muffled somewhat as he buried his face into the crook of Shepard's neck, sweaty and hot in the aftermath of their lovemaking. Their implants sizzled as the energy from both of their biotics began to fade. Kaidan's fingers trailed down the curve of Shepard's hips as he held her close against him, feeling her hot breath against his chest.
"Do you ever want to have children one day?" Shepard asked, Kaidan's racing pulse thumping against her ear.
"Absolutely, Shepard," Kaidan smiled, his fingers trailing through her strands of black hair. "I've always wanted to be a father, for as long as I can remember. What about you?"
"I guess so. One day, once this is all over," Shepard waved her hand in what she hoped was a casual manner.
"Why do you ask, Shepard?" Kaidan bent his head to look down at her face, slightly worried as she nestled against his chest.
"Just thinking about the future," Shepard replied vaguely. "Thinking about what life will be like if we actually manage to pull this off. Wondering about what might never be..."
"Don't talk like that," Kaidan crooned, placing a gentle kiss to her sweaty brow as his fingers continued to stroke her hair, causing her nerves to tingle in pleasure. "I've had the future mapped out in my mind for a while now. You and me, retired from the Alliance, living in my parents' orchard back in Vancouver. A little girl, with my brown hair and your green eyes playing at our feet. Another baby cooking away in your belly." Kaidan chuckled, a little embarrassed about vocalizing the future that he had pictured for so long with Shepard. He felt the Commander sigh softly before she made to roll over so that her back nestled against his front, her buttocks brushing against his sensitive member. Kaidan wrapped his arms tightly around her as she snuggled into the shape of his body, fitting together perfectly like two pieces in a puzzle.
"One day soon when this is over, we'll have it all Shepard," Kaidan whispered in her ear as his hands trailed downwards to caress her lower abdomen. "You, me, a family. Little children running around that we can look at and say are half of you and half of me. One day soon."
Kaidan sat vigilantly at Shepard's bedside, her trembling hands clasped tightly beneath his own strong ones. He frantically tried to blink away the tears that kept threatening to spill out of his eyes as he tried to comfort the distraught woman on the bed before him, doing his best to calm Shepard down. Barely back to Earth for twenty-four hours, he had been presented with a Shepard that he had never quite seen before, even before he had found her on the floor drenched in blood. It was as if the Reaper war and the aftermath of her grueling recovery had taken something valuable from the battle-hardened soldier, turning the the War Hero of the Skyllian Blitz and Savior of the Galaxy back into a vulnerable woman.
After finding Shepard on the ensuite floor, Kaidan had immediately hit the emergency button on the wall of the bathroom before hastily covering Shepard and himself with towels, a handful of nurses rushing into the room in response. Immediately seeing the reason for the distress call, they had swiftly lifted Shepard onto a gurney retrieved from heaven knew where and rushed her out of the rehabilitation ward to the acute wing of the Alliance hospital across the base. Kaidan barely had a chance to pull on some clothes to make himself decent amongst his racing thoughts/ Wheeled immediately into an emergency bay, Kaidan was left for a moment to try console Shepard as she turned to pieces before his eyes, her distraught hands trying to clutch at her belly as she prayed and implored their baby to be okay.
Despite trying to maintain a strong and steady presence to reassure Shepard, Kaidan was completely scared out of his wits. There had been so, so much blood. It could only mean that something was terribly wrong with their baby.
The familiar form of Doctor Chloe Michel whizzed through the doors of the emergency bay, her doctor's uniform sizzling after passing through decontamination.
"Commander Shepard, Major Alenko," she nodded, immediately skipping the pleasantries as she sat down quickly onto a wheeled stool at the Commander's bedside. It pained the doctor that after not seeing Shepard for a while since being moved to the rehabilitation ward, they had met again in such painful circumstances. Snapping a pair of latex gloves expertly over her hands, she moved to Shepard's legs to lift up the towel that Kaidan had draped over her waist. "Spread, please."
Shepard immediately opened her legs, clenching her eyes shut as tears poured down her freckled cheeks, her nails digging into Kaidan's hands as she tried her best to collect herself. She could feel the doctor examining her gently and respectfully before quickly raising her head to view again, re-positioning the towel to cover Shepard's waist. "Have you felt any movements, Commander?" Michel asked, ripping off the blood-covered gloves and quickly squeezing alcohol rub over her palms from the bottle perched at the end of the gurney frame.
"Not at all," Shepard whispered, her voice barely audible as it trembled. Kaidan sniffed loudly at her side and pressed a kiss to her shaking hands within his own, desperately trying to blink back his tears. "Not since... not since last night now that you mention it. As far as I can remember."
Michel nodded, her hands palpating Shepard's protruding stomach gently as she felt around to ascertain the position of the baby. "Fetch me an omni-sound machine, asap," she muttered over her shoulder to the nurse who waited patiently out of view. "I know this is hard at the moment, Commander, but I need you to try relax, okay?"
Shepard nodded, Kaidan's fingers stroking the tufts of her growing fringe gently.
It seemed to take forever for the nurse to return with a familiar looking machine that Shepard recognized from her anatomy scan with Miranda, although realistically she had been less than five minutes. Michel positioned it swiftly atop of Shepard's swollen stomach, the blood stains of the sheets and towels turning almost black under the harsh orange light of the machine. Shepard felt the familiar warm sensation as the device basked her skin and began to hum, Michel's fingers flying over the device's terminal at her side. Craning his neck to look at the screen on top of the concave wall encasing Shepard's lower abdomen, Kaidan moved ever so slightly so that he could see what the doctor was doing.
"Just talk to me, okay Doctor?" Shepard whispered pitifully. "Please don't keep us in the dark while you look?"
"Of course not, Commander," Michel replied reassuringly, tapping away at the terminal. Kaidan saw the doctor's shoulders visibly relax, a spark of hoping sprouting in his chest at the hint. "Here," Michel reached around and pointed to the screen on the machine in Shepard and Kaidan's sight. "Your baby. It's alive. It has a strong heartbeat." Michel smiled as she heard the parents gasp loudly in relief, Shepard's voice hiccuping as she threatened to burst into uncontrollable sobs. "I must say, your baby seems to be an intelligent one, that's for sure. Brain activity is off the charts! Very normal though," she added quickly as Shepard jumped slightly, obviously alarmed. "Your baby is constantly learning things in-utero. I think it's safe to say it is just more receptive to what is going on around it than other babies."
The Commander and Major were met with a third-dimensional projection of their growing baby on their screen before them, drinking in the sight of its perfect little features. Kaidan felt a surge of emotion he had never experienced before within his body as his heart swelled within his chest, his brown eyes barely daring to believe that the little baby before him was actually the child that he and Shepard had created together. Cliche` though he knew it would sound, Kaidan immediately fell in love with his child.
"But all of that blood...?" Shepard dared to ask, grasping Kaidan's hand firmly as the Major pressed a heartfelt kiss to her forehead, his eyes wet with emotion.
Doctor Michel nodded in acknowledgement, her eyes returning to focus on the terminal of the omni-sound device before her. "I can see exactly what the cause of all the bleeding is, Commander," she replied in a reassuring tone. "Your placenta, the life support machine of your baby I guess you could say, is partially covering your cervix. Your baby's entrance and exit point, if you will," she tacked on, noticing the confused look on Shepard and Kaidan's faces. "It is called placenta previa. A fairly rare pregnancy complication that is not commonly seen nowadays, but given your past history it is no surprise that you were at higher risk of developing it."
"But why so much blood all of a sudden?"
"Intercourse, I suspect," Michel smiled, pretending not to see Shepard and Kaidan both blush profusely together. "A little bit too much celebrating causes a lot of friction and aggravation on your sensitive cervix, Commander. Hence the bleeding. You will have to be extremely careful from now on until you deliver."
"Miranda did mention that my placenta was low," Shepard mumbled, reflecting back on her anatomy scan with the former Cerberus Operative. "I didn't even think..."
"It wouldn't have been an issue a number of weeks ago, as placentas generally move as the uterus expands with the baby while it grows," Michel explained.
"So my placenta can't still move off of my cervix as I get further along?" Shepard asked, wiping her eyes with the side of her hand.
"Generally, no," Michel explained. "Not when you are so close to your third trimester."
"So what does this mean?" Kaidan asked. "The baby will be okay, won't it?"
"It means that you won't be able to deliver your baby vaginally, Commander," Michel replied, talking more directly to Shepard. "We will need to monitor you regularly, make sure there is no further bleeding. Once you reach term you will need to be scheduled for an elective cesarean section. There is no other alternative if we are to make sure that your baby survives birth. Placenta previa is a life or death situation for mother and baby. If you were to go into labour naturally the placenta wall will detach from your cervix as it dilates, causing placental abruption. Essentially, your baby's life support would detach and it would no longer have a supply of oxygen whilst it is inside of you."
"That's... full on," Shepard whispered. "But our baby is alive. That's the most important thing. Cut me open whenever you need to doc, I just want he or she to be born safe and healthy."
"Do we know if it is a he or she...?" Kaidan dared ask, his mind hardly registering the onslaught of medical terminology that Doctor Michel had thrown at him.
"I had wanted to wait until you were here with me before I found out," Shepard mumbled, locking his soft brown eyes with her own. "Can you see the baby's gender, Doctor...?"
Michel smiled. "You have a perfectly healthy baby girl growing in there, I am pleased to say."
Kaidan could not stop the excited gasp that escaped his lips, with Shepard positively squealing beside him on the gurney. "A girl!" Kaidan breathed, immediately reaching forward to gather as much of Shepard as he could in his arms. "I can't believe it!" He could feel Shepard's gasps as she cried in the safe embrace of his arms, the stress of the past hour catching up with her in an onslaught of tears. Kaidan gently stroked her hair and mumbled in her ear in a comforting manner, his mind exploding as he began to envision what their daughter would look like and what to name her.
"So, Commander," Doctor Michel added, reluctant to break up the emotional parents before her. "You are to be on strict bed rest now until you are full term. No more physical therapy. No more sex whatsoever," she added while looking at Kaidan, as if aiming it at him. Unable to control himself, the Major's face fell slightly. "Stick to kissing," Michel smiled. "It's only for another four months or so, give or take depending on your recovery from the c-section and post-partum bleeding. You will both survive the abstinence, I am sure." She chuckled as she began to move the omni-sound machine off of Shepard's abdomen, issuing instructions to the nurse behind her out of the corner of her mouth.
"That was quite the welcome back from your child, wasn't it?" Shepard asked softly amongst her sobs, resting her head against Kaidan's strong chest as he embraced her close. It took a while for her palpitating heart to begin to settle back into a normal and more regular rhythm, the relief that their child was alive and alright beginning to sink in fully. "I am so sorry for turning into an emotional wreck, Kaidan," she apologized, looking up at the strong outline of his face on top of her. "I don't think I can quite blame it entirely on pregnancy hormones at the moment though, given everything that's happened."
"At least we're together now," Kaidan smiled, pressing kisses to her soft hair. "You, me and our daughter. It still hasn't quite sunk in. We're at the precipice of the life that I had always dreamed for us, Shepard." He paused, running his hand lovingly over the pronounced curve of her stomach. "A few more months when our daughter is here, and we will have it all, just like I promised."
So.
I figured I would have had to have been pretty mean to not have quickly updated after the cliffhanger from the previous chapter, given that I will probably disappear for a few days with my new copy of Fallout 4. I'm hoping that this chapter did not disappoint!
Updates will probably not be as regular as they have been in the next couple of weeks, I'm afraid. I am hoping to have a chapter out every two weeks or so, at the latest. We are inching ever so close to the end now, & there is still plenty of twists and turns to come before this fanfic ends. Because I can't seem to stop putting them in, hehe. I like to keep it interesting.