CHAPTER 20: THE ROAD TO HAPPY

Thanks to Apple Kid I was off on the Road to Happy Happy Village, and I, myself, couldn't be happier. The I flipped the Pencil Eraser in my hand and put it back into my backpack. Armed only with a slingshot, and impromptu bullets, I walked north along the river.

It was an hour or so later, after walking up an incline, that I finally spotted the rope bridge I had been oh-so-waiting for. I ran up that last stretch, and suddenly realized how tired I was. I hadn't slept well since my journey began, days prior. I sighed and leaned against a huge rock, and stared at the river below. A waterfall was pouring down over a small cliff. The area where I had decided to take a rest was serene and just listening to the water rushing past; I wanted to take a nap.

"Hey buddy!" a voice came out of nowhere and I screeched like a little girl.

I spun, slingshot aimed and ready to fire when I found a man standing before me—none other than Mr. Journalist himself, complete with his scruffy blonde beard—which was growing longer every time I saw him. But WHY was I seeing him way out here in the middle of nowhere.

"You scared the heck out of me!" I said, still trying to catch my breath, "What are you doing out here!?"

"Well I offer a service!" he said, "Pictures taken instantly!"

"Of course," I rolled my eyes, and leaned back against the rock.

"You're here to offer me another one?" I asked, "Are you stalking me?"

"Yes, and no, my good friend—"

"We're not good friends…" I muttered.

"Oh come on!" he argued, "I'm a photographic genius if I do say so myself! Okay c'mon! Get ready!"

"Yeah, yeah," I said, still reclining. I stuck out my fingers in a victory sign and smiled, "Fuzzy Pickles!"

He snapped the picture and took it out of his old Polaroid camera. He shook the photo until it showed up and then handed it to me.

I nodded, as I looked down at it.

"What a great photograph!" he said.

"Say," I said, looking up at him, "Do you have any advice for making my way through the valley?"

"Why would I? I'm not an adventurer!" he said, turning to leave.

"Of course…" I mumbled and started for the bridge, but he stopped and looked back over his shoulder.

"I would watch out for the trees."

Then with that he turned and walked off towards Twoson.

"Watch out for the trees?" I asked the empty space where he had been.

What could that possibly mean? All that I could figure, was that maybe a there was poison sumac or something around. Or was it poison oak that grew on trees? I couldn't remember. I guess I should have paid more attention in science class.

I armed put the photo away in my back, with the others and proceeded to the rope bridge. I was long and looked flimsy, but I couldn't let that scare me. I had gone through too much to get to it. So I grabbed the rope handles on each side, and took my first step. Right away, the old wood swayed beneath my feet, and I gripped the ropes even tighter. It's not that I couldn't swim—but I couldn't swim well. If I fell into the water below, I was likely done for.

I took my next step, and the bridge swayed again. I panicked and hugged the rope, and the bridge nearly threw me off.

"Calm down!" I whispered to myself.

I slowly released my grip and balanced out, holding both sides once again. With each careful step, I made my way further across.

"Come on," I whispered, "Just a bit further."

Of course that was a lie—I had barely gone four steps, and still had a dozen or more to go.

"This isn't fair," I whined, "Someone should have to do this for me!"

Finally I grew tired of my own complaining and fear. I narrowed my eyes and targeted the ground on the other side. I was going to make a break for it. I took a deep breath and counted.

"On three… one… two… two and a half—three!" I cried, and ran forward.

The bridge rocked insanely under my feet, and I could barely keep balance at all. Finally I was within distance, so I leaped. As I kicked off, the bridge turned nearly on its side and I slipped. I flew through the airs, my arms and legs splayed out. But to my great luck, for once, I landed spread eagle on the grassy other side.

"I'm never… doing… that… again," I said in between breaths.

When I was able to breath clearly again, I rolled onto my knees and stood back up. I looked back at the bridge with a scowl.

"I hate you and the tree you came from!" I spit.

Of course the bridge didn't answer.

I turned and walked off into the valley. There were many highs and many lows as I went. Up and down, in between rocks, over boulders, and under the occasional tree. I spotted several more of those annoying tiny UFOs, but I never got within range of them. They caused me to lose my bat, and I wanted all the revenge I could get, but I needed to focus on rescuing Paula.

As I made my way, I truly began to wonder if I'd ever find the tiny little village of Happy Happy. Would it just be out in the open for me to see? If Giygas was behind Paula's kidnapping, and surely she was—he would know for certain one of the other three heroes would be coming to save her. So surely, it had to be a trap.

I didn't contemplate further, because when I came over the next hill, I heard an electronic screeching. I stopped, and dropped to all fours, peering down before me. At the bottom of the hill—and in the middle of my path—were a group of several objects that looked like big, silvery, chess pieces. They all stood there, slowly spinning. I could easily hear that they were the source of the screeching sounds. But what were they? I needed a closer look so I could determine if they were dangerous.

So I crawled forward in the grass on my hands and knees. I started down the slope, trying to hide behind a large oak tree.

"What are you?" I whispered, peering closer.

I counted them, one by one, and sure enough there were eight total. They screeched and screeched, and it was beginning to eat at my nerves—like nails on a chalkboard.

BZZZZZ

A buzz came from behind me, and I turned around just in time to see a tiny UFO flying straight for me.

"CRAP!" I cried, and threw up my slingshot, firing a bullet off.

Somehow I was able to hit the target dead on, and it flew out of control, a small fire sparking to life in its rear. I ducked just in time, and it crashed into the oak tree, blowing up into a small puff of smoke.

"Phew!" I breathed.

But I noticed the screeching below had stopped. I stared, expecting something bad to happen, but the silvery statues didn't do anything.

"My luck today is astounding," I said with a smirk.

As I lay in the grass, something began to creak nearby. I glanced over to see a root of the three sticking out of the ground. I hadn't noticed it before. I shook my head, and looked back to the spinning statues. They still weren't moving.

"I guess it's okay," I said, "They would have done SOMEthing by now if they were hostile."

I stood up and took a step forward, but the long grown of creaking wood came from behind me. I turned around and a tree branch snapped forward, whacking me in the chest. I tumbled onto my back, and skidded down the hill a few feet—the wind knocked from me.

I stared up with huge eyes, at the Oak which was now moving toward me, its roots pulling it forward and its branches swaying above it.

"Watch out for the trees…" I muttered, "Is EVERYTHING alive and trying to kill me now!?"

I pulled out my sling shot, and fired a bullet at the tree. A groan came from it, as if it were crying in pain. Then a branch whipped down at me again, but I rolled to the side. I fired another shot, and this time the branch snatched the pellet out of mid-air. I gasped as it flung it back at me. I barely was able to move my head an inch out of the way, and the bullet struck the ground where my brain had been a moment earlier.

"Not fair!" I cried, and scrambled to my feet.

The tree whipped out again, but I had had enough.

"ROCKIN!" I yelled.

The huge blast of energy shot forth from me and struck the tree, which immediately stopped moving, and all of its branches fell to limp, almost as if it were made of rubber.

"HA!" I laughed, "Take that you stupid Oak!"

I smiled, and turned around, and started down the hill, but the tree suddenly howled. Slowly, I turned around, to stare at the tree—how had it survived the Rockin' attack!? It couldn't be strong enough to withstand such a thing!

But the problem wasn't that it had withstood it. The tree was beginning to glow orange in the cracks, in between its bark.

"What the heck?" I asked, tilting my head to the side.

The orange light within grew brighter, and dimmer, brighter and dimmer. It wasn't until several seconds later I realized what was about to happen.

"It's going to blow!" I cried, but it was too late to dodge.

KABLAM

The Oak tree exploded in a fiery blast of branches, burning leaves, and flaming bark.

"SHIELD!" I was barely able to cry.

The shockwave was so strong I was sent flying down the hill. Only my quick-thinking psi-shield had saved my life. My back hit the grass and I tumbled, rolling and bouncing. The world stopped spinning a few moments later as the electronic screeching returned. I opened my eyes, and looked up to find one of the spinning statues right above me, a red eye glowing in its very top.

I climbed to my feet, and back up, and hit another of what I realized to be spinning robots.

"Mommy." I whispered.

A laser shot out of the first robo, and flew over my shoulder, hitting the next one. But instead of taking any damage, it reflected and bounced off into another. Before long another laser was fired and I dodged this one as well—but it bounced again and again. I ducked and it burned through the bill of my hat. I cried out as another laser and another fired. They were bouncing and reflecting all around me.

"SHIELD!" I cried, as one finally came to strike me.

The shield blocked the laser, but the force of the hit pushed me back a step. I held my hands before me, holding up my shield with all my psychic energies, but they came repeatedly and continued pushing me back. My energy was quickly draining and I could see the clear-blue shield fading.

"Shield!" I cried again, and continued being forced back.

Soon, I ran out of room to be pushed. I looked back as the back part of my foot hung out on the side of a cliff. This drop off was worse than the other river to the west—and the water below ran even faster and more out of control. It looked like a white-water rafting adventure, and I was without the raft-Up a certain kind of creek without a paddle.

"Shield!" I cried one last time as I was blasted over the edge.

In mid-air I flipped to face the dark water below and I cried out. I slammed down into what must have been a shallow part, and struck my head. Everything burst into white light. Despite lying in a shallow pool, I wasn't able to struggle against the current. It pulled me forward slowly. I tried to grab a rock and hold on, but the psychic shield and the hit to the head had my fingers useless. I closed my eyes, and tried to think of the healing power—I tried to summon it to help me—to save my life.

But all I could hear was Paula's voice in my mind, calling my name. She pleaded for help. I tried my hardest, but it just wasn't enough. I was pulled into the cold, dark water, and I didn't think I would ever wake up. I was sure, that the icy tomb would be my end.

"I'm sorry, Paula," I whispered and was dragged away toward my doom.