Disclaimers: i do not own Naruto. not even in the month's time that i am gone, off in NaNoWriMo land will Naruto be mine. T_T TEARS OF SHAME. TEARS OF SADNESS. TEARS OF LOVE.

My Ramblings: well, i'll see you guys in a month! if you have a NaNoWriMo account or if you are creating one (I HIGHLY SUGGEST YOU DO) then please friend me. it'll be aweshum and motivating that you guys would be participating in this as well. (I understand if you have fanfictions to keep up with. But you know what? you should just make it your goal to write 50,000 words for your fanfiction! And if you finish your fanfic before then, thennn start a second one you've been thinking about for awhile!)

btw, Akumu means Nightmare. you'll need to know once you read a little further BELOOW.

okay. done with my NaNoWriMo ramblings. NOW YOU ENJOYYY CHAPTER TWENTY (i totally put TWELVE first *facepalm*) OF CLAY HEARTS. =]

Clay Hearts

Chapter Twenty:

If Home is Where the Heart Is

The sky was pink with shades of orange all becoming darker as the sun sunk lower in the horizon. Many people were inside now, getting ready for bed or even the next day. Some people—shinobi—were out on missions. And a few people were doing what Naruto was doing now. Watching the sun slowly descend and the sky become dark and just taking it all in.

Most people were thinking happy thoughts. The blonde boy was as well… but they always led to unhappy things.

Naruto Uzumaki was sitting on top of a high rooftop, watching the sky, watching the world. With his jacket unzipped, showing his simple black t-shirt, he murmured softly the names of two people he was most concerned about. "Sasuke," was the first name he spoke (really, in no true order), "Sakura," he said the other with a sigh.

Running a hand through his disheveled hair, he fidgeted with the necklace, looking down aimlessly, that Tsunade-sama had given to him from what seems like so long ago—around the time when he first met the woman.

So many things change and all too quickly.

Naruto squeezed his fists until they were white and then looked up at the sky that was still pink, but hints of dark blue was apparent. The one-fourth moon glared down at him and seemed to remind him that he himself was missing three other parts. Kakashi-sensei. Sakura. Sasuke.

He jumped up and glowered right back at the moon, "I'm gonna bet that I'll see them all by the time that you're full!" His smile would be contagious if anyone else was around, "Believe it!" he yelled out into the Village Hidden in the Leaves.

Jumping down from the roof, Naruto's smile fell, "I wish." His eyes met the sky once more, looking for something. "If only wishing stars were easier to find." Stupid moon. It'll have itself back together before I have myself—my family—back together. It just wasn't fair.

-x-x-x-

"Thank God," Kakashi mumbled, shaking his silver-haired head. That all could have been much worse than it was. But now the shinobi had to get back to Konoha with an unconscious Hyo. However, he hoped, that this act—whenever Hyo was interviewed with Ibiki—would at least put one piece together on this mystery of the Hokage's state. A piece on the puzzle of Sakura's innocence.

I suppose I need to wrap his body up in something to make it easier to take him back, Hatake thought. He walked over with slow, lazy strides and knelt down to look at Hyo's face. He hesitated for a moment, but then continued with what he was too curious not to do. Kakashi's hands reached for the Root's mask, taking it off.

The Copy Nin's eyes widened for a moment in recognizance, but soon turned like huge saucers as Hyo's own eyes flashed open and the tanto that was lying in his hand stabbed into Kakashi Hatake's ribcage, going past the bones themselves and into organs of important matter. Scraping the heart just enough to kill and the blade was through his left lung.

Kakashi began to cough; blood splattering onto Hyo's wickedly smiling face. "Y-You," he managed.

"Didn't expect that one… now did you, Hatake?" he said as he got up, shoving Kakashi out of his way.

The man bleeding on the ground flinched and shivered as his hitai-ate got pushed up his forehead more.

"I suppose that it's over for you," he grinned maliciously. As if a sudden thought came to him he froze, then smiled even more viscously and tore off Kakashi's mask. "Now you'll die 'naked', Hatake." Hyo chuckled.

Kakashi simply met his eyes and glared. Hyo merely laughed at Kakashi's—what he supposed—last attempt to do any harm to the man and threw a shuriken that stuck deep in the Copy Nin's arm. What Hyo didn't know was that Kakashi's left eye began to whirl and turn red.

Mangekyo Sharingan: Akumu.

When Hyo met Kakashi's gaze once more, he screamed as he was pulled into Kakashi's Sharingan. Now this was his final move.

"What's the point?" literally spat Hyo as he yelled in pain in his tormented state. "You're only going to frigging die!"

Kakashi Hatake managed to murmur a few words, "I may die, but I'll live. You may live, but you'll always be dead; living in hell." Blood was becoming more and more than a puddle or two. It began to soak Kakashi's clothes as he hacked up more of the red. But not only was blood coming from wounds and his mouth, but from his left eye that was made up of crimson and a complex design; his Sharingan eye. Thank you, Obito.

Both men, Kakashi and Hyo, screamed at the same time as Hyo was finally "released" from the jutsu, lying flat on the ground and as Kakashi took his final breathes. Thank you everyone, he thought Thank you Naruto for what you've taught me, thank you Sakura for being you, thank you even Sasuke for being on my team. The smallest grins marked his unmasked lips; You were my students, my comrades, my friends. Now, Naruto… prove Sakura's innocent and haul Sasuke's butt back to Konoha.

Then Kakashi Hatake took his last breath and died.

-x-x-x-

Shino Aburame walked back to the campsite casually, wood being carried by his bugs as he whistled an equally casual tune quietly. For some reason, he was in a good mood today. Perhaps it was because the mission was just about over and he could return back home. It was a strange feeling—missing home, that is. Homesick. He hadn't felt that way in awhile.

When he reached the camp, he saw that Kakashi-san was not in sight and he figured for Hyo to be out on patrol by now. However, if Kakashi wasn't here now… wouldn't he be out on patrol. Suddenly, his bugs began to act bizarre, flying around in weird patterns. Then, he noticed what they were saying, what they noticed. Blood.

He ran, following his insects, to wherever this spilled blood could be. He nearly gasped when he saw what was before him; he was frozen. "K-Kakashi…" he whispered, "Kakashi-sensei!" Shino yelled now. Under his glasses, a tear found its way down his cheek. The boy cursed quickly and quietly and then repeatedly.

But then he remembered that he should probably tell the other shinobi. "Hyo," he shouted. "Hyo," he said again, louder. He was about to say the Hyo's name again when he saw said man lying almost dead on the ground, covered in blood as well. "N-No," he uncharacteristically stuttered, "They're both…"

Before he could say it, his bugs told him that Hyo still had life in him, but Kakashi's situation… still remained the same. Shino rushed over to Hyo first—since said man was in front of him—and saw that he was passed out, but still bleeding. However, before he tended to the wounds, he hurried to Kakashi (who he cared about more anyhow).

Shino's face was stoic, but he had to push his glasses up onto his forehead because tears were falling freely down. The boy's tears stopped when he saw the tanto lodged into Kakashi's chest. It was Hyo's—he glanced over at the other man who was weaponless—Shino was sure of it.

Suddenly, such an anger boiled up inside of Aburame, ready to kill Hyo officially here and now. "Hyo!" he shouted as he began to run over to the man.

"It's… over… now," he said, beginning to regain consciousness.

Shino kicked the man hard in the head to make him unconscious again, but then he soon calmed himself thanks to his bugs—he knew that he had to return the man to Konohagakure so that they could interview him. "No. It's not going to be over for a long time." His clenched fists began to turn white as he stared at Hyo, then Kakashi. "There will be revenge for Kakashi," and without thinking, he said as well, "and for Sakura."

-x-x-x-

A little bit before bug boy had returned to find the bloody situation, a certain plant man was watching the complete fight and was talking to himself.

"I knew it," spoke the black side of Zetsu. His body was half in the ground as his white side's eye saddened a bit. "Was that fair?" He felt his other's shoulder shrug.

"We must report this back to Pein," he said. "Hn," the white half merely commented.

And so went the only witness to Kakashi Hatake's murder sunk into the ground to go back to the Akatsuki Base. Before Zetsu's head sunk completely underground, he said, "Hatake's correct. Hell is to begin—but not just for his murderer."

-x-x-x-

All the way back in Konohagakure, Naruto grasped his chest, feeling a deep and unknown pain. He feared that something horrible happened. Naruto was a man that trusted his instincts… and unfortunately, they were correct. Something horrible—absolutely terrible—happened.

-x-x-x-

"Finally!" I said almost cheerfully. It had only been a few days, perhaps almost a week, since Deidara and I had returned to the Base. And already I was bored. The Akatsuki didn't seem to get hurt too much and especially ever since Zetsu got back from wherever things had been strange. We were told not to go outside the Base for a time until he told us we could.

So now, when Pein's called for a meeting, I was excited because I believed that he was going to either tell me why we couldn't go too far or give me a new mission "finally."

When I knocked on his office door, I heard him say, "Come in," and then I walked in.

I shut the door behind me as I asked, "Where's Deidara?" I sort of hoped he was here because if he was then, erm, kind of guarantees me a mission. Yeah. …Maybe.

"He was not called to this meeting," Pein said as he turned to face me, his Rinnegan eyes as piercing as ever.

As piercing as his piercings. Hah! Puns.

…Shut up. "Oh? Uhm, then what's this about?"

Pein's eyes almost showed a hint of sadness when he spoke (I only notice this because I was staring at them), "I don't want to dawdle with the subject, however I believe that there is no easy way to come to this."

"…What's this about?" I questioned again.

"Sakura, Zetsu had found your former sensei close to the border of Fire—"

My eyes lit up as a smile made its way to my lips, Kakashi-sensei? I didn't think about anything bad—that I'm Akatsuki and Kakashi is from Konoha and we're enemies. I just thought of things happy—like seeing Kakashi again. "Where—" I began to ask, cut off from Pein's constant, still speaking.

"—dead."

My world froze. It felt like someone had slapped me across the face with my and Tsunade's strength combined. I'm sure I stumbled back even. My green eyes became as large as the planet and my breath caught in my throat as I stumbled out a strained, "D-Dead?" But you don't mean…

"Yes." His eyes met mine, which were filling with tears. "I apologize for your loss." He became truly human for a moment and looked at his hands which were rubbing uncertainly almost at each other. "Now you know some Pain, as well." He whispered the last line, "Like me." But then his head snapped up and he returned to the stone "god" he was. "You should give up your foolish hopes of returning home, Haruno. You belong here now." His eyes filled with fervor met mine, "Your sensei and that Hokage was one of the few that you had left and the Jinchuuriki is going to be nonexistent as soon as we catch your blonde friend. Realize where your home is now."

"No," I said, shaking my head that wore eyes of disbelief. "No!" I screamed at him, then ran out.

"Sakura Haruno!" The Leader of the Akatsuki shouted as I ran out of his office, out of the Akatsuki Base, towards a place that only a few could reach. I began to scream when I got there, tears rushing down my face as I could barely breathe with my sobs. It got some of my emotions out, but I felt something missing, an ache, in my heart.

-x-x-x-

"Ungh," Naruto groaned and cursed as his hand grasped the area over his heart again. "What the heck is that?" What Naruto didn't know—yet—was that that was his heart's response to Sakura's pain and anguish… soon to be his own.

-x-x-x-

As I sat upon the high metal structure, similar to ones that Pein sits on, I felt a familiar chakra presence come near, along with quieted footsteps. With my shut eyes, I panicked for a split second, but then I realized that, Hey, I'm on the same team as this guy now. My clenched jaw soon relaxed and turned into the smallest of grins, "Itachi," I acknowledged.

I heard a soft thump of him leaning against a metal post. "Sakura-san," he replied simply.

Opening my right eye, I looked at him. He was on my left side, "What are you doing here?" I asked as I opened my other eye to see him better.

"I could ask you the same. I thought Pein-sama had called you for a meeting only a short while ago. Why are you here now?"

I sighed through my nose. He's always going to be smug and all I'm-cooler-than-you answering a question with a question. Sitting up, I said, "I had to cut the meeting short." I was looking out into the sky of Amegakure, clear and not raining for once. It made me feel a bit better.

In the corner of my eye, I saw him slightly tilt his head, "You? Not Pein?"

"Yes."

"May I ask why?"

"No."

He lips tempted a grin—the smallest of all grins in the freaking world, mind you. "Why?"

With frustration laced in my voice I sighed, "It doesn't matter, okay? The only thing that matters to me now is this stupid organization. Supposedly. I have nothing left anywhere. The only one is Naruto—and I'm supposed to go frigging hunt him. K-Kakashi-sensei's gone. That's what Pein told me! He told me to just give up my hopes of going back to Konoha. That I've sold my soul to the Akatsuki." I looked down, "And I guess that's true," I said in a whisper voice. "I've lost everything. I've even lost myself. Who am I anymore?" I yelled the last sentence. I didn't notice the tears rushing down my face until I turned towards Itachi and saw his eyes widen a bit at my state.

The ever-strong pink-haired kunoichi was breaking.

I slapped my hands over my mouth and inwardly screamed at myself for letting myself go in front of him. To even tell any of the Akatsuki members what I just said was a huge thing. But to tell it to that Uchiha standing there… I just can't believe myself. I didn't mean to go that far—to say all of that. Heck, I'm even crying. It's like the cherry on top of the crap dessert.

In a normal case, I would have blushed furiously that someone saw me so weak and exposed, but instead I looked down at the ground so far below and cried even harder. Honestly, it felt good to finally let it out. I was trying to be strong, but it's so hard to be strong all the time. Every frigging day and night… it slowly kills me. Tears are there for a purpose, besides cleaning your eyes—it's to let loose that knot that you feel deep in your chest that keeps building up, getting tighter and tighter. And if you don't let it all out ever, then the knot will be pulled so tight that it will simply break and I'd be broken. However, it feels like I already am.

Itachi moved forward and sat right beside me. We sat in silence for a few moments until he merely said, "Sakura." I turned my head an inch, just enough to see him and not enough for him to see my whole face. "I want you to know…" he paused for a long moment, as if contemplating something. "I want you to know," he began again, "that you're not completely alone."

How would you know? I wanted to say, but couldn't since my sobs and streams of tears were the only things that was coming from me.

The man seemed to have read my mind because he continued, answering my silent question. "I feel as if we're the same, Sakura."

I tried to glare at him for even thinking of something like that, but my face felt so contorted and restricting that it was much more of a pout instead. I laid down on my back, laughing without any humor in it—even though it was more like a cough. My sobs were subsiding, but tears were still making their way down my stained face as my eyes shut.

"You may not believe me—you may not even want to believe me—but," he sighed as his own eyes closed, "I realize your pain. I know it."

"But you killed your family," I whispered (half-cried), "It's Sas-Sasuke who's supposed to feel this screaming pain. He's the one who's alone." I opened my eyes and looked over at Itachi with newfound anger towards him.

"Sasuke wasn't always alone. He had you and Naruto. He had the village on his side. It was his choice to leave."

"What are you getting at?" My eyebrows furrowed, getting confused—especially in this state. My tears had stopped for a bit, but then they spilled a bit whenever Itachi and I said Sasuke's name. Those memories pained me even more.

His eyes opened, "Sakura, it was my mission—given to me by the three Elders themselves—to assassinate my clan. That decision was the hardest I could ever make. Stay loyal to my village or to my clan? Ultimately, I chose Konohagakure. The Uchiha clan were planning to overthrow the Hokage and take over Konoha, making it a land of war again—possibly leading to a Fourth Great Shinobi World War. I had to… but I couldn't kill my little brother," his sad eyes seemed to smile, "My foolish little brother. He believed every word that I said..." His cold eyes looked to the ground, "If only he hadn't…" If only he hadn't.

He shook his head to clear his thoughts, "I was the most alone then. My clan was gone, save Sasuke, and my village hated me and wanted me dead. The decision to leave was easy enough, but I didn't know how bad the pain would feel. The pain of loneliness and self hatred…" Itachi looked me straight in the eyes, "It was horrible. …Even now I feel that way. The Akatsuki is infamous for its S-Ranked Ninja; its S-Ranked Ninja who would kill to get whatever they wanted. Killing only reminded me of what I did. And it was always on my mind enough, why add to that? Sometimes, I admit, I'd feel a deep regret of what I had done. However, I knew—I know—it was the right thing to do. If they had lived, it would have led to only more death." He paused and his eyes seemed glazed, as if in his own world as he talked, "However," he began, "the Akatsuki is the thing that has kept me out of the path of completely hating myself. When I have a job or mission, I felt needed and that I wasn't alone, that some people wanted me for something. Even if it was for the wrong purposes."

I sniffled and his eyes became aware of me again. "Sakura, I want you to know that I'm learning to trust you for some odd reason. That is quite strange because the only person that I trust is Kisame and myself. However, not even Kisame knows the full truth. He only knows that it was a mission to kill my family—but he doesn't know that the mission actually came from the Village Hidden in the Leaves, the Hokage."

The gears in my head were turning and turning, trying to process it all. When the bell dinged, saying that the thinking was done, I gasped and turned even more pale. (I was turning pallid even as he spoke because I was slowly understanding what he was telling me was the truth.) "S-So… So it's all a lie?" I sat up, my wide eyes staring out into space, "It was a mission?" I spoke the word with acid dripping from it. Cold sweat met my forehead as I whispered, "And Sasuke's chasing after a lie." My eyes widened even more as I jerked my head in Itachi's direction, "He's going to kill you!"

I now noticed that Itachi's eyes were watery. He hadn't let a tear drop, but they were there, tempting to fall. The memories must have been hurting him, too. "I knew that from the start," he said. "That if I let my brother live, I'd have to lie to him and tell him to hate me. I knew that he was going to kill me in the end."

"…Can't you just tell him the truth?"

"It's too late for that now, Pinky," he said, with a small, small grin on his lips that was so sad as he used Kisame's nickname for me. "My fate was written in stone long ago. It was planned out even before I was born."

I was getting mad now at all of this, "Then break that damned stone! Hit it over the person's head who wrote it. You can change your future."

The Uchiha softly snorted, "I can, but I cannot. I could avoid my death, but it would only prolong Sasuke's turmoil. It is needed to be done."

I sighed, exasperated. "You did this all for your village… all for him?"

"Hn," he answered, a yes coming from him. He put his arms behind him to support him as he leaned back.

I copied him as I looked up into the stars, allowing for a moment of silence, "Itachi…?" He didn't answer, but I felt that he was fine with me going on. "Can I ask you something?" Said man glanced over at me as I kept looking up into the abyss of blackness and light. (What a weird combination!) "Do you—would you ever consider Konohagakure your home ever again?"

He stared at me for a few more moments, and then turned his head to the stars, "I've thought about that before." I stayed silent, allowing him to go on. "And I think that if they'd even accept me and everything, I'd have to say no. It's been so long… plus, I'm not one to be stuck in cities."

"Aah," I commented. I still didn't know if could consider Konoha my home again and Itachi's answer didn't exactly give me hope… but I just was not sure.

We sat there in silence the rest of the time, listening to the unspoken questions and answers in our heads as we gazed up at the magnificent night sky. The raven and cherry blossom sat side by side, in their own silent ways accepting each other's friend requests. Who would have thought that I would become friends with Sasuke's (feign) greatest enemy? The world really is a strange place, especially when it decides to change all the time. I almost began to ponder the thought if the sun could come out even now. It would seem so easy to believe after this night. It felt like anything and everything was possible, but at the same time, nothing was.

I closed my eyes as a silent tear fell down my face as I mourned for Kakashi Hatake, my former sensei and always friend. At the same time, I prayed. I prayed that my life wouldn't ever turn out as twisted at Itachi's and that he would find a way for his secret to be known and for him to not be killed. I prayed that my life would begin to get better soon and that Kakashi-sensei was really in a better place or, if he believed in reincarnation, that he would be a dog so he could at least have friends he was familiar with in his new life.

"That all would be so nice," I murmured under my breath as I held back a sob.

Itachi didn't look at me, but he had heard me and seemed to know my silent prayers. All he said was, "Hn," and continued to gaze into the stars.

-x-x-x-

Off somewhere, but not as far as some would think, Sasuke Uchiha and his group, Hebi, were taking a break for the night.

Sasuke's face was calm and collected as usual with his eyes shut, but in his head was uncomfortable thinking. Also, thoughts of the twinge that went through his chest every now and then ran through his mind. "Ah," he let out quietly as he felt a deep pain go through his heart.

The female in his group, of course, was attentive to Sasuke's every move and sound and jumped at his voice. "Sasuke… is something wrong?" the redhead asked. She glanced at his hand that was over his heart.

The Uchiha didn't realize that his hand had moved and put it to his side again. The man glared at the girl, "Hn. Go to sleep, Karin."

The girl called Karin left grudgingly, stalking past a man with sharp teeth and white hair called Suigetsu and another man that was huge with orange hair named Juugo.

The youngest Uchiha left began to think even more. (It was something he tended to do a lot of.) What was that? he asked himself, referring to the ache that was in his heart. Suddenly, like a slap in the face, memories of Team Seven come to his mind and a weird sense of homesickness. What…? However, Sasuke—like Sasuke does—simply shook off the feelings and shook his head.

"Everyone: get some rest—tomorrow is an important day," the man with black (with a slight blue-ish tint) hair announced, knowing that no one was completely asleep now.

"Goodnight," he heard Karin say, as he began to fall asleep. He plainly ignored her just as he had ignored those sudden memories he had received. Just as he ignored the thoughts creeping into his head even now.

-x-x-x-

DEIDARA POV

I wonder where Sakura is. I had been looking for almost an hour, but still I didn't find her. I might have given up by now, but I found that Itachi was gone as well. The last time anyone saw her was when she was hurrying to Pein's office.

"Wondering," Sasori began, making me jump, "where Haruno is?"

I turned around, "Sasori! I told you not to do that, hmm!"

The redhead only raised an eyebrow, "Well?"

"Wondering where Haruno is?" I blinked. Uh, yes. "I guess I could say I'm maybe possibly curious about the, uh, misplacement of Sakura, hmm."

Sasori shook his head, "You are a sad human. But anyways, I saw her rush out of Pein-sama's office and towards a path that led to the some of the high buildings."

"Ah," I simply said. "Thanks, danna."

The puppeteer smiled at me mischievously, and then walked away.

"Idiot, hmm," I mumbled, then ran outside.

It took me long enough, but I found where Sakura was. I concealed my chakra, ready to scare her or something, however… My pale blue eyes widened, though, when I saw who was with her. That sorry bast— I cut my thoughts off as I saw Itachi look over at Sakura. It wasn't in a let's-make-love or dang-she's-find way or anything. It was much like a look of trust and appreciation.

I hated that look. It wasn't fair that Itachi could become that close to her while I couldn't. My heart squeezed and I frowned. It's not fair—Wait… what… am I thinking? Even though I asked myself that… I knew what (and why) I was thinking.

I looked at Sakura, my Princess. I had really come to like her. And I mean, really like her. I clenched my fists, And now she's all best friends with Itachi and I'm here, standing in the cold. Literally.

It wasn't fair. Not at all. It wasn't fair that he wanted to hold the pink haired girl and tell her that she's beautiful. It wasn't fair that Itachi was there with her. Fate isn't always the most fair when picking out a home for hearts.

Especially when hearts are so easily broken.

…Like today.

…Like so many others.

Pain and unfairness and the beginnings of love—among others—all wrapped into one…

No, it wasn't fair.

A/N: one: YAY FOR FRIGGING LONG CHAPTERS! and sucky endings, fail death scenes (RIP KAKASHI.. in this fanfic anyways), and too fast friendships (itachi and sakura's. oh well. i wrote that part out like a few months ago and i had to add it). gah. =/ twooooo: i want to ask you something that seems really simple… at least to me… for everyone who reads this story, you should review! xDDDD It would really make me feel awesomely awesome and get me even more motivated to complete NaNoWriMo and start writing Clay Hearts again. (i mean, come on, it only takes a few seconds.) i wuv youz. =3 (and, uhm, it my birthday October 20th! …two days ago.) ;3

I'LL MISS YOU.

Be back in a month.

[*sings* TO NANOLANNNNNNND~~~~~~]

-kariteyume