Be prepared for some sexy scenes.
And enjoy the last chapter!
.
A few months ago
April looked at the image in the mirror and took a deep breath. She grabbed a tissue and cleaned the corner of her eyes, fixing her make-up. About 13 hours ago her make-up looked perfect and so did her hair and her dress. Now, she felt like she looked like a mess. Actually, no…she was a mess inside and out. How did this happen? How did she get here? How did things escalated so quickly? How could all this make sense?
Well, the truth was it didn't make any sense…none of it did. She was supposed to be a married woman by now and she was supposed to be in her honeymoon. Instead, there she was: inside of a random bathroom, in a random hotel lobby, looking at her figure in the mirror, trying desperately not to freak out.
'The hell with it', she thought as she gave up retouching her make-up. She was trying to look nice for him, but after a 13 hour drive it wasn't easy to look her best. Then, she decided to take care of the mess that was her hair. She took off her veil a long time ago and it was forgotten somewhere in the back of Jackson's car. Now the up-do was falling off and the least she could do was free her hair. So, she placed her hands behind her head and started taking off the bobby pins that held the braid together. Slowly, she started freeing her hair from the beautiful up-do she had a few hours ago. When it was all down, she ran her fingers through it, to break the knots. Somehow she felt lighter.
She looked down at the wedding gown she was still wearing. A few hours ago it was perfectly ironed and it fitted her like a glove. Now it was full of little creases that wouldn't go away even if she kept pressing her hands against them all day. But what was she supposed to do? Get married naked? No. Plus, Jackson told her it would be ok, that she looked beautiful anyways. She believed in him. The truth was that she believed in him, because he was the only one she had. She needed to believe in him.
Yes, they took a 13 hour drive to another state to get married. 'How crazy was that?' she thought. She shook her head trying to push away her fears and doubts, because, after all, this was all she ever wanted. And even though she was about to get married to another man a few hours ago, the nervous feeling she had now couldn't even compare to what she felt back then.
She didn't remember much about the drive from Seattle to Lake Tahoe. All she remembered was that in one moment she was about to say 'I do' to one man, and the other she was running away with Jackson; one moment she was freaking out and begging him to stop the car, and in the other she was accepting his sudden proposal.
It was like the past 13 hours were a blur in her mind. She remembered Jackson talking on the phone with a person from a hotel somewhere here, he was setting everything together and arranging everything that needed to be done. She was so nervous the whole trip and her mind was working so fast, trying to process everything that she didn't even sleep.
13 hours later, here they were and everything was ready and all she needed to do was to step out the door and meet him. She just needed a moment to put herself together and allow herself to be happy. Yes, she deserved to be happy despite everything that happened. She knew she had a mess to fix back in Seattle and she couldn't even think about Matthew without feeling an anguishing guilt, but right now she was going to be happy. This was her moment to finally be happy. No more pride, no more anger, no more stubbornness, no more remorse…she was going to be happy, because she was about to marry her best friend.
Suddenly, she heard a knock on the bathroom door. "Miss? Are you ready?"
"Yes. I'll be out in a minute." She replied. Then, she placed her hands on her stomach and took a deep breath. The nerves were consuming her completely and she had to calm down before leaving. "You can do this." She said to herself as she looked one more time into the mirror. "God, help me do this."
Then, she passed her fingers through her hair one last time and smiled. She was happy. This was her moment. She deserved to be happy. She was finally getting her happy ending. And it was time to go live it.
When she stepped outside the hotel lobby, she felt the chilly breeze in her skin. Then, she walked to where the small ceremony was taking place. She couldn't even understand how Jackson pulled it out together with such little time, but he did it.
Lake Tahoe was one of the most beautiful places she had ever seen and it was where she was getting married. Jackson Avery was a man full of surprises, but she never took him for a romantic guy and this was the most romantic place she could ever think of.
They were getting married in a field, facing the mountains, surrounded by trees and wildflowers and all of those things respecting with nature. She had been planning her wedding since she was a little girl and he nailed it without even looking at her old scrapbooks or asking her for advice. It was like he had read her mind clearly. This was everything she ever wanted and even more. It was perfect.
After taking a few steps she stopped. There he was, standing in the distance, waiting for her in the same now wrinkled tuxedo he was wearing before. He was in the company of the minister who performing the ceremony.
When he noticed her, a huge smile appeared on his face. It was sunny outside, which made her figure look even brighter. She looked like an angel walking towards him. Her fiery red hair was now cascading down her shoulder in waves, she had her hands crossed against her waist and a beautiful divine aura around her.
As she was about to reach him, she noticed how his eyes had a different spark about them. She couldn't contain her happiness anymore and a huge grin appeared on her face. This was it…there was no running back now. They were getting married.
When she reached him, he took her hands and kissed them softly. April smiled and let out a shy "Hi."
He kissed her shaky hands and looked at her. She looked stunning even after a 13 hour drive. "You look beautiful."
"Thanks." She replied. "You look very handsome yourself."
"Are you ready?" The minister asked. They both nodded and faced him. "Jackson and April, before you knew love, you were friends, and it was from this seed of friendship that is now your destiny. Marriage is the clasping of hands, the blending of hearts, the union of two lives as one. Marriage is caring as much about the happiness of your partner as your own. It is looking outward in the same direction together. Marriage makes burdens lighter because you divide them. It makes joys more intense because you share them. It makes you stronger, so that you can be involved with life in ways you dare not risk alone. To make your relationship work will take love. This is the core of your marriage and why you are here today. It will take trust, to know in your hearts that you truly want the best for each other. It will take dedication, to stay open and honest with one another and to learn and grow together. It will take faith, to go forward together without knowing exactly what the future brings. And it will take commitment, to hold true to the journey you both promised today to share together. An intimate and secure relationship is not based on promises, but rather on trust, respect, faithfulness and the ability to forgive. A lasting marriage is based on all of these, bound together by love."
April could hear the minister speaking, but she couldn't focus in the words that were coming out of him mouth. Her heart kept beating hard against her chest and she had to control her breath or she would start hyperventilating soon. The fact that Jackson was holding her hand was enough to keep her feet grounded. If not, she doubted that her knees would let her be standing like that. But the truth was, despite all her nerves, she couldn't be happier. She was living a dream right now and it was hard to let it all sink in.
Jackson's eyes rested on April's figure for a moment. He knew she was nervous and the fact was he was too. However, he decided not to let it show. He had to be strong for her and for himself as well.
Then the minister turned to Jackson and asked if he would take April as his wife, to which he replied 'I do'. He turned to April and asked her the same thing. As April said her 'I do' Jackson thought about how two so simple words could sound so right.
"You may repeat after me." The minister said.
"I, Jackson, take you, April, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, from this day forward until death do us part."
When it was her time to say her vows, he noticed how she had tears in her eyes and how she was making an effort not to cry. Seeing his beautiful bride hold back the tears, made him feel emotional too.
Then the minister asked for the rings, which Jackson, who was holding them in his pocket, gave away. "The wedding ring is a symbol of eternity. It is an outward sign of an inward and spiritual bond which unites two hearts in endless love. And now, as a token of your love and of your deep desire to be forever united in heart and soul, you may place a ring on the finger of your bride."
"April, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and faithfulness to you." Jackson said, as he placed the band on April's finger.
Then the minister spoke again, this time turning to April. "By the same token, you may place a ring on the finger of your groom."
April took the ring in her hand and placed it around Jackson's finger. "I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and faithfulness to you." She said, with a smile spread across her face.
"May these rings be blessed as the symbol of this union." The minister went on. "Your lives are now joined in one unbroken circle. Wherever you go, may you always return to one another. May you find in each other the love for which all men and women yearn. May you grow in understanding and in compassion. May these rings, on your fingers, symbolize your love."
Jackson looked at April with a grin on his face and then the minister concluded. "April and Jackson, you have expressed your love to one another through the commitment and promises you have just made. It is with these in mind that I now pronounce you husband and wife." The minister turned to him and said. "Jackson, you may kiss your lovely bride."
Jackson took a couple steps and grabbed April by the waist. She wrapped her arms around his neck and closed her eyes. Then, his lips planted a gentle kiss on her lips. "I love you." He whispered. She smiled, cupped his face with her hands and kissed him again. This time, the kiss was deeper and warmer.
With the help of the minister they took a few photos, but they soon made their way to the bedroom.
It was a simple, but elegant suite that Jackson was able to book over the phone. He carried her inside the room and deposited her carefully on top of the bed. Then, he placed himself on top of her as they kissed deeply.
It was like they were exploring each other's tastes for the first time. They were still fully clothed, but Jackson somehow managed to take off his shoes and jacket in between kisses. He missed her taste and the sweet flavor of her lips. She missed feeling the weight of his body on top of hers and the way his strong arms surrounded her figure.
Jackson moved his lips to her neck, right where he knew she had her soft spot. He missed the captivating smell of her skin and the way she made small noises as his unshaved beard tickled her neck.
When she started unbuttoning his shirt she noticed how her hands were still a little shaky. Why was she nervous about this? He knew her body, he had seen it before and explored it like no other. There was no reason for her to be nervous.
Jackson got rid of his shirt and focused again on her lips. He missed kissing her lips so much that he used to stare at them when nobody was looking, thinking about how he wanted to taste them once again. But that was the past and now he was her husband, she was wife and he was going to be able to kiss her mouth anytime he wanted to and right now there was nothing he wanted more than to kiss her.
April missed feeling his body pressed against hers and she missed feeling his member grow against her. She missed the way she used to tease him until there was nothing left for him to do, but to strip down his pants and have his way with her. Now, she wanted nothing more but to feel her power over him again.
He ran his hand under her long gown and found his way to her thighs. There was way too much fabric separating them and he needed to feel her warm skin. She let out a small moan when his hand came too close to her center, when he touched her inner thigh. He noticed how she froze and closed her eyes. Then, he stopped what he was doing and looked straight at her. "April, is everything ok?"
"I…I'm ok." She said, opening up her eyes. She knew she needed to tell him what was crossing her mind. It was important that he knew. "Jackson, I need to tell you something."
He got worried for a second as he watched her climb off the bed. He got up too and waited for her to say something. "What is it?"
"I just need a minute." She said, trying to find the right words to tell him what she wanted to say. "Ok…well, remember San Francisco?"
"Yeah." He replied, wondering what that had anything to do with this.
"I was a virgin and then we slept together and you were my first one and we started sleeping together after that and…"
"April, you're rambling." He cut her off.
"Right, but do you remember how I wanted to be a virgin 'til I got married…even though that didn't happen, because you and I happened and…"
"April!" He almost shouted. "Tell me already."
"You're still the only one." She let out quickly.
Jackson nodded his head, trying to understand what she had just said. "What?"
"Matthew and I…we never did it."
"Oh! Wow!" Then it hit him and he felt his throat suddenly dry out. "So, you never slept with…"
"Never." She shook her head. "You're still the only one I ever had sex with."
"Wow…I…" He was taken by surprise with her confession. He never really thought about it, because he rather not think about the fact that she was probably sleeping with another man. But the truth was that he was glad to hear that and proud of it really. She had only been touched by him; only he knew how to give her pleasure; only his lips kissed her private parts; only he helped her reach cloud nine; only his name was moaned by her lips as she reached her climax.
"So, yeah…" She continued. "And I have no idea why I'm so nervous about this, but I am…I don't know why, but I am."
"You don't have to be nervous, baby."
"I'm feeling like a virgin about to lose her virginity." She confessed. "Even though I don't think I was this nervous when I actually lost mine."
"Yeah." He said, remembering how loose she was that night in San Francisco.
"I'm not a virgin and I know I sound ridiculous, but I haven't done it in such a long time that I might not even remember how to do it properly." He knew she was starting to ramble again and it reminded him how much he missed her ramblings too. "And it's silly…I know it's silly, because this isn't even my first time."
Jackson thought for a second about it. This was not her first time and her first time was far from being perfect, since it was rushed with all the adrenaline that was running through their excited bodies. He wanted to make it right for her for once in his life. He didn't want to rush things and they definitely didn't have to hide or meet secretly in an on-call room. No, those days were over. Now, they could actually enjoy making love to each other slowly. And this might not be her first time, but it was her first time as a married woman and his first time as a married man. So, he wanted to give her a night she could remember forever.
"April, calm down." He said, after listening to her hopeless ramblings. He stepped closer to her and quietly whispered into her ear. "Turn around."
"What?"
"Just turn around for me, please."
She turned around and he placed himself behind her. Then, he moved his hands to her waist and leaned in. "Close your eyes." She closed her eyes and he continued. "Now take a deep breath."
As she took a deep breath, she felt a chill down her spine. His lips were close to her neck and she could feel the warmth of his breath against her skin. Then, she felt his right hand travel to her neck, moving her hair to one of her shoulders. "I'm going to take off your dress, ok?" She heard him ask and simply nodded.
His hands traveled to her back and soon he started unzipping her dress. While his hand put the zipper down, his lips kissed the naked part of her neck. Then, he carefully helped her take off the top part of her dress, sliding it down her shoulders.
It was the first time in months April got naked in front of a person and it was intimidating to be in that position even though she knew Jackson had seen her naked before. She let him help her get undressed and when the dress reached her waist, she pushed it down with her own hands.
Jackson had to hold his breath when she stepped out of the dress and turned around to face him. He stared at her for a few seconds, without saying anything. Then, he had to place his hands on her waist. She was only wearing a pair of white panties and he had to touch her to know that this was real…that she was really standing in front of him and that this was not just one of the crazy dreams he used to have about her. "You're more beautiful than I remembered." He said, noticing how her cheeks turned red.
She placed her hands on his bare chest and moved them until they reached the top of his pants. She started by taking off his belt, then she unzipped his pants and finally she slid them down his legs. In the next moment, her lips caught his and his mouth opened to welcome her tongue.
Somehow he managed to lie her down on the bed again as they kissed. But soon his mouth moved from her lips to her skin.
April could feel his lips touching her skin and his hot breath on her neck. Then, he made his way down her collarbone. His hands, running up and down her legs, were rediscovering her body. She missed his touch and the way his fingers grabbed her flesh.
Jackson moved his lips along her collarbone and noticed how April's eyes were closed. He wanted to make her lose herself in pleasure and so he moved his mouth further down.
She had her eyes closed to focus on his touch and when he started kissing her breasts, she almost screamed. As he played with her nipple, she ran her fingers through his shaved head.
He heard her soft moans and decided to proceed with his sweet torture. So, he traveled to her flat stomach, leaving a trace of kisses as he made his way down. He only stopped on the edge of her underwear. Then, he looked up at her with playful eyes and she simply nodded. So, he started pushing her panties down her legs.
She lifted up her bum to allow him to take off her panties. But he wasn't finished just yet. No, he wanted more. So, he started planting sweet kisses all the way up her leg, while his hands were on her chest, caressing her breasts and she was about to explode with desire.
She placed her hands on the back of his head, making his come up again. She wanted to kiss lips and taste him once more. When their mouths touched, she placed her hands on the hem of his boxers and started pushing them down.
All the time they spent apart, he missed feeling her skin against his skin and how their bodies fitted together perfectly and how she opened up her legs to held them around his hips and how her back arched when she felt his member touch her center for a moment and how good her small moans sounded and how her nails scratched his skin when she was about to lose all her senses.
He planted some kisses down her neck, but she cupped his face and brought him up again. It was like she needed his lips to breathe and his taste to survive. "I need you, Jackson." She whispered. They spent so much time apart and their sexual tension and desire was so big, that they both needed each other at that point. So, he looked at her eyes as she looked back at his and, slowly, he found the way into her.
She gasped when she felt his hard member inside of her and he knew he had to take it easy, because she was so damn tight. "You don't know how much I missed this." She said, in a low tone. He missed it too.
He smiled and kissed her lips before starting to move inside of her. It reminded him how much he missed being inside of her and how he missed the fact that their bodies moved together in the most perfect rhythm.
He missed everything about her and he loved everything about her all at once.
.
The morning of the next day came around and April woke up with the first rays of light. It took her a few seconds to realize where she was, but then she felt Jackson's hands around her waist and all the memories from the past few hours filled her mind. She quickly lifted up her hand and there it was: her sparkly wedding ring. She was a married woman and, sleeping next to her, there was her husband. She looked to her side and simply gave herself the pleasure of watching him sleep. He looked so peaceful, even though he was probably too tired to even function. The past few hours were crazy for him too – he got up the day before and went to work just like any other ordinary day; then he attended her wedding; after that he drove for 13 hours straight, got married and still had the energy to spend the rest of the day and night making love to her.
Looking at him like that made her want to taste his lips again. She missed his lips more than she thought she did. So, she slowly moved and started planting soft kisses on his neck. It only took him a few seconds to open up his sleepy eyes and pull her closer.
"Good-morning, wife." He said, burying his nose in her hair to kiss her head.
"Good-morning, husband." She replied with a grin on her face. She loved the way those words sounded. "How was your sleep?"
"The best I had in years." He replied, taking her left hand and placing it close to his lips. "Yours?"
"The best I ever had." She said, without being able to hide her joy. He kissed her hand right where her wedding ring was. "Is it real?"
"It is." He replied, knowing exactly what she meant by that. "We're really married. It really happened."
"I feel like it's just a dream."
"It's not just a dream!" He said, thinking how she was sure in doubting it really happened, since it all seemed almost too crazy not to be a dream. "We're married."
"Oh my gosh!" She suddenly gasped. "We're married. We're married, Jackson. We actually got married and nobody knows we're here and people back in Seattle are probably wondering where the heck we are and my parents…gosh, my parents must be freaking out."
"Hey, April, look at me." He said, placing one hand on her face. "It's ok. It's ok…we love each other and that's all that matters."
"But…" He didn't even let her finish and quickly placed his lips on top of hers.
She calmed down and even let out a small giggle. It seemed like he always had the perfect way of easing her down. "You're right." She said. "Me and you is all that matters."
"I'm glad you get that now."
"And this feels really, really good."
"What?" He said, never letting go of her body. "Waking up, after a long night of wild sex, completely naked with your handsome husband by your side, cuddling with you?"
"Yes!" She laughed. "It feels really good to wake up like this."
"Well, then prepare yourself, because we can wake up like this every day for the rest of our lives."
"I like that." She said, resting her hands on his chest. "Although I'm considering never leaving this bed or this place…I don't think I want to go back to all the mess we left back home."
"Shh! Don't think about it." He kissed her forehead, wishing he could just take all her worries away. "Babe?"
"What?" She loved when he treated her like that.
"You know what I'm thinking about right now?" She simply nodded her head and he went on. "I'm thinking about how you said you wanted to be a virgin for the man you were going to marry and how you were so disappointed and pissed off for not being able to keep your promise to God."
"Yeah. What about it?"
"You kept your promise." He replied. "You were a virgin for the man you married."
Once April realized what he was saying, she couldn't help but smile. It was true. She ended up losing her virginity with the man she married. "Jackson…" She said, leaning in for a kiss.
He kissed her lips tenderly, glad he was able to make her smile. He knew how her faith was important to her.
Their lips separated and April rested her head against his chest, while he played with his fingers, making invisible circles in her skin. They stayed in silence for a moment, but Jackson knew she had something in her head. "What are you thinking about?"
"God." She replied.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah…there's this passage in 1st Corinthians that I read so many times I ended up memorizing it."
"What does it say?"
"If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and cannot fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing." Jackson looked at her and noticed how she had her eyes closed. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs…Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
"That's beautiful." He simply said.
"That's love…true love."
Jackson grabbed her waist a little closer to his body and pressed one kiss on her lips. "I love you." He said against her mouth, suddenly realizing now he had the love of his in his arms…the love he would never let go away ever again.
…
Present time
April stepped out of the shower and quickly put on her pajamas. Then, she headed to the nursery, where she left Jackson and the baby 15 minutes ago.
She opened the door and found him sitting in the dark on the rocking chair. "Is everything ok?"
"Yeah. I changed her diaper and she's now falling asleep." He replied, almost in a whisper. "Don't worry about anything, April."
"Do you mind if I go sit on the couch?"
"No, of course not." He said. "Go. I'll meet you there."
.
After a few minutes, Jackson walked into the room with a baby monitor in his hand. April, who was lying down on the couch with a blanket around her body, sat up and looked at him. "Is Ella asleep?"
"Ella's asleep." He said, sitting next to her, after putting the baby monitor in the coffee table in front of them.
"Good." April replied, snuggling with him. "Thank you for putting her to sleep tonight. I'm really tired."
"I know." Jackson put his arms around her body and kissed her temple. It's been a week since their little get way to the cabin and the fact that Jackson was working meant that April stayed home with the baby by herself all day. And today was not an easy day. Ella had stomachache and spent the day crying, while April tried desperately to calm her down with tummy massages. "You can rest now…close your eyes. It's ok."
"Thanks." She said, resting her head under his arm, close to his chest. "How was your day?"
"It wasn't too bad." He replied. This was something they did: talk about their day and how it went. "I had to perform an abdominoplasty on a woman who had quadruplets."
"Oh wow."
"Yeah. Can you imagine having quadruplets?"
"Don't even say that. Gosh!" She said, when an image of herself pregnant with quadruplets crossed her mind. "I don't think I could handle that. I mean…I want to have more children, but not right now. And we definitely need to be more careful with that."
"Right." He replied, knowing how they've been so careless concerning birth control. "Well, we didn't use any protection last weekend."
"I know, but I think I'm not pregnant." She said, now starting to freak about with that possibility. "I mean…I can't be, right?"
Jackson looked down at her and placed one hand under her chin. "Even if you are, we'll be alright. Ok? Don't freak out about that now."
"Oh God!" She said, quickly praying in her. She wasn't ready to have another baby right now. Then they fell into a comfortable silence for a couple of minutes, until April spoke again. "You know, sometimes I think about the wedding day. What if you never stood up? What if you never told me you loved me?"
"What if you had chosen Matthew?" He replied in a question.
April looked up at him and in a low tone said. "Life would have been so different that what it is right now."
"We wouldn't be together." He acknowledged. Looking at her, he could tell she had a sad expression on her face. Like the sudden thought of them not being together made her usually light eyes look sad. "Ella wouldn't be here."
"I know." She said, feeling an emptiness inside. She couldn't picture her life without her baby now. Ella became the center of everything and now it seemed like her life only made sense because of her daughter and her husband. "It hurts to think about it."
They fell into another silence. Jackson's mind kept running back to the day he stood up. It was supposed to be her wedding day. She was supposed to get married to another guy. He was supposed to give her his blessing and stick to it. They were supposed to be nothing more than friends. Images of her walking down the aisle haunted his thoughts. He remembered Matthew's face while he waited for April. He also remembered thinking how lucky that guy was and how a hint of jealously took over his whole entire body. And then he noticed people getting up from their sits and a soft music starting to play around the barn. He remembered how he turned around to find her at the entrance. She looked beautiful. It was like the dress she was wearing was made specifically to fit her figure. He remembered how she started walking to meet Matthew and how she looked directly at him for a second. She smiled. He smiled. He remembered how he was faking that smile. He had a knot on his throat through all the ceremony. Matthew and April were holding hands. He was not okay with any of that. He was not okay with their intimacy. It was not how it was supposed to go. He was supposed to be happy for her, because when you love someone and you see that they're better off without you, you let them go. He let her go. Then why did it hurt so much? Jackson remembered how he spent the day hearing Mark's voice inside his head. "Say it loud and go from there." And then he remembered how he figured that the truth was when you love someone, you don't let the person go. You fight. You fight hard for love. And he was ready to fight. She was about to say "I do" to another man and maybe he was too late, but he was going to fight.
As this flashback of memories ran through Jackson's head, he noticed how he never asked April what she felt about Matthew. She was getting married to him, but she couldn't love him. Or could she? "April…" He started, wondering if by now she had fallen asleep.
"Yeah?" She mumbled.
"I never asked you this, but hum…" He said, clearing his voice before continuing. "Did you love him?"
April opened up her eyes surprised by his question. They never really talked about Matthew or her feelings for him. His question was totally random in that moment. It had been a while since she thought about Matthew or even remembered his existence. Not that he didn't matter to her. It was just that her life it was so chaotic right now, with the baby, that she just lived in the present. So, April adjusted her position and sat straight. "Matthew?" She asked, already knowing he meant him. She didn't know exactly what to reply, but she thought there was no need to lie. It was for the best to give him a straight and honest question. "Hum…I did…in a way I did."
"Oh…" He simply said, somehow disappointed.
"But the way I loved him…" She quickly continued, noticing the frown that appeared in his face. "…it was never the way I loved you." She turned to him and placed one hand on his cheek. "I chose you, because I love you…because I've always loved you."
"If you loved me, why did you got engaged to him?"
"Because…well…" She replied, trying to make an argument that would not hurt his feelings. "Because we were a mess, then you started seeing somebody else and I started having feelings for him, because…he was kind, and charming, and he cared about me and treated me right."
"Right." Turning his eyes to the floor.
"He gave me the attention and the love I didn't get from you." She confessed. "And then I told you I wanted you and you didn't want me back."
"Well, in my defense you were kind of treating me like a toy." He said, almost aggressively.
"Why do you say that?"
"Because…well, first I felt like you were only using me for sex."
"I was not!" She defended herself, but he quickly cut her off.
"Then, you seemed to be too freaking happy about the fact that you didn't have to marry me." He continued, remembering the day they had the pregnancy scare. "You said we were free and that was…I don't even know how to say it, but it was hard to hear. It was like you were happy that you were free from me."
"I didn't mean it that that way and you know it." She replied. "See, this has always been our problem: lack of communication!"
"Then you were with him and yet you wanted me." He said, ignoring her. "I felt like you only wanted me because you were freaking out with the whole situation."
"What situation?"
"You only wanted me because you couldn't have me…because you were getting married to this guy you barely knew and because I almost died that day. You were freaking out!"
"I wasn't…I…" She said, before pulling up the blanket tighter to her body and crossing her arms around her chest. "I'm feeling so attacked right now, I can't even…"
"It's the truth." He went on. "You walked into me and said you wanted me. A bus exploded and suddenly you want me? You can't blame for being confused when not so long ago you got engaged. So…yeah… "
"That's so unfair!" She said, not looking at him.
"You were freaking out. Admit it!"
April took a deep breath and looked at him. "Ok, you want to know the truth? Maybe I was…Maybe I was freaking out. Matthew proposed to me and I didn't see it coming. It was all too sudden and you watched the whole scene. Jackson, you just stood there watching this guy propose to me and you didn't even say a thing. And you were smiling to me, dammit. And it annoyed me the fact that you didn't care…I felt like you had moved on with your life." She said, making him think about that moment too and how he had to fake that smile, when the truth was he was feeling like a knife had just stabbed him in the chest. "What was I supposed to do? All I could do was try to move on too. And then the freaking bus exploded and you almost died and yes I freaked out about that too. But can you blame me? I almost watched you die and I even ran to the damn bus to get you seconds before it exploded. If it wasn't for Matthew, who grabbed me, I probably wouldn't be here today."
"You ran to the bus?" He asked, hearing this for the first time.
"I did. For you I did. I realized I loved you." She continued, without taking a second to breathe. She was finally letting it all out. "I loved you so much that it hurt to think that you could've died in that moment. That's why I attacked…why I hit you. I was so mad at you for almost dying."
"April, I didn't know…"
"I was rejected by you twice." She cut him off. "When you broke up with me and when I told you I wanted you, but you didn't want me back. There was nothing left for me to do but to move on with my life. That's why I stayed with Matthew, that's why planned the wedding…that's why I chose to get married to him."
Jackson looked at her and felt nothing but guilt consume him. From her perspective he understood the reason behind her actions. He was selfish and so, so stupid. "I wasn't treating you like a toy. That was never my intention. You're talking like it was all my fault, when it wasn't. And the truth is…you started it."
"I started it?"
"Yeah."
"How?"
"You broke up with me!" She said, in a high pitched tone.
"I don't think…"
"Even though I'm not completely sure if you really broke up with me, because we never officially dated, so…" She said again, ignoring his excuses. "Were we even dating?" She was about to say something when she felt Jackson's lips on hers. He kissed her, cupping her face with both of his hands. "Don't do that…Don't kiss me when I'm in the middle of a sentence." She said, breaking off the kiss, but he pressed his lips again against hers and she didn't fight it anymore.
"Can you stop, please?" He said a minute later, when their lips parted. "If you want to know, breaking up with you was the biggest mistake of my life. And I'm glad I could make up for that mistake, otherwise…" He took a deep breath. "…life would've been miserable."
April looked at him as he placed a lock of her hair behind her ear.
"I'm sorry, ok?" He said, truly regretted. "I'm so sorry."
"I'm sorry too." She whispered. Her sudden attack of anger went way. So, she rested her head on his shoulder again. "Can you imagine how it would have been if we still had to work together?"
"If I never stood up?" He asked and April nodded her head. "It would suck! I mean it was hard enough seeing you with Matthew or even wearing his engagement ring…I can't even think about what it would be like for me to know you were actually his wife."
April thought for a second about how now it seemed weird to think she could've been somebody else's wife. And then she realized that if she was somebody else's wife, he would belong to someone else too. "Would you still be with Stephanie?" She asked, curious to know his answer. In her eyes, their relationship was never serious and yet he dated her for months.
"No, I don't think so." Jackson replied right away. "She was a nice girl, but I don't know…probably not!"
"But did you have feelings for her?"
"I guess so." He answered, feeling a little too uncomfortable to talk about this with her. "But the truth is I only started seeing her to forget you."
"I can't even tell you what I felt when you told me you were sleeping with her." She said, remembering the moment he approached her to tell her he had moved on. She remembered how sick she felt, how disgusted by him she felt, how she just wanted to throw up in the face of his actions and how, at the same time, she just wanted to wrap her arms around his neck and kiss his lips like there was no tomorrow.
"I'm sorry." He meant it. He was so sorry, but he was only a human and he let the flesh speak louder. He knew that sleeping with Stephanie wasn't right, but he needed to forget April and in Stephanie he found a great escape. She offered herself to him and he simply didn't have the strength to say no.
"I'm so stupid!" She said, hiding her face with her hands. "I basically pushed you to her. Oh my gosh…How stupid! And I had feelings for you…I had feelings for you and yet I pushed you to another woman."
"April, c'mon." He said, kissing her head quickly. "Why are we talking about this now?"
"Because…" She replied, looking at him. "… We've been through so much that looking back is easy to see the mistakes we made and how stubborn we were and how we tend to complicate things."
"Yeah." He simply said, knowing she was right. They still had a long way to go and they definitely needed to learn from their mistakes and learn how to communicate with each other in a better way.
"Life would have been so much easier if we didn't stop seeing each other."
"I know!" He replied, looking back at all the times he lied awake in his bed thinking about her; or the many times he found himself staring from the corner of his eyes at her; or about the times he wished he could've just called her to talk after the day was over, but couldn't; or about the months he wasted trying to deny his own feelings for her. "I feel like we wasted so much time when we could have been together."
"I know." April sighed, picturing for a moment where they would've been now if they didn't break up in the first place. It all started with sex and she wondered if what they had was only sex. Maybe it was, in the beginning. Maybe it was, because she never thought about him in a romantic way. Maybe it was, because she was finding out who she was from a new different perspective. But at the same time, it couldn't be just sex, because one does not simply have sex with her best friend. "It wasn't just sex, right?"
"What we had?" He asked.
"Yeah. I mean when we started doing it I know that maybe it was just sex, but then…"
"It wasn't just sex." Jackson thought for a moment about it. In the beginning, when April kissed him and told him she wanted to do it, he was so surprised that he didn't have time to really think about it or evaluate the situation. But the truth was he was glad she kissed him, because if she never did, then he wouldn't have realized he had deeper feelings for her best friend. Things eventually escalated to something else and he found himself caught in a feeling he had never had before. And maybe it was love all along. It was a different kind of love than what he now had for her, but it was love. He was her first and she discovered her sexuality with him and even though it all started with sex, she was never just sex to him.
"And now look at us!" She said, cuddling next to him. She placed one hand on his chest, her head was on his shoulder and her legs were on his lap as she curled against his body like a ball. He put a protective arm around her shoulders and the other he let it rest on her thigh.
"Married, with a kid." He replied, comfortable with that thought. "We're a family."
"Yeah, hum…about that. I've been thinking and I'm ready now." April said, lifting up her head to face him. "I'm ready to officially be an Avery."
"What do you mean?" She noticed how he had a puzzled look on his face.
"I want to be an Avery…change my name to April Avery." She confessed, with a shy smile. "But I mean, only if you're ok with it!"
"April, of course I'm ok with it. I love it." He said, feeling way too excited about this. "But why?"
"Because, it feels right. We're a family and families share last names and Ella has your last name and our future babies will too, so I think it is right for me to be an Avery too."
"April Avery?"
"April Avery." She replied, with a smile.
"I love how that sounds." He took her face in his hand and placed a kiss on her lips, to which she replied with vigor. She moved her body and was now fully on top of him, facing him and with her legs spread open around his hips.
"So do I!" She said. "We're a family. We're the Averys."
Jackson didn't understand why something as simple as that made him feel so happy. But he was happy and he couldn't deny it. He wasn't alone in this world. He had a family now. A little family he loved so much.
They kissed for a while, but then Jackson pulled away and rested his forehead on hers. "Why did you choose me?" He asked, in a whisper, going back to where this conversation started.
April moved her head and looked into his eyes. Then, she smiled and placed one hand on his cheek. "I don't know…there was just something about you."
"Oh really! Just something about me?" He asked, with a playful tone.
"Just something about you!"
He smiled back at her as she rested her forehead on his again. "Well, I'm glad there was just something about me!"
"Why did you choose me?" She asked, placing her hands on his shoulders.
"Because…" He replied, hugging her waist with his hands, pulling her closer. "…you are and will always be the one."
"Wow…'the one'." She said. She heard him call her 'the one' before, but it never stopped to amaze her how two simple words made her feel so good. Especially considering they were coming out of Jackson Avery's mouth. "I remember you saying that the concept of soul mates was stupid!"
"I was wrong… I found my soul mate. I found the one… you're the one." He acknowledged. "And I'll say it over and over again." He said, planting little butterfly kisses down her neck. "You're the one. April Kepner, you're the one…you're the one…you're the one."
"I'm the one?" She said, giggling.
"You the one!"
"Even though to me you're just the guy I banged in the bathroom because I flipped out over my boards." She teased him, remembering how it all started.
"Really?" He stopped kissing her and noticed how she was biting her lower lip. "I'm just a guy you banged?"
"Yeah!" She said, with a naughty smile.
"Then how the hell did we end up here?" He played along, knowing she was just mocking him with his own words.
"Oh, honey…I have no idea!" She said, before craving her mouth on his. "I love you." She mumbled against his lips.
"I love you too."
Then, she rested her head against his forehead once again and held her hands around his neck. "If I'm the one to you, then…you're home to me."
"Home?"
"Home." She said, with a serious tone. "Home, because every time I look into your eyes, I lose myself over and over again; because every time I feel your arms around my body, I feel protected and I have no fears; because every time I hear your voice, my heart beats faster; because some time ago I honestly thought I was going to end up alone, that I would not be able to find someone who loved me. I thought I was going to be alone and lonely for the rest of my life and I waited for so long to find true love. Not just any kind of love, but the kind of extraordinary love we have. You changed me, Jackson. You changed my life…forever. And even when life gets tough and everything seems to be a mess, I know I'll be alright, because I have you. And together we'll make it through. And I was lost for a while, but I eventually made my way back home…to where I belong. Jackson, you're my home because I'm right where I belong. You are where I belong. I belong to you."
Jackson didn't have any words left to say. So, he simply cupped her face and kissed her lips tenderly. April kissed him back lovingly, as she wrapped her arms tighter around him. She meant every word she said. She was home. He was her home. And they belonged together…forever.
…
AN
Hey guys,
This is the last chapter of 'Something about you'. What did you think of it? Tell me and review.
I can't even begin to say how much I enjoyed writing this story. This was my first (hopefully not the last) Japril fic and I loved it. But I couldn't have done it without you guys. You inspired me in every way, with you reviews, PMs, follows and favs. Some of your words (the ones you used to review) I'm going to keep in my heart forever. Thank you so, so, so much! Thank you for reading, for reviewing, for supporting the story and for loving it too.
Now, about the chapter. This was the last one. Review, please, and tell me what you thought of it.
I received a PM, which inspired me to write something about the actual wedding we didn't get to see on TV. Now, you some of the vows and things the minister said were taken off the internet. Anyways, I hope they sounded right to you (I'm not a minister, so I don't know how to perform a ceremony. That's why I needed a little help from the internet with that).
Ok, now that this fic is done I'm going to start thinking about a new one. I found out that I love writing while writing this fic and I really want to keep doing it as a hobby. The next fic is probably gonna be AU. Would you read my next fic? Do you like the idea of it being AU? You can read about the story I'm thinking about in chap. 13.
Anyways, I just want to thank you for you reviews and everything else.
I hope you can review this last chapter and I hope you liked it too.
Thanks, guys.
With love, Annie.
PS: English is not my 1st language!
PS2: you can find me on tumblr: aprilkepner-greys and twitter: i_annie2