A/N: This was edited on 7/17/04 to correct mistakes made when originally updated. The content hasn't been changed, but time connotations have been inserted. I apologize for not doing it correctly the first time. Apparently, the saying haste makes waste is true.
James didn't return to the flat that night, but Lily assumed he had just chosen to go out somewhere with somebody. At ten fifteen, she told herself it was none of her business and promptly went to bed after punching her pillow a few times.
The next morning, when she discovered James was still not home, Lily shot a guilty glance around her home and opened his closet. His shoes were neatly lined up and only one pair was missing. However, two hangers were empty. She narrowed her eyes and continued looking around. This was truly suspicious and perplexing.
Lily couldn't starve her curiosity; she started snooping. Immediately she headed for the bedside table, but her hand hovered for a moment before she pulled it open. Inside was a great many things. In the little cabinet beneath the drawer were books. She dismissed them after glanced over them quickly, and then moved up. Inside the drawer was an empty ring box, a Christmas card, a pair of glasses, a flat, rectangular box, and a bunch of photos. She slowly lifted each item and examined it. The box was the one their wedding bands had come in. That Christmas card was the one she had made him when he spent the holiday with her parents. The glasses were the ones she had thought she had lost about a week after they got married. The photos were all of her. Some of them were of her sleeping outside, some of them were with her friends or his friends, and many of them were of them together. The flat box held their wedding picture. Inside a copper frame in a black and white shot, Lily was leaning against him and James had his cheek perched on the top of her head. She was laughing and he was smiling happily.
Both of them looked like life couldn't get any better.
When James didn't come home that night either, Lily started worrying. She considered visiting Sirius or Remus or Peter, but she wasn't able to work up the nerve. Each of them would give her a knowing look and come to the conclusion her alarm was a wifely response. That severely limited her options to one person: Penelope Potter.
Lily gave into vanity and redid her pony tail and changed into clean clothes before going next door. Penelope answered the door, and both Mrs. Potters looked surprised at each other. Neither woman could actually believe Lily was there.
"Ummm, can I help you with something, Lily?" Penny asked, looking over the other woman's shoulder.
"I hope so. Can I come in?" After stepping just inside the door, she continued, "James hasn't been home for two days. Do you know where he might be?"
"I have no idea what his specific actions are, but he left several times for tasks his little group asks of him," Penelope answered after a moment of hesitation. "They generally give him no notice, and somebody else comes to the house to get him some clothes."
"Oh. I see. I should've thought of that. Well. Thanks for your help," Lily said awkwardly. She gave a half shrug and then smiled. "See you later. I guess I better go home and get back to my fascinating life of reading crappy novels."
Penny flashed a blindingly perfect smile and laughed. "I've been doing the same thing. Apparently we have more than James in common."
"Apparently," Lily agreed drolly. She turned to leave, but Penny stopped her.
"Hey, sometime that he isn't home and you want a sandwich or something, you can come over here. I would enjoy the company."
Lily narrowed her eyes and her expression changed several times. Penelope's motivation for the invitation could range from genuine loneliness to something less honest or kind. "A long time ago, I would have said yes, but I can't now. Chalk it up to being badly treated, but I'm not the happy and trusting person I used to be. I'm not willing to walk into a situation where my feelings could be hurt again."
"My intent isn't anything so terrible. I'm just curious about the sort of woman I lost James to. I'm really not accustomed to having a man leave me for someone else."
Lily very nearly left immediately, but instead she stayed and admitted what she had finally realized and what had been digging at her increasingly. "He left you for a wonderful woman that no longer exists. James left you because he loved a happy and optimistic person that showed him what was good in life. I was willing to force through his nasty shield of sarcasm and gloom to be his friend. That Lily isn't alive anymore. Most likely, he made a serious error in judgment. He should have stayed with you, Penelope."
"You dug him out of his personal gloom, so maybe he can do the same for you. Perhaps James just sees what's hidden."
"No. Secrets and lies are something I still have no talent in. He should be with you. I need to go now. Goodnight."
Lily went back to her flat and looked at the pictures in James's nightstand.
"What did you find out?"
"Not enough," James answered. "They never referred to her by name, but the insider they keep talking about is called Lebanon. She is the number one converter for him and she has a 100 percent success rate, so nobody will rat on her. All of them are surprisingly closed-mouth."
"You didn't draw too much attention to yourself, did you?"
"I hope not. However, I do have to hurry. They want to give me the mark and all that goes with it in two weeks."
"I don't suppose you'll consider doing it. We need another man on the inside besides Snape."
James gave him a stern look. "How do you think Lily would react when she found out? I won't do it, Harold, and that's that. I need to go home now."
When James finally let himself into the flat, he found Lily sleep on the floor by his bed. Photos were scattered around her, and Marauder, Celeste's Kneazle, was halfway falling off the bed. He tossed his satchel in the closet and smiled fondly at her before staggering to the couch.
The following morning, Lily walked into the kitchen and she was greeted by James, two plates, and breakfast that looked suspiciously decent and ordered-in.
"Good morning."
"Hmm," Lily answered. "Where were you?"
"Did you miss me?"
"I was curious when you disappeared."
"I was doing some work for the Order."
"Oh. That's what Penelope said."
"You talked to Penelope?"
"Yeah."
"Oh."
"Hmm."
"So, I see you found my Lily Drawer."
Lily raised her eyebrows and sat down at the table. "What's going on?"
"A slow seduction."
The toast she was buttering fell out of her hand. "Excuse me?" She stuttered.
"I am going to make you fall in love with me again. We're starting with breakfast."
"Where did you get that stupid idea?"
"You were looking at my pictures," he answered with a satisfied expression. "You're interested and you cannot deny that no matter how much you want to. We're meant to be together, Lily. I had a crappy childhood so that you would help me find out what I needed to know. Because of that, we could get to know each other and we would love each other. We would get married and right now we're at a bit of a bump. We'll just step over that bump and move on."
Lily glanced up at him and then lowered her eyes and began picking at her scrambled eggs.
"I have the day off. I thought maybe we could go do something together."
"I have other plans."
"Like what?"
"I have some reading to catch up on."
"I've seen that crap you read and I believe it can wait. Let's go to the farmer's market."
"Neither of us can cook, so what's the point?"
"I think we should take cooking classes together."
"Ohhhh…no."
"We can't continue eating this greased poison. We'll die of hardened arteries in ten years and we won't be able to zip a zipper in one."
"I don't want to."
"Sometimes, Sweetheart, we just don't have a choice in the matter. I already enrolled us. We have classes Tuesday and Thursday evenings at six o'clock. I'll come from work and meet you there, and if we don't create anything decent, we can go out afterward."
Annoyance flared in Lily and she gripped her fork tightly. After a moment she said quietly, "You cannot make decisions for me like I'm an incapable child."
"Are you mad at me, Lily?" he asked, leaning forward in his chair. James propped his chin on his hands and stared at her.
"Wouldn't you be angry if I suddenly started arranging your life?"
"I would be thrilled if you showed that much concern. You look furious, though."
"Maybe I am."
"Yell at me."
"Excuse me?"
"If you're mad, why don't you yell at me?"
"What good would it do, James? You're not going to cancel the classes. I could go in there and do my best to embarrass the hell out of you, but you would still make me go every night. I think you would cancel them, though, if I went to one and said I was miserable and maybe cried."
James smiled and agreed, "You're absolutely right. We're going to that first one no matter what, but if I think it upsets you, we won't go again. Just like we're going to the farmer's market even if I have to put a binding spell on you."
"You can't just boss me around like that!"
He nearly fell out of his chair with happiness when Lily finally snapped. "You're letting me, aren't you? You really don't put up a very good fight, Lily."
"I don't want to argue because I don't want you to leave! Without you, I can't have Celeste back. I'm sick and tired of having people control my life! It is not going to continue. I am my own person and I am going to eat what I want when I want. I don't care if you want toast; I am going to eat eggs. It doesn't matter what everybody thinks; I'm going go out and have a good time. If you want to leave, fine. I'll convince them to give me Celeste without you. I want my life back and I am going to have it. I'm not going to farmer's market because I am going to go shopping instead. I'm going to get some professional clothes, and then I am going to find a job. I'm going to go to work and nobody is going to convince me otherwise. Do you understand me?" By the time Lily finished, she was leaning over the table yelling at James. Her face was red and she looking murderously furious.
"If you didn't want to go to the farmer's market, all you had to do was say so, Lily," James answered mildly. He leaned back casually and began eating his omelet. To his surprise and pleasure, Lily snarled at him before stomping into her room, presumably to change clothes.
Ten minutes later, Lily slammed back into the kitchen and growled, "Don't wait up."
"Have a great day, dear."
To her credit, she managed a rather impressive sneer.
James followed her out the door and into the hallway of the apartment building to watch her leave, as did most of that floor. He whistled lightly when a dog barked at her and she silenced it with a glare.
Penelope was the first to speak, "Did you finally get her worked up?"
"Took long enough, didn't it? Maybe we can get things back to normal now."
A/N: Yeah, I updated. Yeah, I know it took forever. It's amazing how a couples days turns into a month or two. Well, that's that. I'll see you in another month. Maybe. I think this will start picking up more. Let's hope so.