Series: Hunter X Hunter
Title: Alice
Rating: PG
Pairing/ Characters: Kurapika, Kuroro, and the rest of the Ryodan
Word Count: 552
Warning/s: CRACK. I'm sorry. I had to. I just had to. And Kurapika's in the Ryodan for this fic.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Dedication: koneko bombay, for her devotion, and the amazing prompt "Kurapika in Wonderland"
The mission required, understandably, for them to be undercover.
This was not a surprising fact, considering that they were the Ryodan, and that the Ryodan pretty much was to be undercover constantly, if they were ever to get any work done. Kurapika didn't really mind it all that much; usually all that was required was a pair of dark shades and a cap. The worst it had ever been was when he had to wear a pair of colored contacts, and some out of character baggy clothing.
Unfortunately, the owner of the mansion they were breaking into had some very odd… quirks. A mafia leader, the man had plenty of money, and chose to spend it in very selective ways. The man had a strong appreciation for aesthetically pleasing people, wearing peculiar and varied fashions.
Simply put, the old geezer was a pervert.
Luckily for the Ryodan, it wasn't completely devoid of aesthetically pleasing people. Shizuku, if one were to disregard her flaky persona, looked very striking in a nurse outfit that curved in all the right places. And Machi made a very convincing playboy bunny, if you could work your way around the glare she seemed to be shooting everyone who had stared for a millisecond too long.
Kuroro surveyed them thoughtfully, pleased with how they had turned out. He had personally been expecting much more argument from Machi, and felt relieved that she hadn't threatened to decapitate Nobunaga, like she did the last time such a situation had arisen.
But there was something missing.
"Two's just not enough. The mansion's too big for a two person team to be completely efficient, and it will be difficult for you two to locate the artifact since your skills are not specialized to do so. It would be ideal for another to join you," Kuroro said, and everyone had to agree with his logic. Until they realized what exactly it entailed, of course.
Surprisingly, Nobunaga was the first to catch on.
"I don't make a good girl, danchou," the swordsman quickly said, a sense of panic filling his eyes.
Phinks snorted. "I think I speak for all of us when I say we don't particularly look forward to seeing you in a dress, either."
"And a loincloth is better?" Feitan shot back, successfully irking Nobunaga.
It was quickly agreed that Kuroro, Phinks, Nobunaga, and certainly Franklin could not even remotely pull off being female. They then turned towards the remaining three, looking at them in a very indiscreet manner.
Shalnark, seeing the mad glint in their eyes, shook his head immediately. "I have to stay so to maintain communications," he reasoned, "and I have manly arms. See?"
Kuroro nodded at this; it was only too true that no other member of the Ryodan could be truly trusted with something as finicky as technology.
And then there were two.
Feitan's sharp spike in Nen as he raked his deranged stare across all of them convinced them that actually, there had only been one real choice in the beginning.
"Didn't Alice," Nobunaga phrased carefully, "have blonde hair?"
Phinks nodded. "Blue eyes, too."
As the entire Ryodan turned towards him, to give him a slow head to toe appraisal, Kurapika fervently wished that he had never joined them.
The dress, to his chagrin, fit him perfectly.
AN: Requests are loved. So keep them coming.