"Mark!" Meredith gasped as she jolted awake
"It's ok" she heard Cristina say softly, "he's ok…you saved him Mer…it's ok!"
Meredith shook her head and stared blankly at her friend, letting her words slowly sink in. "Saved him?" she repeated softly, a small frown on her face. "Saved…him?" She slowly looked around her, saw Derek lying on the ground next to her and felt a moment of panic before her own nightmare came flooding back. "Mark" she whispered…her voice shaking as she remembered the seemingly endless rounds of CPR she had laboured through...on her own…because…because Cristina…"Oh!" Meredith gasped as she quickly swung her head back to look at were Cristina was sitting. "Arizona?" she asked softly as she saw the gentle way Yang was cradling the young blonde woman.
Cristina glanced down at the woman she was holding and gave a small smile. "I tried" she said falteringly…"I'm sorry"
"Oh God!" Meredith gasped again. "God no!" she started to scramble towards were Yang and Robbins were sitting, her eyes locked on Arizona. "God no…no…no…."
"I tried…to keep her awake" Cristinas voice was flat, emotionless, "thought it was for the best. But she…she was so tired…in so much pain...I couldn't…I couldn't"
Merediths hands pressed against the side of Arizonas neck frantically searching for any sign of life she gave a small cry of relief as she felt the weak thready pulse beneath her fingertips, tears flowed down her face as she whispered. "Thank you…oh…thank you"
"You…saved Mark" Cristina told her flatly, "and I…I saved Arizona."
"When you said you tried….when I saw her lying in your arms...I thought…I thought…oh…god!" Meredith sat back on her heels and looked skywards, allowing the tears to fall freely. "I thought…." She mumbled
Cristina shook her head a fraction, then with a small "oh" she looked at Meredith and whispered. "I'm sorry…I scared you…I didn't…I didn't…I uh…I tried to keep her awake, tried to keep her talking …so she could cough…clear her lungs…I'm scared she'll clot again…scared that if she sleeps…she'll never wake up. She wants to give up Mer…she hurts so bad ..she wants to give up. When she is awake...I can keep her fighting…remind her Callie and Sofia need her…but I failed...I let her down…I...I couldn't keep her awake Mer…I couldn't...I'm sorry…so sorry"
Meredith used the back of her hands to wipe her tears away and sniffed loudly. "Maybe…maybe it's for the best" she said resolutely
Cristinas head shot up and she glared at Meredith, her grip tightened around Arizonas shoulders and she pulled the woman closer to her. "Are you crazy? What are you saying? For the best! No! No…we are not going to let her go…she can't die Meredith…she can't..I won't let her…!"
Meredith reached out and grabbed at Yangs good arm. "Calm down…Cristina…calm down. No, I don't mean for a minute we are letting her go…how could you think that. Nobody else dies…nobody! Not Jerry, not Derek, not me, not you…not Mark and not Arizona…nobody else dies. Clear?"
Yang nodded and relaxed her hold on her friend before asking. Then…for the best?"
Meredith took a deep breath and looked sadly at Arizona. "We have to loosen her tourniquet again. You know we have to"
Yang nodded and switched to clinical mode. "If we don't loosen the tourniquet then not only is the supply to her leg compromised, but her circulation is affected…if she already has internal injuries this could aggravate or complicate those injuries…leading to further internal bleeding …further possible complications can include infection, sepsis…septic shock…, aneurysms…clotting…uhm…death"
Merdith recognised Yangs defence system so automatically asked. "And the consequences if we remove the tourniquet, and don't replace it?"
Cristina looked straight at her, her face blank, her voice calm. "She will bleed out…and die"
"So" Meredith said slowly. "We loosen it…and reapply it. Now…whilst she is sleeping"
Cristina gently stroked the hair from Arizonas forehead and whispered. "I'm sorry". Then with a small nod at Meredith, she bent forward and quickly released the buckle holding the tourniquet in place.
Almost instantly Arizonas body arched up, her eyes flew open and her shrill scream pierced the woodland. "I'm sorry" Cristina muttered, "I'm sorry…I'm so sorry" , she rocked Arizona in her arms as Arizona continued to scream and sob as both Meredith and Cristina looked on, the eyes scalding with tears at the agony they were forcing their friend to endure"
[xx]
"I don't think I can endure one more look of sympathy or slap on the back!" Avery sighed as he sank down in to the nearest chair.
April looked up at him and gave a small smile. People mean well Jackson, they just want you to know they care!"
He looked at her and nodded. "I know…it's just…I'm trying so hard to just get through the day…keep my head down and do my job, the way Mark would want me to…the way I know those guys would if I was the one stuck on the plane and they were here…ya know?"
"Yeah…I know" Aprils whispered. She chewed at her lip a little before asking, "Do you think that people would be as upset if it WAS us…out there…missing?"
"Huh?"
She walked over and sat on the arm of his chair before repeating. "If it was us…on the plane…do you think the hospital would be under the same big black cloud it is now?"
Jackson stared at her, he swallowed quickly and forced a grin as he said. "Sure! Sure it would…I mean…we're just as popular as Grey and Yang right? Right?" He nodded in response to his own question before adding. "So sure…they'd miss us….of course they would!"
April looked at him and raised her eyebrows a fraction…"I…I guess…but only if Shepherd, Sloan and Robbins were with us to huh?"
He gave a small chuckle and reached for her hand. "Guess so" He decided to change the subject by asking, "Did you hear about Karev? He burst in to the board room this morning…all brimstone and fire…demanding to be told what was happening…yelling that he was being left out…seems he was but …uhm…put out!"
April chuckled, and then sighed softly. "Neh…he's scared. He loved those guys. I mean…he uh…he feels bad cos Robbins got on the plane instead of him so he is all kinds of crazy with guilt over that…but mainly…he loves those guys…so he's scared … ya know…I mean…it's scary…to loose friends…we already know that after that…gun…gun man…but this…this is crazy! Six of our friends head off to help a family…and instead they…they vanish…disappear…lost…and uh…oh….it's…scary ya know…and uh…I…"
Instinctively Jackson reached up and wrapped his arms around Aprils shoulders and pulled her on to his lap. "They'll find them" he whispered soothingly, "there's no need to be afraid…you'll see…they'll find them"
April sniffed lightly then buried her head against his neck, not trusting herself to say another word, feeling the comfort of his arms wrapping more tightly around her.
[xx]
Carlos Torres stepped back from hugging his daughter. He had not been happy with her decision to come into the hospital today…but one thing he knew about his daughter was her stubborn streak was not to be argued with! Instead he had asked if he could keep Sofia with him rather than have Callie take her to day care…that way she had more time to herself and could leave the hospital whenever she needed or wanted to. But now, I was well passed lunch time, and she had not yet come home…so, in the way of Mohammed coming to the mountain…he had packed a small lunch…well…stopped at the Deli two doors down from Callies apartment…and walked over to the hospital, carrying Sofia close to his chest. He had glanced over and seen the lines of news crews…spotted the lies of security holding people at bay…and realised he had no mean of ID to prove he needed to be in the hospital! He hadn't wanted to alert Callie he was coming in…so instead had walked over to the nearest checkpoint and asked for Dr Bailey to verify his admission. She had willingly done so, and informed him that his stubborn mule of a daughter was in Arizonas office…doing paperwork!
"Do you not have an office of your own?" he had asked as he finally crept in…trying to hide his dismay at finding Callie sitting and staring silently at the two picture frames on Arizona desk.
She had smiled softly and shook her head. "No…I'm not officially Head of Ortho…not yet!" she grinned weakly, "but I'm working on it. Arizona lets me use her office to do my notes…she is always so busy she rarely gets a chance to spend too long in here so I rarely get disturbed…besides…it's nice when we get to work together side by side…even if it's only sharing a desk! "
"Hm." Carlos had nodded briefly and put Sofia down on the soft play rug he had spotted in the corner of the office. He had smiled as instantly his granddaughter started to giggle and play with the soft bricks from nearby, then he had turned back to Callie and held his arms open. "So…do I get a hug? Or is that not allowed in the office aye? "
Callie had grinned. "In this office? A hug is compulsory!" she had stood and allowed her father to pull her in to a bear hug, rocking her gently from side to side as he gently kissed the side of her head . Now as she took a deep breath he allowed her to step back, he smiled at her as she glanced at him shyly before turning to look at her daughter playing. "Arizona loves bringing Sofia down to spend lunch time with us in here whenever she can…many is the time when I have brought our lunch up here and the three of us have sat on that blanket and played with the bricks or with Mr Tiggles"
Carlos raised an eyebrow and repeated. "Mt Tiggles?"
Callie grinned and went over to a small toy box behind the desk…she rummaged for a few seconds, then with a soft chuckle brought her hand back into view…attached to it was a hand puppet…a dog with a medical coat complete with stethoscope! She moved her hand and made the puppets mouth move…Carlos gasped slightly as the puppet made several squeaky noises…then he chuckled when he heard his granddaughters laughter echoed around the office. He watched as hid daughter walked over to crouch next to her daughter…using the puppet to gently tickle Sofias tummy…making squeaky noises that matched the toy as if she was in conversation with it. His granddaughter was mesmerised…her eyes so like Callies…were wide and filled with laughter…then suddenly…that perfect little face seemed to frown…she stared at her mother…then glanced around…looking at the desk….around her mother to the door…back to the puppet and then back to the desk…her eyes were scanning…searching.
Callie sat back and lifted the little girl on to her knee. "I know what she is looking for dad…who she is looking for. Can you…uh…can you pass me that picture…the one on the right?"
"Sure…sure mija" Carlos walked to the desk and picked up one of the frames Callie had been staring at. It showed a smiling Sofia, sat between Callie and Arizona. He couldn't help it…he stared at if himself for several seconds…his eyes taking in how happy this little family looked…how full of love. He couldn't help it…his heart broke and he could feel his bottom lip start to quiver. Before his composure broke completely he gave a small cough and quickly handed the picture to Callie…watching as she held it up in front of her daughter. Callie had been right…instantly Sofias chubby little hands were resting on the image of Arizona…her little face breaking into a huge smile as Callie whispered. "Where's mommy baby girl. Where is she?"
Sofia chuckled and slapped at the picture again, her happy little squeal just making Carlos heart ache even more. He gave another small cough and quickly wiped at his eyes as he said. "I uh…brought us lunch. Figured if you were so set on staying here that I should at least make sure you are looking after yourself…so….uhm…" he grabbed the brown bag and walked over…sitting down on the soft rug next to his daughter and granddaughter…"how about you let me take over as Mr Tiggles…whilst you eat your sandwich…ok?"
"Dad…thanks but I'm…"
"Not going to argue with your father!" He took a sandwich out of the bag, and unwrapped one half of if…then passed it over to her sternly yelling her. "So…eat!"
Callie looked at him and grinned a fraction, took the sandwich and dutifully took a small bite, trying hard not to let her father see the effort it took to force it down without choking.
Carlos watched Callie intently…he knew the food was being forced down…he didn't care…she had to keep her strength up, as her father it was his duty to care for her…keep her strong…keep her…safe. #He waited until she had forced down the first half of the sandwich before speaking again. "So..I uh…spoke to your mother this morning…"
Callie just looked at him, her eyes narrowed as she took a small bite of the second half of sandwich
Carlos took a small breath and carried on. "She was catching the early flight from Miami…she should be here around 2pm!"
"I don't want her here papa!" Callie said softly
"Callie!"
She shook her head and repeated. "I don't want her here!"
"She's your mother Calliope. She knows you're hurting…she wants…she wants to be here for you…to help you…comfort you"
"Comfort me!" Callies voice was barely a whisper. "Comfort. Me?" Callie shook her head. "She couldn't even be civil to Arizona when she came to stay…didn't take the time to talk to her…to get to know her! She…couldn't make the effort to get to know the woman I love, the woman I choose to spend the rest of my life with…the woman I was raising my own daughter with…she couldn't even stay to share the happiest day of my life with me…and now…now my world is literally falling apart around me…she wants to…offer…comfort? No papa…no. I don't want that woman anywhere near me!"
"Woman?! Calliope show respect…she is your mother…you may be hurting right now…but show respect!"
"The same respect she showed Arizona?" Callie hissed back, "the same respect she showed my bastard child…the respect she showed me…her own daughter? No daddy…she said she could not stand to think her daughter would go to hell…I can not stand to see her gloat now I'm there!"
Carlos sighed and reached for his daughters hand. "She loves you"
Callie snatched her hand back. "And I love Arizona. She made me choose daddy…she lost"
Seeing that now was not the time to argue Carlos nodded. "Ok…ok, then I will take her to a hotel when she arrives. I will tell her to get a taxi from the airport and meet me at a hotel…but I cannot stop her coming…she needs to be near you Calliope…you're her daughter…you are in pain…a mother needs to comfort her daughter…she needs to be here.."
Callie looked at him and went to speak…suddenly her eyes went wide. "Airport! Oh no…daddy…what time is it?"
"Ah…a little after one, why?"
Callie stood and picked Sofia up into her arms. "Arizonas parents are flying in…their flight arrives at 3pm…I have to get to the airport…I have to meet them!"
Carlos thought of the lines of news crews out side the hospital…he thought of the stress his daughter was under and decided the airport was the last place she should be! "I will go mija…I will go for your mother…we will wait at the airport together…and we will care for the Robbins until we can bring them to you…you…you stay here with you daughter…and Mr Tiggles!"
Callie nodded and watched as her father stood and put on his jacket. She chewed at her lip and glanced at Arizonas picture. In her mind she heard Arizona say. "Your mother just needs some time Callie…she needs time to adjust…accept…she is a proud woman…where do you think you get it from? You may be the one who has to make the first step…you may be the one who has to allow her back in…be patient Callie…and be kind" Callie looked at Sofia and tried to imagine how she would feel if her daughter was in the pain that Callie was in now…"Uh…daddy!" she said softly, he turned to look at her and waited until she finally whispered, "there is a vigil…tonight…here at the hospital…in the chapel…I know…uh…I know that Arizonas parents intend to be here…if you and uh…if you and mama would like to join us…then…then…."
Carlos bent forward and gently kissed his daughters cheek. "Thank you Calliope…thank you"