A/N

Me: *currently in denial* SEE? I told you I'd get it up by July! I TOLD YOU!

Onilee: ...You'll have to excuse her, she's in her own world now.

Me: Not only that, but the next chapter is the last and will be up by next week! See?! IT'S ALREADY DONE! *holds up laptop with blank word document* And I finally have a boyfriend! One who is loving and supportive and is taking me to ComicCon next year! I also finally finished my novel and got the lead in my school play!

Onilee:...Oh bullshit. Readers, she hasn't got the next chapter done (Clearly), she has no boyfriend, she's not going to ComicCon, she hasn't looked at her novel in months, and her role in the play is decent at best. But, she was right when she said that the next chapter IS the last!

Me: EVERYTHING IS COMING UP ROSES! ENJOY~!

Hetalia Kids Chapter 20

"Rebeka...I don't think this is a good idea," Lexi whispered anxiously as the two tip-toed down the hallway of the Beilschmidt estate. "I don't think my parents will be really happy if they find out I had a part in this..."

"Hey, I didn't wuss out when it was my parents. I'm not letting you back out of this!" Rebeka argued, carefully opening the door to Italy and Germany's bedroom. It was one o' clock in the morning and the two were fast asleep. Italy was sprawled out on the bed, leaving Germany dangling on the edge, a position he had become accustomed to in their years together. "Whatever you do, don't get your fingers trapped while we're setting these up," Rebeka muttered, indicating the two giant boxes under her arms, rattling with each movement she made.

Lexi nodded, shaking visibly as the two entered the room. Rebeka handed the boxes to Lexi and instructed her to start setting them up while she tampered with the alarm clock. Lexi got on her knees and struggled with the tiny contraptions. She tried to wrok as fast as possible, wanting desperately to leave the room. Yet, she couldn't steady her shaking fingers or stop herself from jumping every time her parents rolled over, snored, or even breathed loudly.

After Rebeka was done rigging the clock with an airhorn, she looked over to check Lexi's progress and promptly rolled her eyes: The panicked girl hadn't even set up ten of the things. She quickly got down next to her and rapidly laid the extermination devices all around the bed. Not even ten minutes had passed before a sea of them had grown, the only island of refuge being the bed. Once Rebeka was satisfied with her work, she grabbed Lexi by the arm and dragged her out of the room.

"Ohgodohgodohgod!" Lexi murmured. "They'll know I did it! They'll definitely know!"

"No they won't! Just relax. They know you're not capable of doing something as ingenious is that! They'll probably blame Viktor."

"That's even worse!" Lexi wailed.

Rebeka halted, turned around and looked Lexi square in the eyes. "Oh, sweet Maria Theresa, calm down! It's a harmless prank. If they do start pointing fingers...I'll take the fall."

"R-Really?"

"Yes, really!" Rebeka hastily lied. "Now, I thought it would be a good time to check on Viktor's prank..." She lead Lexi into Viktor's bathroom and gestured to a small camcorder from a shelf, facing the wall next to the shower.

"You put a camera in my brother's bathroom?" Lexi blushed. "Rebeka that's dirty!"

"Relax…I positioned it so you won't see anything," Rebeka stated. "I was just curious as to what kind of songs Viktor sings in the shower..."

*FHREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!*

"AIIIE!" Italy leapt out of bed, the noise of the airhorn piercing serenity of the room. He tried to retreat from the horrible noise, but in his haste he slipped on one of the mousetraps and landed face first into the pile of them. Within an instant, each one that he touched popped to life and began clinging to any surface within reach, which just happened to be the poor Italian on the floor. All this had happened so fast that Italy barely had a second to wrap his mind around what on earth was happening.

As a result, he entered a characteristic full-blown panic mode. "LUDWIG! LUDWIG! HELP ME!"

Germany, who had also been roused by the new alarm they had mysteriously obtained, rushed into action. He ripped the airhorn from the alarm clock, silencing its continuous bleat and swung his feet over the bed to take care of Italy. As soon as he did so, two rather large mousetraps were triggered, and they immediately clamped down onto his toes. Germany only flinched at the pain.

"What in the-?!"

"AH! ONE'S IN MY CURL! GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT!" Italy shrieked, now writhing on the floor, which only succeeded in getting himself entangled further in the mess.

Germany, keeping his wits about him as usual, swiftly removed the mousetraps from his feet and climbed back on the bed. He leaned over the Italian's bedside and quickly pulled him back up as well.

Italy clung to Germany, shaking. "G-Get the one off the curl!" he blubbered as Germany began gingerly pulling off the rodent execution equipment.

"H-How are you so calm about this?" Italy questioned, turning red as Germany finally removed the one attached to his precious curl.

"I've been in worse situations than this." Germany answered. "I think the better question would be who the hell did this!"

"I have no idea!" Italy exclaimed. "It can't be the kids, they have no-!"

Before Italy could finish his sentence, they heard shouts coming from Viktor's room. "AHHHHH! WHO THE HELL FILMED THIS?!"

Germany scooped Italy off the bed and maneuvered around the sea of traps on the floor. Once they were safe, he put Italy down and the two rushed into Viktor's room to find Lexi already there. The two were staring in horror at Viktor's computer screen.

"~So she dances

In and out of the crowd like a glance

This romance is

From afar calling me silently~"

"Ah! You sing so beautifully, bambino!" Italy chimed, completely forgetting the most recent ordeal and getting a closer look at the video. Germany just stared incredulously at Viktor.

"...You sing Josh Groban in the shower?" Lexi asked Viktor, who was proceeding to bang his head repeatedly against his desk.

"No. One. Was. Supposed. To. Know!" Viktor lamented, finally letting his head rest. "When I find the person who did this, I am sending them to a special place in hell..."

Lexi shuddered.

"I'm not sure I want to do this anymore!" Lexi complained as she met Rebeka at her house later that day. "I mean, making Leon wear girls' clothes was fun and all, but Viktor is really mad!"

"Oh, c'mon, Lexi! We just have one more prank to pull! And we don't even have to do any work this time!"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

Rebeka giggled, her noteworthy grin weaving its way across her face. "I called in a favor from an old friend. Here, let me show you."

Rebeka lead Lexi into the piano room, where Zoltan was getting sucked into one of Beethoven's symphonies. Rebeka motioned for Lexi to keep quiet and pointed at the window. Lexi had to cover her mouth to keep from yelping.

There, looming in the window, was Russia. A creepy smile to rival Rebeka's adorned his face. He was staring straight into the room, unmoving; it didn't even seem as though he were breathing. In spite of the day's golden warmth from the sun, a light frost dusted the window.

Before Lexi could lose her cool, Rebeka pulled her out.

"H-Have you completely lost your mind?!" Lexi choked. "You got RUSSIA to STALK Zoltan?!"

"Oh please…my mom wouldn't let him do anything to harm her kids. Plus, it's only for a day, he promised not to do anything but follow and stare, and I paid him off!"

"I still think this is crossing a line!" Lexi cried. "I mean...we went from putting nacho cheese in a piano to hiring a stalker!"

"C'mon! Just watch Zoltan's reaction!" Rebeka squealed, peering back into the room. Lexi reluctantly followed suit and looked in. Zoltan had finally taken notice of Russia's presence and found himself frozen to the spot. Russia seemed motionless, not even visibly breathing as he stared down Zoltan. If anyone else had given this look, it would have seemed friendly. With Russia, it felt as though one were face-to-face with the world's most amiable tormentor.

A few more moments passed before Zoltan gathered his courage and made a bolt for the door. Rebeka and Lexi stepped out of the way as Zoltan ran down the corridor, too shocked to even scream.

"Poor thing," Rebeka tutted rather unsympathetically. "Russia will be on his tail all day." She allowed herself to snicker.

"Please tell me this is the last one!" Lexi implored.

"Lexi, I give you my word! No more pranks!" Rebeka emphatically proclaimed, raising her right hand up. Unbeknownst to Lexi, however, she had already slipped her left hand behind her back and crossed two fingers.

A/N

Onilee: Okay, you out of denial yet?

Me: *rocking back and forth in the corner, eyes twitching* I'm getting my blood drawn next week (Has a severe phobia of needles), I have a Physics test tomorrow, Hannibal is ruining my psyche, I'm exhausted because I haven't gotten a good night's rest in forever, and THIS FIC IS ENDING! *sobs* Let me go back to my happy place! I wasn't single and lonely there!

Onilee: Sorry, this is for your own good.

Me: ...Well, at least on the bright side, I broke 100 reviews last chapter. Hell, I broke 110. And this was a shit fanfic to begin with! I just got out of middle school when I started this! I cry when I read the first five chapters! And I STILL got 113 reviews! You know what, screw life. I'M PROUD OF MYSELF.

Onilee: See, reality isn't that bad! Now, let's get working on that Physics studying!

Me: *headdesk* ...Until next time guys~!