Sorry this chapter is so late.

Chapter 20: Amends

Kagome watched from her place by the fire as Inuyasha and Koga fought. Inuyasha as always had his Tessaiga in his hands, while the Goraishi decorated Koga's newly restored right hand.

But this was different from their past fights. This time neither really wanted to hurt the other. She could see them pulling blows, missing obvious openings as they blocked, countered, and parried among the trees. Even their insults weren't really insulting.

"Come on, you can't be that slow without those jewel shards?"

"You getting soft Pup? You used to hit harder."

"I don't use my full strength on broken-down wolves who look like they stuck their face in a fire."

"Still better looking than you."

Kagome sighed and shook her head as she checked on the ramen she was making to celebrate their victory. Well, best to be thankful for small blessings. Even if they still weren't quite friends, they at least were no longer enemies. That was it. Focus on the positive.

Truth be told, Kagome was still a bit shaken up from the tomb of the alpha. It wasn't everyday she faced her regrets, her fears, and her dark side one after the other. Though the boys seemed to be doing just fine as they fought/trained. In fact she thought if they had tails they'd be wagging. As she watched Inuyasha tackled Koga to the ground, finally 'winning'.

"You'll have to do better than that wolf." He smirked with one hand on Koga's shoulder to pin him to the ground and the other holding the Tessaiga to the wolf's neck. "If this were a real fight your head would be off by now."

"And you'd be breathing your last out of the gaping hole in your chest."

Inuyasha looked down, noticing the Goraishi's five claws pressed against his chest. "Keh, it'll take more than just your hand through my chest to kill me. Ask my bastard of a half-brother." He rolled off of Koga, putting the Tessaiga back in it's sheath before hopping up and offering the wolf a clawed hand.

The wolf prince sat up, taking Inuyasha's offered hand. "Half-brother?"

"We're not close or anything." He said as he pulled Koga up before holding his head high and crossing his arms. "He's never gotten over the fact that our dad liked me best and so gave me the Tessaiga while all he got was the western lands."

"What?" Koga blinked. "Are you...you're saying Sesshomaru is your half-brother?"

Inuyasha shrugged as Kagome called the two of them over for dinner. "Yeah, so?" He took his ramen and sat next to her.

Koga sat opposite them and thanked Kagome for his ramen. "I met him once. He's an arrogant prick who acts like he's got a stick up his ass."

Inuyasha threw his head back and laughed as he ate. "Yeah, he's always been like that."

Kagome smiled as the two boys laughed and joked at Sesshomaru's expense. Pretty soon they were competing to see who could do the best imitation of Inuyasha's elder brother. That had ended with Inuyasha walking around with his left arm hidden in his shirt, scowling at a rock and demanding it submit to the mighty Sesshomaru. Koga was holding his gut as he laughed on the ground and even Kagome had to admit his imitation was spot on, though she had refused to pretend to be Jaken.

Koga wiped his eyes as he sat up. "So, you really don't care that he has your father's lands?"

Inuyasha shook his head. "Why would I? What the hell would I do with them?" He snaked an arm around Kagome's waist as she blushed. "I have everything I need to be happy."

...

"Kagome?"

Kagome opened her eyes. To her surprise Inuyasha knelt next to her sleeping bag. She immediately sat up, looking around for danger.

"No, nothing's after us." The hanyou quickly assured her. "But I told the wolf there might be to get him out of the way." He moved to sit next to her. "You've been quiet tonight. In fact you've been quiet ever since we left the wolf burial grounds." His golden eyes looked into her brown ones. "So tell me what's wrong already before I have to sit you up in a tree again."

Kagome glared a little at him, then sighed. "No...you don't have to do that again. I'm just...still shook up about what I saw in that mirror room back in the tomb. My double, I think she was what I might have become if I continued acting like I was before...you know."

Inuyasha thought a bit, then put his hand on her shoulder like she did to him when he was upset, reminding her he was there for her. "You think you'd have become like that? A dark miko?"

"It's happened before." She reminded him. It was amazing how, after all that had happened, his touch still filled her stomach with butterflies. "If Tsubaki could turn out like that, then so could I." She looked away from him. "I still could one day."

"Stop it."

Inuyasha gently took her chin and made her face him. "Stop it. You are nothing like that witch. You and her have absolutely nothing in common."

"How do you know that?!" She shouted a little louder than she had meant to. "Sorry..."

Inuyasha saw that this was serious, and took her by her upper arms.

"Kagome...tell my why you think you might turn evil."

Kagome tried to turn away, but his earnest expression made it hard to ignore the question. Finally she had to give in.

"You don't think I do all of that homework, studying, and tests because I like it do you? In my time I don't get to make very many decisions. Someone is always telling me what to do. In some ways I guess I envied you. For most of your life you've been free. You could go wherever you wanted, do whatever you felt like. No one told you how to dress, how to act, what to eat, when to sleep."

"Are you kidding?!" The hanyou shouted before realizing he had also been louder than he'd meant to. "I would kill to live your life! To be accepted and have a family who loved me!"

Kagome sighed. "I know it doesn't excuse how I acted, but after I had the beads on you, that was the first time in my life I had power." She sniffed a little.

Inuyasha's head twisted slightly to the side. "I don't get it..."

"For once I was the one giving the orders. I could tell you what to do and you had to do it or I would hurt you." She explained, lowering her gaze. "I liked it. I liked it and kept doing it even though I knew it was wrong. That's why I'm worried I'll turn out like Tsubaki. If I could act like that before, how can I be sure I won't again?"

Inuyasha held her to his chest. "You won't because I know you won't. You said you believe in me right? That I'm not a monster? Well I believe in you. How can I not?"

Kagome eagerly returned the hug. Maybe she was being too hard on herself? Yes, she had made mistakes. But over the last horrible, hard month of almost losing Inuyasha forever, of suffering to find him, and building him back up after that slaver had torn him down, she had changed. She had learned to accept responsibility for her mistakes, to acknowledge them and to resolve to do better. To stop trying to control Inuyasha all of the time and sometimes let him take the lead.

"Thank you Inuyasha." She said, looking up into his eyes as tears filled her own. "Thank you for having faith in me. Thank you for putting up with me. Thank you for forgiving me. And thank you for helping me forgive myself."

Inuyasha kissed her forehead. "And thank you for having faith in me. Thank you for putting up with me. Thank you for forgiving me. And thank you for helping me forgive myself."

...

"Kagome!"

Kagome had only just stepped into Kaede's home when her arms were suddenly filled with a small furry bundle. "Hello Shippo." She smiled, placing the kitsune on her shoulders. She watched as Kichiro ran up to Koga along with Ayame and Ginta and Hakkaku, all crowding around him to see the Goraishi as Koga showed it off.

"I...I still can't believe it's real. Just like in the legends." Ayame held his wrist to look at the claws before hugging him. "I knew you could do it!"

"Can I try it?" The little wolf boy asked his uncle, only to pout when told it was a part of Koga now.

After a few minutes of everyone catching up Koga approached Sango, who was standing guard over the three wolves being held prisoner.

"They give you any trouble Slayer?" He asked her. She crossed her arms and glared at the three, instantly making them cringe and look at the floor.

"I've got it under control." She replied.

"You should have seen it." Shippo whispered to Kagome. "And I thought you were scary when you get mad."

Koga stared at the three bound wolves before summoning the Goraishi.

"I should kill the three of you for what you did."

Kagome moved to stop him before Ayame held out an arm to block her. Understanding, Kagome watched along with the others.

"But I will allow you to live if you acknowledge me as your alpha and swear on your father's honor never to betray me again." He added.

The three wolves looked at each other, then bowed and bared their necks to him. "I swear on my father's honor." They said in unison. Koga nodded at that.

"Untie them." He told Sango. The slayer looked to Kaede, who gave her a nod. With a final glare at the three prisoners she released them from their bonds.

"Come." The wolf prince ordered them. "Ayame, Ginta, Hakkaku, you too. We have a lot to talk about."

...

"So the wolves weren't always as savage as they are now?" Miroku asked as he helped prepare lunch.

"Looks like it." Kagome nodded while cutting vegetables. "I hope Koga and Ayame can work together to remind them that they were once something more."

Sango finished cleaning the rice and set it in the pot to boil. "Will you two be journeying with Koga back to his tribe to confront his Grandfather?"

"If he wants us too." Kagome sighed before adding the vegetables to the rice. She felt a tug on her skirt. Looking down she saw Kichiro staring up at her.

"Is Uncle Koga gonna be the alpha again?" The boy asked her. "Is Momma going to come back?"

Kagome bit her lip as she knelt before the little wolf. "You don't know where your mother is?"

"We got separated when we ran from Grandfather." He sniffed. "I've never been away from her before. Ayame has been nice to me, but I really miss her."

Kagome smiled and hugged the little boy. "I'm sure she's looking for you, and is going to be very happy when we bring you back to her." She picked him up and held him on her hip. "Do you want to help us make lunch?"

From across the room Inuyasha watched as Kagome showed the wolf boy how to stir the rice. 'She'll be a great Mom someday.' He thought.

"Hey, snap out if it!" Shippo demanded, holding his sword in front of him. "You promised!"

Inuyasha smirked as he followed the boy outside. "Just don't go crying to Kagome because you think I'm too rough."

...

After lunch was ready Kagome called out for Inuyasha and Shippo. The boy came rushing in, eagerly telling Kagome about how awesome he was with his new sword and how he could protect everyone from now on, no need for her to worry. Inuyasha nodded as he came in, giving Kagome a look that said he had indeed gone easy on the boy. As everyone settled down to eat Inuyasha said he would eat later, there was something important he had to take care of.

"What about...?" Kagome paused. No, she had promised herself she would stop trying to control him. "Alright, but be back soon. Your food will get cold."

"I'll be quick." He promised as he headed out. But instead of running for the forest, he doubled back to the shrine on the hill behind Kaede's home. Once there Inuyasha knelt in front of a grave marker. With some effort he was able to make out the characters that spelled out Kikyo thanks to Kaede and Kagome's teaching.

"Hello Kikyo." He said softly, bowing his head against the grass. "I'm sorry I didn't come sooner."

Inuyasha sat in silence for a moment.

"I didn't come when I heard you died the first time, after Naraku's deception. I guess...I didn't want to see your grave. Because that would mean you were really dead. Even as mad as I was at you then, I couldn't have handled that. You were the only person in my life besides my mother who treated me as if I were more than a monster. To think that I was totally alone again just hurt too much."

He let out a breath, ears going flat. "I admit, when that witch brought you back a part of me hoped we could be together again. That we could just pretend it had all been some horrible nightmare. When I next saw you I tried to pretend that nothing was different. That even though you were dead and ate souls, it didn't matter to me."

Inuyasha laughed lightly, shaking his head. "I've never been a good liar, least of all to myself."

He sat up, looking at the grave marker. "That time, when you tried to drag me to hell, I knew you were gone. The Kikyo I loved was lost to me forever, and what was left was a hate-filled undead creature that just happened to look like her. But even then I wanted you with me. I thought a hate-filled undead creature was all I deserved and still better than being alone."

Not smelling anyone nearby, Inuyasha let the tears in his eyes fall.

"But I was lying to myself even then. I lied about my feelings for Kagome, tried to push her away. I still blamed myself for what happened to you and thought I didn't deserve to be loved, only punished. That she refused to condemn me, that she treated me like a human and worthy of love, made me furious."

A few tears fell to the ground.

"It took finding out that you had given our jewel shards to Naraku that finally made me give up on you. In fact, part of me began to hate you. I thought everything we had ever shared was a lie. That you had never really loved me even when you were alive."

Inuyasha hung his head in shame. "I think I would have killed you if we had met again after that." He shut his eyes tightly. "But...Kagome has told me you didn't know about the breaking of the Tessiaga and the release of my youkai side. She says you were sorry. And then you sacrificed yourself, knowing Hell probably awaited you, to seal my youkai side away once again." He opened his eyes to stare at the ground.

"I'm sorry for doubting you. You made a lot of bad choices, but in the end you tried to make up for them. Because deep down you were still the real Kikyo after all. I forgive you, and I'll never forget you."

Inuyasha heard a sound behind him. He quickly wiped his eyes and cursed himself for allowing himself to be snuck up upon.

"What do you want?"

Sango knelt next to him, holding a bowl of rice. "Kagome said for me to bring you your lunch."

Inuyasha blushed at being seen in such a vulnerable state. "How long were you watching?"

"Long enough." She replied. "Inuyasha, there's something I need to say to you. Something I should have said a long time ago."

The hanyou blinked. "Okay..."

"Thank you." Sango began. "Thank you for your mercy. When we first met and I tried to kill you, you didn't hold it against me. Even when I stole your sword to give to Naraku in exchange for my brother's life you refused to condemn me. I just wanted you to know that I'm forever grateful to you for that. Thank you Inuyasha."

Inuyasha wasn't sure what to say to that. He had been so rarely praised for anything in his life.

"I...you're welcome...?" He finally said.

Sango smiled and helped him up, bowing to Kikyo's grave. "After lunch Miroku wants to thank you for something too."

So yes, this chapter was mostly filler of the group getting their various hang-ups out of the way before the battles to come. I think this story will end after two more chapters and an epilogue. I already have another story in mind that I can't wait to start.