Chapter 20

Much to her dismay they appeared in the all too familiar room that had been designated to them when they had first arrived at Thanos' palace. The evil darkness that pervaded the entire planet left her winded its stench nearly leaving her ill the moment they had arrived. As the sick haze rushed over her Vitalini grasped hold of Loki beside her without even realizing she had done so having just naturally sought him out for comfort against the evil.

"We cannot return to earth for the time being," Loki explained sensing her anxiety well aware of how much she had detested the place from their initial stay. Fully aware of her tight hold on his arm he made no movements to disentangle her from his person excusing himself with the logic that she may very well still get sick from the fetid air of the this planet.

In reality Loki enjoyed that it was him she had seemed to naturally seek comfort from, it was him she reached for to comfort her, to protect her. At the same time an unfamiliar sense of guilt pricked at his mind knowing he should not have brought her here. He had taken her to Earth for this very reason he didn't want her to feel that danger or the darkness. Away from it he wanted her to look at him- without that influence, to just see him as only she seemed able to do when no one else ever had.

"They will be looking for us if we did."

"I understand," Vitalini nodded solemnly forcing herself to step away from Loki unsure if given the chance she would let him leave her side at all if she did not remove herself. Breathing deeply to recalibrate her uneasy mind she risked a glance out the window to the chaotic dark world beyond. In all honesty she was not surprised that they could not return to the apartments he had taken her after their initial stay in the palace. The Avengers had managed to track them once and to do so a second time especially with her presence for Loki to worry about would be easier even with Loki's sorcery masking them.

Loki wasn't even aware that he held his breath as he waited for her next move. He stood silently watching fully expecting her to turn on him, change her mind and beg for him to take her back to Thor. At least with Thor she would have a better chance of returning to Asgard and relative safety, more than he could offer her himself. He was waiting for her to gentle eyes to turn on him the hopeful light that had only recently looked up at him trustingly turn cold and hateful. Since he had taken her with him from Asgard Loki knew he had expected too much of her, thinking that she would remain here with him in such a dark desolate place.

Everything that he expected never came.

Vitalini turned away from the window her bright gaze returning to Loki the clear blue of the sea touch by the sun on a clear cloudless day. Even in all the time she had spent with him and all the times she looked at him that clear gaze had not changed, remaining untouched by darkness seeming to see so much.

Still he waited the air frozen in his lungs stinging with each moment he remained silent. He waited for the words he had always envisioned. His body tensed as she stepped forward those keen eyes seeing far too much. Unable to help himself Loki looked away needing the moment to compose himself before looking back to her once again believing that he would finally see the condemnation staring back at him through her eyes. Yet, once more he found himself surprised to find that no such look staring back at him.

What Loki did not expect was for Vitalini to walk back to him in brisk steady steps. Standing before him her hand lifted her slim fingers skimming lightly against his cheek the warm touch of her skin like a fire burning straight through his usual cool skin. When her gentle touch skimmed too close to a tender gash at the corner of his eye reaching across his pale cheek he started at the sudden sting.

"You're still hurt," Vitalini spoke gently her eyes turning concerned.

Vitalini didn't move away when Loki winced her fingers continuing to gently trace the scrapes and bruises that remained marring his pale cool skin. Without even realizing it Loki turned into her hand nuzzling her palm seeking her warmth.

"You didn't even start healing yourself," Vitalini observed softly.

"I had more pressing matters to attend to," Loki smiled chuckling at her appraisal of his obvious state of dishabille.

"Why didn't you," Vitalini questioned forcing herself to hide her annoyance with him for being so irresponsible with his own health. No Asgardian, even one of Loki's advanced skills in sorcery could heal themselves completely after battle or illness but he did have the ability to at least help the pain and help the healing process along.

Loki looked down at her brow raised expectantly waiting for the answer to click in her mind. He was not left waiting long before comprehension dawned across her features.

"Oh."

"Yes, oh," he smiled teasingly wincing as her finger skimmed too close to yet another tender cut.

Vitalini merely rolled her eyes at his failed attempt at humor her complete attention centered only on his wounds. Breathing deeply she concentrated her power pulling it forth from the far reaches of her body for her use. She felt it fill her body pushing it through her to her fingertips. Sensing her magic the moment she released it Loki grew still waiting curiously to see what Vitalini would do next.

The magic flowed through her body and with enough concentration Vitalini managed to center it into her fingertips. Feeling the tingling warmth of the magic quit literally at her fingertips Vitalini's hands came to Loki's face cradling his strong jaw in her hands. The moment her hands glowing faintly with the warm golden light touched his skin Loki felt the warmth he had felt earlier now magnified as she sent her own healing magic into him. Without even needing a looking glass he knew the nasty cuts and bruises were already well on their way to being healed as Vitalini's magic spurred on the healing process.

For several long moments he stood silently taking the opportunity of her distraction to watch allowing for her to do as she pleased with her person. It remained obvious that her control over her own powers was strained by her lack of experience. Her eyes opened once more revealing the shimmering blue beneath her pale lashes. Although she had finished, her magic receding back within her Vitalini's hands did not move from Loki. Instead she stood there unashamedly wallowing in the coolness of his skin against the heat of hers, his strong jaw beneath her hands and the handsome face with soulful emerald eyes that stared back at her.

Vitalini took the moment for herself without shame. She took it uncaring of what he thought of her or felt- or even refused to feel. She took that moment because she was scared. The whole place surrounding them was filled with an evil miasma that always seemed to linger from them as if just waiting for the moment to strike at them swallowing them into a dark void of chaos. It was all Thanos and now that they were once more in his grasp it became impossible to ignore Loki's involvement with Thanos as she had previous done.

Loki was confident in his abilities, always had been. In that respect he was more like Thor than he may like to admit but Thanos was different. Thanos knew more, he was dangerous to them all. Unlike Loki Vitalini could not pretend otherwise when there was every possibility that their lives could end in a blink if Thanos wished it. There was every possibility that it could all end before she had 'that'. For what seemed like centuries she had lived always being unsure, always unsure if she could ever grasp it if only just once. Always unsure if she would ever have the chance to pretend it was her's to take or even to truly show Loki as well as tell him everything.

And now all those possibilities seemed even further away, more impossible than ever, darkened by the looming shadow of Thanos.

The truth was she would hold out forever. That was the truth. When she had told him that sooner or later she would not be able to wait any longer Vitalini knew she had been lying. But if they did not survive until that time came when she had to give in or he finally saw the light Vitalini knew now that she did not want to take that risk. She didn't want to wait. She didn't want to risk the end of the world without having had experiences that she had for so long denied herself.

It was for that reason that she would now allow herself this one moment- for a moment- no more waiting.

Vitalini never gave Loki the opportunity to guess at her move. She kissed him, without warning, without permission. Her lips were warm and soft. Even if he had meant to move away Loki would not have been able to do so as Vitalini's fingers combed through his sleek raven hair teasing the slight curls. Loki had no intentions of moving away instead he kissed her back his strong arms wrapping tightly around Vitalini's slight frame keeping her locked against him unable to escape if she herself suddenly decided to run.

A lifetime of passion suddenly exploded. The emotions unleashed, she didn't think her heart could bare it beating a erratic tempo against her chest that she was sure Loki would feel being pressed so close against his body as she was. Loki explored her mouth so thoroughly. It was so unbearably intimate it made her ache all the more for what she had always denied herself.

Even if she had meant to simply kiss him, allowing herself that one moment there was no turning back now. Having it, feeling it, touching it was intoxicating. Love and passion, they were so entwined yet separate in the heart and body. This was indeed what she wanted- but she also wanted love as well. She wanted to hear Loki say it, to know it, for him to know it. This was none of that, only half. And in her heart she knew that if she were to walk away now there would be so much she would miss, all that she would possibly never have the chance to grasp again. Even passion was better than nothing at all.

With that in mind Vitalini gave herself to the passion letting it wash over her, inflame her pushing all her love into that passion for Loki. Perhaps, in her own selfishness she would show him in action all that she wanted him to know ensuring in his mind all that she had told him. And so she gave himself over Loki her body completely melting into his control. Before she knew it she was being pulled into his lap as he sat against a nearby chair as if no longer able to keep them standing on his own.

Bracketing her face in his pale cool hand, he angled her head to deepen the kiss. Unused to such intimacy Vitalini squirmed in his lap not truly knowing what to do next but let him lead her, letting him hold her tighter, letting him take more. Stroking deep with his tongue he had to have more, this softness, this heat that sent his icy body up in flames. Yet, he knew that if he did not slow himself he would scare Vitalini off, but even so he couldn't stop.

Inside him things were shifting with the deep, bone shivering howl of ice splintering off from a glacier. Old pockets of emptiness were filling in; new chasms of need split. It hurt. He was being rearranged deep inside, forgotten places, forgotten emotions and this woman was to blame. Somehow she managed to get inside him unlike anyone else ever had.

From the beginning it seemed that his life had been cruelly designed by an unforgiving fate. When he had first fallen into the void left as the rainbow bridge was destroyed Loki had tired of pretending that there wasn't the smallest hope for himself. Seeing the look of disappointed disapproval staring back at him from his father's all seeing eye and Thor's attempts to save him only seemed to rub avid into the already festering wound seemed to be the only things Loki could remember of his life among his family- pity and thinly veiled hate. Even so, among all those bitter memories here was Vitalini. He had the chance to release her but he sought her out like a moth to the flame never knowing how much he truly wanted her until he lost her.

Every moment she was there Vitalini made him feel emotions long since forgotten breaking through each carefully erected barrier. Vitalini had been the spark and somewhere along the way without even realizing it Loki had become depended on that spark, he clasped onto that spark wrapping himself around it. Then she had stood against him blue eyes blazing hotly willfully demanding for him to listen to her- and Odin help him he wanted to- but could he believe it. For a woman who was supposedly a servant meant to serve him as her Prince she found it rather easy to speak against him. What he appreciated was how truthfully she spoke. In such a small amount of time Vitalini had become more to him than even Loki wanted to allow himself to admit and now, he realized, whatever was changing within him wasn't willing to deny that fact any longer. Even more, he realized that he didn't want to.

With that realization a white light suddenly exploded before his eyes flashing through his mind in a blinding ray of repressed memories. The final link in the chain meant to keep the door on those memories closed snapped giving way, the door creaking open flooding his mind with all that he had once sought to forget.

Vitalini had told him that her magic was no longer president in keeping those memories at bay its power having long since faded from his mind unable to stand against his own. Truth be told Loki was sure that her magic had died from his mind long ago unable to stand against his own for long. Now that he wanted to know, now that he did not care of the past the last mental barrier fell away with such ease.