Thank you for the reviews they really help. I know my last chapter was very long, i just kept adding paragraphs because they needed to be in place for the rest of the story. So it ended up mega long chapter. Am so looking forward to the last episode. Praying Elena won't pick Damon! Please review. This is my 20th chapter can't believe it. Am hoping to hit 50 reviews. Happy reading.
Chapter 20
Boarding house 2 days later
Bonnie watched Damon pace around the bedroom he was like a caged animal, occasionally snarling.
Although this wait had started to take its toll on them all. The night Elena had gone back to the mansion, Damon and Stefan had gone but kept a distance from the house but close enough just in case, the swap had being very straight forward Elena had said. Barley any words exchanged, Rebecca never tried a thing. Elena had tried to apologise again for what had happened. But Rebecca had just asked her to leave.
Whilst they had being gone bonnie had being sorting some more herbs for Alaric, and doing some research through Emily's grimore, because she was the one who had created them. What she had found thought, wasn't what she wanted. And for 2 days she had kept it a secret, because it's going to hurt them, Elena and Jeremy, and Damon. She's being desperately trying to look for some other way buts it's not happening.
After giving Rebecca the stakes they had gone to get ric, so they could bolt themselves in doors and wait for Klaus. Matt's leaving tomorrow, but he's staying here tonight, Jeremy too as is Caroline and Tyler. It's for them to say good bye to matt. Not that this arrangement suits Damon. This is why there in here whilst Damon vents.
Damon can hear them downstairs talking about the bloodlines, wondering how to figure out who sired scary Mary. Also what they're going to do about Tyler's bond to Klaus. He wanted to be alone, but bonnie followed him, although she hasn't spoken. In fact she hasn't even looked at him. He stops pacing to study her. She is chewing her lip in a nervous way clutching her grimore.
"Ok witchy out with it, something's wrong, what?"
She gives him a weak smile, tears threatening to spill. Damon's puzzled and goes and sits on the bed pulling her to him. She whispers" i have to tell you something. Something about ric, you won't like it and i don't think i can stop it."
Damon looks at her intently, and then listens trying to understand her words through her sobs. His mind won't process it, he doesn't understand the feelings inside that her words have stirred. He should have known really that this is what it would come too.
Downstairs ric excuses himself and heads down to the basement, this is where he's sleeping on a night. Locked up so he doesn't try and sneak out murdering council members, or sly the vampire that sleep above him.
He's come down to take his daily herbs which he adds a dose of whiskey too. He spins round hearing a chuckle. "Elena you scared me, what's funny?"
Elena steps into the cell placing more blankets and pillows on the floor, a bottle of whiskey some chips and a couple of books. Smiling she says "it's just funny how you add whiskey to everything. I bought some more stuff down to make it well...more homely?"
They both laugh at this. But then Elena spots his ring on the selves.
"Why have you taken it off?" she asks
"Well because its evil, its making me evil, if i die again with it on makes me a little more evil. So i thought whilst am staying here under lock and key, with vampires around me so i don't die, i thought I'd have a couple of days off, see if it fades. I don't know we'll see.
Elena looks nervously away, but nods her agreement." I actually came down to ask you something in private."
Ric pats the bed beside him, so Elena sits. "i want to thank you for being guardian, am you shouldn't in anyway feel that had some fault in me changing. Besides i know now that i would have changed eventually. To be with Stefan always. And now where going to be married."
Elena smiles at this and ric smiles for her. But then she looks all shy and nervous again. And ric thinks doesn't matter what she is she's still Elena, this is what he's thinking when she asks "when i marry Stefan, will you give me away?"
Ric shocked and splutters "what about Jeremy? I mean yes of course, if it's what you want, yes I'll do anything to make you happy."
Elena smiles broadly and throws herself at him, they hug tightly Elena whispering her thanks.
Back upstairs Stefan has being listening and gives a little smile, when he looks up he sees Caroline smiling at him, guess she was listening to.
Matt and Jeremy are in the kitchen getting a bear sharing nachos.
"it's cool of Stefan, to get you set up in Chicago. I mean i know it's still working at a bar, but at least you don't have to make rent. Gives you time to look for another job or collage." Jeremy says stuffing his mouth with the nachos. He feels that nagging jealousy eat at him, because in Denver he was away from all this crap. Now Elena's a vampire things have changed again and he doesn't even understand what's happening with Alaric.
Matt watches him, and sees the flickers of emotion cross his face, it's easy to forget that really Jeremy's still young and had too much pain and grief in his life that have aged him, the words slip out before he can stop them, "move with me?"
Jeremy stops chewing and stares blankly at matt. Who shits uncomfortably, "i mean get away from all this, if you want. I thought you liked it in Denver, and like you said apartment free you could go to school there, get a part time job just to put toward the bill and that. But you know just a suggestion i know that you probably feel more of a pull here than i do. I just thought it might be easier somewhere away from where it's all connected. Plus you know that Elena and that will have to leave eventually."
Jeremy's eyes stroll to the living room, all the supernatural even his sister now. Matt's right he does feel a pull here but only for Elena, matt's his friend someone who wants to forget and be human just like him.
"i think i will i just can't come yet, i need to make sure Elena's ok. But your right getting out of this town is the best thing to do."
bonnie and Damon enter the living room has Jeremy and matt come back in but everyone is looking at bonnies tearstained face. Caroline flies up in rage but its matt who shouts" WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO HER?"
Stefan stands up and places himself between matt and Damon before anybody does anything reckless.
"he didn't do anything." Her voice breaking on the last word.
Everyone turns to look at Elena and ric as they enter the room laughing and talking about peach bridesmaid dresses.
They stop feeling the tension in the room, Elena takes in bonnies face and makes towards her.
But Damon sidesteps in her direction, he cocks his head towards the sofa, "i think you should sit down, you too ric."
Stefan half rises from the sofa, dragging Elena to him, and settling her on his lap, locking his arms around her waist, because he felt uncertain from the intensity of Damon's look.
Ric didn't sit, he just continued to stare at Damon. Caroline's head flickered back and forth.
"do you know something, is it Klaus?" Jeremy asks?
Bonnie can't hold her sob and Caroline goes to her. Damon rolls his eyes. " right well i don't think bon bons here is going to able to say, so i guess it falls to me to be the bearer of bad news."
"For Christ's sake Damon spit it out." Alaric hisses.
Damon's eyes find Stefan's again, who tightens his hold on Elena, then Damon's eyes lock with Alaric's.
"The ring has we know has bought you back to life, more than once. And each time its wore away at your pysici. Letting your dark side come through more and more. Creating your alto ego, these rings were created for council members to help them rid this town of vampire. Protect the town. Your dark side is angry that the founding families are apparently not doing their jobs, so you kill, with these killings your dark side is taking over, stronger."
Damon pauses to check that everyone is keeping up he then turns back around to bonnie, who's pulled herself together, she steps to Damon's side.
Whispering "am sorry Alaric, the herbs i made they only keep your bad side at bay for so long, but it's there growing in hatred, even hating the good you more and more. I've being researching through my grimore, Emily's actually and she states that the ring should only be used once to prevent it from happening in Jeremy's case that's true, because it was lizs gun that killed him the 2nd time, the ring didn't protect him. And as we found out every spell has a consequence. Like when i bought Jeremy back, he had a connection to the dead"
Jeremy steps down further into the room to stand by rics side, "what's rics consequence?"
The tension is at its peak at this point and all eyes lock on bonnie, who falter's under their intense gaze. Damon once again takes over.
"Even now you're not wearing it, the damage is done, and even if bonnies herbs keep the dark side bound, your own mind will begin to drive you crazy, make you doubt and once theses doubts occur the darkness can escape, until finally it will control you. Your alter ego hates vampire's ric, and vampire synthesizers. You will hate yourself, slowly driving you insane until...
"I'll want to kill myself" ric finishes for him. There are a few gasps, but mainly a shocked silence, Elena and Jeremy's eyes find each other. Ric reaches out and grabs Jeremy's shoulder turning him to him.
"do you understand what's happening?" Jeremy's gaze doesn't falter but nor does he show any sign of understanding. Elena pulls out of Stefan's grasp, the tears falling." Keep going with the herbs, stay downstairs, we'll look for a spell, there's always a loophole!" Elena's voice is high pitched, whilst she frantically looks for solutions. Ric takes Elena in an embrace, murmuring to her trying to calm her. He then draws back and says, "What they're trying to say is Elena, is that there's no running from it. And the doubt and question, the self-loathing it's already begun. Right now am a ticking time bomb, a threat to you, because this part of me loves you, his friends with him, the other part isn't i could be a threat to you. Elena i should die, before i hurt more, as punishment for who I've killed."
Caroline's eyes downcast, Tyler strokes her hair gently. Ric's gaze drifts to her has he says this, knowing he can never really apologise enough.
"THAT WASNT YOU, YOU COULDNT...
"Help it? That's what they're saying Elena but soon it will be me, i won't be me, and i won't feel for any of you."
"So were to kill you? or let you kill yourself? Jeremy asks in a toneless voice
Alaric looks at Damon, who coughs once again taking over the situation.
"No need to be so rash, he can stop taking the herbs, then we'll have a better idea of how much he's being taken over by."
"And then?" Jeremy asks, but now there's anger in his voice.
Damon doesn't answer there's no need.
Later that night
Matt and Tyler sit on the wall outside drinking beer, not really talking.
"It's good your leaving, i mean that's sounded wrong, good that you can get out of this mess. You know i didn't want to be a werewolf or a hybrid. Be sired to Klaus. I wanted to play ball and go to college, am glad that you're going to get out and live."
"because your not? At least you have care. You two need to look after each, in all this crazy messed up so called life. I feel like am cheating you know leaving when i should stay."
Tyler takes a swig shakes his head" nah man, we all want you to be safe, and i wanted wish this life on you, besides one way or another it will end soon."
Caroline sits on the sofa, looking for something comforting to say. But she can only stare blindly.
"Am weak, i should be able to do something, they're going to lose Alaric. How can this be happening?" the tears come for bonnie, and she hates this feeling a problem she can't fix.
"Bonnie you can't solve everything, they know you tried, and nothings set in stone yet. And right now we have to be strong foe Elena and Jeremy. We have to be thankful for everything we have, even when were angry and hope is lost. Were the good side, we have to win."
Bonnie lets Caroline take her in her arms as they both cry she whispers, "what about Alaric's good side, is he going to win?"
Stefan steps in to Damon's bedroom and places the whisky tumbler on the drawers. Damon's lent against the wall looking out the window.
"Do you think that will come to it?"
Damon makes no attempt to not understand Stefan. He shrugs in not bothered gesture.
"He'll be a threat, the enemy he won't be ric anymore."
"Don't Damon ok just don't."
Damon rises his eyebrows "what?" he demands
"Don't pretend that you don't care, that it doesn't bother you. Don't pretend that you don't care that it's your friend who's dying. And don't pretend that you'd be ok with being the one who may have to kill him."
Damon slams his fist into the wall his fury coming fast
"You know what you're right it's not ok, there isn't anything i can do to save him, i can't stop it and it will kill Elena and Jeremy, and that Jeremy hurting will hurt Elena more. The worst thought is before I'd even met ric I'd screwed his life up, your right it will probably be me too kill him, wont that be poetic. I mean I've already killed him twice which is what led to this, so i mean i should have no problem with doing it again right?"
Damon runs his fingers frantically through his hair, and then leans his head into the wall. Stefan comes up to him, he then slowly reaches out wrapping one arm around Damon, he leans his head on Damon's shoulder it's the closet to embrace they've had since turning, he whispers, "no matter how much it hurts, don't turn it off, remember how you felt, so you can hold on to it forever, remember ric, and how he became your 1st friend in over 145 years."
Down in rics cell Jeremy stalks around angrily. Ric stands against the wall, watching him. Elena s sat wrapped in a blanket.
"so this is it? And where suppose to be ok with it? Were suppose too let it happen?"
"jer nothings happened yet." Elena tries to placate him
"Elena... ric says in warning voice "look let me say, so then we can all understand and come to terms with it, if i don't die I'll want to kill you, you Elena are vampire you Jeremy co exist with them, this darkness its only acted out deep unresolved feelings. When the darkness takes over i won't be any more, and Elena am not Stefan don't try and bring out the good in me, it's too late."
"Yes but Stefan was ruled by...
"Yes blood i know, but am not, am not possessed or compelled, vampire have their human qualities e heightened, so with Stefan the goodness he was a human outshines the darkness of his vampire side. That's not the same for me. Do you think that am choosing this? Please try to understand do you think i want to leave you too? I want you both to be happy and you will be, once the threat of Klaus is gone and you won't have to be worried about me, you can live. Being in a family with you too has made me so happy, a purpose, i failed but i only want good things for you to promise me you'll look after each other? And when the time comes for me, well know that's it's what has to happen."
The following day
Matt stands outside the boarding house with a couple of suitcases, he doesn't have much.
Damon and ric sit on the wall drinking whisky, they haven't spoke about last night, they won't till its time. It's now a waiting game.
Stefan step forward and shakes hands with matt, "thanks man for this, I'll owe you forever!"
Stefan laughs at matt's over dramticness, "well matt forever's a long time, now I've had the money transferred into your bank account, the apartments furnished, but probably needed updating, here's the address of the bar it's not far from the apartment, i told him you'd be down Sunday to see him. I wish you the best, and you know where we are."
"Furnished don't be fooled matt, it's where he slept blacked out and ate, if you know what i mean?"
They all chose to ignore Damon's comment.
Tyler stepped forward next, the two former best friends stared at the ground uneasy for a few seconds, before matt grabbed in a hug, " i meant what i said take care of her, i don't hold anything against you too, i want you both to be happy, if she's going to be with anyone, it should be you. I can't be with her i couldn't keep up, and you can still play ball and go to college perhaps after this you should."
Once Tyler stepped back bonnie ran at him, he caught her scooping her up and twirled her. Once he set her down on her feet she said" i can't believe your leaving, I'll miss you, be happy matt. Know that I'll always be there for you."
Matt grins at her, his baby blue eyes shining. "I'll miss you too, you have no idea how hard it was to make this decision. Be safe and good luck taming the wild beast."
Everyone chuckles at this, and Damon makes a HAHA comment, Alaric lightly punches Damon's shoulder who just rolls his eyes. But reaches out for bonnie, cradles her in his arms.
Ric turns back to matt and says "good luck matt, be safe."
Matt just smiles and nods, he doesn't feel like there's anything he can say to ric, any words of comfort giving last night's events
Jeremy and Elena step forward the boys clap each other on the shoulder," so i'll see you soon then?"
Matt asks Jeremy, Jeremy eyes stay fixed on matt trying to block out elenas penetrating stare. He nods his agreement and steps back for elena.
They embrace tightly, Elena's tears run free, "I'll miss you so much matt Donavan. It would be selfish to ask you to stay, when i know I'll be leaving eventually, but I'll see you again right? I want you to be safe and happy that's all I've ever wanted for anyone. I didn't mean for you, for any of us to get sucked up in to this, am so sorry."
Matt stokes her hair and reassures her, "Elena your my friend, i wanted to help, but i feel if i stayed then i'd be a vampire, or just dead, don't get me wrong I'd rather you Caroline Tyler be vamps than nothing at all but I've got to give myself a chance. Your strong, look at what you've had to endure, you'll get through this, i know this for a fact."
Matt kisses Elena cheek softly, and pushes her back towards Stefan. Who holds her close to his chest whilst she cries her last tears.
Matt looks at Caroline, who stands arms crossed, he strides over to him and wraps his arms around her, it's only a minute before she crumbles, and returns the hug.
"you're mad i know, and am scared, but i need to do these things care, you're going to have a lifetime to do them. I can't stay and watch you leave. I want you to know that i loved you, but it would never would have worked, i would have had to turn to be with you, and answer me honestly would you have chose this is you had a choice?"
"no, i loved you to, but your still my friend go have fun, get married and have beautiful babies, that's what you were meant to do. I'll miss you, so much."
"You won't ever change or age for me Caroline Forbes, I'll always remember you this way." He leans in close and says in a voice that's barely a whisper. At his words her tears spill and her body trembles,
" Perfect"