a/n: There's some sexual content in this here chapter, and likely one's to follow. The more you know!
"I love you also means I love you more than anyone loves you, or has loved you, or will love you, and also, I love you in a way that no one loves you, or has loved you, or will love you, and also, I love you in a way that I love no one else, and never have loved anyone else, and never will love anyone else."
He called a council with the elders.
They gathered in the throne room, older men with panicked eyes. Fear permeated their every move. Gilgamesh sat atop his throne, Arturia by his side, and observed them. The questions came thick and fast.
What was going on?
Why had Gugalanna appeared?
What of the ritual?
Gilgamesh held up a hand. All talk ceased.
"I refused the Sacred Marriage rite," he said. Someone gasped.
"My king, why would you do such a thing? Surely you have doomed us all!" said one of the elders.
"You doubt me?" Gilgamesh asked.
"It is against the law!" The elder turned toward Arturia. "My lady, please, surely you cannot condone this."
She stood there, hands behind her back, solemn and quiet. Gilgamesh was acutely aware of her presence. He longed to touch her, but restrained himself. Arturia looked at the elder with grave eyes and shook her head. Gilgamesh felt irate on multiple levels.
"Do not use Arturia to try and manipulate me," he snapped, outraged. "I am the law, and I decree it is now changed."
Gugalanna roared. The throne room trembled. Motes of dust spiraled throughout the air. They exchanged uneasy glances.
"You would go against the gods themselves?"
"Yes," he said.
"Oh my king, you have brought ruin upon poor Uruk," replied an elder, bitterly.
"No harm will befall my city," Gilgamesh said, resolute. "I need inventory to be taken of all the grain currently stored away, and we may have to put a rationing order into effect. Also, the priestesses of Ishtar are forbidden from entering the palace. If they have any requests, they may use the council as a mediator."
Arturia shifted and he could tell she disapproved, but she didn't intervene. Further protests erupted.
"Madness. You cannot just forbid the priesthood. They are the other half of Uruk's governing body!"
"I just did."
The council tried to argue, but Gilgamesh had no intent of budging. He became bored and irritated by their nattering, but before he reached the limits of his patience, the throne room doors banged open. Everyone swiveled toward the disruption, surprised, and watched a young man sprint inside and hurl himself onto the floor.
"Forgive me, my king!" he sobbed. "I bring you a message of great import. A scout has returned, and reports of an army from the north marching toward Uruk."
Everyone remained silent, absorbing the information. Gilgamesh smiled, mirthless, and stood. Some part of him had expected this. Beside Gilgamesh, Arturia's green eyes blazed out from a pale face.
"You are dismissed," he told the elders. "Bring word to my generals. Tell them a meeting will be held. And I want Enkidu here as well."
...
Once the military meeting adjourned, Gilgamesh conferred in private with Arturia and Enkidu.
"This is the work of Enlil, mark my words," Gilgamesh said.
"What does it all mean?" Enkidu asked, wide eyed.
"It means we prepare for a siege," Arturia said. She had spoken little, mostly keeping her own council.
"You wish to take charge of such measures?" Gilgamesh asked. Arturia nodded. "Done, then. My resources are at your disposal."
"And what of Gugalanna?" Enkidu sounded unusually timid.
"We shall defeat him," Gilgamesh said. "I had a prophetic dream a while ago. I now understand the vision. Enkidu, I need your hair."
They both stared at him. Enkidu seemed rather alarmed.
"But... my luscious locks," he said. "Surely there must be another way. What if we seduced Gugalanna instead?"
Arturia choked on her response. Gilgamesh snorted, and the mood in the room lightened. Enkidu grinned, gaining confidence.
"It could work," he insisted. "Have you noticed how attractive we all are? Together we are a triumvirate of unmatched allure. Gil and I go in with the one-two punch, and then Arty lands the finishing blow. I hereby dub it Project: Ride the Bull."
Gilgamesh laughed out loud. Amidst the oppressive heat, the doom and gloom, it felt good to smile and laugh, if for only a little while. Arturia appeared exasperated.
"You may be onto something," he said. "You might even say that Gugalanna would never see it coming."
Both Gilgamesh and Enkidu guffawed in unison. Shaking her head, Arturia seemed torn between amusement and disbelief.
"The two of you are insufferable," she said, which served to redouble their mirth.
Gilgamesh grinned and wrestled his emotions back under control. He said, "Right. Anyway. Where was I? Oh, yes, Enkidu; your hair."
Enkidu pouted but relented. After a couple minutes of histrionics, and then a couple more minutes spent summoning a weapon that could actually cut through his hair, Gilgamesh finished the heinous deed and gripped the thick green locks in his hand. They felt cool to the touch. Enkidu looked odd with short hair.
"I am no longer a lion but a lamb," Enkidu said, wearing the expression of one deep in mourning. Arturia looked as though she desperately wished to roll her eyes, and refrained through sheer willpower. Gilgamesh thought she looked very cute.
"I have an appointment to make," Gilgamesh announced, storing the hair in his Gate. He glanced at Arturia. "Would you like to come with?"
She blinked and then thought about it. Arturia shook her head.
"No... no, I want to begin organizing the defense. There's much to be done. Enkidu, your strength would be invaluable," she said.
"Of course," Enkidu replied.
"I shall see you all later." Gilgamesh watched them file out of the throne room. Arturia cast him one last glance over her shoulder before leaving. He remained, the events of the day sinking in. Shamash wandered by and rested a drooling chin on Gilgamesh's knee. He sighed and stroked the lion's mane.
After a moment Gilgamesh made a decision and bounded out of the throne room. He chased Arturia and caught her rounding the corner. Grabbing an arm, he pulled Arturia back and pushed her against the wall. She looked at him, shocked, as Gilgamesh kissed her hard. A great weight lifted from his shoulders.
"Did I offend you?" he whispered. A flush crept up her neck.
"No, not at all." She kissed him back. Enkidu stood nearby, but pretended not to see them, humming a jaunty tune under his breath.
Gilgamesh drew away, although not without some difficulty, and took a deep breath.
"Okay. Now I am truly off to handle my task," he said. Arturia appeared amused. She touched the side of his face, expression fond.
How unfortunate, Gilgamesh reflected, that they were on the precipice of disaster, and he had never been happier.
...
Gugalanna presided over them all above the clouds. An unwavering symbol of authority that challenged his own. Gilgamesh swallowed, and the hot, dry air parched his throat. But it did not attack. The Bull of Heaven waited, its mere presence enough to cause a famine that would ruin Uruk if left unchecked.
His people were afraid. He saw it in the way they moved, and noticed how they looked at their king when they thought he wasn't looking back.
Gilgamesh strode into Lugalbanda's smithy. His father stood off to the side, head bowed almost as if in prayer. He jerked around to face Gilgamesh.
"Wha – oh. You," Lugalbanda said. "Congrats, you fucked us all over. Again. Want a medal?"
"I will fix it," Gilgamesh insisted. His father looked skeptical. "I shall keep my most important treasure of all safe. I require your assistance."
"Course ya do," Lugalbanda muttered. "Well, whaddya want?"
Gilgamesh summoned Enkidu's hair. He said, "I need a weapon that will shed Gugalanna's hide of its immortality. You could craft such a weapon."
"Have you lost yer fuckin' mind?" Lugalbanda said after a brief, stunned pause. "You realize what yer askin' me to do? Hell, if I even can do it?"
"It can be done. I had a premonition. It must be done. I believe you are the one. More than that, you are the only one I trust."
Lugalbanda stared, motionless. He took the hair from Gilgamesh and examined it, frowning a little.
"This isn' normal – the fuck is this?" he asked.
"A piece of a divine construct," Gilgamesh said.
"Maybe it can be done," Lugalbanda conceded. "But it will take time."
"Then do it," Gilgamesh said. "There is another matter."
His armor materialized. Ruined from the conflict with Ishtar, it looked broken and pathetic in the dull, dun colored light. Lugalbanda softened.
"Oh, my son," he said. "'S always one step forward and three steps back with you, innit?"
...
The stifling heat pressed down on Gilgamesh.
Faintly, he heard Gugalanna's intermittent bellows. Gilgamesh missed the quiet noises of the night. Now only blaring roars brought on terrified silence, like the lack of sound following a clap of thunder. And before the city had a chance to recover, another roar shook it to its core.
Gilgamesh sat on the edge of the bed with Enkidu. They spoke in a low, quiet undertone. The door opened and Arturia entered. Both glanced at her.
"I will go," Enkidu said. He clapped Arturia's shoulder as he passed. She watched him leave, and then snapped around to face Gilgamesh.
"I've doubled patrols on the walls," Arturia said. "We've begun reinforcing it, as well. And I worked out a plan with the drill sergeant and generals on siege protocol."
"Good. Good. What are you thinking?" He ran a hand through his hair.
"Uruk is fairly well designed from a defensive standpoint, although the geography isn't ideal," she said. "But Gugalanna is a wild card. Right now it does nothing, but how long will that last?"
"I agree. I believe there is a means to neutralize it. Someone I know can provide us with the weapon to accomplish this feat."
Arturia looked skeptical. She asked, "You trust this someone of yours with something so pivotal?"
"I believe in him." Gilgamesh felt tired and drained.
Arturia nodded, seemingly in acquiescence. She appeared regal, serious and commanding, carved from alabaster and lapis lazuli and emerald. He understood how her people could think her a man, how she could win the right to rule despite being a young girl. Arturia more than earned her crown by fighting against a world that fought back every step of the way.
"Will you stay?" he asked.
A blush rose to her cheeks. They both knew she visited his room for more than a mere status report.
"Why was Enkidu here?" Arturia replied. He tilted his head, considering the question. The underlying implication eluded him, but it seemed to matter a great deal to her.
"I hate sleeping alone."
He hadn't wanted to assume anything, either, not after what happened last time. Arturia hesitated. Gilgamesh stood and approached. She watched him, expression softening with every step he took.
"You have no need to be jealous," he said.
"I'm not," Arturia said. Gilgamesh raised an eyebrow. "Okay, yes, I am. Because... I, you... you're special to me, Gilgamesh. I feel I can confide in you, and you can confide in me, and there's parts of us that we've shown each other that we've never shown anyone else. When I'm with you, I can be selfish without being ashamed, without feeling like it's wrong and sinful. And I value that, what we have between us. Just us."
Now he sported a blush of his own, features turning ruddy. Gilgamesh reached out and caressed her cheek.
"You have my soul. You have had it from the moment you punched me in the face," he said.
"I don't want to own you." But a smile played at the corner of her lips, even as she leaned toward him.
"Then what do you want?" Gilgamesh asked, and she stared. An uncharacteristic insecurity flickered through him. "Arturia. You – I meant it when I said I want nothing from you. I hope this is not, is not you feeling obligated to me. We do not need to sleep together, you know."
Arturia didn't answer right away, although her expression shifted and her lips parted. She cleared her throat, the blush on her face deepening. Taking his hand from her face, Arturia kissed it; the scrapes on his knuckles, marks leftover from his earlier fit, grazed her lips.
"I tell you truly, Gilgamesh, I would like to share your bed with you, and you alone, if you'll have me."
He shivered, red as the setting sun. His skin felt hot and tight, and he thought his heart might hammer out of his chest. Arturia didn't need to ask, they both knew he could never deny her, and yet she did it anyway. There was something simple and wonderful about choice. To have the ability to say 'yes' or 'no', and not be afraid of the consequences.
Expression tender, Gilgamesh recovered, finding her waist and drawing her near.
"You will stay, then?" he murmured. She responded by standing on tiptoe and claiming his mouth with her own. He bowed his head to meet her. It, them, was effortless as breathing. Gilgamesh felt he could kiss her forever and never be satiated.
He found her hair and began untangling the dense network of braids. Blonde locks tumbled free. Her blue ribbon fluttered away. He remained passive otherwise, letting her part his lips and run her tongue along the roof of his mouth.
Arturia moved closer. Gilgamesh stayed quiet and kept still. Nimble fingers traced the peaks of his dusky nipples and the ridges of his defined abdomen. The reality was so much better than any of his many fantasies, and the pounding in his ears drowned out Gugalanna's bellows.
Small hands stumbled across and then worked at the necklaces adorning him. Gilgamesh watched her struggle with the complicated clasps, amused. Arturia grumbled under her breath.
When they finally came free, she appeared pleased, and pressed her mouth against his chest, letting the necklaces clatter onto the floor. Gilgamesh's breath hitched and he felt her half-smile. Arturia explored him with reckless abandon, hands bathing him in cool fire. She removed his shawl in the process, discarding it without a second glance.
Arturia lapped at the sweat sliding down his sternum. Gilgamesh inhaled, a ragged whimper escaping him. He was far more experienced and yet with each lick he reverted back to an unsure virgin. Already Gilgamesh felt hard and desperate and fuck but he wanted her.
Even though they'd never done this before, Arturia's every action seemed familiar. Safe. Safe and kind. He loved that, loved how she wasn't perfect, but she was a good person, how she got back up every time the world knocked her down, battered and bruised but more determined than ever to find the light hidden amidst the pervading darkness. It would be so much easier to give into bitterness and cynicism, ignore all the little moments of kindness in favor of little moments of cruelty, and while both existed within Arturia, they never defined who she was as a person.
Arturia took his hands and placed them on her hips. He hesitated and then adjusted his grip, firm and sure. Gilgamesh sought out her neck, sucking at the pulse point beneath her jaw. He cupped her rear and urged her to grind against him. Arturia complied, and he tingled from the sensation the pressure provided, something tight coiling in his gut.
She moaned. The soft noise set his passion aflame, and he bit her neck, a delicate hickey blooming across pale flesh like dark rose petals. They stumbled backward, toward the bed, fumbling with each other's clothes. His were light and simple, an easy affair to untie. In mere moments his remaining skirts hung slack on his hips, precariously loose. Her dress proved more of a conundrum, and after laboring for a bit, Gilgamesh uttered a small noise of frustration.
"What chastity demon crafted this nefarious outfit?"
Arturia chuckled.
"I thought you liked my dress?" she asked, playful. Gilgamesh blinked and then smirked.
"I do. But – call it a premonition – I am sure you would look even better wearing nothing at all."
Arturia reddened. She guided him through the process, unraveling the bodice's lacework, showing what to do without words. He observed, attentive, fingers quick and clever as he grasped the concept. Her dress came undone in the most satisfying manner, slithering off her frame with the quietest of whispers.
They both stilled. Arturia looked at him and in her eyes he saw brief, intense terror. Gilgamesh wondered if she had ever bared herself, physically and emotionally, to another person before. He doubted it, and the realization sent a thrill through him. Gentle, he took her chin between his fingers and turned her face up toward his own.
"Here I am," Gilgamesh said.
The fear faded from her expression. Desire replaced it, burning bright. She yanked his skirts down and they crumpled into a pile on the floor. He stood there, letting her take in his naked form, and her face turned beet red. Gilgamesh smirked, a hint of smug arrogance returning.
She saw his expression and her own became resolute. He loved that too, loved how she never backed down, and instead rose to the challenge he presented, without making him feel inferior in the process. Then Arturia touched him intimately, solemn and methodical and borderline reverential, and Gilgamesh forgot about everything that wasn't her. He groaned and buried his face in the crook of her neck, breathing in Arturia's scent and growling her name.
They tumbled onto the bed. Gilgamesh sank into silken sheets, observing her straddle him. His hands plied the width of her hips, rubbing gentle circles against sensitive skin. He slipped his fingers between her thighs, stimulating the aching flesh there.
Arturia emitted a quiet yet keen noise. She took his hands and pinned them above his head. He let her because he trusted her, because he wanted to repay the faith she had in him. Gilgamesh watched Arturia with gentle eyes. She met his stare and her own gaze softened.
Neither looked away as she bore down on him. Arturia took him slowly, gritting her teeth as she sheathed Gilgamesh within her. He sighed from the feel of her, all power and strength, and yet still sweet and tender, surrendered to her and let her envelop him. For once, it felt like more than pleasure for the sake of pleasure. It felt like joining together with another person, sharing something deeply personal and wonderfully real. In that moment life became more than a series of random, chaotic events following each other; it held meaning.
The shackles that confined him since birth broke away, and he was set free.
...
They lay intertwined in bed, slick with sweat and spent from a long night. Arturia watched him, a small, content smile on her face. Gilgamesh returned the gesture, circling her breast with a lazy thumb. He was tired, but in a good way, like after an excellent training bout.
"Did I not predict you would enjoy it?" he asked, teasing her. Arturia blinked before comprehension dawned in her gaze. She seemed somewhat embarrassed but also amused.
"You were right," she mumbled.
"Hmm? Say that again?" he asked.
"Not happening." Arturia smiled openly now.
"Is it so difficult to accept that me being right is a natural state of the universe?" Gilgamesh laughed and she gave him a light, playful cuff about the head.
They tussled for a moment, and it might've given way to more if not for Gugalanna's ear piercing cry. The smile faded from Arturia's face and she turned pensive.
"Why do you feel guilty?" he asked, reading her expression.
"Despite everything, here we are, fooling around like teenagers," she said.
Gilgamesh contemplated his reply.
"You know, I had an epiphany, while you were telling me about your Lancelot. They want us to be miserable and ashamed. They want us to lash out so they can put the blame on us and avoid any and all repercussions. Well, I am tired of being miserable. Perhaps they can dictate the consequences of our actions, but they cannot dictate how we feel. If for only one night, I choose instead to be a fool in love."
Arturia flushed and then sniffled, burying her face in his shoulder. Gilgamesh felt tears dampening his skin. Concerned, he touched her.
"What is wrong?" he asked.
"I'm happy." The response came out muffled. Gilgamesh relaxed and rubbed the small of her back. They still heard Gugalanna in the background, omnipresent and unavoidable, however much they tried to ignore him. "You truly think we can win?"
"I know we will." He almost added that that he would support Arturia so that she wouldn't fall, and if she did he would help her find her feet; that he knew she would do the same for him. Instead, Gilgamesh simply said, "I believe the two of us can accomplish anything together."
Arturia said nothing at first.
"What happens now?"
"Now?" Shifting, Gilgamesh rolled over, the length of his body pressing down on her. He put the brunt of his weight on his forearms, and kissed the remaining tears from Arturia's cheeks. "Tonight we make love. And tomorrow we prepare for war."