A fairly short chapter, but STEAMY scenes. Be warned!

Ignorance is Bliss

James leapt to his feet as soon as his ears caught the heavy sound of moving concrete, a quick glance at the clock told him that it was long past curfew and the words were out of his mouth before he could stop himself. "Just what the hell are you playing at?" the anger was too prominent, even to his own hears.

Lily jumped at the sound of his voice, her head snapping up to his eyes with a panicked haze of emerald, the tremor of fear in her eyes was enough to have James reeling with regret and his own heart mirroring her panic. He waited for her to say something, yell at him for scaring her, scowl and kick up a fuss about something—anything. But she merely continued to stare at him as though she was too wounded to speak. He crossed the room in a few large strides, looking out for injuries or anything that would clue him in on her state of distress.

"What happened? Are you hurt? Was it Snape?" he seized her upper arms in a tight grip as he held her at arm's length, eyes scanning over her a few times before he met her eyes again. A frisson of fear ran down his spine at the thought of Snape ambushing her again and it genuinely annoyed him. Being afraid was not something he was familiar with, he didn't know how to react, so he did in the worst way possible—he lashed out at her. "Are you barking mad?"

Lily frowned, confused and insulted. "It's nearly two hours past curfew. You heard what Dumbledore said, Lily. How could you be so stupid? Wandering about the castle on your own. Just what were you thinking? They could've gotten to you again! And I don't have the-" James caught himself before he could finish and pressed his lips together before looking away guiltily. A pregnant pause passed between them and Lily could not find the words to calm James down.

His eyes flicked back to hers and Lily stiffened under the intensity of his gaze "Well? What do you have to say for yourself?" he upped the pressure. Lily opened her mouth to speak but seeing him so cross with her unnerved her enough to remain silent. James never raised his voice with her, except for the time they confessed their feelings for one another. Ever since the start of their relationship, they had never fought, they would debate and Lily would chastise him but he always relented to her wishes—he always did everything to make sure she was happy.

Suddenly, everything seemed to crumble around her. The reason for Sirius' bitterness, his anger and frustrations directed her was not without ground. Was she forcing him to change for her own sake? If he returned to his trouble-making ways, would she cease to love him?

Apparently unsatisfied with her reply, or the lack of one, James shook her by the arms and forced her to look at him "Answer me!" he snapped and Lily was jerked violently back into her situation.

"Let me go." she blurted out, her heart clenching at the way James looked at her, so furious and frantic—almost identical to the way Sirius snapped at her. She'd had enough of people telling her off today.

"No." his gripped tightened around her arms and he came that much closer to lifting her off the ground. "Not until you tell mewhat's wrong with you? What time do you call this?"

Unable to stand being lectured by a hypocrite, Lily found a surge of energy and used it to shove James off of her. He stumbled back, surprised by her strength. Lily pulled away before he could make another grab at her. "First of all, Potter." Lily watched him recoil at her use of his last name and relished childishly at the small victory "There is nothing wrong with me! Secondly, don't yell at me, I'm not a child. I've had enough of people yelling at me and if you take one more step towards me, I swear—I'll hex you" the ferocity of her tone had James halting his movements. Lily used his moment of hesitation to turn her back on him, moving quickly towards her dorm, where Hogwarts would keep him away from her.

But she wasn't nearly quick enough to make it to the stairs, James had wrapped his hand around her wrist and held fast. Without drawing her wand, Lily turned her head and sent a low powered stinging jinx to his hand. "Ow!" he released her but she was immediately caught with his other hand. "Who yelled at you?" he demanded but as Lily continued to try and struggle out of his hold, he threw up an assumption "Was it Sirius?" she stilled. "It was Sirius, wasn't it?" James concluded. Lily continued to stare at the ground with the same wounded expression on her face before she attempted to pull herself free.

Suddenly desperate for her attention, James pleaded "Lily, I'm sorry. Please don't go. I won't be able to sleep like this. Something is obviously not right, can't we talk?" he sounded so helpless, it melted the makeshift ice Lily had raised around her heart—Marlene always said she was a pushover. "I'll talk to Sirius about it." James offered.

Lily whipped around wildly, her green eyes focused on his as she glared "You will do no such thing!" she snapped. "I don't need him thinking that I run to you with all my problems."

"Since when do you care what Sirius thinks about our relationship and what's wrong with running to me with all your problems? I certainly wouldn't mind" He rolled his eyes "It'd make my life a hell lot easier"

As his eyes flickered back to hers, Lily was suddenly watching him behind a carefully crafted veil of callousness and James faltered just slightly at the sight, swallowing nervously as his hand tightened around hers, afraid that he had said something wrong.

He cleared his throat "I'm sorry for yelling at you" his voice raspy while his wide and wary eyes pierced straight through her indifference. Lily remained silent. James averted his eyes to glower at the ground. "I just- I was afraid. The last time you were out roaming the castle on your own—something bad happened to you. And it seemed like it was happening again. I was going out of my mind, thinking up all the things that could happen to you while I'm stuck here. Especially now, with pricks like Voldemort on the loose." His eyes met hers almost sheepishly and Lily's heart squeezed. "And this time I don't have the map, I wouldn't know where to start looking-"

"Map?" Lily interrupted immediately, facing him fully now. For a split second, James' eyes flickered with panic and Lily found her leverage. Her eyes narrowed and she began to close the distance between them "You know, Potter-"

"James." he corrected her hurriedly, still sheepish.

Lily ignored him "I've always wondered how you always manage to be at the right place at the right time. Even the night I was ambushed, how did you know to look for me? I've been meaning to ask you but it never came up, and now that you brought it up here. What is this— map, you said?" she was a mere step away from him now and James still stubbornly refused to meet her eyes. "You wanted to talk—let's talk, Potter" Lily was deliberately taunting him now.

"Will you please, just call me James?" his eyes snapped back to hers at once.

Lily fought the urge to smile at his obvious irritation by something so trivial. "Not until you start talking. Unless you don't trust me with your abundance of secrets anymore, then I don't see what we have to talk about if we can't even trust another." Lily couldn't help sounding bitter.

"Hey, you're hiding things from me too-" James stopped before he could say anything "Can we sit down?" he glanced nervously at the flight of stairs behind her.

There were very few times when Lily had seen James' ego so humbled and Sirius' words came surging back to her.

'You're the only person that has ever made him second guess himself where not even others questioned him.'

"All right." Lily agreed softly and it pained her to see him looking so relieved, as if he expected to fail. She slid her hand out of his hold and he watched her closely as he settled onto the sofa and she passed him to sit on the armchair next to it. He raised an eyebrow.

"Why are you sitting so far away?" he asked.

"I want to be clear-headed while we carry on with this conversation" Lily retorted with the utmost seriousness.

And there it was, his ego manic smirk. For the first time, Lily found herself relieved at its appearance. "Are you saying that I would hinder with your thoughts?" he was doing a rubbish job at hiding his glee.

"Considering you spent the majority of our academic years accusing me of thinking about you, I assumed you knew." Lily prodded.

"I always knew you were mad about me." he grinned.

"Oh don't try to avoid the topic, Potter-"

"It's Ja- Now you're just being immature." he frowned.

"Speak."

"Woof."

Lily finally realized why her cheeks were hurting, she was grinning too hard.

"James!" she admonished but to no effect, seeing as she was on the verge of giggling like a lovesick schoolgirl. "We need to talk." the line was more meant for herself.

"Aren't you going to ask for my paw?" he joked and made a show of holding out his hand like a dog would for a treat, the mirth shimmering in his eyes.

"I'm not joking, James" Lily struggled to reign in her composure.

He cocked his head to one side, putting on a very convincing show of looking confused "Well neither am I. How else am I supposed to get my treat?"

Unable to contain herself, Lily stood and James did the same, the wariness returned. Afraid that he had done something to annoy her again. Instead of walking back to her dorm like James had suspected, she approached him in nimble steps before pushing him back down onto the couch. "If you don't want to talk, then we'll have to do something else" as she spoke, a sudden surge of aggression and want filled her as she took in the gob smacked expression on James' face.

Lily pushed her knees onto the sofa so that they rested on either side of his legs, his head leveled with her chest. She placed one hand on his shoulder and he flinched, eying her cautiously. He was right to be cautious, because her other hand traveled down his front, bypassed his shirt and went straight for his pants and it wasn't until she unbuckled his belt, did he manage to convince his hand to stop hers.

"Someone's randy." he tried for a nonchalant response while his cock throbbed with having her hand so close to touching him. Lily responded with a searing kiss, forcing his head to angle up towards her as she dominated every move of their lips, drew every merciless need from his body and used it against him. He grew needy and his body needier, reacting in ways he feared he would not be able to control.

He wasn't ready.

The niggling voice in the back of his mind surfaced too quickly and he pulled away just as Lily's tongue brushed his lips. "Lily, we can't-" he gasped, spiraling down from his pleasure induced high. "I can't." he elaborated lamely.

"Why?" Lily asked absently as she moved fluidly from his mouth to his jaw and worked herself down to his neck.

"I'm tired." he lied automatically. Lily cupped his throbbing member through his trousers and he jumped, his whole body stiffening.

"It certainly doesn't seem like it." Lily's voice was sultry and addictive to his ears. His breathing sped at the feel of her hands roaming his chest and kneading his groin. One of her hand reached up to his loosened tie and pulled it clean off his neck before discarding it off to the side.

"Took me forever to knot that tie" he panted.

Lily's mouth raced her fingers as she trained butterfly kisses down his neck and to his chest where her fingers were just short of tearing his buttons off his uniform. "I'll knot your tie for you tomorrow, deal?" her voice sounded amused and completely alluring. She'd switched into her sexual predator mode, where she made it impossible for him to deny her anything. It would take nothing short of beating his cock down with a hammer to stop them now. But he wasn't ready for this, he wasn't prepared to go through with it.

"Lily, we have to stop." he pleaded, yet at the same time, he was groaning at the feel of her teeth nipping lightly at his skin. Then abruptly, all contact ceased completely. James didn't know whether to feel relieved or disappointed.

"Tell me why." she hooked her finger under his chin and directed his eyes straight into hers. "Why are you afraid, James?" she stroked lovingly at his hair, running her fingers through it to make it seem like James had just gotten off his broom. Sure, she doesn't complain when she does it herself but when he does it, it was annoying.

Finally, James found the strength to lift his arms so that they came to wrap around her. He leaned his forehead against her chest and tightened his hold around her "What if your nightmares come back? I can't help but feel like I'm the one responsible for it—for hurting you." he took a deep breath "I don't know what I'll do if it happens again. I'd go insane."

Lily hadn't realized he had been so traumatized by her triggered nightmares. It broke something in her to see him confess—to see the glorified James Potter so humbled and vulnerable. She leaned down to kiss his forehead, when she pulled away, he had his eyes closed and a contented look on his face. "Then we'll do things differently this time" she whispered in his ear.

"Lily-" he tried but she had him unzipped and throbbing in her hand before his sluggish mind could think to stop her. She squeezed near the tip and he groaned. He'd wanked himself off the past few weeks thinking about Lily but having the actual person touch his member felt too surreal. Anticipation filled his chest but his hand had subconsciously wrapped around her hand to try and stop her. Then she began pumping and the strength immediately dissipated from his hand. Regardless, he continued to hold on to her wrist, a weak protest against her actions. "Stop" he groaned, his other hand moved to squeeze her hip for some sort of leverage. His eyes fell shut and his breathing sped.

She settled comfortably onto his legs "We won't have sex." Lily assured him, pressing her cheek up against his, leaning against his chest with his manhood gripped in between them "We'll start from the beginning."

"Lily" he breathed her name softly, desperately. The feel of her small warm hand moving up and down drove him closer and closer to insanity. "Oh god… Please, you have to stop. I'm going to-" he choked back his words as the pleasure wore him down and he sucked in a sharp breath as if he was in pain.

Lily kissed behind his ear and hushed him softly, "You're almost there, James. Just humor me—show me you still want me." her voice was soft and almost melancholic.

"I'll always want you." James panted urgently and as if he had said the right thing, Lily's grip tightened and her pace increased. James hissed at the surge of renewed pleasure, his head thrown back against the sofa and his fingers gripping her soft thighs.

In the midst of his blindness, James felt gentle lips pressed firmly against his in contrast of her hand roughly milking his pre-cum so she could use it against him. "Don't stop wanting me." she said, his mind had been reduced to nothing but a mass of information that didn't make sense. Nothing he felt for her make any sense, but it didn't need to. He would always love her this fiercely—he was certain of it.

"I'll always love you" he mumbled against her lips and pressed his forehead against hers, his feelings for her bubbled up inside him and overflowed—with one last pump and a grunt, he spurted powerfully into her hand. His chest sinking and rising deeply, his abdominal muscles pulsed with the force of his orgasm. When he opened his eyes, Lily was watching him. Her bright emerald eyes bright with awe and wonder.

With a hand slick with semen, Lily watched as the pleasure unraveled on James' features, taking in the vulnerability and intimacy of the moment. This was what she needed, what she craved. Lily never needed the sex with James so much as desired to feel close to him and to seek confirmation that they were not broken—that Snape hadn't opened up a rift between them.

However, it did not escape her that they had inevitably failed at talking out their problems but she settled for the feeling of content inside her. They would be other challenges just like there would be chances for them in the future but they were solid. They were mad about each other and that was enough—wasn't it? Love was enough.

"That was kind of hot." Lily breathed.

"Good, because it's my turn to watch."

TBC

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