Chapter Nineteen

They did this for the next week, Jamie would come and go from the house, often coming late for a story and once missing one altogether. When he came the next day, towards the end of his tour, just before dinner, Eddie addressed that with him.

"If you are going to insist on staying with Charlie, I need you to talk to Mary and tell her you aren't staying here," Eddie replied. "She's been through so much and she is very stressed and strained.

Jamie sighed, "I'll talk to her Daddy to daughter and try to explain things."

"You do that," Eddie replied. She knew she was in the wrong, there was no two ways about that, she had betrayed their vows, but he had his responsibility there too.

Jamie finished gathering his things waiting for Mary to wake up, so they could talk.

She got up a half hour later, happy to be cuddled up to her Daddy.

"How was your nap honey," he asked softly, rubbing her back.

"Good," she replied. "Still feel kind of yuck sometimes. Tired a stuff."

"Yeah I know you do but it'll get better and Mommy and I are here to help."

"Why haven't you been sleeping here?" Mary asked. "Because I call out a lot and need to get up."

"No, Mary, of course not. I'm sorry honey, actually I wanted to talk to you about that. Daddy is still really sad about losing Joe."

"Me too," Mary replied. "Is that why you don't want to stay by me? Cause Joe got dead and I didn't?"

"No that's not it at all I love you so much and I love Bella and Mommy too. Daddy just needs some time to think."

"So, you leave me?" Mary asked. "Daddy please don't do that. Please don't stay someplace else. Please..."

"I would never leave you Mary I love you so much. Daddy will be here to read to you and cuddle."

"But sleep somewhere else?" she pressed. "Because you are mad at me and Mommy and Bella."

"Daddy just needs a break for a little while okay?"

"No..." Mary began to cry. "No, I want you." She moved to hold onto him, so he couldn't let her go and that caused pain to shoot up her body.

"I'm here, honey. I'm right here, and Daddy will be here, "Jamie hugged her tight.

Eddie heard the crying and moved to the doorway, Jamie was holding Mary, but the look on his face said he didn't give in, not yet.

"I love you Mary," Jamie rocked her slowly and pecked the top of her head.

"Please don't go way again, Daddy," she begged. "Please please, I'll be so good. I won't yell at night, I promise."

Mary didn't understand, she was holding onto her Daddy, begging him and he didn't' hear. The crying got more and more intense and the begging even more desperate.

Jamie sighed kissing the top of her head and rocking her slowly. "Daddy loves you Mary I'll always be here."

Mary was quiet, thinking that Jamie had given in to her, so she got more upset when he laid her down. "Daddy will see you tomorrow Buttons"

"No Daddy, don't leave me like Joey left us. Please, Daddy, I love you."

Mary's little arms reaching out to him and the tears on her face broke his heart. He knew as angry as he was with Eddie, he could not spend another night out of this house.

"Daddy is staying right here I'm not going anywhere Mary. I love you so much," Jamie whispered hugging her.

Jamie's tears fell on Mary's hair. Eddie cried as she saw her baby girl being nestled in her Daddy's arms. She would have rushed her Daddy if she could have, but her little body wouldn't allow it yet.

Jamie held his girl tight, slowly rocking her until Mary finally fell asleep. Still, Jamie wouldn't put her down.

Eddie stepped into the room, "Jamie...I..."

Jamie shook his head at her, "I'm staying for Mary, but I'll sleep in a different room."

Eddie let it go, "Dinner's ready. I put a plate out for you if you want it. You should eat a bit at least. Mary can eat when she wakes up, before her bath."

Jamie reluctantly set Mary down tucking her in then kissed her head. "Love you buttons Daddy is here."

Jamie went to the kitchen and scooped Bella up in his arms and put her in the swing, before going to the bedroom to get his things ready to move.

"Where are you going?" Eddie asked softly. "Please don't leave, Jamie. You promised her. She won't understand…the girls won't understand."

"I'm not leaving,' Jamie replied. "I'm moving into Joey's room. I can't be near you right now, Eddie. Not like that."

Eddie breathed a sigh, a combination of relief and pain, he wasn't gone forever, just across the hall, and there she would still be able to reach through the wall he built. She knew she could with time.

"I'm glad you are," Eddie replied. "Staying for her. She's been through so much, she's suffering maybe more than all of us. She doesn't understand yet, what she's feeling. Her doctor mentioned the counseling again."

"If that will help her then we will. I'll do anything to help Mary," Jamie said kissing her head.

"There's a play therapy at the hospital, I was thinking of trying it," Eddie replied. "It's almost like she can't mourn because she doesn't understand."

"We can take her and try it, just let me know what days," Jamie agreed.

"I'll speak to her doctor tomorrow," Eddie replied.

Jamie nodded and sat down. "I was wrong to leave, I did more damage to her than the bullet wound did, but I'm concerned the tension between us will do that as well."

"Your right she feels it Jamie you can see she does," Eddie nodded.

She took a deep breath, "Perhaps I should leave instead. You comfort Mary so well, you are the one she looks to for that safety. I can move out with Bella and come here during the day to care for Mary..."

"No Eddie that isn't a good idea Mary needs you too. There are things you do so well with her that I don't."

"Like?" Eddie asked sitting down. "You are a good father, Jamie. She's your little girl...I'm making it hard on all of us. Maybe I need a break too, maybe...I..." The tears started to fall.

"Eddie don't cry you know about what Mary and Bella need better than me."

"I don't know anything anymore..." Eddie replied. "I can't believe what's happened to us, to this family. Our son is dead, I have made a grievous mistake...we are...we have lost each other. There's nothing left anymore Jamie. There's nothing left.

"There is a lot still left Eddie. What about the girls? We need to try and help each other grieve."

"Says the man who slept at his partner's house for almost a week," Eddie sighed. "I'll stay, Mary needs me...so I'll stay." Eddie got up and started to do the dishes as Jamie went to move the rest of his things.

She felt horrible inside, more alone than she had felt since Joey died. It had only been nine weeks, but it felt like an eternity since she last held her little baby boy in her arms. As she worked on the dishes, Eddie bit her lip as she felt the grief come up and choke her.

Jamie heard Eddie begin to sob. He wasn't sure if it was their loss or her indiscretion that was causing that. He figured it was a little bit of both, neither of them had been able to get past their son's loss yet, even if he tried to move on and get back in the scene with his brother and father, he wasn't past it either. Now, there was the added betrayal, not just by Eddie but by a man he thought of as a friend.

He wasn't to the point emotionally of realizing that Eddie likely felt the same betrayal as he did now when he went against her wishes and put their children in harm's way because of Danny.

He heard one of the lids to the pot fall on the floor, then Eddie cried out in pain.

Jamie hurried to see what had happened, this was one of the first meals Eddie cooked from scratch since Joey's death. He walked into the kitchen finding her sitting on the floor, Joey's little breakfast bowl in her hand. "It fell out…' she sobbed. "I was putting away the lid for the stew pot and it fell out…"

Jamie knelt down on the floor, "Give it to me. I'll put it with his other things until we decide what to keep and all. You don't have to make supper, we can order in again."

"No, it's time for me to start being your wife and Mary and Bella's mother again, and that's what a mother does," Eddie replied. "We'll fix this, we will fix it, and I know it."

Jamie just looked away, he didn't know if they would, he couldn't think past this moment. "If that's what you want to do," Jamie replied softly. "I'll just finish moving my things."

Dinner was a silent affair, they only engaged the children. They did bedtime together, giving both girls baths was a team effort as Mary had to keep her legs very straight and have them dried right away, Bella just liked to kick and splash. When the children were asleep, Jamie went to read in Joey's room and Eddie watched TV in the living room. They were not going to talk about this, it was pretty solid right now that things were not going to heal anytime soon.

Eddie fell asleep on the sofa, she couldn't go into the bedroom without Jamie being in bed beside her. The couch would do.