BPOV

As soon as I started to wake up, I could feel his fingers under my shirt brushing my spine. I burrowed further into his side letting him bring me the comfort that only he could ever provide. I wished I could wake up with him every morning like this, but I needed to stand my ground.

I didn't know much about his life with Maggie only the things he had told me. She was his longest relationship and it ended badly. Not that either one of them would admit it, but they neither one of them had closure. Edward was still bitter and Maggie would still look at him with a look I wasn't sure what to call. It wasn't quite love or longing, but more as a genuine concern for someone she cared about.

I wasn't going to be Edward's Maggie. She let him set his pace in their relationship so he was comfortable. Rose once told me it was Edward that wanted marriage, but when Maggie didn't show as much interest in it they just went with living together.

I didn't want to be Edward's live-in wife I wanted to be his wife. We had Alex and I wanted nothing more than for us to be a family. I also never breathed a word of wanting another baby. With Alex just turning three, something in me started to long for another obaby. When I was with Jacob, I never thought I would want a gaggle of kids, but having one with Edward had me itching for more.

I knew we didn't need to bring another baby into our lives if we weren't seriously involved. I loved Edward more than I loved any man I had ever been with, but he was hesitant with me. That hurt me beyond anything else. At times, he would introduce me as his girlfriend, even that title was far and few between. He only said it if he was trying to ward other women off or felt threatened by another man.

His lips grazed my neck and I sighed.

"I knew you were up," he murmured.

His hand slid out of my shirt to cup my breast as he began to knead it through my shirt. I moaned and nibbled at his neck. With Edward, it was an automatic reaction to bite; he lowered his head and gently bit my nipple through my shirt. I arched my back to remain in contact with his body.

"I don't fucking know why you sleep in clothes," he groaned.

"Not all of us can be born a nudist like you," I breathed moving my hand to his soft hair.

Our mouths joined in a slow torturous rhythm and I let go of his hair to move my hand down his chest and lightly grab his erection. I figured he would be up for a morning hand job.

He surprised me by tugging my hand away from him and put both of his hands on my hips. He kissed each hip as he pulled my boy shorts down my legs. He parted my knees so I was spread out for him and started rubbing circles on my clit. My brain instantly went fuzzy.

He moved his lips to kiss my inner thigh and made his way up. Electricity jolted through me as it always did by his touch. He planted small kisses around my opening making me spread my legs wider. Edward pulled back to smirk at me before inserting his tongue and licking up and down in slow movements. Not too hard and not too soft, he took his time finding every little spot on me and hit every angle with his highly skilled tongue. In my frenzy, I wrapped my legs around his head. His response was a small moan that I felt through his mouth. The vibration of it drove me crazy as I bucked against him.

He decided to pick up his speed, making quicker movements over a smaller amount of space, hitting just that one little spot back and forth. I felt the tingling sensation that was a telltale sign I was close.

And before I could have any more thoughts my orgasm wracked my body making everything disappear.

"Good morning," he whispered in my ear after a few moments.

"What was that for?" I sighed not wanting to move.

My shirt was clinging to my sweaty body and I didn't feel like taking it off or putting my boy shorts back on. He totally blew my mind this morning.

"You deserved that," he said kissing my head.

"I did?" I squeaked in surprise at the thoughtful Edward I woke up to this morning.

"I've been a dick lately," he shrugged bringing his hand under my shirt as he began to stroke my stomach.

"You're always a dick," I said confused slightly melting at his touch.

"Yeah but I'v been more so the past couple of weeks."

"Okay."

"I love you. You know that Sweet Tart?"

"Hmm," I said not wanting to say 'Do you?' the words were sitting on my tongue.

"Bella?" his voice sounded on edge, but I couldn't look at him.

"I need to get a shower. Rose wanted to grab brunch with Alex and me. Will you get him ready?"

"Bell," he tried again.

I shook him off going into my bathroom. I didn't want him to see me cry. Maybe I was being stupid about it, but I sometimes felt our love was one sided. He would do things like he just did and it would leave me confused. I wished I knew what he thought.

I showered and threw on a pair of jeans Alice had bought me and a blue thermal. I sighed at myself in the mirror not really wanting to put any makeup on for our brunch at the diner down the road. Alice was always telling me I was the only person she knew that could not wear any make up and still look ten years younger. I wished I felt twenty at least instead of run down and tired all the time.

I stepped into the kitchen where Edward had a bowl of cereal in front of him, but he was also coloring on the same page Alex was. He took a bite of cereal and then scooped more onto the spoon; feeding Alex's awaiting mouth as they both still colored. It was sometimes creepy how in sync they were with one another.

I shuffled forward wrapping my arms around my baby boy. "Good morning, baby," I said kissing his dark red hair.

"Mornin' Mommy," he said still focusing on his Cars coloring book.

I kissed his head one more time before grabbing the cup of coffee Edward had poured for me.

"So Bell, I'll pick Xand up around five?"

"Sounds good," I nodded.

"I sleeping at Papa's?" Alex asked his hazel eyes meeting mine.

"I have to work a few days in Seattle, Al," I murmured.

"With Mae Mae?" he asked frowning.

"Yes baby."

"I can go?" he asked hopeful.

"You're staying with me Xand."

"But I want Mommy," he said his lip trembling.

This was new for him. We had been living in the town house for almost a year. He didn't remember when we lived with Edward. He only knew Pappy's house and here. With me working more in Seattle for the past two months, he would spend a few nights with Edward here or there. I didn't get how he noticed a difference because Edward was here almost every night I didn't work, but my observant son did.

"Xander," Edward said now kneeling in front of him. "Your Ma has to work you know the drill man. You get to sleep in your bed at my house."

"Mommy's gonna be all alones," he said looking at Edward desperately.

Edward's green eyes were suddenly on me. He was giving me an 'I'm right' look. Edward's argument was always 'move in with me Bella', 'I love you and want to be you'. He thrived on Alex's observations.

"Alex," I sighed nudging Edward over so I could be at his level too. "I'll be with Mae Mae and Poppops, baby. I won't be alone and I'll be back with you and Papa tomorrow night."

I would be stretching myself thin to get back tomorrow night, but I couldn't stand seeing him look so broken. This is another reason Edward knew he had me right where he wanted me. I would never do anything to mess with Alex's upbringing.

My phone beeped on the counter indicating Rose was texting me wondering where we were. I told her we were on our way. Alex ran out into the foyer to grab his coat when Edward stopped me wrapping his arms around me.

"Move in with me, Bell," he whispered kissing just below my ear.

"Marry me," I challenged knowing his reaction.

"Sweet Tart we have a good thing going," he started.

I shrugged out of his hold feeling much emptier from his reluctance. I stepped out into the foyer watching Alex have a time with his coat due to his mittens.

"Mommy I can't gets it on," he sighed in defeat.

"Here I'll help you," I laughed tugging one arm though one of his green sleeves.

"Do I has to wear a hat?" he frowned. "It makes my head all itchy."

"Afraid so, I don't want your ears hurting," I explained pulling his gray hat over his ears.

Lately he was getting more prone to ear aches and the doctor had talked to us about getting tubes put into his ears.

I went for my coat, but Edward was behind me holding it so I could slide my arms in. He pulled me in for another backwards hug with Alex watching us intently.

"I'm going to be lonely," he said as I pushed my ass into him for making me break. "Evil."

"Let's go Alex," I said picking him up to carry him out to the car.

"Bye Papa!" he called over my shoulder.

By the time we made it into the diner, the lunch rush was starting to come in. I spotted Rose in one of the back booths. Her normally styled straight hair was down in a natural wave and she looked drained. As always, she was beautiful but I could see her exhaustion.

"Aunt Rose," Alex exclaimed tugging my hand the whole way to the table.

Her face lit up with a bright smile that was only for my son. "My little man," she murmured pulling him into a tight hug.

"Hey Iz," I leaned over and we kissed cheeks.

"How was the honeymoon?"

"Very good," she smiled widely.

"Do I even want to know?" I asked sitting across from her sliding my coat off.

Alex sat next to Rosalie and she helped him get settled. He sat in his booster seat reaching for the crayons on the table so he could draw on the place mat.

"Alex is going to have a cousin in August," she said quietly.

"That is really great," I grinned squeezing her hand.

"I do want to apologize for the wedding. Emmett and I didn't want you to be hurt…"

"Rose, I understand. I should be apologizing for Edward. He was out of line with the way he behaved."

"No, I knew that Maggie being in the wedding party would make him mad… I was maid of honor in her wedding. She isn't as bad as Edward makes her out to be."

I was quiet glancing over my menu. I thought back to the night Alex was born. I never told Edward, and I made Emmett swear not to say a word, about Maggie being one of the nurses who was in the delivery room. She was nice and even assisted the doctor when I bled out.

"Did Em ever tell you she was one of my nurses?"

Her bright blue eyes snapped to mine. She shook her head slowly looking like she wanted to say something.

"Does Edward know?"

"I never said anything because he gets so bitter when she's brought up and when we see her. Honestly Rose, I don't know what to do with him any more."

"Can I get you some drinks?"

"Coffee," I said.

"Water, please," Rose sighed.

"Baby, what do you want?"

"Can I has some apple juice, please?" Alex asked the waitress politely.

He was such a good little boy and I was so glad he wasn't rude yet.

"You are such a gentleman," Rose cooed messing with his wavy hair.

"Isn't he," I smiled.

He ignored us by shrugging his little shoulders going back to his masterpiece.

"What has Edward told you about Maggie?"

"She broke up with him because they wanted different things."

"That's it?"

"He won't say much about her. Is there more that I'm missing?" I frowned.

"My cousin needs to fucking grow up is all," she grumbled.

I heard the small gasp come from my son and he looked horrified. "Aunt Rose that's a very bad word," he said.

"This is coming from the kid who has Edward as a father," she mumbled.

"Papa says that word and he says he go to the doggy house," he explained. "Mommy tells him that not a nice word."

"Your Mommy is right and I'm sorry," she said seriously, which appeased Alex as he nodded.

"Okay what am I missing?"

"If I tell you Edward will kill me. He should have told you after you years ago. I told him to tell you and I know if it was Emmett and he didn't tell me I'd be pis…eeved," she rambled.

"Rose," I sighed.

"Maggie left Edward because he didn't want to have kid and she did," she huffed a breath.

"Just like that she left, they didn't talk about it?" I asked slowly.

Rose's face turned solemn and I knew I wasn't going to like this. We both glanced to Alex to make sure he wasn't listening. He was a parrot if he heard it he would repeat it.

"They did talk about it for about a year and a half. There was no compromising for either of them. She knew what she wanted and so did he. He would leave because he loved her…Maybe you should talk to him about this."

"We both know that it wouldn't get me anywhere."

"Maggie didn't want to move forward with someone that didn't want the same things she did. It wouldn't be right for either of them. She would have been miserable and eventually he would be too."

"I'm confused," I said with a frown. "He wanted to marry her but didn't want kids and she wanted kids but didn't care if they were married?"

"The problem was they were the same person and had no business being together. If Em were like me, he would be dead. You should be with someone that can challenge you not make you settle. They would have settled."

"But he's so… Alex is his world," I said quietly.

"There is no doubt about how much Edward loves him Izzy," she said as her voice held confidence.

"Maggie wanted a baby with him…"

"Alex changed that," she said.

I couldn't wrap my mind around it. How could Alex change his mind if he was hell bent against children?

The waitress interrupted us for our order and Alex decided he wanted our full attention leaving our general conversation on hold.

"Mommy?" Alex asked from his car seat.

"Yeah, bub?" I answered.

"If I don't sleep at Papa's he be lonely?"

I thought about my answer. "Papa loves when you visit his house."

"Papa's never at his house he always with me," he said confused.

And my three-year-old knew every thing. I gave him a half answer to his inquisition and began to think maybe I should just leave early in the morning and come back tomorrow evening. After my brief talk with Rose about Edward and Maggie, I felt maybe he was more with us out of obligation. It made sense why he didn't want to get married he didn't want to be tied down to me.

The rest of the day just went. When we got home, I put Alex down for his nap and called Esme.

"Bella are you alright?" she asked concerned.

She was like a second mother to me now especially with Renee being in Florida. I didn't want to lie to her.

"I'm fine. Alex is giving me a rough time about tonight and I have the making of a migraine," I said. The migraine is thanks to your son.

"If you're not feeling well you can fax me or Seth the paperwork for Bree's case." That little girl needed my help.

"No she needs me too, I'd rather be there to deal with her adoption."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive Esme," I said sitting on the edge of the couch looking down at my sleeping Alex. "I'm going to lay down with Al and see if I can nap the migraine away."

"Give both my boys my love."

"Will do," I smiled sadly, as my heart clenched.

"I love you too Bella," she said in her mother voice.

"Love you, Es. See you in the morning," I said before hanging up.

I laid down grabbing the throw from the back of the couch and placed it on us. I adjusted Alex so he was snuggled to me. From his red hair to his hazel eyes, the crooked little smile he gave when he was trying to get out of something… who would not want him? He was an angel.

I closed my eyes wishing nothing would be hard for him in this life, but knew that wasn't how life worked.

Like this morning, I could feel him he wasn't close, but he was in the room. I opened one eye noticing the room was slightly darker then before our nap.

"I had to call my mom when you didn't answer your phone," he sighed.

Alex was still in my arms drooling on my shoulder. I looked at the clock on the digital cable box and it was two o'clock.

"So you have a migraine?"

"Yeah," I answered shortly closing my eyes again.

"What did Rose say?" he spat in a low voice.

"I have a headache, not now," I snipped right back.

"Bullshit," he mumbled. "You're fucking acting weird. It started this morning and now it's worse."

"We will talk about this when he's not in the room and in bed tonight."

"You're not going to Seattle?"

"I'll leave in the morning."

"Tell me what the fuck she said," he said and as his voice rose Alex stirred in my arms.

"Go home," I said.

He blanched in shock. The usual cool Edward Cullen was just bristled.

"Fuck that," he roared.

"I told you to go home," I said calmly.

I felt Alex holding tighter onto me. He was used to a loud Edward, but Edward never spoke this way to me.

"Mommy," he whispered and I knew Edward heard it because his face looked pained.

"I'm going," Edward said throwing his hands up in defeat.

He paused looking at Alex, I could see he wanted to comfort him and he was having an internal struggle on what he should do.

"Give Papa a kiss bye," I murmured rubbing his back.

"He yelled," his little voice whimpered.

"Edward," I said hoping he would fix this.

Edward took a deep breath kneeling in front of us. He carefully reached out and brushed Alex's tears away.

"Xand I'm sorry I yelled," he whispered leaning over me to kiss his head.

"Yelling hurts," Alex sniffled.

Edward laid his head on my chest so he was closer to Alex. I wanted to cry at the stress of all of this. We were all going through this the wrong way.

"I will try to not yell, Xand. I'm not perfect, but I can't see you cry man," he said running his fingers though Alex's hair.

Edward kissed him again before he left. He said not one word to me.

A/N: This was done but their fight was much more vicious and I was like too much to soon… Soooo I re-wrote it? Dolphin62598 is my beta! I enjoy your reviews and if I don't get back to you I do read my reviews off my phone while I'm at work… Your reviews pave a pathway for me.