~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~several months later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pein sighed, walking past his office door dejectedly. It had been weeks since he'd assigned one of the members to a mission. As a matter of fact, the entire base was currently under quarantine.
Kakuzu, being the cheap bastard he was, hadn't bothered to shell out for flu shots this year. And guess who'd gotten sick? Every single child in the Akatsuki base. So why did this hinder the Akatsuki's missions?
Try ordering an S-ranked criminal to leave the base for two weeks when their kid is bedridden with a runny nose, a fever, and a sore throat from all their coughing.
At the moment, all the children were in the living room in an effort to keep the virus from spreading all over the base. Pein had been sent to get a few more blankets for the children, and was on his way back to the makeshift hospital wing. The actual medical area had been deemed too small to accommodate six kids and eight worried parents, so the living room was the next best thing.
Pein came back into the room to find everything and everyone in the exact same place they'd been in when he'd left. The couch had been folded out into a bed, upon which the children, minus Tenshi, were curled up. In order to give the younger kids more space, she'd opted to rest in the easy chair. The parents were crowded around the couch, each near their own offspring, and Itachi and Kisame were by the chair. Zetsu and Tobi had gone to town for cold medicine and soup mix, leaving Pein to be the one to fetch any items the others needed. Like the covers he was now holding. "Someone ask for blankets?" he asked, pushing he way to the couch.
Ahato and Boom were curled up next to each other, both trying to rob body heat from their twin. Amaifuyu was sitting up, blowing his nose, and Heki and Hakushi were at the foot of the bed, coughing up gunk.
Pein quickly draped the covers over the children, adding to the three others already piled onto the couch. Task completed, he approached the armchair and draped the last blanket over Tenshi. "There you go, sweetie," he murmured. The illness infesting the base had brought out a surprisingly tender side to the leader, which may have also accounted for not forcing the members to go on missions.
Tenshi looked up at him with half-lidded eyes, her face flushed. "Hn," she replied, before allowing Itachi to wrap the covers tightly around her.
"Thanks," Kisame said, although whether he was translating for Tenshi or actually thanking the leader would forever be a mystery.
Boom whimpered on the couch, looking up with tears in her eyes at the sculptor standing over her. "Dei-dei, it hurts," she whined, sniffling.
"I know, un," Deidara murmured, stroking her and Ahato's heads gently. "Being sick's no fun."
"Danna," Ahato whimpered, coughing.
"I'm here," Sasori replied immediately, sitting down on the couch next to his children.
"Danna, I wanna sit in your lap," she requested. The Akasuna quickly picked her up and ,after pulling a blanket tightly around her, set her in his lap. Deidara didn't even wait for Boom to voice her request, and soon held his other daughter close to his chest.
Meanwhile, Amaifuyu had started coughing and sneezing. Hidan was sitting on the floor by him, thumping his back as he coughed. "I hate being sick," Amaifuyu grumbled, grabbing a tissue and blowing his nose again.
"It sucks," Hidan agreed. The zealot then smiled. "But it's also the only time your dad won't bitch about sitting around on your ass all day." This remark earned him a cuff from the banker, which only made his smile grow.
Heki and Hakushi were reclining with their heads in Konan's lap, allowing their mother to smooth down their hair in a soothing manner. "Mommy, I hate the flu," Heki complained.
"Me too," Hakushi muttered, for once in agreement with his twin.
All heads turned when Tenshi broke out into a long coughing fit, accompanied by several dry heaves. The child shut her eyes and bit her lip, obviously trying to hold back the whimpers that wanted to escape her mouth. Kisame paled, while Itachi gently rubbed the girl's back. "Shh, it's ok," he whispered, kissing the child's forehead.
"We should've asked Zetsu and Tobi to kidnap a medical ninja," Kakuzu stated. "It would've been cheaper, and more effective then sending out for soup and medicine."
"It's a little late for that suggestion," a voice called out. Everyone turned to see Zetsu and Tobi enter the room, Tobi skipping merrily along while Zetsu slowly walked behind. Both were carrying plastic bags, which they set down in front of Pein. "We got the stuff. I doubt it'll be very effective though." Pein would have made a retort, but at that moment nearly all the children began wheezing. Without waiting for additional orders, Zetsu exited the living room, heading for his own chambers and muttering under his breath.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~one week later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Virtually no progress had been made with the children. If anything, they were getting worse. Tenshi was by far the sickest, running a fever over 104 last time she was checked. "Can we please get a medic now?!" Sasori snapped. Deidara made no comment; he was too busy staring at his daughters, who had been sleeping for the past two days, their faces flushed with fever.
"I second that motion," Konan stated. Heki was also unconscious, and Hakushi was coughing like there was no tomorrow.
"If we don't get a medic in here, they're going to end up in the hospital," Kisame remarked, kneeling down by Itachi. The Uchiha was sitting in the easy chair, holding Tenshi. By some miracle of fate the girl was still awake, although she clearly had no idea what was going on around her.
Pein knew better than to argue. "I'll send Zetsu out immediately-"
"It's too late for a medic," the schizo said, walking into the room. It was the first appearance he'd made since the grocery trip. "They'd be beyond hope by the time we got back."
"Then what the hell do you suggest we do?!" Hidan shouted.
"Give them this." For the first time, the other Akatsuki members noticed a clay bowl in Zetsu's hand, a spoon held in his fingers.
Wordlessly, the plant man crossed the room and kneeled down in front of Tenshi. "She doesn't look too heavy…" he murmured, dipping his spoon into the bowl and scooping out a small amount of ivy-colored paste that smelled like mint. He frowned, scraped a bit off on the side of the bowl, then brought the paste to Tenshi's lips. "Tenshi, open your mouth. Please."
The girl tilted her head back to look at Itachi. The weasel hesitated, then nodded. Tenshi opened her mouth, allowing the plant man to spoon feed her the medicine. She wrinkled her nose, then swallowed. "Gross," she whispered.
"I added mint to better the taste. Guess it didn't work." Once he was certain the Uchiha girl had swallowed the medicine, Zetsu walked to the couch and gave the other five some of the paste, varying the dosage based on size. "Give them more every hour, until this runs out," Zetsu prescribed, handing the bowl to Konan.
The female, as well as the rest of the Akatsuki, stared at Zetsu. "Zetsu, um…"
"Don't mention this. And don't expect this kind of help ever again."
"Why are you helping us now?" Pein asked.
"…They're cute kids," the schizo muttered, before exiting the room.
--
Three days later, the children were back to full health, and causing as much mayhem as ever. Zetsu and Pein were sitting at the kitchen table, watching calmly as the children ran through the house, nearly tripping several other members in the process. "We all owe you a huge thank you."
"I told you not to mention it. Besides, I didn't do it for you people."
"Really," Pein said with a smile.
"Of course not. Sick people taste funny, that's all."
"Keep telling yourself that," Pein murmured, sipping his coffee.