A/N: Okay, so they're engaged, expecting a baby and now have to break the news to two other children and get over everything that's happened to them in the last couple weeks. Should be easy, right? Let's find out! As always, please read and review. Love, Nicole
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Jes slept peacefully and easily when they brought her back to her room. The festivities, walk and excitement of the evening had tired her out. Alec and April had insisted that it was normal for her to be this tired.
"How so?" Antonio asked.
"She's been through a lot, Antonio." Alec said, pulling him from the room so Eva and Diego wouldn't hear. "Being tased, beaten, raped… it takes a lot of energy out of the body… not to mention the baby." He looked to the kids. "Have you guys told them yet?"
"We wanted to but between them getting the news that their biological mother was murdered, seeing their… their step-mother in the condition she is… it was hard… they insisted that I propose tonight so that they had some happiness today." Antonio sighed. "Alec, all of this is so much."
"Antonio, I wish I could tell you that this will get easier. I can't. After Jules… the kids… it's a lot." Alec grasped Antonio's shoulder. "You have someone great in your life, Antonio… you and Jes… you're getting a fresh start. The kids are going to adjust. They'll never forget Laura and they know that Jes isn't trying to replace her. Kids are strong and resilient. They're probably going to have an easier time adjusting to all this than you."
"What do you mean?"
"Antonio, as much as you and Laura were at each other's throats at the end, and your marriage crumbled, but you spent 20 years with her. Twenty years of your life with someone, it's a lot of time."
"How…"
"Antonio, I'm a doctor… I'm a widower and I'm your friend. You and Laura brought the kids over or had our family over more times than I can count. I saw how you felt for her, but sadly I saw that near the end… after Jules… Laura… she changed."
"Alec… is there something you're trying to tell me here, bro?"
"Laura… I … she starting stepping out on you… before you got shot… the second time. I saw her leaving some hotels… and I just…"
Antonio fought back the urge to punch his friend right there. He pulled Alec into an empty room. "You knew my wife was stepping out on me, and you… you said nothing?"
Alec hung his head. "I'm not proud of what I didn't do… I was still mourning the loss of my wife… the mother of my children… I didn't want to get involved. I just wanted to move on… to give… to give my kids some form of normalcy."
Antonio ran his hand over his face. "I'm… I'm sorry, Alec… I didn't… I don't know anymore."
Alec pulled him into a hug. "Don't be. Antonio… I know that this isn't easy… but you have Jes, Eva and Diego. You have a family… a family that needs you in the here and the now… you can't live in the past… you can't, Antonio. Don't let those ghosts ruin what you have with them… with the new baby."
Antonio sighed. "You're right."
"Mourn your loss, Antonio." Alec said. "Just don't let that pain ruin what you have with Jes… I think Jay and Voight would personally hang you out to dry if you did something to hurt her."
Antonio laughed. "You have no idea… Jay… he walked in on us… before he knew we were seeing each other."
"Oh…oh!" Alec shook his head. "That's… I can't even begin to describe how that could've been. Go be with her and your kids… and congratulations on your engagement."
"Thank you." Antonio extended his hand. "Uh, can I take her home tomorrow?"
"Yeah." Alec shook his hand. "She can go home tomorrow afternoon. Just make sure she rests, and you guys find an OB so the pregnancy can be monitored."
"You got it. Thank you!" Antonio turned and returned back to Jes.
Alec sighed and went about his rounds. Life in Chicago was never easy.
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"Hey guys." Antonio whispered. "Everything okay?"
"Mom's out like really out." Diego said. "Is she really going to be okay?"
Antonio nodded. "Yeah, buddy. She's going to be fine. She just needs time to heal. Same as me."
"Is this really over, Dad?" Eva asked.
"Yes, Eva. Uncle Jay got the guy… the others are all taken care of… the man that hurt Jes is dealt with."
"Did you deal with him?" Diego looked up at his father.
"Diego."
"Dad, come on… we're not that little anymore. We know…we know that things with Uncle Hank don't always follow the rules."
"Uncle Jay and I made sure he knew that what he had done was definitely wrong. Uncle Hank and Uncle Al… well… they were the ones that were there when we left."
Eva and Diego knew that it was highly unlikely that that man had left breathing. They weren't going to push Antonio any further. "Got it."
"So, um… I spoke to your Aunt Sofia." Antonio coughed a little. "Um, your mom's memorial service is going to be in a couple days."
Eva threw herself into his good arm. "Dad… I don't… I… I…" She wept.
"Shhh." Antonio rubbed her back. "I know… I know that you miss her. I know that the last few months have been really hard, and that this… nobody ever wanted this. I may not have been with your mom anymore, but it doesn't mean I didn't care."
"I know, Daddy… but it… what are we supposed to say? Do?"
"Eva, I may not be in your mom's family's good books, but they said they really want us there. They know that your mom died doing what she could to keep you safe."
Eva sniffled. "Did you read the note she left us?"
Antonio shook his head. "No. It's not for me. Did you guys read it yet?"
Eva shook her head. "I don't know if I can… what if she said horrible things about Jes… or you… or…"
"Eva… don't… don't think that way. I'm pretty sure your mom wrote something other than that. Trust me." He kissed her forehead. "I won't push you guys about it."
"Thank you, Daddy." She kissed his cheek. "Um, where are we staying tonight?"
"Uh… I hadn't thought about that… I've been staying with Jes. Um… I'm going to see if maybe Tia Gaby or Tio Javier can come get you and you guys can come back tomorrow to take Jes home."
"She's coming home, for real?" Diego asked looking up from Jes' hand. He was holding it; worried that if he let go, she'd slip away.
"Yes. Alec… Dr. Willhite said for sure Jes can come home tomorrow afternoon."
"Thank God." Eva sighed. "Dad… can you read the letter with us? Before we leave?"
Antonio felt tears building. He nodded. "Yeah, baby. I can. Uh, let's let Jes get some rest…" He led them to the quiet room that was next to Jes' room. He signaled to April, who nodded. He knew she'd be there in case Jes woke up. He didn't want her to wake up alone. "Here we go." He closed the door.
The kids sat on the floor next to the old rocking chair that was in the corner. Antonio took the letter from Eva. He slowly opened it and began to read.
"Eva and Diego… my dearest children." He took a deep breath, knowing he'd have to be strong for them. He continued. "I know that your father and I had a horrible falling out and we, well, I put you guys in the middle. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that I haven't been there for you these last few months. If you're reading this, it means that I've been found and I'm no longer alive. There are so many things that I want to tell you. So many things I want to see you do and accomplish. I'm sorry I won't be there to see you graduate; get your degree in whatever you want to follow. I'm sorry I won't be there to see your first love, your first heartbreak… your weddings… your babies. I know that I'm going to be missing so much and I know I've missed so much already. Please know that I never meant to hurt you. Please forgive me. Now, I know that your father has met someone else… and that it's serious. I know that she may not be your blood, but Jeslyn is a great woman. I couldn't ask for anyone better to be taking care of you. Whatever you hear in the coming days, weeks, months or years… know that I only did what I did to keep you safe. I'll miss you both so much. I love you, so much. I always will. I will always be there for you, even if you can't see me. I love you, Eva and Diego. Know that… I loved you before you were born and I'll be waiting to see you again one day. Until then, know I'm always watching over you. Be good to your dad. He's a strong man. I took advantage of that strength. Always listen to him, and to your new mom. They may seem harsh at times, or you may feel like they're not doing what's best for you… but they are." Antonio's voice cracked as he saw the last words. The words to the book they read to the kids each and every night from the time they were born until they stopped asking for bedtime stories. "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living… my babies you'll be. Love, Mom."
The letter fell from his hands as he wept. Antonio Dawson had lost everything and gained so much more in the last year than he had in his other thirty-five years.
Eva and Diego openly wept. Antonio slid onto the floor between them and pulled them to him. He hummed a gentle melody. The three of them sat on the floor and cried together. Alec walked by the room and saw. He looked in on Jes. She was still asleep. He sighed. 'They must have read the letter.' He thought to himself. He left the floor; he needed to check in on his own children.
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The next morning came. Antonio, Eva and Diego had never left. April had gotten a couple extra blankets and pillows. The kids slept in the staff room. Normally, Sharon Goodwin wouldn't allow it, but she knew what the entire family had been through. She arranged for everything to be taken care of. She herself spent part of the night keeping an eye on the Dawson children. She arranged to have breakfast for all for of them to be brought to Jes' room while she and Alec worked on the paperwork to discharge Jes.
"Mom?" Eva asked.
"What is it, sweetheart?" Jes asked after finishing her breakfast.
"Will you be coming with us to… to… the memorial?" Eva's voice wavered as she tried not to cry.
"I don't know if that's a really good idea, sweetie." Jes said, taking her hand. "I didn't know her and…"
"Think about it." Antonio whispered. "We won't force you, but the kids may have a little easier time if you're there."
"I'll think about it." Jes nodded. "Diego… is everything okay?"
"I was just wondering something."
"Shoot." Jes smiled. "I can answer to the best of my abilities."
"Um… well you're going to marry Dad."
"Yes, Diego. I am."
"And then you'll be our official step-mom."
Jes nodded. Neither Antonio nor she knew where Diego was going with this.
"Will you and Dad have other kids?" He finally asked.
Jes' jaw dropped and Antonio stared at him. "Uh, buddy… where's this coming from?"
"Just remembering some of my other friends… whose parents got remarried."
"Diego… are you scared that if your dad and I have another child… that you wouldn't matter anymore?" Jes asked softly.
Diego nodded. "Yeah… uh… some of my friends… when their parents remarried and they had other kids… my friends kinda didn't matter as much anymore."
Jes had known all of this already. Antonio had mentioned it when they first found out they were going to be parents. "Sweetheart… look at me." She tilted his chin up. "Diego, your dad and I will never, ever do that. You are important to both of us… even if we did have kids together… you'd be their big brother and big sister. You are family. Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten."
"Did you just quote 'Lilo and Stitch'?" Eva asked.
Jes laughed. "I guess I did. I love you guys. I may not be your biological mom, but that doesn't matter. A mom is someone who cares about you, and listens when you someone to talk to and is always there no matter what. You're never going to be alone or forgotten. Ever."
Diego hugged her. "Thanks."
"Would you guys be okay if we did have another baby or two?" Antonio asked carefully.
Eva nodded. "It would be kinda cool to have another little brother or sister."
"I could have someone to do science with." Diego pitched in.
"Or I could have someone to do girly stuff with." Eva smiled.
"What about me?" Jes asked. "We can't do science or girly stuff?"
"Yeah, Mom, but it's not the same as teaching it to someone else. It's why we like hanging out with some of the younger kids at P2K. It's because we can teach them things."
Antonio looked to Jes. She nodded. Maybe now was the time. "Hey, guys… um… let's all sit and we should probably have a little chat."
Eva grabbed the chair and Antonio sat on the foot of Jes' bed. "Jes and I found out some things the last couple days. Turns out this whole thing revealed a lot more than we could've ever imagined." Antonio took Jes' hand. "You see… about six years ago or so… Jes was told she could never have kids of her own."
Eva gasped.
Antonio continued. "When Dr. Willhite was examining her after we found her… he found something out."
Jes took over. "I… well… you guys are going to have a little brother or sister a little soon than we would've thought."
Diego looked between Jes and his dad. "You're pregnant?"
Jes nodded. "It's very much a surprise… we definitely didn't plan this. We wanted to tell you last night… but with everything that happened…"
"That's so cool!" Eva exclaimed. "Wait… is the baby okay? Did they hurt it when they attacked you?"
"The baby is fine… actually here." Antonio pulled out his wallet and took out a copy of the ultrasound still. "This is your baby brother or sister."
Diego took the still from his dad's hand. He was in shock. "So… we're really going to be having a new baby?"
"Yeah, buddy. But like Jes said… you guys will always be on the same page. There won't be preferential treatment. We will love you and the baby the same, because you are all going to be our children." Antonio hoped that they would take this well.
"Wow!" Diego handed the picture to his sister. "Uh… when is he… or she going to be here?"
"Nine months, give or take… we're just just pregnant." Jes said. "Um, but the thing is… you guys can't tell anyone yet. The uh next couple months… they're hard because it's during that time that if something's going to go wrong… it will."
"So we can't tell anyone?" Eva handed Antonio back the ultrasound still.
"Just for now. We're going to tell everyone New Year's Eve." Antonio smiled. "Are you guys going to be okay with that?"
Eva nodded. "Yeah. It's a lot… but we're family. Family always sticks together, no matter what."
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Jes was discharged around 4 o'clock that afternoon. There were many well wishes and a shrewd of balloons and flowers. April had given her another stuffed animal, this time a purple elephant. She had attached a note saying it was for the baby. Jes took the note and hid it in her pocket. Jay, the kids, Jacquie, Gaby and Antonio had all come to bring her home. Alec and April brought her down to the exit where her family was waiting for her.
"You guys really didn't all have to come to bring me home." Jes said.
"We wouldn't have it any other way." Jacquie smiled. "Plus, we're the only ones who know the whole story."
Eva looked to Jacquie. "You know about the baby?"
"Yep. Everyone here knows, and we're the only ones." Jes smiled.
"Well… actually there's one more." Antonio gritted his teeth.
All heads snapped around to face him. "What do you mean?" Jes asked one eyebrow arched.
"Javi cornered me… before we went upstairs… I told him."
"Antonio!" Gaby screeched. "He's going to tell his wife… our mother… oh God. Why!?"
Jes stifled her laughter. Antonio and Gaby turned to her. "What's so funny?"
"I'm the one who should be mad and I'm not… not really." She snickered. "Though, if he blabs, well… we'll bury him in a field somewhere." It was then that she noticed that Antonio wasn't wearing his sling. "Uh, did you get clearance to drive?"
Alec laughed from behind her. "As long as he doesn't do any heavy lifting, he's okay to drive. Just don't expect him to carry you over the threshold just yet."
"We're not married yet, Doc." Antonio reminded him.
"I know. Good luck you guys!" Alec said. He stopped before turning around. "Hey, Antonio… would it be okay if I asked Eva to come watch Emmy and Liam from time to time… they ask about Eva and Diego from time to time."
Antonio turned to Eva. "What do you think?"
"I'd like that." Eva smiled. "I'd really like that."
Antonio helped Jes out of the wheelchair and into the truck. He took the pillow that April had been holding, putting it as a cushion between the seatbelt and Jes' ribs. The kids took all Jes' flowers and gifts and put them between themselves in the back of the truck. Antonio climbed in the driver's seat and pulled out of the parking lot. Jay drove Jacquie and Gaby to Antonio's. Luckily, Gaby had worked with a group from Firehouse 51 to fix up the damage to Antonio and Jes' home. Antonio had also given Matt free reign to fix up the basement so that Jes would feel comfortable again. It was going to be a long road for Jes to recover, but Antonio was willing to take the time so that she would be able to live for the future and not be haunted by the past.
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They arrived in short time. There was a huge banner across the porch that read: "Welcome Home Jeslyn!" The entire Intelligence team was on the front lawn with the rest of Antonio's family and a few members of Firehouse 51.
"What's everyone doing here?" Jes asked.
"Well, it turns out… you're an even bigger hero now." Antonio whispered. "The front lawn was turned into a shrine to you."
"What do you mean?" Jes didn't see a shrine anywhere.
"We had it moved to P2K. We also made it known that we want nothing to do with the press and that you just want to return to normal." Antonio took her hand. "Even the Mayor has issued that our family is off-limits for questioning, interviews or being pestered."
"I didn't do anything though." Jes looked back out to their home.
"Jes, you survived… and you are very important to Chicago… not just us… the whole city."
"Next thing you know they're going to want me to run for mayor." Jes laughed.
"Would you?" Antonio asked in all seriousness.
"Fuck no!. I hate politics."
"Baby… what's really bugging you?" He asked.
"I just… I… I don't know if I can go in there." She was shaking.
"Mom…" Diego said from the back. "Dad… dad asked for Uncle Matt and Uncle Jay and some others to fix it… so it wouldn't remind you of the bad stuff."
Jes looked between Diego and Antonio. "You did that… already?"
"Yeah. They've been working non-stop since we found you. Everything is to what you would want."
"How do you know how I want my dream house?" She asked.
Antonio smiled. "Because Jacquie told me. She mentioned how you'd always wanted a specific layout… so I asked Matt to do the repairs. There's a little more that needs to be done, but you know what… we're going to be gone for a month or so and that'll give him the time to finish up. Now, milady… I think we should go inside before we waste an entire tank of gas just idling here."
"Agreed!" Eva shouted from the back seat. She bolted from the truck, arms loaded with Jes' treasures.
Diego was soon behind her. Antonio killed the engine and got out. He went around and opened her door. She handed him the pillow and he helped her out of the truck using his good arm. Once she was on the ground, Antonio helped stabilize her and gave her his arm. She slipped hers through it and together they walked to the crowd of friends and family that were waiting for them.
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"So, when are you guys all heading out?" Matt asked.
Antonio shrugged. "If I had my way, we'd be gone already… but Alec said she needs to be here a couple more days then we can leave. I booked our flight for the 19. We leave on the red eye… a quick layover in Toronto and then we'll be there in about 3 hours from there."
"How long you gonna be gone for?" Matt took a sip of his beer.
"I'm on leave for a month… minimum… Voight said to take whatever time I needed with Jes to recover." Antonio took a sip of his beer. "We'll be back in the New Year. In time for things to settle down, and Jes can go back to P2K."
Gaby joined them. "She's going back?"
Antonio nodded. "She doesn't want to abandon them. She wants normal again."
Gaby looked to her future sister who was chatting with Jacquie while teaching Vinessa how to braid Eva's hair in a true French braid. "Is she going to be able to achieve that?"
Antonio glared at his sister. "If anyone can do it, it's Jes. She's got more strength and faith than any person I've ever met. She needs time, yes, but it doesn't matter how long it takes. She'll get back to her regular life and she'll be stronger than ever."
"I don't doubt it… just…"
"Gaby. Drop it." Matt intervened. "I think Antonio and Jes know what's best for them and their family."
"Thanks Matt. Now, I have to go and make sure she's taken the meds that Alec prescribed." Antonio went to check on Jes.
"Gaby, what the hell was that about?" Matt asked as he opened a beer.
"You wouldn't understand."
"Try me, Gaby. We were going to get married. You used to tell me everything… I… I still love you, and one day… if we can work through all this… I want us to go back to that." Matt took a sip. "What's really going on? Why don't you want Jes to go back to P2K… especially after all the hard work she's put into it?"
Gaby pulled Matt into the basement. She didn't want anyone else to hear. When she knew they were alone, she said. "Do you know what all happened to her?"
"Other than what I saw when we came in here to help get her out?"
"Yeah."
Matt sighed. "I know she was raped… Jay told us when he came to tell us she was okay. I also know they beat her and she's got a long road to recovery."
"She's pregnant, Matt!" Gaby snapped. She quickly covered her mouth after realizing what she had just said.
"What?" Matt wasn't sure he'd heard her right.
Gaby slid down the wall. "Jes is pregnant. She… she was told she'd never be able to have kids almost seven years ago… then they found out after this shit storm that she's actually pregnant."
"Uh… why couldn't she have kids?"
Gaby looked to Matt. "This can't leave here… Antonio will kill me… Jay too… probably."
"My lips are sealed, Gabriela." When Gaby heard him use her full name, she knew he meant it.
"She's been through this hell before. When she was 19… almost seven years ago now, I guess… she was raped by her then-boyfriend… he got her pregnant… and tried to kill her… he almost succeeded… Jacquie, Jes and Jacquie's sister were in the car when it flew off a cliff because the bastard had nicked the break line. Jes was six-months pregnant… you've seen enough car crashes to know what happens. She lost the baby… and was told then that the damage to her pelvis was too traumatic to allow for future pregnancies."
"Wow." Matt gasped. "And she's still pushing forward after all that?" Gaby nodded. Matt extended his hand to her and helped her off the floor. "Gaby, I don't think you have to worry about your brother or your sister-in-law. If she survived all that and has come this far, she's going to get through this. This time she's not alone. She's got an amazing family unit here, she has her friends and she has your brother. If I know anything about Antonio… it's that nothing stops him from keeping his family happy, healthy and safe."
"You're right." She hugged him. "I just… I don't want them to overdo anything… if she were…"
"So don't think that way, Gaby. Think happy thoughts. Help her plan the wedding. Help her with the kids. Don't sell her short. She's obviously a lot stronger than most people think."
"Hey, you two lovebirds down there?!" Otis shouted from the top of the stairs. "Antonio and Jes have an announcement to make."
"Is she far along enough to be telling everyone?" Matt whispered.
"No. 'Tonio and Jes agreed to wait until New Year's to say anything. That… that's the reason a lot of us were invited up there."
"Ah." Matt smiled. "Well, let's go see what this is all about then. Ladies first."
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"So Antonio and I want to thank you for everything you've all done for us in the last few weeks." Jes smiled. "There's no way to thank you enough for what you've done. Jacquie, thank you for taking in my fur baby until you come out for New Year's Eve. I really appreciate it!" Helping fix the house, which by the way… it's exactly how I've always wanted my house to look. I understand that there's still going to be work done while we're away on medical leave. I will find a way to make it up to you…"
"Keep the kids off the street with P2K, and we're even!" Chief Boden called from the back of the room.
"You've got it, Chief." Jes laughed. "I will be going back to P2K. I just need… a little time… uh… in case you guys weren't at Molly's last night… Antonio asked me to marry him… and I … I said 'yes'." She raised her left hand, the ring sparkled in the mid-afternoon sun.
The whole house erupted in cheers and well wishes. Antonio swore the walls were shaking. Demands were made to see the ring or to hear how he'd asked. "One at a time!" Antonio bellowed. "You can all get the juicy details after we're done our little speech here. Jes and I will be taking the kids back to her family farm in Alberta from the 19th to about early February. Doctors' orders for healing. We'll be spending Christmas up there with both our families, and as some of you already know… there is an invitation for some of you to come up for New Year's Eve where we can celebrate a whole new start to our lives. Jacquie has graciously offered to keep watch over our home here, as well as keep P2K up and running… and I think I heard some of you mentioned extra help out for her, which is greatly appreciated. I personally want to thank Intelligence and Squad 3 for bring Jes out of here safely… I owe you guys… big time!" He lifted his beer. "A toast… to old friends and new… to family… love… strength… faith… hope and the future and all it brings!"
"Here! Here!" There was a loud clinking as glasses and bottles toasted.
Jacquie stood up next. "I also have a toast… to the newly engaged… may your lives be filled with love, peace and happiness... and a ton of joy. You guys deserve it! To the happy couple!"
There was another round of cheers and toasts. As the noise died down, Jes cleared her throat. "Thank you guys. Um, I know that this has been a lot… for everyone… and I just want to… to thank all you… for your support… your love… and your undying devotion to family… whether it's by blood or by choice. We are all one family."
Soon, Contanza and Emanuel broke out the food that they'd been preparing since the wee hours of the morning. It was traditional Dominican fare along with some old time classics like burgers and salads. Everyone spread out and enjoyed themselves. Many of them women flocked to see Jes' unique ring, or to hear how he had proposed. The men just left them are, and talked in corners about the latest Blackhawks' game or the latest MMA fight. The kids ran around the backyard and were laughing. Even Eva and Diego found themselves laughing and running around. Their mother's memorial was the next day, and then they'd be heading out for a trip to bond with their family. While this was all a huge adjustment, they knew they'd never be alone. Whether it was their family that was always going to be there or their mother's spirit, they'd never be alone or without love.
*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*
After the last guest left, Jes was exhausted. Antonio propped up some pillows on the couch and then helped her lie across it. "Better?"
Jes nodded. "Yeah. I forgot how tiring it is to make a mini human being."
"Very funny." He smirked. "Lift up your feet, I'll give you a foot rub."
"Sweetie, you don't have to. You did all the dishes, cleaned up the mess our friends and family left and you dealt with getting my crazy cat to Jacquie for her to watch her while we're away… at least until she comes up and she'll brings her."
"Minion isn't that bad." Antonio whispered as he lifted her feet and sat on the couch.
"Says that gash on your arm." She turned and called. "Eva, could you bring me the First Aid Kit. Please!"
"Coming Mom!"
"Jes, seriously… it's not that bad… compared to bullet wounds."
Jes glared at him. "That's not even relatively funny after the last couple weeks."
Eva came in with the kit and handed Jes a damp cloth. "Dad has a twisted sense of hunour."
"I'm learning this, hunni." Jes smiled. "Thank you for what you guys did today. I really made coming home that much easier."
Eva gently hugged her. "We wouldn't have it any other way." She looked to Antonio. "You really should listen to her a little more. She knows a lot about this mom thing."
"I know, Eva. I know. I have the best family ever. Come here." He hugged his daughter tightly. "You and Diego should get ready for bed. We have a long day tomorrow."
Eva looked to Jes. "Will you come?"
"I'll see how I feel in the morning, sweetheart." Jes squeezed her hand. "One day at a time."
"Okay. Night!" Eva headed to her room. "Diego, Mom and Dad said it's time for bed."
Diego popped out of his room and came to hug them. "Good night. Love you."
"Love you too, buddy." Antonio hugged him.
"Sleep tight, Diego." Jes kissed his cheek. "We'll see you in the morning."
Diego headed off to his room.
"Jes, you don't have to come tomorrow. I know… it's not really conventional."
"I know, but the kids…" Jes sighed. "Oh! Right there!"
Antonio massaged her heel a little harder. "Just… don't make a decision until tomorrow morning."
"Did Laura's sister say anything about you going?"
"She said that while she wasn't happy that Laura and I ended it the way we did, I had been a part of more than half of her life… she said I should be there."
"Does Laura's family know you've… moved on…?"
"They do… doesn't help that well… you've been in the news a lot… and I've been with you."
"Ah. Would it be trashy for me to join you and the kids at your ex's memorial service?"
"I don't know anymore." Antonio switched feet. "It's really up to you, but I think the kids really want you there. You've been their rock."
Jes moaned as Antonio worked out a knot in her ankle. "Have you actually spent the night here since all this happened?"
Antonio shook his head. "No. I never left your side."
"Is our bedroom at least safe?"
Antonio reached over and squeezed her hand. "Babe, as far as I know they didn't go there, but if it seems off, we can move to the guest room until I get it changed."
Jes nodded. "Okay. Sounds good."
Antonio carefully got off the couch and helped Jes up. "Let's get some sleep. Whether or not you come tomorrow, it's going to be a long day." When they got to their bedroom, he slowly opened the bedroom door. "It looks the same as we left it."
Jes took a careful step in. Antonio was right. It was the same. She sat on the edge of the bed. "Can you help me change?"
"I thought you always slept in the nude at home?"
"That was before I gained a family… and I'm not really a fan of showing off the bruises those monsters left me with."
"Baby, they'll heal. I'm… I'm sorry." Antonio closed the door. "I wasn't…"
"Antonio, it's fine… I just need… time."
"I know." He knelt in front of her. "I'll wait. Uh… which pjs do you want?"
"Just grab one of the nightshirts from the top drawer." She sighed. "I'm sorry, Antonio."
He turned from the drawer. "For what, Jes?"
"All of this."
He went back to the bed and sat next to her. "Jeslyn, stop. Please. This isn't on you. None of it. We're going to be out of Chicago in a couple days and we can put this behind us. I'm here… to listen, to be a shoulder to cry on… to punch… whatever you need."
"Why would I punch you?"
Antonio leaned in. "Because anger is part of recovery."
"I couldn't hit you, Antonio."
"I'd rather have you hit me than you beating yourself up."
"Okay." Jes nodded. "Now, a nightshirt… as you've said tomorrow's going to be a long day."
Antonio grabbed the top shirt from the drawer and as he pulled it, an envelope fell from it. He picked up the envelope. "Uh, what's this?"
"I don't know." Jes cocked her head to the side. "What's the envelope say?"
"It's blank."
"Hmm. Well, give it here." She reached for it.
"I think I should make sure it's not going to blow us up…"
"Antonio, seriously?"
He nodded. He carefully checked the envelope before handing it over.
Jes looked over the envelope. She didn't recognize the stationary. She opened the envelope and pulled out the letter. Her eyes grew as she read the words.
'Jeslyn,
I know that this letter is probably going to be a shock for you to read. Especially because if you're reading it, I'm dead and I've just done horrible things to you. Things that I didn't want to do. I'm sorry. I know these may seem like empty words, but know that I never wanted to do it. I had to go along with him. He knew there was a rat, and I was trying to stay alive long enough to get Jay and Voight the information they needed to bring them down. I can only pray that I achieved that. I never meant for any of what you've been through to happen. Please, forgive me.
I know I was angry that Antonio had moved on, and that he loved you in a way that I envied. I took advantage of him. Love him. He is a great man. I've heard the great things you've done and I know you'll do even greater things for Eva and Diego. They adore you. I know I shouldn't be jealous, but I am. You have something with them that I threw away. Please, love them… show them that it's okay to stumble and fall. You're strong. I know that… despite everything you've been through, you will be the best role model for them. Be the mother they need. Be there for them. Be there for Antonio… whether or not he knows this, he's going to need some support. He'll blame himself. Please remind him that it's not his fault. I brought this on myself. I couldn't ask for someone better to love my children, or Antonio. Be their rock, you are a much stronger woman than I ever could've been. If I can make one request, please don't let my children forget my love for them.
I wish you nothing but love and peace. Forgive me and don't let Eva, Diego or Antonio blame themselves. Don't blame yourself either. This isn't on you. I could never blame the woman I'm trusting with my children. I'm sorry.
Laura.'
Jes gasped as the letter slipped from her hand. "Oh my God."
Antonio picked up the letter. "Babe, what is it?"
"Laura."
"What?!" Antonio read the letter. "Oh God. Baby… baby, please don't cry."
"But… Antonio…" Jes began to hyperventilate. "She… she…" She broke down and wept. "It is my fault."
"No… Jes… no." Antonio pulled her into his arms. "This isn't anyone's fault by the Office. This isn't even on her. You can't…"
"Antonio… I thought… she's… she asked me to take care of the kids… to be their mom…" Her breath was catching.
"Jes, you can't… stop… please, baby… I don't want to have to take you back to Med." He pleaded. "This is too much… I think you should stay home tomorrow…"
"No!" Jes exclaimed.
"Jes… you can't risk a trip back to the hospital."
"I… I can't deny her request."
"Jeslyn, baby." He caressed her cheek. "I love you… I do, but I don't want you to get upset like this. It isn't your fault."
"I know… I know… but the kids… they… we all need each other. Antonio, please… if they ask me to leave then I'll leave, but I want to be there for the kids… and for you."
"Jes…"
"Laura was right… you do blame yourself." Jes took his face in her hands. "I see it. I know that 20 years together isn't going to just disappear… no matter what happened between you two. I see that. I can't replace her… not just for the kids, but for you."
"Jes… don't… please, baby."
"Antonio, I'm not trying to say that I want to leave or that I don't love you." She wiped a tear away from her eye. "I know that you had a life before me, and that even though I know you love me… I know that you loved her first."
Antonio was speechless. He just hugged her tightly. "Jeslyn, promise me… promise me that if you get to upset or that if… that you'll talk to me. About anything. Our deal still holds. No secrets. Nothing hidden between us."
"I know. I promise." Jes kissed him. Something she had wanted to do for hours. "I love you, Antonio Dawson. I love you."
"Jes… nothing will stop me from loving you. You are my everything now and forever. I promise you that my heart belongs only to you."
Jes nodded and kissed him again. "We really need to get some sleep."
*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*
Antonio and Jes were up earlier than planned, but it worked out because Jes needed his help to shower and get dressed. She put on a modest black lace dress and black flats. Antonio dressed in his all black suit with black shirt and black tie. Jes was looking at her engagement ring when Antonio came back in the bedroom.
"What's got you so deep in thought?" He asked.
"I'll sound crazy."
"I think I can handle that. What's going on?" He pulled on his socks and began to put on his shoes.
"I don't know if I should be wearing this today."
Antonio stopped tying his shoe. "Why not?"
"Because we're going to your ex-wife's memorial… it might be tacky."
He sighed. "You are overthinking things. I love you, but baby… you gotta stop doing that."
"So, they're not going to make a scene?"
"If they do, they're going to cause more issues than you being there." He stood up. "I love you, and Laura and I were divorced before she died… they shouldn't be surprised if I've moved on."
"You're right." She sighed. "Can you help me get this sling on? I'll be happy when I can be rid of this thing."
He grabbed the sling and gently slid her arm into it. "How is it that you can make a sling attractive?" He laughed softly.
"I don't know… must be my superpower." She kissed his cheek. "Let's go check on the kids."
Eva and Diego were already in the kitchen when Jes and Antonio got there.
"Hey, guys. Did you sleep okay?" Antonio asked.
Eva nodded. "As good as I could… I couldn't stop thinking about… well…"
"It's fine, Eva." Jes gave her a side hug. "If you want… you can go back to calling me Jes… if it's easier."
"No… it's not that… it's just… we had a mom… got a new mom… and well…"
Jes turned to Antonio. 'Help.' She mouthed.
"Maybe for today, you guys should just call her Jes. She's feeling good enough to come, and she knows that it's going to be hard, but…"
"I'm here for you. No matter what." Jes finished. They had both agreed that the kids weren't going to know about the letter that Laura had left for Jes.
"Thank you." Eva said. She finished her toast and put the dishes in the dishwasher.
Diego sat silently. Jes and Antonio made themselves a light breakfast and when they were done, they headed out for the memorial service.
*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*
The memorial service wasn't long. There wasn't an internment as her ashes were going to be spread at a later time. Jes stayed next to Antonio and didn't say anything unless spoken too. She didn't want to ruffle any feathers. They stood behind Eva and Diego the entire time. They accepted condolences and made small talk. Jes felt their pain. She'd lived through it twice. As people began to leave, Laura's sister, Sofia, came over to them.
She hugged the kids and even hugged Antonio. She turned to Jes. "You must be Jeslyn."
"Yes." Jeslyn whispered.
Sofia hugged her. "Thank you for coming."
"Uh…" Jes was at a loss for words. She couldn't tell if Sofia was being sincere or not, but she wasn't going to start a scene.
Sofia smiled slightly. "Laura… uh she left a letter for us… saying that we shouldn't be angry with you or hold any grudges… she's… she was right." She brushed Eva's hair behind her ear. "The kids need you."
"Uh… thank you." Jes managed to say.
"Antonio." Sofia turned to him. "Is there anything we can do to help… with the kids…or anything?"
"Uh, no Sofia… thanks… uh, we're going to be heading out of Chicago for a while so Jes and I can recover… give the kids a chance to heal away from the ghosts that are still here."
"Oh. I see." Sofia sounded disappointed. "How long will you be gone?"
"A month, maybe longer. I've got medical leave… I'm going to take it to take care of my family." Antonio could see how her face changed when he said 'my family'. "Is there a problem, Sofia?" He whispered.
Jes could see tensions rising. "Uh, Eva, Diego… let's go grab some food… we'll leave your dad to talk with your aunt."
"Good idea." Sofia said, as genuine as obvious as the fake and bake tone of her skin.
Antonio glared at her as his children left with Jes. "What's your problem, Sofia?"
"You think that because Laura could forgive you and let you move on, that I will?"
Antonio walked towards the coatroom of the rec center. "I'm not doing this in front of everyone here… just so you can make a point."
Sofia stalked after him. "You can't take those kids away." She slammed the door closed behind her.
"And… why the hell not?! They're my kids."
"They are my sister's children too!"
"Look, Sofia… I know that your family never approved of me being with Laura… I heard it enough since we were juniors in high school. I know how much you all pushed her to leave and to take the kids… see I got a letter too… one that said to do what's best for our children. To let them grow up without having battles and arguments being their only memory of their childhood." He huffed. "You do know that before all this shit went down, that our divorce had been finalized… that she'd lost custody."
"Only because your boss had a hand in it."
"He went to the judge… he didn't do anything else… especially not since there was enough evidence to declare abandonment… but I'm not going to stand here and let you disrespect the memory of a good woman. A woman I loved, and spent a good part of my life with… the woman who gave me two beautiful children who need to be allowed to keep the good memories of their mother… not the fights… not the things they're going to be hearing about her in the coming days… they don't need to hear you or anyone else bash me or Jes… it's not going to happen."
"Oh, trust me… this isn't over, Antonio… I saw that ring… I know you plan on marrying her."
"Good for you. The whole city probably knows by now."
"Her being the mayor's new pet and celebrity isn't going to make this any less of a betrayal." Sofia's voice was toxic with spite.
"Sofia… don't forget… I'm the one left picking up the pieces… I'm the one who has to hold my family together."
"Well, your only family is going to be her because I plan on petitioning the courts for custody of those children."
"Ha! That's a good one… see… you can't. No judge will hear it. Plus, the paperwork is in order and is being rushed to have Jes adopt them."
"You can't do that." Sofia gasped. "You can't cut them off from us."
"Your parents are gone… God rest their souls and thank God that they don't have to see what's become of their children. I can do what I deem necessary for my children's lives and safety. They need us… not you… not your poison and lies… has CPD come to talk to you yet? Since you introduced Laura to the son-of-a-bitch that killed her!?"
Sofia stumbled back. "What? How?"
"I told you… Laura left me a letter too… in it was her wish that Jes adopt the kids… that they know a normal life… as well as some very useful information for the CPD's investigation into the Office. Try to come after my kids… my fiancée… me… well it'll never happen. Now… I'm going to go say my good-byes to your husband and kids… the ones who don't know about that secret life of yours and I'm taking MY family home. Don't ever try to contact us again." He stomped off. He stopped as he saw Adam and Kevin walk in. "Well, if you're looking for Sofia… she's in there." He pointed to the coatroom. He went off and led the kids and Jes out the back exit so to not cause a scene. He hadn't wanted it to happen this way but he wasn't going to let Sofia try to poison his family with her lies. He hadn't told Jes about the letter he had found in his suit pocket that morning. He finally also got an explanation about the letters. He'd show her when they were home and the kids were preoccupied. Jacquie was coming over with Vinessa to help pack. Every loose end had been dealt with. Now they could finally begin the healing process.
*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*
Antonio handed Jes the letter. They were sitting in the newly designed kitchen. Jacquie had gone with the kids to go buy new suitcases since their old ones were falling apart. "I found this in my suit this morning."
"What is it?"
"A letter… like the one Laura left you… the kids… her sister… I got one too."
"What… what did she say?" Jes looked at the folded paper in her hand.
"You can read it, baby. No secrets, remember?"
"I think… I'd rather you summarize it for me… I'm tired… I know that Sofia was trying to make you out to be the villain today."
"Yeah." Antonio sighed. "I don't think I can summarize it… I'll read it. If it gets to be too much… I'll stop."
"Deal." Jes nodded, getting more comfortable on the barstool that was in front of the island.
'Antonio,
I don't know where to start. See, this is the last letter I'm writing. I've written one for my sister, one to the kids and even one for Jeslyn. If you all got them, it means I'm gone. Andres is suspicious… I don't have a lot of time left. Each of you is getting a letter because I can't say good-bye otherwise… or even explain my actions. I know that Jeslyn will have been hurt and worse. I know that I will have played a role in it. I know that neither of you will probably be able to forgive me for my part in it, but I had to play along long enough to get Voight the evidence he needs.
I threw away something so good and pure from our time together. I don't know where it went wrong, but I know it wasn't your fault. I changed. I hurt you in the worst possible way and I can only hope that someday you can find it possible to forgive me. I know that Eva and Diego will be okay. They have an amazing man as their father. A hero whose strength is incomparable. I'm sorry I took advantage of that strength. I'm so sorry, Antonio. I never meant to hurt you.
Please have Jeslyn know that I couldn't ask for a better woman to be there for Eva and Diego since I can't be there. She's wonderful, and I can't believe that I will have to do what I will. Please make sure the kids will always remember me and the good times we all had as a family. I don't want their childhood memories to be of us fighting or the horrors they're going to hear about me in the news after this is all over. I know Jeslyn will be a great mother. My last request from you… if Jeslyn is okay with it, please have her legally adopt the kids. This way you're a family in every sense of the word. No one can tear you apart. Don't let anyone, and I mean anyone, come between your new family, Antonio. I wish you and Jeslyn a happy life together and many memories as a family. I will cherish our memories… always.
Laura.
PS… if Sofia tries something… remind her that she's the one who introduced me to Andres.'
Jes' jaw dropped. She was in shock. She was in disbelief of what she'd just heard.
"Baby?"
"She wanted me to adopt the kids?"
Antonio nodded. "I called Steve Kot… the ASA we work with on a bunch of cases… he put the file and paperwork together… he's going to be bringing it over for you to sign tonight… if you want to."
"Oh, Antonio." Tears began to fall. "Of course… I just…"
"It's going to be okay."
"Her own sister?" She wiped the tears.
Antonio nodded and handed her a Kleenex. "It's done. I dealt with it already."
"She tried to do something at the service, didn't she?"
He nodded again. "She told me she was going to take our kids away."
Jes' jaw dropped. "Oh, hell no!"
Antonio couldn't help but laugh a little. "Yeah. Well, it's done. Now, we need to pack and get some sleep. Our flight leaves in…" He checked his watch. "About seven hours."
"Mmm." Jes sighed. "A plane ride with busted ribs and a cast… this is going to be interesting."
"Hey, baby… we're going to be okay." He wrapped his arms around her. "All of us."
"Oh, I know that…" She grinned. "I just hope that I can actually sleep on this flight."
"You're not a fan of flying?"
"Oh no! I love flying… just my flight back to Chicago was less than pleasant. I didn't get a window and I counted 8 screaming infants and toddlers the whole way."
"Oh." Antonio put the letter back in his pocket. He held her tightly. "Well, you can have the window seat, and I bought us all new earplugs. We'll be fine."
"I listen to music when I fly." She kissed him. "I even have a 'Flight Music' playlist."
"Seriously?"
"What? Music is good for the soul."
"I can't argue there." He kissed her. "Let's get packing and we'll figure the rest out after."
They heard the front door open. "Mom? Dad?"
"Notice, how they always ask for you first." He whispered.
"That could change." Jes kissed his cheek. "Let's go check out what they got."
*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*
After suitcases were assigned to the right person, they all packed their bags. Jes told them not to pack too much because she was going to get some new clothes for everyone when they were there. "Just make sure you've got a good coat, toque and gloves."
"Again… it's a hat." Antonio protested.
"It's a toque." Jes smirked. "I haven't gotten anyone gifts yet… so part of my gift will be some new clothes. Especially since you two are growing like weeds." She smiled to the kids. "Okay, so everything's ready to go… we should get some rest before the flight."
"I agree."
The doorbell rang.
"Dad? Who's that?" Diego asked.
"Good question, buddy." Antonio got up off Diego's bed. "I'll go look."
Jes helped Eva pack up the jewelry she wanted to bring with her and her cosmetics. "Everything okay sweetheart?"
Eva nodded. "I'm just tired."
"I know. You'll get some sleep now and then you can sleep while we're on the plane too."
"Thanks, Mom." She hugged her.
"Hey! Guys, could you meet me in the family room?" Antonio's voice came down the hall.
"I think that's my cue to leave." Jacquie got up and hugged everyone. "Have a safe flight. Call me when you land."
"Definitely." Jes hugged her friend tightly. "We'll see you after Christmas."
"Guaranteed." With that Vinessa and Jacquie bid them farewell and headed back home.
Jes, Eva and Diego entered the family room to see a tall man standing next to Antonio. Jes assumed he was the lawyer that Antonio had mentioned earlier. The kids sat next to Jes on the couch.
"So, this is ASA Kot… he and I work on a lot of cases together and I've asked him to do us a favour."
"What's that, Dad?" Diego asked.
"Uh, well…" Antonio took a breath. He hadn't thought about how he was going to tell the kids about this. "Your mom left me a letter too… like the one she left you. In it, she asked that if Jes wanted to… to have her legally adopt you."
Eva and Diego looked to each other then to Jes. "Really?"
Antonio nodded. "Yeah. Turns out it was also in her will. Um, Mr. Kot is a good lawyer and a family friend… he's here for Jes to sign the papers… but only if everyone here is okay with this."
Eva's bottom lip quivered. "Will it mean that no one can try and take us away again?"
Steve nodded. "Yes, Eva. That means that you and your brother will always be together and with Jes and your dad… this means that no one can take you away from them. Jes will legally be known as your mom and this is permanent."
Diego hugged Jes. "Do you want that?"
Jes looked down to him and kissed his forehead. "I want us to be a family. I want us to be one family… no matter what. Remember… family means no one gets left behind or forgotten."
The kids broke out into a fit of laughter. Even Steve laughed. "Well," He said. "If we're all in agreement… then Jes just needs to fill these out and sign… and I'll file them with the judge first thing in the morning."
"Then it'll be official?" Jes asked as she took the pen and packet of papers the Steve offered her.
"It will be. I, uh… I understand you're heading out of Chicago?" Steve asked Antonio.
"Yeah… Jes still owns her family's farm in Alberta… we're going there until I'm off medical leave."
"Okay. Leave me the address so I can courier a set of them to you… I'll also keep a copy for you in my office too." Steve pointed to one last set of papers that Jes needed to initial. As soon as Jes had finished, he took the pen and papers. "Thank you and congratulations you guys. I hear that wedding bells are also in the future?"
"Yeah. I asked… she said yes. This makes it that much easier." Antonio smiled.
"Uh… Jes just making sure I'm reading all the papers right… you're Jay's sister?"
Jes nodded. "His mom did this very same thing for me when I was 16."
"Well… then all the best and we'll be in touch." Steve shook Jes' hand and Antonio.
"Okay… so… we now should get a quick nap in. Our ride to the airport is in 4 hours. The flight leaves in six."
*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*
A/N: Well… there we go… I went all over the map… all rights to 'Love You Forever' belongs to Robert Munsch. Let me know what you think! Love always, Nicole!