CELIA
My legs are numb but I keep going. The sweat coming out of every pore is instantly cooled by the wind pushing against my face. I don't dare stop. I don't look behind me. I must keep running. The more I run the more free I feel. I'm getting farther and farther away from what I've done. A new world is all that lies ahead. It's these thoughts that keep me going, but it's also these thoughts that distract me. I lose my footing and trip over a root. I fall hard and fast. I don't have time to put my hands out in front of me, so I go down face first. The sudden stop makes me dizzy. I feel like I ran into a brick wall. I can't stop. I have to get away. I put my hands flat on the ground and try to lift myself, but my arms give out and I collapse. I'm too weak to get up, so there I stay.
The cool ground feels good against my face which is drenched with sweat. My body's still pumping with adrenaline, so I can't tell if I have any serious injuries. If my leg was broken I wouldn't feel any pain, nor would I care. I need sleep. The world around me begins to go dark and I fade away.
CROAK! My eyes shoot open, expecting to see the culprit of the obnoxious sound, but instead I'm met with darkness, a darkness that does not exist in my world.
I quickly stand. My body is sore but well rested enough to move. Another CROAK. The noise echoes throughout the woods, making it seem like it's coming from all directions. I reach down in my boot for Evan's wand. It's not there. I fall back to the ground on hands and knees, feeling for it. The brittle leaves scratch my hand as I rummage through them. I carefully feel all sticks and branches for the unmistakable crooked curve the wand displays. At last! As soon as my hands touch it I mutter, "Lumos!" and I'm no longer alone in the darkness. The sweet golden light puts me at ease, but soon becomes blurry as tears well up in my already puffy eyes.
I've become the thing I despise. A murderer. A Death Eater. I replay Walden's death in my mind over and over. I want to scream, somehow hoping that will take the memory away forever. I imagine myself as a little girl playing with my dolls in the back yard on a sunny afternoon, my mind allowed to roam free with thoughts of love and adventure, just like in my books. What would that child think of me, of her future self? The unsaid answer only makes me cry harder. Thoughts come and go in my fit of hysterics. Like Ori. I've seen the Cruciatus Curse used once, though I've never felt it myself. Some people never come out of it the same. I hope he still has the same honest heart and not one blackened by torture. I think of the man with an already tortured soul. Thorin. The man whose life I saved only to turn around and point my weapon at him before running away. I try not to imagine what he must think of me. I push all thoughts of the company of Thorin Oakenshield away forever. I'll never see them again, so why burden myself with their well-being. It's too much.
A great fear boils inside me. The Dark Lord. I killed one of his followers. A follower who comes from a family of Death Eaters, and not civilized ones. These people may as well have razor sharp teeth and claws for fingernails. They notoriously murder without good reason. Is it possible Voldemort is aware of what's happening in this realm? Freya would know what to do. I have to get out of here. I have to find her.
I pull myself up, Evan's wand in hand. The light shining from it is dim. This forest, which seems to move on its own, is difficult to navigate in the day, let alone darkness. I keep the light to the ground, looking for any sign of a path. The last I saw of the dwarves, we were only a few miles from the edge of the forest. I'm sure I can figure out how to get there. I just hope I'm going the right way.
I carefully examine the ground in front of me, making my way over the roots and around the trees, trying to keep going in a straight line. Maybe running from the company wasn't the best idea. I lost the map and I have no idea how to navigate this place. Thorin did promise Freya's safety, but it doesn't matter now. I don't see how I could ever face them again when all I've brought to their world is danger and death.
CRACK! The noise behind me makes me pick up my pace. I begin to hum so I don't hear any more unwanted croaks and creaks. It's a trick Freya taught me when we were younger. Our childhood home was one of the biggest in the Death Eater community, next to the Malfoy and Lestrange manors. Meetings would often be held there. Our parents would entertain downstairs while Freya and I stayed quiet as mice in her room. Mom and dad wanted us sleeping together when that kind of company was over. Those nights always ended with yelling and the house shaking with disagreements and entitlement. In those terrifying moments, all I wanted to do was run into my parents arms, but couldn't. Freya would tell me to close my eyes and hum, to let whatever melody I decided on take me to another place. There were lots of nights like that so I had lots of opportunities to make up new worlds. All the lands filled with castles, pyramids, quicksand, and pirate ships, I never thought of anything close to Middle Earth, nor have I ever thought of a prince quite like Thorin Oakenshield. All the princes in my books and mind have been happy, heroic men. Thorin has such an obvious sadness that he masks with sternness, but with his long hair and a certain but haunted stride, he displays a much darker handsomeness.
CROAK! I hum louder and pick up my pace. This tune sounds familiar. Where have I heard it before? It's the song Bofur, Fili, and Ori played only last night. The song I danced to. I hope I never forget it. I wonder if it has a name. I suppose if it does I'll never know. I try to make up words in hopes that it'll help me remember.
Lay down you head and I'll sing you a lullaby May you sail far, to the far fields of fortune
Back to the years of Loo-Li Lai-Lay
And I'll sing you to sleep and I'll sing you tomorrow
Bless you with love for the road that you go
With diamonds and pearls at your head and your feet
And may you need never to banish misfortune
May you find kindness in all that you meet
May there always be angels to watch over you
To guide you each step of the way
To guard you and keep you safe from all harm
Loo-Li Loo-Li Lai-Lay
May you bring love and may you bring happiness
Be loved in return till the end of your days
Now fall off to sleep, I'm not meaning to keep you
I'll just sit for awhile and sing Loo-Li Lai-Lay
Loo-Li Loo-Li Lai-Lay
I shake the image of sad blue eyes out of my head.
None of where I am looks familiar. "Don't panic," I tell myself. I'm claustrophobic and if I start to freak out I'll never find my way out of here. A small smirk comes across my face and memories dance in my mind of my childhood. During our many games of hide and go seek, I would always find Freya hiding in the same spot. Maybe it's because I was younger and she'd let me find her more easily so I wouldn't give up and cry in frustration, as kids who don't win do. As soon as I finished counting, I'd run across our lush green back yard. Cloudy skies were never glum to me because growing up in London, sunny days were few and far between. Our house was on a hill so high it felt like I was running through clouds. I'd stop at the biggest tree in our back yard, perfect for climbing, its trunk wide with welcoming branches spread out like a ladder. Every time I looked up there I'd find Freya giggling, waving her feet over the edge. I was always too scared to climb ad tag her, so she always won.
Here I stand now, underneath a tree, even wider, with fewer branches, in the darkness. I take a deep breath and ready myself for the challenge ahead.
I grab the trunk, my arms stretched as wide as they can go, and that doesn't even cover one side of it. The darkness still covers any visual I'd have of the tree, so I feel around for a branch. I find one and grip my right hand around it, pulling myself up. Luckily I'm able to reach a thicker branch with my left hand. It's harder to grip because my usually slender fingers are much shorter now as a dwarf. I step up the side and try to wrap my legs around the branch my right hand is grasping. The heavy coat and layers I wear don't make it easy, but my dancing background helps a bit. In one swift motion, I hoist myself up and get both feet on top of the branch, my hands now gripping the thicker one tight. I let my left hand go into my pocket and grab the wand.
"Lumos." I use the light to look up and locate the next available branch. It doesn't seem too far, but it's much thinner and doesn't look too reliable. But it's my only option. I slide the wand back into my pocket. The sudden loss of light seems to have made the darkness darker. I grab hold of the branch and jump, wrapping my legs around it. Now hanging like a sloth, I hold on for dear life. I've never had much upper body strength, but somehow I manage to pull myself on top of it. I use the same tactic with the rest of the tree, stopping and using the light from my wand to give me an idea of where I should take my next step.
The ordeal takes about forty-five minutes, but I finally make it to the top. I balance myself on the highest branch and stick my head out of the leaves. A light breeze caresses my face. I don't even need to use Lumos. The stars are so bright, they seem to light the treetops, making it look like a mystical clouded world. The feeling you get when you're standing on the edge of a cliff and you just want to jump off takes over. I want to climb out of the tree and run on the leaves. I want to live in this world of starlight. I look around, taking in the view, momentarily living in my world of pretend, when I see it. The end of the tree line. The way out of Mirkwood. It only looks like three miles or so. I can make it.
POP! I turn my head and in the distance, red sparks rain like a firework from the sky.
"Freya!" I gleefully shout. That's her signal! All at once the air is easier to breath and happiness quickens my heart. She's okay. She's alive. I reach for the wand in my pocket, but as I do, a terrible sound fills the space below me.
SCREEEEEEECH! I freeze. What on this good earth was that? Before I can look down, the ground shakes violently knocking me off the branch and back down in the deep of Mirkwood. Unbelievably I catch myself on a branch. I land right on my stomach. I wouldn't be surprised if I just broke a rib.
The shaking continues. I'm still pretty high up and have an obstructed view through the leaves. I can't see anything down there. More shaking. It feels like footsteps. I want to stay and hide up here, but the exit is so close, I convince myself that the darkness of the forest will blanket my presence. I don't dare use Lumos, so I slowly try to climb down blindly. I find stones on the wide branches. I drop them as a way to judge how far down the ground is. My stomach still hurts from the impact, but I don't think about it. I keep going. I drop the last stone and it doesn't take long for it to fall. The bottom isn't far. I brace myself and leap off the branch, and with a thud I land on the soil.
I hear another screech behind me and stumble to my feet. I run. It's hard to keep my sense of direction when every few seconds there's a small earthquake. The thunderous footsteps seem to be getting closer and I pick up my pace.
SCREEECH! I stop short, as the awful sound came from right in front of me. I feel my way around the closest tree and hide behind it, trying to quiet my breathing. The footsteps terrifyingly close now, the shaking is so rough it almost knocks me over. Whatever this beast is, it's right on the other side of the tree. I circle the trunk, staying opposite of its movements. Once it passes, I make a break for it. I'm so close.
Smack! I run into something. Something large enough to be a tree, but not as hard. It is soft and smells like meat and feces. I look up and see the giant silhouette of a monster looking down at me.
"AAHHH!" I scream and get up, running around its legs.
"Oi, we've got ourselves a live one!" a snot filled voice tells the others. My view becomes distorted as I now have three of these things coming after me. I sense them getting closer. I try and pick up my pace, but I can only go so fast.
"This way, boys!" I hear another grumble. They're catching up to me now. My breathing has turned into wheezing. I can't change directions or I'll lose the exit again. It feels like I'm in a dream, when you're running from something but you don't know what and you're all too aware that it's about to get you. I can almost feel the thing's fingers try to cling to my coat when out of nowhere I'm knocked to the ground.
"AAH—" My scream is cut short by a hand covering my mouth. The loud clank of swords and swooshes of bows breaking the air takes over the quiet. I try to fight the miscreant off me.
"Celia!" the familiar voice says. "Stop, it's me!" I try to get a good look. The only thing I can make out is long, braided, blond hair.
"Fili? Oh my god!"
He pushes himself off me and grabs my hand, helping me up. "It's about time we found you," he smirks. "Be quiet and stay here." He leaves to go join the fight.
I hear grunting from the ground and the beasts moaning from above. I count five shadow figures. It's all the dwarves. They came to save me.
"We can't hold them off much longer!" I hear an Irish voice yell. Bofur! I want to run and hug him. "We must make it to the field!" he shouts in between cutting the monsters' legs and trying not to get trampled. "The moonlight will save us!"
After one last slice of a sword, an all too powerful voice makes the call. "Run!"
I reach for my wand for light.
"Celia!" Thorin screams, his voice filled with concern.
"I'm here!" I shout in the darkness. I feel a strong hand grab mine. Electricity runs through my body as we run together, hand in hand. Faster, faster, faster we go. The hand holding mine grips tighter. I can see the clearing. We're so close.
"Come on!" Thorin commands. We pick up the pace like the final lap in a race. I suck all energy I have from my body and use it. Rest can come later.
Suddenly I'm showered in the white light of the full moon. We slow down and turn back towards the forest. I finally get a glimpse of the foul monsters. Trolls? They look just like the ones back home. Ugly, smelly, idiotic creatures. As soon as they run out of the forest, they come to a quick stop. Their bodies make horrible crunching sounds and their skin begins to harden, like it's turning to stone.
"It's a full moon!" the one on the far right shouts. He has a deep scar going down his cheek. "Back into the trees!" We all watch, weapons in hand, as the trolls disappear into the dark place they came from. The trees shudder, swallowing them back up. I stare at the trees lining the edge of the forest. Silence. How glad I am this was not my first impression of it because I would have been too scared to go in.
Fili puts his bow down, Bofur his sword, Dwalin his ax, and Ori his slingshot. The tingling in my arm reminds me that I'm still holding Thorin's hand, but I don't let go right away. I wait for him to let go first… He doesn't.
Ori appears in front of me. I let go of Thorin's hand.
"Thank you for saving my life." His kindness almost brings tears to my eyes and I hug him. Dwarf custom of not, I hold Ori in my arms. I let go and return his smile.
Dwalin comes over to me, his fist placed over his heart. "You saved Thorin, lass." He bows to me. Ori does the same. As touching as it is, I cannot accept their gratitude. I may have saved their prince, but I'm nothing heroic. I am a murderer.
"Thank you, but please do not give me praise. I'm not proud of what I've done." I look down and turn my back to the forest, away from that madness. Boots come into view and I look up into those eyes. I stand there for a moment, waiting for him to say something, waiting for myself to muster enough courage to say something.
"To Rivendell?" Bofur interrupts. He looks at me with a smile.
"To Rivendell," I comply. I steal one more glance at Thorin, who's now looking at the ground. I walk on, Bofur at my side, the rest of the dwarves behind me. I wipe the hand that was held on my pants, as if trying to wipe the feeling away. Thorin walks faster than the rest of us. He's in the lead. Thorin Oakenshield always gets his way.