September 2014
"Dress warm!" Dean shouted into the bedroom. Despite the fact it was September the chill of winter was slowly creeping in quicker than accepted. News reports were already hinting at snow which he wildly freaked out about. Snow was not good for what he wanted.
"Why? Where are you taking me?" Castiel said with a scowl leaning against the doorframe. "Come back to bed, I'll let you top"
"Cas, we had sex all day yesterday and the day before, you horny bugger" Dean murmured with a shake of his head. Castiel flashed him a small smile shrugging his shoulders.
"It's better than going out into the freezing cold"
"No, you're just constantly horny so no go get dressed up warm" Dean said looking over his shoulder and flashing him a smile. "Please"
"This better be good" Castiel warned with a sigh retreating into the room. "I'm giving up a whole night of bed warmth, body warmth, and orgasms"
"Oh shut up and come on" Dean called to him and smiled when he came out in his coat and hat.
"You're adorable" Dean cooed and laughed when Castiel frowned standing in front of him. Dean couldn't resist kissing him as he bent his head touching his lips.
"Smile" he whispered waiting till he saw the lips twitch unto a smile before it dropped into a frown.
"It'll be good, I swear" he said holding out his hand for Castiel to take as they slid their fingers together interlocking hands. Dean led the way as they walked out sliding into the car while Castiel huffed glancing at him as they drove down the street. Castiel looked out of the window staring at the passing street lights content till fifteen minutes later Dean stopped parking next to a hill.
"Why…Dean, why are we here?"
"Oh shut up and come on" Dean said with a sigh climbing out of the car and beckoning him over. Castiel walked over slowly taking his hand as he they walked together over the dark grass climbing up the hill. He was just thankful it wasn't slippery with rain as they climbed to the top and Castiel panted out of breath glaring at Dean.
"There had better be a good reason why you have dragged me out into the freezing cold night onto a hill when right now I could be riding you" he said narrowing his eyes at Dean who grinned shaking his head.
"Just shut up, Cas" he said pulling him towards him and pointing out to the sky. Castiel turned his head with a resigned sigh when an explosion startled him and he looked up at the eye watching the squealing firework explode in the sky bathing them in light for a moment before it faded. He gasped in surprise looking at Dean who shrugged as the fireworks continued and he gaped at Dean.
"Was this you?"
"No, Santa Claus, you've been such a good boy this year…" Dean muttered sarcastically till Castiel collided shoving at him with delight shining in his eyes.
"Dean…"
"Cas, this is the anniversary of the day we met and I wanted to do something…you always said I wasn't impulsive enough and I know your secret love for fireworks so I arranged it with a few friends from work" he said stroking the hair away from his forehead. Castiel stared back with flushed cheeks and awe etched into his face as he pulled him into a fierce kiss. Dean hummed in content pressing his forehead against his till he felt Castiel shiver not in pleasure but in coldness. He hummed as he unzipped his jacket pulling him towards him so he was pressed chest to chest without a sliver of air between them and wrapped the jacket around him.
Castiel smiled into his t-shirt staring up at the fireworks still squealing and exploding in the sky, Dean's smell washed over him as he inhaled the aftershave he loved a lot, the faint smell soap, cheap coffee from the hospital, and pie from earlier. Warmth surrounded him instantly and he smiled when Dean placed his chin on top of his head with a small hum.
"I can't believe you did this" he murmured peeking up at him and smiling when Dean kissed him deeply.
"You forgot" Dean breathed with a smile.
"I did not! I thought you forgot so I didn't bring it up"
"I wouldn't forget, Cas, not after everything" he murmured kissing down his jaw peppering it with small kisses while Castiel stared up at the sky when the latest firework went off.
"Tell me you love me" Castiel whispered meeting his eyes.
"I love you" he replied after a moment wrapping his arms tighter around him. "You're mine…"
"…and I'm yours" Castiel said finishing the sentence and smiled into his cheek when Dean huffed kissing his jaw.
"That was so cheesy" Dean whispered into his ear before turning them so they were facing it completely with Castiel's back to Dean. "The final show before my buddies head home"
"How much did you pay them?"
"Doug owed me and I paid Jack a healthy sum of money to freeze his ass off so I could give my boyfriend a display of fireworks" Dean murmured into his ear when the fireworks above them crackled, squealed and exploded into pretty lights.
"I love it, I love you, and I'm so happy your memory is good" Castiel said wriggling back into his chest even more with glee when the final firework went off and they both heard a whistle.
"Thanks guys!" Dean hollered down the hill. Castiel tilted his head back before spinning in his arms to face him.
"Is there anything else?"
"Now that would be cheating…"
Castiel gasped touching his cheek. "Is there?"
"Remember that conversation back in 2010 when we talking about…" he said trailing off when Castiel gasped covering his mouth.
"Egypt? Dean, Egypt?!"
"How do you fancy a two week trip?" he said and grunted with laughter when he tackled him to the ground kissing him hard and eagerly.
"Dean!" he said astonished. "How-how did you manage to book a trip without me knowing?"
"Because I'm clever" he whispered up to him trailing his fingers down his cheek. "We need a break, Cas, and you've always wanted to go because you're a dork and love the Egyptians"
"How did you get time off?"
"Holidays needed to be used and because I could! Stop questioning everything" Dean said with a sigh poking his nose hard.
Castiel huffed straddling his waist and sitting up. "Do you blame me?"
"No…"
"I love you, I love you so much" Castiel said feeling giddy as he bent down kissing him. Dean soothed him as he rolled them till they were lying side by side kissing lazily in the grass.
"Just you, me, sand, sea, alcohol sex, lots of sex, and Egyptians" Dean murmured pressing his forehead against his. "I needed to do this for you"
"Dean…"
"Shut up" Dean said placing a finger against his lips. "It's freezing so let's go get something warm and go home"
"To pack" Castiel said pulling back. "When are we leaving?"
"Two days"
"Two days?! We need to pack now!" Castiel cried freaking out as he tugged at Dean who rolled his eyes at his freaking out throwing out things they needed. Dean paused planting his feet on the grass and laughing loud when Castiel stumbled nearly falling over in front of him.
"Cas, come here" he said waiting for him to come over to him confused. "Breathe in…and out…calm down, okay? We'll get this sorted and everything will be okay because if you don't calm down I'm going to kill you"
"You'd never kill me, you'd fall apart without me" Castiel murmured with an eye roll wrapping his arms around his neck. "I'm sorry, you know I worry"
"Yeah I do" Dean muttered with a sigh kissing him briefly before taking his hand and tugging him towards the car. "I have a lot sorted, I have passports, spending money, and all we have to do is pack which will take one day at best"
"Tomorrow!" Castiel said on the edge of panic till Dean flashed him a look. "Dean, we have to pack!"
"Well I want pie, god, you're such a nag"
"Oh don't you dare start on that; I'm not the one who booked a holiday which we are flying out to in 48 hours!" Castiel argued as they slid into the car.
"I'll leave you behind!"
"You wouldn't dare"
"Oh wouldn't I" Dean said with a small smile as he pulled out driving to the nearest 24 hour café. Castiel scowled only to calm when Dean locked their hands together with a gentle squeeze.
"You wouldn't be able to cope, you need me" Castiel said softly looking over to him. "I complete you"
"You're a sappy fucker" Dean said with a shake of his head.
"We're like puzzles…eventually we come back together no matter what happens"
"Cas!" Dean whined looking over to him while he looked back at him innocently. "The cheesiness is too much"
"It is not cheesiness, Dean, its fact, you couldn't cope without me…imagine if I had died…"
"Cas" Dean snapped looking over to him with a sharp look.
"Dean, just imagine for one second…"
"I don't want to!"
"Why not"
"Because it hurts too much, okay? I don't want to think about it or you being dead because it hurts too much so just…stop it" Dean snapped dragging his hand away clenching the wheel in a tight grip. Castiel bit into his lip looking away from him feeling very guilty but knew not to test him when he was like this. Dean hopped out slamming the door hard when they arrived not bothering to wait for Castiel who closed his eyes condemning himself for his own stupidity. He eventually climbed out of the car following after him and sighing softly as he slid into the booth facing Dean. Castiel opened his mouth to speak when Dean held up a finger at him with a stern look on his face.
"No, I don't…I don't want to talk" he said grabbing the menu. Castiel swallowed hard looking away from him as they sat in complete silence. The tension was awkward and think between them as Dean ordered his usual and Castiel refused anything watching Dean who refused to meet his eyes.
"Dean…" he said softly.
"No" Dean said meeting his eyes. "Just…no"
Castiel bit into his lip when Dean threw down the bill walking out of there. Castiel let out a huff following after him sliding into the car shaking his head.
"Dean, this is ridiculous, I'm sorry, okay? I know it's still a little raw and I am sorry for bringing it up…" Castiel ranted at him.
"Cas!" Dean cried glaring at him and looking away.
"Fine" he snapped looking out of the window twisting his body away from him cursing again his stupidity again. He hated fighting with Dean; it always left him feeling bitter and remorseful even when it wasn't fault at all. The end result ended with them going to their own rooms both in a bad mood with each other. Castiel stared up at the ceiling feeling restless, guilt stirring in his chest and making him feel very sick, and he sighed pushing up out of the bed and heading into Dean's room to see him in the exact same position.
Castiel sighed deeply crawling over the bed and burrowing under the covers staring at Dean till he turned over facing him.
"I'm sorry, I hate fighting with you and I know it's hard for you…I wasn't thinking" he murmured tucking close to him and closing his eyes when Dean kissed him softly on the forehead.
"I'm sorry for ignoring you and…yeah" he murmured with a sigh kissing him softly. Castiel looked up meeting his eyes pushing their foreheads together. Dean trailed his fingers down his cheek and neck feeling the pulse dance and pulse underneath his fingertips and he hummed wriggling down to push his ear against his chest listening to the thump of his heart against his ear. Castiel looked down at him combing his hands through his hair knowing the exact reason of why did this. It was common practise between them now while Dean listened to the thump of his heart soothing the ache in his chest when he remembered that day and night.
~0~0~0~0~
June 2009
It had been six months since Christmas, since the start of Gabriel and Sam's relationship and the ever continuing "friends with benefits" between Castiel and Dean still raging on even now but it was growing more and more strained with each passing day. It was easy to just fall into bed with each other every night kissing, touching, and feeling and Castiel loved it. He loved pinning Dean into the mattress and feeling him twitch underneath his hands, hearing his soft moans and gasps when he climaxed or became too strung up on pleasure and he secretly loved it even more when he could sit back and let Dean take full control as he was pressed into the mattress with Dean's weight pinning him there.
Then afterwards was when it grew painful for Castiel as he watched Dean climb out of the bed going for a shower and climbing into his own bed. He lay there with a feeling of satisfaction and a cold feeling of being used but this is how it was. It was just sex, letting go of frustrations and the end of university and the oncoming storm of hunting for jobs was spurring them on as they lost themselves in each other.
But while Dean was more than fine with the current situation, Castiel on the other hand was not as he watched from the side lines while Dean flirted with woman and even men right in front of him like it was nothing. Castiel would be in a bad mood with him till Dean came sliding over using his charm as he poked, teased and kissed him into a better mood not bothering to know why he was in a bad mood in the first place. Castiel affirmed it and decided that two could play at that game as he himself flirted with others around Dean and was more than thrilled that the reaction he wanted was Dean was coming through.
An example came when they in a supermarket buying their weekly groceries and flirted with the cashier who blushed and smiled at Castiel in return. He turned to look at Dean holding his hand out for the money was kept down the satisfaction at seeing anger bubbling behind Dean's eyes as he slapped the money into his hand glaring at the cashier named, "Joshua" and stormed away with the trolley.
"Have a n-nice day" he stuttered when Castiel winked at him moving away and following after Dean at the car throwing the items in the back.
"What the hell was that?" Dean raged at him when they got into the car.
"Dean, what are you talking about?" he questioned innocently feeling smug when Dean huffed angrily speeding out of Wal-Mart.
It continued on like a game between them as they continued the façade of flirting, eyeing up, and making a show of themselves with other people till it came too much and the angry sex between them was a huge bonus. Castiel revelled off the wall slamming, rough pushes to the floor, the biting, and even dominance over him when Dean got angry or frustrated with him. It was just a game.
Whilst there's was slowly falling apart around them, Sam and Gabriel's was battling strong as they took it one step at a time from first dates, first kisses, more kisses, foreplay and then eventual sex which Sam called Dean immediately after boasting about it till Dean chucked the phone at Castiel gagging and screaming at Sam. Gabriel was proud that he made the final step even if the age difference had raised an eyebrow from Karen when they told her at dinner one night, hands linked together, and sheepish looks off the pair of them. Karen eyed them both carefully telling them to be careful and no loud "hanky panky" under her roof. Sam had flushed while Gabriel grimaced in disgust at the name and even the mention. Their first time had been slow, torturous, just the side of painful but perfectly amazing for Sam who had his virginity took from him to Gabriel's astonishment since he assumed Sam had it already taken. Sam told him that he wanted Gabriel to be his first and only and when he told Dean, Dean had forced himself not to gag down the phone.
They were still going strong while Castiel was watching his crumble around him. It was the middle of spring and he was inside staring at his computer screen staring at vacancies for jobs chewing his thumb nervously while Dean was out somewhere. He sighed pushing the laptop away as he put his music on and made some tea. Castiel stood in the kitchen staring at nothing not hearing Dean come in and jumped out of his skin when arms went around his shoulders and he turned his head to see Dean smiling at him.
"Hello, I didn't hear you"
"Yeah because you got your shitty classical music on" Dean said with a frown moving over to switch it off. Castiel sniffed the air confused moving to Dean and stared at him.
"What's that smell?"
"What smell?" Dean said looking up at him with a frown.
"You smell like…perfume" Castiel muttered with a tilt of his head. "Is this a new trend?"
"What?" Dean said with a shake of his head. "I got a hug from Becky before"
"That would explain it" Castiel said with a nod and a smirk moving away to stir sugar into his tea. Dean swallowed moving away and heading to his bedroom to change and stared down at the hickey marks on his hips from the girl he had just fucked. Amber? Stacy? He didn't know but she was hot with big breasts so it didn't matter but why did he feel so guilty. Dean changed into clean clothes spraying the aftershave Castiel loved on him and returned to see him now at his computer. He hummed moving closer and wrapping his arms around his neck again staring at the screen.
"Oh wow…job hunting" Dean murmured with a grimace when Castiel nodded with a pout.
"It has to be done…like yours!" Castiel said poking him in the cheek. "You have to get a job, Dean, the rent won't pay for itself"
"You're cute when you get all flustered" he murmured into his ear before biting into ear gently.
"You are not charming me into bed, go away" Castiel muttered shoving him away.
"Harsh"
"You're a big boy" Castiel murmured focused as he filled in an application form. "You have a right hand for a reason"
"I don't want to wank"
"Then grit your teeth and supress those urges" he said with a small smirk.
Dean rolled his eyes brushing a hand down his face as he dropped on the sofa already sexually frustrated. His foot jutted up and down as he sneaked glances over to him and felt a little relieved when he slammed the lid down closing his eyes.
"I need fresh air, do you fancy coming with me?"
"Nah, I'm alright, I'll see you later" Dean muttered with a sigh looking over to the window.
"Okay"
Castiel didn't pick up on Dean's odd behaviour when he left but he did in the next few days and weeks that passed as Dean grew more increasingly clingy and somehow distant at the same time as he came back reeking of cheap perfume or even aftershave that wasn't his, he was constantly on his phone, disappearing at odd hours and sometimes not returning until the next day claiming he got "too drunk". Castiel had every right to be suspicious as he watched him from the corner of his eye till he got his answer one day when Dean went to the toilet leaving his phone. His phone flashed with a message that Castiel seized flicking open the message to see one new from a person called "Mattie" claiming "he had a great a great time and could they do it again"
Castiel felt his chest and heart clench in fear and despair as he read through the messages and it all clicked as he realised Dean was sleeping around with more people. He held up the phone when Dean came in and paused staring at him before looking at the phone and back to him.
"Did you read my messages?"
"Yes"
"What the fuck, Cas?"
"It's a great way to prove you're a liar and a whore" Castiel said slowly chucking at his feet.
"What?!" Dean said astonished picking his phone up. "I am not a whore!"
"Oh really? So the multiple of women and men on your phone are all liars claiming how amazing, how good you are in bed, and can they have a second time" Castiel spat at him pushing up and shaking his head at him.
Dean scoffed shaking his head. "Why does it matter? We're friends with benefits, Cas! It means two friends having causal sex without all the feelings and the relationship shit that goes along with it"
"You're unbelievable" Castiel whispered shaking his head. "That is really your explanation of this…we're friends with benefits so why not fuck the whole of Oklahoma while I'm at it!"
"It's not like that!"
"So tell me how it is!" Castiel shouted angrily back at him. "How can you stand there and just calmly accept this! I know what is between us, Dean, I know more than anyone but I'm not fucking any pretty boy or girl I see because I am not a little slut like you, Dean fucking Winchester, you are a sexually frustrated slut that can't keep it in pants for no more than five minutes"
Castiel turned away dragging a hand into his hair. "How many times did you come back reeking and stinking of another person before sliding into my bed?"
Dean clenched his jaw tight looking away from Castiel who gestured a hand at him.
"I bet you don't even know…just another hole to stick your cock in, Dean isn't it? I wasn't enough for your needs was I? I don't care what is between us and what isn't! I saw the signs of this long before you knew but I couldn't face it really…you're my best friend, Dean"
Dean swallowed hard turning hard eyes over to him. "That's it, Cas, just knock out the cruel words for me. I don't understand why it's such a big deal…"
"That's the problem!" Castiel shouted at him. "You don't see it, you never see it, you never understand how I feel when you walk away from me every single time getting shower and leaving me in that bed feeling like a cheap whore! I am just another notch on that bedpost, Dean, you didn't and you don't care about my feelings as long as you get what you want and I couldn't give it to you so you went out and found Mattie, Rochelle, Martine, and some guy called Luke to do it for you!"
Dean blinked at the tears forming in Castiel's eyes as he turned away shaking his head. The pain spreading through Castiel was like fire, the urge to cry roaring inside of him as he felt moisture prick his eyes and he closed them turning his back on him.
"This is what you wanted, we're friends with benefits, not boyfriends, I…don't want that and I thought you didn't as well. I slept with other people…big deal!" Dean said with a scoff. "I don't understand the freak out here, Cas, because you would do the same and you know it"
Castiel felt the tear slip down as he stared at the wall and bit into his lip as he hastily brushed it away.
"I wouldn't…I don't need anyone else" he said looking over to him. "But you would so this…this is over, you can have your whores on tap and I'll stay out of it"
"What? No, Cas, come on…" Dean said almost pleadingly moving towards him only for Castiel to smack his hand away grabbing his jacket.
"Why are you acting like a prissy little bitch over this? It's nothing!" Dean said grabbing his arm and gaping shocked when Castiel turned shoving him away hard so he smacked against the wall. His eyes were rimmed red, his breathing frantic as he pointed a finger at Dean.
"You are so stupid, Dean, you just don't get it! I can't…I can't do it anymore…I don't know how you can stand there and think I'll be okay with you fucking half of town because we're "friends with benefits" you just…you don't get how it makes me feel because you don't care about anyone but yourself"
"Cas…" Dean said reaching out for him when his voice cracked at the end and he shook his head heading to the door.
"Leave me alone, Dean" he muttered slamming the door behind him. Dean closed his eyes turning and slamming his fist into the wall with a cry of frustration. Castiel could see nothing as his vision blurred and he wiped at his burning cheeks as he walked with his head bent low not meeting peoples eye contact as he walked and turned the corner quickly.
~0~0~0~0~
Hilary sighed as she stared at her bank balance keeping an eye on her youngest daughter as she tugged at her sleeve asking for ice cream, crayons, and many expensive items she couldn't afford.
"Shush sweetheart" she said tiredly pocketing her card and looked up at the right moment to see a clearly distressed man brush past her. Her heart gave that lurch she got every time she seen someone in obvious pain and turned to call out for him to just ask him if he was alright when he crossed the road and it happened. It was fast and sudden as the car slammed into the man knocking him clean off his feet as he rolled across the bonnet falling to the ground. Her daughter screamed next to her as she gasped over and over again staring at the figure on the ground now perfectly still.
"Oh my god" she whispered crouching to hug her daughter to her and privately wondered if whatever had upset the now grievously hurt man with people surrounding him and screaming for an ambulance was truly worth it.
A/N: Ha, typically cliché, but this whole fanfic is so who cares because I certainly don't and cliffhanger alert hahaha!