Hey guys! I'm so sorry it's been a month since I last updated, but I've been really busy. Anyway:
Jack knocked at Aster's door, wondering what could be in store for him.
If it's another surprise, I might just die, he thought happily.
When Aster came to the door, though, his expression told Jack that it wasn't the kind of surprise he'd had in mind, and his heart sank.
Aster stepped aside and wordlessly let Jack into the apartment. Jack obliged, a mounting sense of trepidation filling him.
"Aster," he said, "what's going on?"
Aster pointed at his open laptop screen.
Jack took a look, and his head exploded.
The photos. The photos Pitch had taken of him when he was just 18. They were all over Aster's laptop screen.
Jack felt his mouth fall open as he stared at pictures of himself naked, having sex and moaning in pleasure. "I can't believe it," he whispered.
Aster spoke for the first time. "Can't believe what?"
Jack turned to look at him, blinking back tears. "I thought I was done with this."
Aster took a deep, controlled breath. "Please explain what's happening here."
Jack swallowed.
"Who is the man who gave me this memory stick?" Aster continued. "Mr. Black? Is that his name? What's he doing with pictures like that of you on his memory stick?"
"I can explain," Jack whispered.
"Please do." Aster wasn't looking at him – he was looking at the carpet, the wall, the ceiling, anywhere but Jack.
Sitting down, Jack took a deep breath. "I've never told anyone this before."
Aster waited.
"When I was 17," Jack said, "I met Pitch Black. I'd just come out and I was struggling to deal with my sexuality, and the bullying at school. In fact, I was sitting at a bar feeling sorry for myself when I met him." Glancing up, Jack saw that Aster's face was unchanged. He continued.
"Pitch was handsome, intelligent, funny and – British. He made me laugh." Jack looked down at his feet. "I'd never felt this way about any of the girls I'd dated. The night we met, Pitch took me back to his place and we – had sex." He blushed bright red.
"It wasn't very smart of me to go to a complete stranger's house, in hindsight, but that's what happened. It wasn't my first time, but it was my first time with a man." Jack hesitated, and went on.
"We started seeing each other regularly, and every time we met, we'd have sex. At his place, in a public restroom, in a quiet alley, once even in a public park at midnight. We didn't even get to know each other – all we did was have sex. I knew nothing about him, but I developed strong feelings for him – in fact, I fell head over heels in love with him." Jack laughed. "And I was stupid enough to think he felt the same way about me.
"Looking back, I know he used me – used me as an unpaid prostitute, essentially, to fulfill his sexual needs. I was willing to do anything for him." Jack paused.
"Go on." Aster's voice was quiet.
"On my eighteenth birthday, Pitch invited me to his place and gave me a candlelit dinner. He took a few pictures of me – clothed, at first. He said he wanted to remember the occasion. Then, he surprised me by asking if I would take my clothes off."
Aster looked at Jack, and raised his eyebrows.
"He told me he just wanted to take them for when he was – alone, and needed some relief." Jack blushed again. "So I took off my clothes and let him take pictures of me, naked, in whatever position he asked me to.
"From then, whenever Pitch asked me to his place, he would ask me to take my clothes off and then he'd take pictures of me, naked, before we would have sex. He texted me and asked me to send him nudes, too, and I did. I was so, so stupid." Jack closed his eyes. "And then, of course, he asked me if he could take pictures of me while we had sex."
Aster was staring at the ground again.
"So I let him. He was always the one taking pictures, even while he was penetrating me. You'll notice you never see his face – he just loved having sex with me and taking pictures of only me. At first, it was just me and him having sex, but eventually he started using BDSM stuff on me and taking pictures of me in my agony. And I loved it. Every second.
"What I didn't realize, because I knew nothing about him, was that Pitch was the CEO of a company selling BDSM equipment. I didn't know that he was taking the photos he took of me and publishing them in gay magazines, BDSM websites, to promote his company's BDSM merchandise. I didn't realize until I caught him uploading the photos online.
"By then it was too late. He'd given me a nickname of sorts, too: Snowflake. Gay communities all over the US knew who I was and saw me at my most vulnerable, while I was having sex. Once, Pitch even placed a camera in a place he thought I wasn't looking and recorded us while we were having sex on a live feed – the video's right there." Jack gestured feebly at the computer screen.
"I didn't even get paid for any of this. He waited till I was 18 because he knew that before then, it'd be child pornography. When I found out, he tried to persuade me to go into modeling BDSM equipment as a profession. He told me we'd be together and that I'd make money to support my family. I would send my sister to college." Jack bit his lip, and a tear made its way down his cheek.
"I couldn't do it. Not after the way he'd used me. I told him to get out of my life. He begged me and threatened me until I think he just gave up. He left Burgess. I don't know where he went. I just know I didn't see him again, and I thought he'd leave me alone." Jack laughed bitterly. "Of course, he didn't."
There was silence.
"How could you do this?" Aster whispered.
Jack looked up. "Because I didn't know!" he responded. "How was I supposed to know Pitch was going to do this to me?"
"I can't believe it." Aster was staring at his lap. "I can't believe you didn't tell me something like this. You don't think this is something I'd like to know?"
Jack felt irritation beginning to rise up inside him. "Forgive me, Aster, but I believe this happened before I ever met you. I'm sorry that there are some things I'd like to keep to myself."
"Privacy is one thing. Having a porn star for a boyfriend is another."
Jack felt as if he'd been slapped in the face. "I can't believe you would say something like that to me!"
"I thought our relationship was about truth and honesty!"
"I thought our relationship was about respecting each other!" Jack's voice was unsteady now.
"Honestly, Jack, how can you pull that card now?" Aster exclaimed. "You didn't respect me by not telling me about this! Don't you think this is something I would've liked to share with you?"
"Well maybe I was embarrassed! Maybe I felt ashamed of what I'd done! You can't see that?"
"I thought you would've wanted to confide in me."
"And I thought you were different."
That brought Aster up short. He stared at Jack. "What're you saying?"
"I'm saying that, in light of a revelation like this, I would've thought you'd be a bit more sympathetic to me. I opened up to you. I told you something that was clearly very personal and something that I'm very ashamed of, something not even my family knows about. And you respond by judging me and condemning me. That's not who I thought you were."
Aster's green eyes burned. "If that's the case, you don't know me very well."
"Maybe you're right." Jack slid the ring off his finger. "Not well enough to get married, at any rate!"
"What're you doing?"
"What does it look like I'm doing?" Jack placed the ring on the nearest table and grabbed his stuff. "We're done, Aster. Thank you so very much for a nice few months. I'll see you around. Or, maybe not."
"Think carefully about what you're doing, Jack," Aster warned. "Don't do something you'll regret."
Jack headed for the door. "Goodbye, Aster."
"Jack!"
Jack wrenched open the front door and ran out of the apartment. He fled down the flights of stairs, bolted onto the street and didn't stop running till he reached the bus stop. It wasn't until he was seated in the back row, all alone in the deserted bus, that he allowed himself to cry.
He sobbed until he couldn't any longer, until he felt like his eyes had run dry. Just as he stopped, coincidentally, his cell phone began vibrating. He fished it out of his pocket, still wiping his eyes dry.
Of course it wasn't Aster. It was Pitch.
Jack hesitated, then answered.
"Hello, Jack." That clipped British accent. "I was wondering if you'd considered my offer again."
Jack paused. "Where are you?"
"The Grand Hotel. Are you coming?"
Jack hung up and sat back.
I was suffering from a mixture of writer's block and a very busy schedule. Given that combination, I'm starting to think of wrapping this story up pretty soon. I'm only going to get busier and anyway, I've somehow managed to get an idea for where I want this story to go before it ends. In the meantime, reviews please!