We get to their last known location and see immediately that something went horribly wrong here. It's getting light now, we have been on the road all night. We would have been faster if it hadn't been for my stupid treacherous body.

_._

Of all the nights to have another pain crisis this was by far the worst fucking one. Carol knows how to inject me with the drug cocktail the doc has perfected for the flare-ups, and Eric practically forced me to pack it. Maybe he could see the pain on my face even back in Alexandria. He didn't say anything or suggest I stay behind, smart man, but he made sure we had the meds when I needed them.

And boy did I need them. From the moment I couldn't stop from screaming in agony until I was over the pain enough to sit in the cabin of the van again it took almost two hours. I vaguely noticed Abe dispatching a few stray walkers as I lay on my back by the side of the road, waiting for the drugs to take the edge off, or knock me out. Carol used the lowest possible dose, assuming correctly that I would not want to be unconscious when we arrive at our destination.

Ever since Daryl left the house Carol has been pretty cold towards me. This night she sat next to me, held my hand, wiped my brow with a wet cloth while I tried to keep from screaming every time a new spasm seized me. When the drugs finally started to kick in and I was able to focus on something else beside the pain I noticed her there for the first time. She smiled down at me, her face full of pity.

"I owe you an apology."

"How so?"

"You do love him, don't you?"

"More than my own life."

She nodded then, tears in her eyes, and squeezed my shoulder.

_._

Now we stop the van next to the burnt-out wreck that used to be Aaron's car. Nothing is stirring, but nobody moves for a few moments. My heart clenches in horror as I try to see into the wreck. I can't decide from this vantage point whether any of the charred remnants I can see looks like a body. The stink of burnt plastic and rubber that is starting to pervade the cabin is making me feel sick.

Abe is the first to move. He looks into the back of the van through the glassless back wall window of the cabin. Carol and Eric are in there, and I can hear them cock their weapons.

"Let's check it out. Careful, all right? Everyone where I can see them. You," he gives me a stern look, "stay here."

I nod, feeling too numb to reply. I know Abe's right, I must stay put. I'm a huge liability out here, and I hate it.

The other three climb out and approach the wreck.

_._

Twenty minutes later and we're back on the road. There were no bodies in the car, but no clues as to our two men's whereabouts, either. After a brief discussion we decide to scout, as closely as we can, the shortest way back to Alexandria from this location. We will go along the roads and, if we think a sensible shortcut leads through the woods, Carol and Abe will explore those. We're not sure how successful this plan can really be, and whether we'll be able to refuel if this takes too long, but we're all certain that Daryl and Aaron will do their utmost to get back to Alexandria as fast as they can.

In the end it surprises us all just how quickly we succeed in our quest. We are not prepared for what we find.

_._

Call it a hunch, but when we stop at the deserted gas station fifteen or so miles from where we found the wreck I suddenly feel more alert than I have since Carol dosed me up on morphine during the night. There's a prickly feeling to the back of my neck, and I can't decide whether this is a sign of impending danger or not.

Abe and Carol get out first. We've done this half a dozen times now, with buildings, abandoned cars and once or twice when we thought we'd seen movement in the woods. They communicate by glances only as they approach the station shop. Abe gestures, and Carol nods, passing him and approaching the back of the building.

Eric and I watch from the cabin of the van. The idea behind this arrangement is that Eric can start the van quickly, if necessary, to facilitate a quick getaway. Having to sit in here and not even being as much use as that is one of the most painful moments in my life. My hands ball into fists and I can feel sticky wetness as the fingernails pierce skin and draw blood.

I am rent from my self-pity by a yell, and look up in time to see Carol disappear from view behind the gas station. Abe hurries after her, then disappears as well. I look at Eric. His face is grey and I automatically reach for his hand.

Movement by the back of the building again. Abe reappears and comes towards us quickly. He looks at me but I can't read his expression.