(Dez)

I'm scared to see him. I'm scared, to get closer and hurry this whole trip along. I go slow, so that I can have time to think. There's no mistaking he's in Underworld, because I've thought about it. There really is no other place Charon would need to go to these days, and no other place he feels comfortable enough to rest in. But, even though I know where he is, I'm still scared. Really, really scared.

It's been five years, you know. Five years, since I last saw him, and since I last believed him to be alive. Just two days ago, I thought he was dead. Dead as they come, ready to be put in the ground six feet below. It's a lot to take in, hearing he's alive, and taking off after him in such a short amount of time. To be honest, I sort of blame myself for it all, really. I mean, what if I didn't run away? What if I did the smart thing, and simply ran to Gob? Then, a lot of this probably wouldn't have happened. Think about it, it just works. I feel like, because I ran away, I was the one who burdened everyone the most.

I'm sorry, that I fell into this hole. I'm sorry, that I didn't pick myself up like I should have. Just, thinking you did something that horrible, you don't think logically in the heat of the moment. All I could think to do, was run. Run, and let go of Charon's hand, so that we could separate. Truthfully, I wanted to die right there alongside with him. I didn't, want to part ways without him. Didn't want to leave the man that I had loved and trusted most of all the men in the world. The only person, I had spent years upon years with, and never got sick of. We had worked so hard, at staying together, at getting the life both of us so badly wanted. Instead I ran away from it all. Because…I was just…caught up in a moment.

As I walk, I don't pay attention to much. I just walk and walk. Not too far ago, I waded across the shallow end of the Potomac River without a second thought. Right now, I'm just walking with a cigarette in my hand, and smoking it every now and again. The nicotine stops my hunger, and keeps me going even though chain smoking makes my lungs feel really sticky. Plus the river wasn't as irradiated as I remember it to be. Most of it was fresh, but I still got a slight warming sensation.

I mindlessly pick the lock on the gate that leads to the familiar underground. Being home, the shock of it hasn't really passed me. The happiness I felt when I first left Megaton so far has dissipated and been replaced with nerves. Put yourself in my shoes, and tell me you don't feel nervous. Trust me, it's a nerve wracking experience. What do I say to him? I mean, I can't just walk up and say 'hello, how you doin' after five years of absence. How do I explain where I've been? How do I contain the anger I have towards him for not telling me he's alive? The noise of Mozart's Lacrimosa blocks out any noises that may signal danger. Just thinking of music, calms my nerves. Not as much as playing music, but I have to take what I can get, you know?

Tossing my cigarette at an empty Nuka-Cola machine, I continue on. The hymens of beautiful people singing a song I wish I could sing, blocks out. Instruments, play loudly in my head as I walk with my Pip-Boy light shining brightly. Without thinking, I let out the lyrics.

"Qua resurget ex favilla…"

My voice carried and it makes an echo. Hearing it like that, makes me smile. I haven't sang in such a long time, and I wonder if I'm still any good at it. Of course that's not something I should be thinking of at a time like this, but I really can't help it. Maybe, if Charon decides to come with me again, I'll sing for him in my new voice. Sing for him, and only him. But, if he doesn't come then…when I get back to Megaton I'll have Gob find me a piano. When he does, I'll still sing for Charon. I'll play Lacrimosa from memory, and I'll make sure, everyone can hear it just as I did in the small town by the shoreline. I'll play, and I'll play until my voice hurts and my fingers bleed. I'll play, for Charon, and only Charon. Looking around, I smile to myself, remembering an old song. A fire burns up ahead, but I pay it no mind. There was once a song, a song called Preliator. My music instructor in the vault said it meant 'Warrior' in a dead language. I can't remember the language, but I remember that song. And as I recite it in my head, I decide, that when I can play again, I will play it for Charon.

"Hey bitch!"

Well, so much for having a merry stroll down into the metro tunnels. Picking my head up, I stare forward and see five shadowed Raiders trying to be stealthy. This is easy pickings, seeing as how they look like near junkies and probably can't aim a gun to save their life. Pulling out my sawed-off, I decide since I'm highly outnumbered to not use the knife. Dying right now, on my way to see a mean I thought was dead, would be quite ironic now wouldn't it?

"I'm gonna rip your head off!"

One of them yells as they pick up a weapon. It looks like a nail-board, and I stop just a few feet shy of the opening.

"How can you rip my head off without one of your own?"

My question infuriates them, and they charge. If they were Super Mutants, which I haven't seen any of, I'd be worried. But they're just Raiders, despite how many of them there are. Cocking the gun, I hold it tight like I remember. It's so easy, to remember how to do this that it's almost comical. Squeezing the trigger, I let the bullets spray out. It hits the Raider, leaving only four of them for me to worry about. I click it again, and remember this isn't the modified sawed-off I once had.

"Shit."

Fumbling, I kick myself in my mental ass for forgetting something so vital. With the nerves of seeing Charon coupled with the nerves of fighting and adrenaline, my hands are shaking like a scared Molerat. I see a Raider run from the corner of my eye, but I don't pay attention as to where they're going. A gun blast echoes as I close my shotgun and prepare to aim it, this time with ammunition in hand. Raising it, I'm about to squeeze the trigger when I feel something hit me in the back of the head. Next thing I know, I'm face-first on the concrete, with my gun laying feet away.

"You wanna fuck with us, bitch?"

A male Raider grabs my hair, and I quickly come to my senses. I see the lead pipe he has in his hand, and know he hit me too lightly. He could have easily killed me with that thing, but chose not to for some reason. I know that reason.

"Fuck you!"

I yell and start to kick. A second Raider comes over and grabs my gun from the ground, which is perfectly fine. With a free hand, I drop the ammo and reach for the knife at my waist. Pulling it is easy, using it is another story. As I swing it upwards to hit the one who bludgeoned me, a third Raider comes over and gives me a swift kick in the torso. My reaction time and skills have very much dulled with my absence out here, and I should have been a lot smarter. Should have came with a ranged weapon, and not a one-shot.

"Give me that!"

The Raider who kicked me yells and swipes the knife from my hand. In my daze of pain, and being held in a compromising position by my hair and back of my neck, there's little I can do. The Raider holding my hair starts to drag me, but not without a fight let me tell you. I kick, and flail, and do all I can to get them to let me go. They just laugh, and that pisses me off even more.

"Got ourselves a little vault-dweller! We're gonna have fun with this one!"

One of them shouts as they drag me to the fire. I see someone grab a piece of burning wood from the fire, and I do the thing that you're really not supposed to do: panic. Kicking, flailing, screaming and gnashing my teeth at whatever I can gnash at, I put up a fight. I'm sure five years ago I'd never be caught by Raiders but here I am, dumber than dumb and probably deserving a kick in the ass for this.

"Let me go! Let me go I swear I'll fucking kill you! I'll kill all of you!"

I scream, pissed off to all hell and not liking the situation one bit. Who would? A masochist, I bet, but not me.

"Feisty one, aren't you?"

The Raider holding the red stick laughs, and I kick at him. He comes closer and closer to me, and I think. Closing my eyes and letting time pass as slow as possible, I think back to anything that could help me right now. Anything, that could give me an idea to get away from this situation. But I don't think of anything. I don't, and when I stall for just a second I feel the white-hot pain of the Raider pressing the searing stick to my skin. Flesh has a distinct smell, and it's a smell I know. I scream, in agonizing pain, for all the world around to hear. The Raiders laugh and laugh, as they pull the stick from my thigh. The fabric of the vault suit melts to my skin, no shock there, and I feel more pain as the stick is being pulled away, taking some flesh with it.

"Fuck you!"

I scream, feeling this sort of pain for the first time since I can remember. At least, before, I knew what to expect. I knew what it felt like to be shot, attacked, raped, burned, you name it I've felt it. But with the break my toughened skin has grown soft, and it feels worse than it did the first time I stepped out of the vault.

"I think she likes it. Shall we try again?"

The Raider holding me by the back of the neck laughs, and I close my eyes. I force my mind to go to a happy place. A place where there is no pain, no suffering, and no burning and numbing feelings on my thigh. Suddenly, though, my mind is broken. I snap from the happy place, as my legs and torso kick and squirm. The deafening noise of a gun blasting, makes me open my eyes. In front of me, the Raider holding the stick stands. Blood, spews from his mouth as he tries to talk, and there's a hole where his abdomen should be. Well, you can't see through it, but hell you might as well should be able to. I watch, shocked, as he falls to his knees.

The Raider holding me loosens his grip enough. I pull free and stand up. The pain in my thigh subsides for a moment, as the will to survive kicks in. Raising my hand, I ball it into a fist and knock him square in the nose. Blood sprays out, and I make a mental note as I grab his lead pipe to thank my savior.

Raising the pipe I bring it down on the Raider, and another blast echoes through the tunnels. That's three, and there's one more. I hear him running, and before I can grab my gun from the hands of the newly shot Raider who lays dying to my left, I hear one last gunshot, and his body falling down the steps. It's quiet for a moment, as I catch my breath and slow my racing heart. Man. I've missed the thrill, of a good fight.

Closing my eyes, I turn around as the natural chemicals of my body slow down. As I calm myself, and listen to the silence. Sighing, I let the lead pipe fall from my hands, and open my eyes. The pain in my thigh returns to me, but right now…right now, I don't give a damn about it. I don't really give much a damn about anything right now. In the shadowed darkness, lit only by a dying fire and the light from my Pip-Boy, stands a tired, and breathless Charon. It's been five years, and the hole where I stabbed him, is still fresh through his armor.

We stand in silence, staring at one another. So…so many emotions. I feel the tears flowing, but I don't register them. My hands shake so violently, that if I was holding my gun it would surely fire. I guess, this is what it feels like. To be so angry, and so happy at the same time. To have waves of disbelief and sadness, joy and triumph running and pumping in your veins all at once. I open my mouth to speak, but no words come out. Nothing. There's nothing I have to say.

Calmly, Charon puts his gun on his back and stands. He's not shaking, or crying like an idiot like I am. Instead he's standing calm, looking at me, and looking through me. I can't really contain myself anymore, and I run at him. I run at him, and wrap my arms around him. Around that familiar torso, around his hips, around the body that I use to hold every night so tightly. I press my head into his chest, crying, sobbing, and inhaling the familiar scent of him, of Brahmin and leather.

"You're…you're so stupid! You're fucking stupid!"

I wail out, holding the straps that keep the plates on his shoulder. With small fists, I hit his chest and cry. I cry because I'm so happy to see him, because I'm so sad that he left me. I hit him, because I'm so angry at him.

"Say something!"

I scream as I hold him. A part of me wants to let him go, but my body won't listen. Won't listen as I cling to his armor and cry like a maniac. Looking up at him…I cry more. Raising my hand, I touch his face. He feels the same, looks the same. The only constant in my life, the only thing that's ever stayed ageless.

"What are you doing here?"

His voice is raspy. It comes out monotone, the same way he spoke to me in the Ninth Circle. Charon stares at me, eyes swimming with blank emotions, and expressionless features. I don't want to believe this is him. He moves his hands, and wraps them around my wrists. The touch of him against me overloads my senses, and I don't realize in time what he's doing. Taking me hands off of him, Charon takes a step back and stares at me. Charon…is this…what you've become?

"Charon?"

"You were to stay in Megaton. You were not to come here."

How can he be so calm? No, no I knew this would happen I knew it. I just…I just never really expected it. I didn't prepare myself. I let myself believe…that somehow…he'd be the same.

"…I'm sorry…"

I say, feeling like a scolded child.

"Go back. Go back to Gob and forget you ever saw me."

"What?"

"You heard me."

That bastard. He turns to walk away from him, but the anger I feel gets the better of me. I grab a leather strap that goes through the metal plate on his shoulder and swing him around. Channeling the Dez I once was, I hit him as hard as I can in the face. I'm not sorry anymore.

"You bastard! You fucking prick! Don't walk away!"

"Let go of me."

"No! No fuck you!"

I go to hit him again but he grabs my wrist. He grabs both of them, and this just angers me even more. Tears run down my face, my body shakes, and I can hardly contain my emotions. I want to be calm right now, calm, rational and reasonable, but there's no way. There's no way, for me to be the mature woman I so proudly thought I was. When I'm around Charon, I'm no stronger than a little girl. Looking up at him through bleary eyes, his face is so unclear. How can he look at me, so calm and emotionless?

"Calm yourself. Return to Megaton."

"No! I can't take anymore!"

"Anymore of what?"

"This!"

I push him back, his hands slide from my wrists, and he lets me go. It may be, the last time he ever touches me. For a minute I think he's lost balance, and he'll fall backwards. But he doesn't, he catches himself and stands tall and straight, his eyes burning holes into me.

"I'm nothing without you! Nothing! And you stand here and tell me to go back? Fuck you! Fuck you!"

"Have some dignity. You are making a fool of yourself."

"To who, Charon? Who am I making a fool of myself to? We're alone! Am I making a fool of myself to you? Well I don't care! Then everything we've done together is foolish, stupid, and meant nothing!"

He folds his arms in front of his chest, and sighs.

"It is about time you realize that."

What? All of a sudden time sort of, freezes. I can't even hear myself think over the beating of my heart. Should I believe him? Is this heartless being truly the Charon who once held me so close at night? Who once held me while I cried, and fought alongside me even when the reasoning for that fighting was null? Outside, thunder echoes and carries down to the tunnel. Even underground, the noise above breaks through.

"…Everything…was for nothing, wasn't it?"

I say, my voice sore from screaming. It's soft, defeated, as I stand before someone who can make or break me.

"If that is how you wish to view it."

"Answer me!"

I put weight down on my left leg, the one with the burn. Pain rushes up through me, and I hiss at it. It distracts me, and I realize that this is the first time I'm wounded, and Charon does nothing to help. As much as I've changed, everything else…stayed the same. Charon stays silent, not answering my question or even asking if I'm okay. I have to question, if coming here, was the right thing to do. If this, was the choice I was meant to make.

"…Fine. I'll take your silence as an answer."

"And you will return to Megaton?"

I can't bear to talk to him anymore. I don't even want to look at him. Nodding my head, I stare at the ground next to him, while my hand covers the burn on my thigh. Another loud clap of thunder, and I hear the rain echoing from the outside. The river will get bigger. It'll flood, so I'll have to wait a bit, before I head back. I just…can't believe I was stupid enough to come out here. Can't believe, I thought things actually had a chance to go back. Or that, Charon actually needed my help.

"Very well. You should head back now, before the river grows too large. There is a strong current when it rains, and I do not think you wish to be caught in it."

"It wouldn't matter if I was, what the hell do you care? What do you care, about anyone except yourself?"

My eyes meet his, and for a second, I see the man he used to be.

"I never said I did not care. Simply said that you should return to Megaton."

"You said what we did was all for nothing."

"No, you assumed I did. Just as you are assuming I do not care."

"How can you care? You don't see me for five years, and then avoid me. Save my life and tell me to go home, as if you never cared or stopped caring. I thought at least…you'd be happy…to know I was alive and safe…"

Picking up the combat knife, I look at it. It's not stained with blood, it's hardly ever used. I throw it at his feet, uncaring.

"I don't need this. I don't know why I kept it."

Charon bends down and takes his knife. He doesn't even look at it, as he clips it to his waist where he always used to keep it. Where it was, the day I made that hole in his armor. Why hasn't he bothered to repair it? It's been so long, he should have had it fixed by now.

"I still care, Dez. I have always cared. It is time that does not."

"Time? What the hell are you talking about? Can't you talk like a normal person or does the brainwashing have your tongue again?"

"Just stating time has changed us. I am not the person you remember me to be, and for that reason I feel it is best we part ways. Accept it is over, and what we had is over."

"No. No, Charon. I can't accept it I won't."

"So tell me what you are going to do, instead of accepting it?"

"Get you back. This isn't you."

"No? Is it not me, because you dislike what I have become?"

"Exactly."

"Then would I not be 'me' persay, if I returned to the way I was? If I suppressed this side of me, to please you? Although you would not care, because you would be happy. It has always been that way. So long as you were happy, no one else mattered and there was no one more important. I see the time we spent apart has not changed you in the least. You are still the naïve and foolish girl you always have been."

"What do you know? You haven't spoken to me in five years! You let me think you were dead! Then you waltz on back into my life like nothing happens and tell me I'm the spoiled one!"

"You were the one following me. You are the one, waltzing into this."

"Shut up, Charon."

Wiping my face with the back of my hands, I try my best to look presentable. To try and look mature, and look responsible. He's wrong. He doesn't know anything, he wasn't around to know anything. He has no idea, of the pain I went through and yet he stands here, accusing me of things.

"Very well."

He turns to walk away. I let him get about halfway down the stairs before I limp after him, the burn in my thigh more severe than I thought.

"What can I say? What can I do, that would matter?"

Charon looks back at me, and shrugs.

"There is nothing."

I'm a mess. I'm a mess, but he chose me. In the beginning, of all the women he could have had, of all the ghoul-ladies he could have picked from, it was me he wanted. I'm that closet door, he can't close, and now I'm left open. Open, to what, though?

"Fix me. Just…just fix me so I can walk away. Everything…everything…is different."

I fall to my knees, because I can't take it anymore. I can't take, how much time has passed, and how different everyone is. Even Gob is different. He doesn't notice it, but I do. His way of talking, his stance, everything. Zack is nearly grown now, and he'll be venturing into the Wasteland soon on his own. When I left, he was still a kid. Gob still talked in slang, and Charon was still by my side. Now…I don't know. I'm the only one, who truly has stayed the same, and instead tried to disguise myself as being mature. Charon's right, I'm a fool, and I'm immature. Inside, I'm still a little girl, who cries out for attention.

"I'm sorry…I'm so…so sorry…for letting it…become this…for…for letting you walk away. I'm sorry I ran. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry…for everything. Please, Charon, please…"

"Do not beg."

"Everything changes…I want to turn it back. I want to…I want to turn it back. But…but if you just forgive me…for all I've done…I can…I can walk away. Please…I'm sorry. Don't…don't let it hurt anymore. Just make it better, please…please…"

I sob as I pound the ground with my fists.

"When…when it was just…just us…no one knew what…what we could do, Charon. No one, we were…so…it was…it hurts. Just make it stop. It's been so long, I don't want…I don't want to hurt anymore…"

"Stop crying."

"…I can't…it hurts…so much and…and I had no one to talk to and…just let me go back. Let me…go back to when…when it happened and I'll…fix it all. We could…stay there together…let me fix it. We can still…conquer the world please…I can't…"

Looking up at him, he stares down at me as I sit on my knees, in utter shame and despair. He has no emotion, he has no feelings. The only noise, is the noise of my sobbing and crying, echoing through the tunnels and letting every Raider and feral know my whereabouts. Soon, I hear the movement of his feet. He goes down the rest of the steps, as I keep my eyes tightly closed.

Charon walks, because I know, there's nothing I can say. Nothing, I can say to make him stay, because he's right. It hurts, beyond any other hurt I've ever felt. It has hurt, for years and more. Still, he never said, he forgave me. Knowing he doesn't, hurts more than him walking away. Instead of talking, I just sob, curled into a ball of pathetic emotions. The pain in my thigh, is nothing compared to the pain in my heart.

"…If you do not collect yourself, then you will be harmed."

I hear his voice from the bottom of the steps, and I look up. He stands at the base of them, staring up at me.

"…I don't…I don't…care."

"But I do. Stand up."

I shake my head and cradle my face in my hands. I've been running for five years. I don't want to run away anymore. I want to face this, fix it if I can. If I can't, I just want to know he forgives me, and that our past wasn't in vain. That at one time or another, Charon loved me. If I know that, then…then I can stand up. Then I can move on. Then maybe, if he wants, he can run with me. Because, for five years, his memory has kept me from falling out of love. If I ever believed in anything, it was love. Because time after time, it always brought us back together. Now, I don't know, what to believe in. I never wanted love to fail. Rain from above, drips down through the cracks in the pavement. It hits me on the top of the head, but I don't bother to move. After five years, I'm still just as much tangled up in Charon, as I always have been. Pitiful, isn't it?

I hear his footsteps, and in my state, I don't know what to think. Soon, though, I don't feel the steady stream of water cascading down on my head. Looking up, I see Charon standing over me.

"Stand up."

He grabs my arm and pulls me to my feet. My thigh jerks and I hiss at the pain. I guess I've lost tolerance. Charon stands a step below me, but I'm still not taller than him. We're almost the same height, and he looks into my reddened eyes.

"If you stay here, you will be harmed. Gather your thoughts, and go home. You have a good life now, Dezbe. You have Gob and Zack waiting for you."

"They're waiting for you, too."

"My place is not with them."

"Neither is mine."

Charon sighs, and shakes his head.

"I have to go to Rivet City."

I say, going out on a huge limb here. Charon looks at me, folding his arms over his chest.

"Why is that?"

"I have to talk to Barrows."

"I assume this would pertain to Zack?"

"No. It pertains to me."

The only display of emotion Charon gives, is the raise of an eyebrow. He says nothing, so I continue on. Hoping in a way, the past will bring him back to me. This isn't, the man I knew. It's not just because I don't like it, either. I know Charon, I know him and all the skeletons in his closet. I know, somewhere behind this cold person, is him. Truly him. I just hope I'm strong enough, to help him out.

"…Even if you don't, I want to pick up where I left off."

"I do not follow."

"I want a family. Doc Church in Megaton won't be able to tell me if I can do this or not. I need to know. I have to go to Rivet City."

"You are hardly the motherly type. How can you raise a child, when you cannot even take care of yourself?"

"Because for once someone will be more important than me!"

Charon shakes his head, and starts to walk down the steps. I realize how crazy that just sounded, and I kick myself in the ass. Slowly, I limp down the stairs after him.

"I want to know if I can. If I'm still able to after all my body went through. I want to know, that if one day I decide to have a family, it will be possible."

"And who do you think will start a family with you?"

"Someone. Someone, will love me enough, to want a child with me. Because…that's what you do, when you love someone. When you grow up, and care about someone else. You make a child, out of that love. Isn't that…how we all came to be? How me, and even you?"

Charon stops walking as I get to the last step. He doesn't look at me. For five years, I assume he's had no one around to push his buttons. Pushing his buttons, is the only way, to bring him out.

"When you were made, I'm sure your mom and dad didn't think anything horrible. I'm sure, that you, just like me, was created out of love. Even though they gave you up, and you had the life you did, they loved you. They loved you enough to go back!"

"And that was their stupidity."

"No it was their love! They loved you just like my mom loved my dad! Like Nova loved Gob and like every fuckin' person out here just the same!"

"My parents came here with very little and could not provide for me. Which is why they gave me up. I have looked into my own past, Dezbe. I know my own story."

"And think of how hard it was for her to do that! How hard it was for your mom, to give a stranger the only child she ever knew of! I can promise you she didn't want to hand you over. And I know, for a fact, if she knew what would have happened, she never would have let anyone take you away from her."

"And how do you come to this conclusion?"

"Because I'm a woman. Because I know…I know the ties, that bond mother to child, are stronger than anything in the world. It must have…must have killed her, to give you away."

Charon stands with his hands clasped tightly into fists by his sides.

"Just take me to Rivet City. I can make it home fine, but I can't be alone out here right now. I'll die. I have to get use to being out here."

He says nothing, but walks forward. I keep a distance from him as I limp behind. The air is thick, angry, and tense. I guess no one has ever brought up Charon's mother before.

"…Morten has something to do with the god of Mars, you know. Mars, is the god of war. She named you, I bet, because she knew you'd be strong."

"Enough about my past. I have spent five years digging it up I do not wish to speak of it."

"…But…you're Charon now. So I wonder, if I'm talking to Charon, or Morten? Was it Charon, who loved me all those years ago, or was it Morten? These are questions you should have asked youself."

He sighs, and stops walking. He lights a cigarette and sits down on the edge of an uprising. You know, the things that run on either sides of the tracks through the tunnels. I sit down, happy to take weight off of my leg.

"I did. I asked myself many things, in these years."

This is his way of saying, he will take me to Rivet City, and work with me. I knew this would be hard, but I didn't know it would be this hard. Stupidly, I hoped just seeing me, would be enough to bring him back. I can see now, Charon needs me more than he's ever needed anyone.

"…It must be hard for you. To go by training, or by instincts. I can't even begin to understand, what it takes, to fight those battles."

"How is your leg?"

I show it to him, but he doesn't make any movement to try and fix it. Right now, Charon and I are strangers to one another. We're no longer lovers, or even friends. That's okay, though, because all that matters is we're together. I don't know if he knows it, and if he does he won't admit it, but I can tell how badly he needs someone right now. There's a tired look to him, one that I knew all too well, when I returned from New Vegas. A look, that says it's time to be done, with the fighting and the wandering. A look, I had, for the past five years.

"You know, Charon, I never told you, but…I really did want a kid, too."

He looks at me, and I shrug.

"The idea of the two of us, giving a kid all we never had…was nice. I wouldn't have minded, raising a small family with you."

"You had five years to begin your own family."

"We both did. But we didn't, did we?"

"I do not know, which direction to go in now. I do not know, what it is you want from me."

I smile sadly. Sometimes, you come to a crossroad. Sometimes life takes you places, where you don't know what to do anymore. All I wanted before, was Charon to be alive and come back to me. Somehow my wish was granted and now…neither one of us know how to act, in the presence of the other. Maybe, he's right. Maybe it is over for us.

"I don't know what I want, either. Too bad time travel isn't possible, huh?"

Charon doesn't laugh. It don't look like he has, in years.

"I will take you to Rivet City."

"I know you will. You really had no choice in that."

"And I will tell you, that I forgive you. I never, held a grudge against you. I have always forgiven you, and I am sorry that I was not able to tell you this sooner. Perhaps it could have spared you some pain in your life."

I smile at him. He stares at his feet, a broken man from time and experience. My heart beats a bit faster, with just looking at him. I know it's stupid, and immature, and childish, but I'm still devoted to him. Still hoping, that maybe, we can rekindle what we had. I know it won't be easy, if it can be fixed, but things like this are never easy. You really have to fight for what you want, and I want Charon. I've…always wanted Charon. He's really the only thing, I like about myself.

"Whatever happens, between now and Rivet City, I'll be okay with it. If you want to leave, it'll be alright. If you want to stay, then that's even better."

"There was once a time, when I had hoped there was no end, to what you and I could do. That, was long ago."

"…Yeah. Me too. But, maybe we just needed closure."

"Perhaps."

Yawning, I lay down on the ground. Using my arms as pillows, I sigh. Charon might not be here, when I wake up in the morning, but that's okay. I guess, there's nothing I can do to fight it anymore. He can bring me to my knees, make me beg, and feel insecure, but…sometimes, you have to say goodbye. Maybe, if he's here when I wake up, I'll know what to do.

"I still love you, though. I always will."

I say, before falling asleep from exhaustion.