N/A: So sorry its taken so long! Life- school- work- so much to do, so little time? Luckily schools almost over for the semester, and I'll finally have time to write more. Until then- I hope this will suffice? Not too meaty, more of a filler- still hope you guys enjoy it :). Thank you so much for still reading!

The Letters

Part XX

Alpha Omega

The Present

February 3rd,2005

Previously…

"Look he's waking up! Ryan-can-you-hear-me? DON'T-GO-TO-DA-LIGHT!" The toddler yelled.

When Ryan started stirring awake, House's eyes flickered over to the teenager, and Cuddy immediately got up, rushing to his side.

He watched- intrigued, as Cuddy patted his unruly hair down, and spoke to him, and noted an uncharacteristic note of tender in her voice, "Ryan? Can you hear me?"

Ryan's eyes flickered open and closed a few times, as he moved, regaining consciousness. Then, after a minute or so, he licked his lips and frowned up at Cuddy, "Lisa?"

It looked like she'd been holding her breath for hours, when she finally breathed out, tears and all. House watched- immensely interested, as she wiped a tear away and smiled at him, "You were in an accident, you hurt your leg and left arm."

The teenage boy frowned, and swallowed, closing his eyes, "I remember the accident…Are my parents ok?"

House, who'd been entertaining himself with his cherry lollipop- stopped in mid suck, and looked over at the bed, where Ryan was awaiting an answer from Cuddy.

He could see her frozen figure, over the teenager, and decided to stand up straight, to join her, "Huh- interesting. In case you're wondering, we call that retrograde amnesia- what's the last thing you remember?"

"House. Stop-"

Ryan frowned, as his eyes traveled to House, and a look of deep contempt filled his features, "What are you doing here?"

House cocked his head to his side, and hummed- pursing his lips in genuine bewilderment, "Now I'm confused. Seriously, what's the last thing you remember?"

"Leaving my lacrosse game-then we were in the car…we were arguing about…" His eyes shot to Cuddy, then House and then back at Emily, "The last thing I remember was being in the ambulance."

Cuddy swallowed, and House could tell she was trembling, as she spoke up, "Ryan- what day is it?"

He looked at both of them, "October fifth…"

She turned to look at House, who was still staring at Ryan, without a clue of what to say….

…

There was a bitter pit that had taken up permanent residence at the bottom of Cuddy's stomach- it turned and knotted uncomfortably. She hated the feeling it gave her, but lately- she didn't know life without it. Because quite honestly, her world had become one filled with constant distress over the secret she'd been holding for seventeen years.

She knew from the moment she'd decided to take both Ryan and Emily in, that she'd run the risk of everything coming out- of the truth manifesting itself- but still, she wasn't ready for it, and even more- she was confident that Ryan and House weren't either.

They were alone now, just her and Ryan- after having sent a begrudging House and Emily to her house. Because she foolishly thought that it would be easier to tell him the truth about his parents, if it was just the two of them.

Ryan's eyes went from the door to Cuddy, and licked his lips, "Where are my parents Lisa?"

Her hands trembled, "They didn't make it."

xxxoxxxo

The Past

Monday

October 31st, 1988

There was a small part of Lisa that was irrationally jealous of her perky roommate, Trish. It wasn't her grades, the fact that she was actually in a relationship now, or that she seemed truly happy- no, her jealousy stemmed from how in shape she was. And yes, she knew that she shouldn't have felt bad, because the weight she'd put on was only to harvest a parasite in her womb, but she still felt envy when she watched her put the finishing touches to her zombie bride make-up.

Lisa tried reminding herself that under normal circumstances, she was in better shape than Trish- that it all had to do with the fetus inside of her, but still, that did little to make her feel better.

And instead of sitting next to her, getting ready in her own sexy cop costume that Trish had boughten for her, Lisa sat on her bed with an oversized sweater on, reading all the bones that were located in the forearm. Truth be told, she was ahead in her anatomy class, but she didn't relish the idea of going to some frat halloween party- at least not in her current condition.

Just the thought of what was happening to her every day that past, sent an unpleasant chill in her spine.

And while she knew there was an easy solution to her predicament, the thought of having something pulled out of her with tweezers, made her gag-reflex turn on. She knew she was past any thought of abortion, and maybe that had never been something she ever intended to do either.

There were two quick knocks on the their dorm door, but Lisa didn't look up- knowing it wasn't for her.

"Can you get that? I think it's Dylan, but I still need to find my heels", Trish shouted from somewhere inside her closet.

Lisa sighed, and dropped her pencil as she got up to go to the door, dragging her feet in the process.

When she opened the door though, she momentarily paused and frowned because, the last person she had expected to see- was Dylan Crandall.

She blinked her eyes a couple times and pointed to where Trish was fighting with some phantom shoe ghost, "You and her?"

He smiled sheepishly and sighed, "Love at first sight."

"Riight…I thought you were into your english professor? What happened?" Lisa let out slowly as she moved to the side and let him in.

"Dylan just told you- love at first sight."

"Where's your costume? Aren't you going to the party?"

Trish fell out of the closet holding something white, "I found it!"

Lisa crossed her arms, and turned back over to Dylan, "I'm not going to the party….aren't you a little old to be going to frat parties anyway?"

Dylan shrugged- nodding over to Trish,"It was her idea. Plus, Greg's waiting for me to drop something off."

Her heart skipped a beat.

"Greg's going to be there?"

Trish threw the dress at Lisa, "See? Told you she'd want to go once she knew that he was there."

She rolled her eyes and scoffed- throwing the dress back to her. She closed the door and walked to her bed, to lamely pick up a book. It was a rue to appear unaffected- though she knew that it was useless.

"I don't want to go", she muttered.

Trish tilted her head to the side and raised an eyebrow, as she went over to sit on Dylan's lap, "Oh please, your eyes fire up as soon as anyone mentions his name. You are so going to the party."

"Greg and I- we were friends, and nothing ever happened. There's no mystery here", she overly expressed with her hands, flipping through the pages of Pride and Prejudice.

Both Dylan and Trish looked at each other, "Funny that's exactly what he said too. Think that's significant?"

Lisa licked her lips, "He said that too?"

"Not in exactly those words…but just the same. Anyway- the guy is pining for you. What did you do to him? Before you came along, he was a cold dick, but you've turned him into a brooding heartbroken lukewarm dick. What's up with that?"

She was close to spilling out the truth, because Lisa needed to tell someone- anyone what was really happening with her. That she had accidentally fallen in love with him, and was carrying his baby- his spawn, all from one night of stupid lust she'd foolishly felt for him- that she still felt for him.

But she swallowed instead- realizing that the person she had to tell was Greg. And that she had to go to the party to tell him what was happening, no matter what the outcome was- no matter if he didn't care at all.

xxxoxxxo

The Past

October 31st, 1988

Alpha Omega Frat Party

She was a sparkly angel- actually, it was the costume that Trish had worn the year before for Halloween. Her dress had a Grecian silhouette, that became loose just below the bust line- perfect to hide her slightly protruding belly. She even had real feathered wings that attached to the back of her dress.

Though it was a little cliché for her liking, Lisa had to admit it, it could have been worse, especially since it the costume came from Trish- then again, thinking back to year before- she'd been trying to get into Greg's pants by appearing to be pure.

She felt slightly disgusted at the though.

Michael Jackson's Thriller song played from somewhere deep in the house, and she passed several couples' that were already drunk in the foyer- envying them a little, and wishing that she too, could be slightly inebriated for what she had to tell Greg. Though, Lisa realized that probably wouldn't be such a great idea for the fetus.

She was thirsty though, and decided to make her way to the kitchen, in hopes that there would be anything non-alcoholic for her to drink, where she found Dylan making a cranberry-vodka for Trish, who sat on the island.

When he spotted Lisa, his eyes popped wide open, "Dude! You came! I told Trish you would- she'd given up hope."

Trish shrugged, "I told him I thought you were too chicken to face Greg."

"Why would I be afraid to face him?" Lisa asked, resting against the island, next to Trish.

"You and Greg did it, and you don't want to see each other so you must have been bad."

Lisa scoffed, "It was not bad."

Both Dylan and Trish's mouths dropped open, and she realized she'd just admitted to actually sleeping with Greg- something she'd been fighting to deny for months.

"I knew it!"

"You should go talk to him- he just left to the bathroom", Dylan smiled widely.

She swallowed, feeling the familiar tingling that Greg always brought to her, suddenly radiate through out her body- she'd forgotten just how potent the feeling was.

Trish took a sip of her drink and raised her eyebrows at Lisa, "Come on- go attack him already. He's all alone in there. You should surprise him."

Her body responded for her, and she felt herself out of control as she walked away in search of the elusive bathroom. And she didn't have to go far to hear his unmistakable voice.

The bathroom door was slightly ajar, and Lisa could see his reflection through the mirror- it made her smile. Her hand had made it to the door, and she was just about to push it open, when she saw his face go down to the sink and watched as he snorted something off the counter.

It was annoying, but she wasn't all that shocked, it wasn't like it was something new, and it wasn't enough to scare her off. No, what stopped her in mid track, were the two long arms and she saw snake around his neck and pull him back up after he was done.

It was the brunette she'd talked to at his apartment, the day she'd found out she was pregnant and she'd gone to tell him.

"Let's leave already- why are we even still here?"

She took a step away from the door, so he wouldn't see her through the mirror, "Don't you like parties?"

"Is it because of what Dylan said? Are you really waiting for that girl to show up?- Lisa? is that her name?"

She heard Greg scoffed, "No."

"It's true, isn't it? You do like her."

"Lisa? God no. Do you know how hard it was to get that girl off my back? She was crazy obsessed with me, and I slept with her to get rid of her….You know, just cause I have to stay a while, doesn't mean we can't have fun in-"

Lisa walked away, before she could hear anything else. She couldn't breath- and the overcrowded halls of the house, made her feel like there was no oxygen for her to breath in. But mostly- it felt like someone had just shot her repeatedly in the chest.

xxxoxxxo

The Past

Friday

October 5th, 2004

New York

"This entire thing is stupid- when are you going to tell me who he is? I already know Lisa's my biological mother, so I don't get why I can't know who my dad is," Ryan bellowed, indignantly throwing his crosse into the black Mercedes SUV of his parents.

His dad let out a silent sigh, while placing his seatbelt on, and didn't say anything. It was typical, that they tip-toed around the subject of his biological parents. Ryan understood that it was difficult too, but his patience was thinning.

It had taken a while of searching, but after he'd found his original birth certificate, his long suspicions of being adopted had been cemented, when he'd seen Lisa's name listed as his mother.

And it wasn't that he wasn't happy with his parents- he cared for them, and he knew that they loved him, unconditionally. But his necessity to know who he came from, was something that ate at him, like an itch he couldn't quite make go away.

It was hard for him to put into words, in a way that wouldn't hurt his parents, but the truth was that, there was an unsettling sense of loneliness that he'd always felt. Again, his parents had been great, they'd done everything right- which was why he'd always known that something was wrong.

And it wasn't just teenage angst, or a stage where he felt like 'no one understood him', he just knew that he'd never quite fit in. And what was amusing was that, Emily- his sister, who had clearly been adopted was seamlessly sown into their family, where as Ryan had always sensed he'd been misplaced.

At times it felt like a hole in his chest, something that was missing and he hoped he'd find with whoever his biological parents were, at other times it was his tenacity of knowledge and his learning curve, his slightly cynical worldly views, and the slightly questionable looks he'd get from his mom, when he'd forget to filter his sarcasm.

His parents were just different. Like their insanely devout Christian faith, empathetic views and ridiculous generosity. He'd grown up with Stepford parents, who genuinely embodied the traditional American family dream.

Really, what he wanted to see was if he'd be able to see himself in them- his biological parents. And when he'd found out that Lisa was his birth mom, there'd been a moment of relief- but it wasn't what he was looking for, she wasn't what he felt was missing.

"Ryan this is ridiculous, we've told you we don't know", His mother stressed as she signaled his father to start driving.

He fell back against the seat, and let out a huff, "Fine. I'll just ask Lisa then, she should know, right?"

"Do I have to remind you of what we told you? You can't let Lisa know that you know. You weren't ever supposed to find out."

Ryan rolled his eyes at his father's attempt at a sharp tone, and snickered, "I don't care. I need to know."

His mom put her hand on his dad's arm, "Let's just tell him- he'll find out eventually."

"Tell me what?"

It began to sprinkle, as his dad got on to the highway. And for a few seconds, both of his parents were silent and merely looked at each other. Then after a little while, his mother turned back to look at him.

"Do you remember that one time we took you to Lisa's hospital when you had strep throat? There was a doctor there…the one with the cane, who you purposely tripped because he made a snide remark at Lisa?"

Ryan frowned, "Dr…House?"

He didn't remember much about the guy, just the fact that he looked like crap with wrinkled clothes and how he'd really annoyed Ryan with the way he'd been able to make several degrading passes at Lisa, how she'd smiled after she watched him walk away.

"Ryan…"

His dad had called his name, and was looking at him through the rear view mirror- waiting for him to respond. But suddenly everything inside of him had turned numb- he wasn't sure what to feel.

And when he looked up, they were both still looking at him, and were completely unaware of the car- on its side, that had began to skid towards them on the road.

xxxoxxxo

The Past

Wednesday

November 23rd, 1988

She'd become her own worst nightmare. The Lisa Cuddy everyone knew- extrovert, self-proclaimed party girl- had become an epitome of everything she'd been afraid of could happen to her. In simple terms, she'd become recluse, a hermit and had seized all social conventions.

It didn't help her situation, and if anything she knew that withdrawing from the world entirely was counterproductive. But she found no other way to deal with her current state.

In a feeble attempt of forming an understanding of what was happening to her emotionally and physically- she'd read books about coping with an unplanned pregnancy. Truthfully though? none of it helped- because that wasn't even the big problem. The magic answer, she'd been hoping to find with in the contents of the books, had not been there. If anything, she felt even more anxiety at her situation.

Plainly put, she just wasn't sure what to do, but what she was sure of, was that she couldn't have a baby and still go to school. And by the time Thanksgiving rolled around, and she headed out to Princeton for the annual family get together, she was pretty sure she was set on getting an abortion. There was just no other way around it.

It was still early enough, that she hadn't began to show in her stomach, the only changes were the cup sizes of her breasts and she had noticed a slight difference in the circumference of her hips.

All she needed to do, was get through the last couple of torturous days with her family, and she'd go back to the prenatal clinic in Ann Arbor, for the small procedure that would save her life and career.

And even then, every time she thought about it in that way, there was a sense of selfishness that filled the pit of her stomach. She wasn't sure why, it wasn't like she wanted a baby, but to say out loud that she was doing it for her career, felt like she was pushing someone out of a plane, in order to save herself.

"Did he get a new girlfriend?"

Rosemary's voice had been so unexpected, that Lisa dropped the plate she'd been washing. She turned over to her aunt, and silently cursed, catching her breath.

"Crap- sorry, I didn't mean to scare you", Rosemary grimaced.

After a moment to recover, she swallowed, "Uh- it's ok.""

Her aunt stood up against the counter and watched her intently, furrowing her eyebrows, "No, but seriously, what did the infamous Gregory House do now?"

"What? No-nothing, I haven't talked to him in months."

Technically, it wasn't a lie. Sure, she'd gone over to his apartment- only to be face to face with who she'd learned was the infamous Stacy. And maybe she'd waited for him outside the bookstore a couple of times at night to talk to him- again, only to be presented with the sight of them making out as soon as he got out of work, then there was was what she'd heard him tell Stacy at the Halloween party- but she hadn't in fact spoken to him since Anaheim.

"Hmm…either you're lying to me, or its something else. Either way, something is definitely wrong- so which is it?"

Lisa often forgot about her aunt's ability to see past any lie, or lame attempt to evade. It was an extremely annoying trait of hers- even if it came with good intention.

The truth was, no matter how close they were, she couldn't imagine disclosing the chaos that was taking place in her life. What would she think of her? Also, she knew that if Rosemary became aware of her predicament, she'd realize it was too big of a secret to keep from Julia- who would inevitably tell her mom.

All in all, she was screwed.

She took a long breath, feeling her body vibrate from the overwhelming need to tell someone- she swallowed, and turned over to look at her aunt, "I'm pregnant."

xxxoxxxo

The Present

Later

"I need to break into Cuddy's house again", House announced, strutting into Wilson's office.

Wilson who had been looking over a terminal patient's file, sighed and dropped his pen, "Of course. This is another part of wooing, is it not?"

House fell on to his couch and propped both his legs up on his coffee table, "Nope. I need to figure out what I did twenty years ago."

He furrowed his eyebrows, "Isn't it more like almost eighteen years ago?"

House tilted his head, "Yeah-so? Why does a few years make a dif-", he turned his eyes to a spot on his desk and after a few seconds, tilted his head to the side in thought.

Wilson frowned, "What?"

"Ryan knew who I was", House let out slowly, more to himself than Wilson.

"What?"

But House didn't say anything else. Instead, he swiftly stood up, and walked out of his Office.

Sadly, Wilson knew what he'd just figured out.

xxxoxxxo

"Life is a fickle thing", the surprise of a a loud 'clack' and a annoying drone of a voice surprised Ryan, and sure enough he turned to look at the mess that was partially at fault for him being alive.

He blinked a couple of times and frowned up at House, "What? What do you want?"

"Well I need some answers- to life- my life to be precise", he muttered flatly, letting a breath out.

Ryan scoffed, "And I suppose I'm simply here to indulge your crazy whims?"

House scrunched his face in disgust, "Can you just shut up? God, you're so irritating- not everything is about you."

He rolled his eyes, "Fine. What do you want? So you can leave me alone."

"How did you know who I was? When you woke up- you knew who I was, but you didn't know that your parents were dead. How is that?"

Ryan was quiet for a moment, and his eyes searched the room- before he shrugged, "I don't know."

"Wrong answer."

He struggled with his words, "Partial retrograde amnesia?"

House half smirked and scoffed as he wiped Ryan's forearm with an alcohol swab, "Right. You really expect me to believe that?"

After a while, the teenage boy sighed, "Isn't this what you specialize in? Zebras?" Isn't it possible- even if unlikely, that an individual could loose the memories of only certain events in their life, that would cause psychological trauma? For someone people believe is a genius, you're certainly acting as if you're an idiot."

House made a face at him, and swiveled his chair towards the latex gloves, "You leave me no choice."

"What are you going to do?" Ryan asked, with slight fright in his voice.

House shrugged, preparing the needle in his hand, "just drawing some blood for some tests. As you kindly pointed out, this is clearly a zebra, that I need an answer to."

"Why does it matter?"

House gave him a frown, "Aren't you curious? I am. It could be that there is some anomaly in your limbic system, you damaged your hippocampus or parahippocampal region, maybe even a glioblastoma in your prefrontal cortex, and you only have a month to live. If that's the case, we need to know- because you know, Cuddy will want to say goodbye."

"You're an ass", Ryan scoffed.

House smiled, sticking the needle into Ryan's arm and watching the vial fill up with blood, "Thanks, I try."

xxxoxxxo

The Past

December 12th, 1988

Ann Arbor, Michigan

He'd spent most of his night drinking up the courage to do what he was about to do. The truth was, he wasn't too familiar with how to profess love, but also Greg was pretty sure he'd never felt in love anyway.

For the months following the night that he and Lisa had spent together, and after the tumultuous summer, following his expulsion from Hopkins, Greg had attempted to convince himself that what he'd felt for her had only been lust- primal feelings, but definitely not love.

And for brief moments, he'd almost convinced himself of that. He'd almost believed that he truly didn't love her, and tried to move on with Stacy- because she was a good distraction, who didn't mind any of his vices. However, nothing was able to completely make him forget about Lisa.

He'd sometimes spend entire nights thinking about her, about how easily she'd forgotten about him. Greg would never tell anyone, but there were nights where he'd take the long route home and pass by her dorm room, which could be easily seen from the street, as he slowly drove by. Sometimes he'd see a light on, and wonder what she was doing- homework? reading a book? He'd even momentarily think of making up a reason to stop by, but he'd always drive off.

Greg wasn't even sure of what was different that night, of what had changed in him, other than the large amount of alcohol he'd consumed. All he was sure of, was that he had to get it out, he had to tell her that he hadn't stopped thinking about her since Anaheim, and that even though it sounded insane- he was pretty sure he was in love with her.

His hand shook a bit as he knocked, and he rested both hands on the door frame, to steady his unstable body from falling.

Tiny footsteps made their way to the door, and Greg swallowed in anticipation with seeing her. He wondered whether to just say it, or attack her lips, maybe both? Either way- he knew he had to do something to her.

But when the door opened, to reveal Trish, he frowned and tried to look inside their door, "Where's Lisa?"

Trish made a face, "God- you smell like my mom's liquor cabinet. How drunk are you?"

He squinted and shrugged, "A bit. Where's Lisa?"

"Don't you know?"

He pushed the door all the way open to look at her side of their dorm, only to find it completely bare, "Know what?"

Trish's eyes widened a little bit, and she grimaced, "Oh wow…this is awkward."

"Where'd she go?"

Greg stumbled into the room, disheartened to see all her things gone. Maybe she'd finally gotten tired of Trish?

"She moved back to Princeton…she transferred schools."

To Be Continued...