She put Sophia to bed, kissing her forehead and turning off the light. Sophia was asleep before Carol turned off the lights. She was exhausted.

"Merle's not here." Daryl came up the stairs.

"He's not? Is that bad?"

"No. Just worried." Amy was at school this week, and late Merle had been busy with work and too exhausted to go out and drink. Where was he tonight?

"Let's not think about Merle." She slid her fingers through his and led him to the bedroom, closing the door behind them. She tried to kiss him, but he grasped her wrists and lowered them. "What?"

"We gotta talk."

They sat down, she was worried about what he would tell her this time, because the last time nearly killed her. He broke down, and it made her ache to see him like that. She didn't want any bad news, but bad news comes along with a Dixon. Mostly rumors, and she went off on anyone who told her them now. She ignored any comments that people made about her or Daryl or both of them. They didn't know him, so they could all go to hell.

"'Bout Rick." He met her eyes. "It ain't you."

"What?"

"I...don't like you talkin' to other men like that," he confessed slowly. "I wanna be the only man you say that to. I know Rick means a lot to you, and I'm not askin' for y'all to not be friends no more. I'd just like if you say that...to him."

"Say what? I love you or I'll stand by you no matter what or—?"

"All of it." He swallowed hard.

"Daryl, you're being ridiculous." She moved closer to him. "Rick's like my brother, I've told you this. There is nothing going on between us. He may be getting divorced, but that doesn't mean I'm going to jump at the chance to be with him. I don't want Rick, I want you."

"I know, but to hear you say that to him...hurts me."

"Hurts you?" She frowned. "Daryl, how could that hurt you?"

"'Cause every women I've ever been with, Merle took. Rick loves you, but I don't know where the line is."

"You're walking on it right now." She stood up. "Daryl, you're not losing me to Merle or Rick or Shane or any other man out there. I have my friends who happen to be men, and yes, I love them, but that doesn't mean you're losing me to them."

"I'm just askin' you to not—"

"Be myself?" she cut him off, getting angry. "Daryl, I spent years repressing who I am for Ed, and I will not do it for you. I—I refuse to not anyone but me. I actually like myself now. How can you ask me to hate myself again?" Her eyes burned, and he couldn't look at her.

"I ain't askin' you to hate yourself." He chewed his bottom lip. "I'm possessive, Carol, and I don't like to hear you tellin' other men how much you love 'em, that you'll stand by 'em."

"No! Rick needed my support, needed to hear how much I love him and how I am there for him, because he feels alone right now. I will not shut him out. He needs me. He was betrayed by his other best friend wife. He needs somebody, and that just happens to be me."

"I know," he murmured. "Makes me jealous, though."

"Why?"

"Just does. I can't explain it." He felt sick to his stomach and his heart was pounding. He shouldn't have brought this up, not tonight.

"Well, I need you to explain it to me, because I don't understand."

He peered up at her and shrugged.

She groaned. "God, Daryl, I love you, not Rick, so stop being an idiot! You have no reason to be jealous, none whatsoever!"

His head shot up. "You love me?"

"I am too pissed for this." She turned and left the room.

"Carol, wait."

A knock on the door interrupted his attempt to talk to her, she opened the door and found Rick on the other side. Daryl clenched his jaw, and Carol let him in. He was so pale. Carol sat down beside him, Daryl noted how close, and Rick looked shaken.

"I almost—" he stopped.

"Almost what?" She studied his face.

"Michonne and I were sparrin', and she knocked me on my ass a few times." She nodded him on. "When we stopped, I had her underneath me, and I wanted to..."

"You wanted to kiss her."

"More than that, but yes." He swallowed. "I haven't felt this way in years."

"That's a good thing." She set her hand on his knee and squeezed it comfortingly. "Are you going to ask her out once the divorce is final?"

"I—I don't know." He stood up suddenly. "I just...can't go home."

Daryl pushed off the beam. "You ain't stayin' here."

"Yes, he is." Carol glared at him. "He can sleep on the couch. I'll get you some blankets." She went to the hall closet and pulled down two pillows and a blanket. "Here." She made up the couch.

"Thank you." He smiled. "I really appreciate it."

"You're welcome." She hugged him. "Don't feel bad about it, Rick," she whispered. "Just think about it."

"I will." He released her. "I'm sorry if interrupted anything."

"You didn't." Daryl did. "Good night." She went upstairs. "You aren't forgiven, but Patch is in Sophia's room, and I do not want to sleep in Merle's bed. Good night."

He sat down on the stairs as she climbed into bed, and they both stay where they were all night.

– – –

Carol met Lori at the dinner when Rick didn't come home last night, Carol sat down, ordering coffee as she didn't get any sleep last night, and Lori smiled warmly. Carol drank her coffee, too exhausted to show any emotion.

"Was Rick with y'all last night?" She rested her hands in her lap. "He didn't come home. Carl and I were worried."

"Where do you think he was?" She yawned.

"I called the station, but Leon said he wasn't there. He obviously wasn't at Shane's, so I figured he was with y'all. Was he?"

"Are you afraid he might be having an affair?" She rubbed her eye.

"Is he?" She leaned over the table. "No. No, Rick's not that man." She tucked hair behind her ear. "I want to make this work, but all we do is fight." She began to cry. "What happened with Shane was a mistake."

"How so? Did his penis just fall into your crotch over and over and over?"

She covered her mouth with her hand.

"Lori, I'm with Rick on this. I'm sorry." She set her hand over Lori's. "You shouldn't have looked for comfort outside your marriage."

"How do I fix this?"

"Do you even still love him?"

"I've thought a lot about that, and I do. I really do." She wiped her eyes.

"Then talk to him. If it can work, try to make it work. If it doesn't then don't try to fight it. Carl needs you both."

She nodded. "I'm so sorry for what I said to you on Thanksgiving. I was being a bitch."

"Yes, you were."

She laughed helplessly. "Thank you for the advice. I should go." She slid out of the booth and walked off, and Carol wondered why.

"Anything else, hon?"

"A salad."

"Scratch that. Two burgers with an extra side of fries." Daryl sat down where Lori had sat., and the waitress left. "Hey."

"Hi." She didn't smile like she normally did and the waitress refilled her coffee. "Thanks." She then turned to him. "I'm sorry. Did you want me to be rude to her too?"

He shook his head. "I'm sorry 'bout last night."

"I'm not. I know how you are now. I can't say I find it attractive, though." She crossed her legs. "I'm five minutes into my lunch, so if you want to talk, let's talk." She felt horrible about how they left things, and she didn't want to fight. She hated to fight, especially with him.

"Do you really love me?" he whispered.

"I do." She met his eyes. "I love you more than I thought I could ever love anyone."

He half-smiled and blushed from the attention she gave him. "I... I told you I got issues," he started. "I get jealous easy, and I know you ain't gonna cheat on me."

"I hope you won't cheat on me either."

"I ain't like that. I ain't like Merle." He reached into his pocket and set his hand on the table. "Got you these." He removed his hand, and she stared. "You're important to me, and I almost always lost women who's important to me. My mama burned to death when I was twelve, and I met a woman when I was seventeen and left home—I could pass for a man at that age. She was married, and I didn't know it. She go back with her husband. I met another woman when I was twenty, and I let Merle meet her. He had sex with her in our apartment that night when I got called in. Then there was Karen. You know how that went."

"And now there's me." She sat back in the booth. "I'm not married, I'm not interested in Merle, and I'm nothing like Karen. I'm very loyal and when I said I was fierce lover, I meant that. I was stupid and young when I thought I fell in love with Ed, and the reason I know I never loved him is because I met you and I feel..." She paused and blinked hard to keep tears out of her eyes. "I feel as though my body was made for yours, and the way you can finish my sentences as though they were your own... I've never had that connection with anyone, Daryl. I'm terrified."

"Of me?"

"Of our relationship."

"Why?"

"Because if anything were to ever happen to you, I'd die. I love you so much, and when you demand me not to be who I am, that hurts me so badly. Sophia and you are my entire world, and for you tell me to change that—" She took a deep breath. "I can't change anymore. I just can't."

"I ain't askin' you to." He reached over and set his hand over hers. "But I need you to help me change."

"You don't need—"

"'Bout this, I needa change."

She nodded slowly.

They sat back when the waitress brought their food, Carol picked up the Cherokee rose earrings that Daryl had gotten for her, setting them in her purse, in a small pocket. Daryl frowned a little as she did so, but she would wear them later.

They ate lunch together, Carol went to the bathroom and washed her hands, changing her earrings. She shouldered her purse and met him at the door, his hand found her as he walked her to the library, and he half-smiled at the earrings. He'd parked by the library and had planned to wait for her, but Lori beat him to it. He was glad his presence made her flee, otherwise his plans would've been ruined.

"So, dinner tonight?" Carol asked before they went inside.

He leaned and kissed her. "You gonna wear that dress?"

She giggled. "No, but I have something else you'll like."

"Do I get hints?"

"Let me see." She laced her fingers through his. "Nope. It's a surprise."

"You should know I hate surprises."

"Aww, too bad." She kissed him. "I'll see you tonight."

"I'm walkin' you in." He pulled her back. "Karen ain't stoppin' me."

She opened her mouth to protest, but he opened the door and pulled her inside. "Ass."

"I know."

He walked her to the office, Karen was putting bar codes on the books, and Lilly was helping a few people log into their computer. She smiled at Carol and Daryl, Carol smiled back, and Daryl gave a nod at her.

"I'm good. Go. You have a world to make safer."

"I ain't leavin' til you kiss me good bye." He planted his feet when she groaned, and she laughed when he crossed his arms and waited. "I got all day."

"Fine." She pulled his arms down and kissed him quickly, but he grasped the nape of her neck, drawing her closer, caressing her cheek so that she opened her mouth to his. She moaned softly against his lips as he kissed her, waking up her entire body, making her forget that's in a public library making out with her boyfriend instead of doing her job.

"Great, new books and a porno," Karen murmured.

Carol pulled back instantly and blushed at the people who were watching. She buried her face in his shirt.

"Damn straight," Daryl replied. "Wanna see the deleted scenes?"

"How long are they? Five seconds?" She glared.

"I ain' talkin' 'bout you and Ed."

She turned red. "Get your ass out of this library. We have children here, and I don't think they need to see you feel each other out, you damn redneck."

"So, you can think?"

"Daryl, enough." Carol gently pushed him back. "C'mon, I gotta get to work."

"Bitch." He grasped her chin. "If she bothers you, lemme know."

"I will." Not. She kissed him. "I'll see you tonight." She turned and joined Lilly.

"Don't let her bother you." Lilly shelved the returns. "She's been that way for years."

"I'm fine. It's Daryl I worry about." She picked up a pile and shelved them. "How's Meghan?"

"She's good. Sophia?"

"Wanting Christmas break to be now." She bent down and placed two on the shelf. "Hey, Lilly, can I ask you a favor?"

"Sure? Ask me anything."

"You get off at three tonight, right?"

"Yeah. Meghan and I have plans to watch TV."

"Can you take Sophia with you? I—"

"Say no more." She winked. "I'll handle it."

She smiled. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me. I'm glad you're so happy. When you told me about Ed, I wanted to kill him for you. I'm glad he signed."

It still bothered her how easily he signed. Ed fought for everything, and she was so sure that Ed would fight for her. She was glad he didn't, but it seemed to easy. And his threat... She wanted to have him out of her life. Sophia was not his daughter. Sophia was hers. She didn't want Sophia to be tainted by Ed, and as long as Carol breathed, Sophia would never have to deal with Ed's abuse. Carol and Sophia were both strong, and Carol knew she could protect herself should anything happen to her.