Elena never thought she will be sitting among the popular crowd during lunch time. Popular table, by every definition, was like any other table in the cafeteria, only it was already reserved for the popular crowd. Aunt Jenna told her it's been like that since she was in high school. Two joined tables in the middle of the room with the same grey, dirty plastic and same uncomfortable chairs, like any other table there. And still, everyone were looking at it as if it were a throne, like they would sell their soul to sit by it, just once in their life. No one ever dared to sit there without an invitation, though. And unless you're a perky cheerleader or a hot jock, you didn't get an invitation.
Caroline told her stories, since she's been there with Tyler few times, but overall, she felt uncomfortable there. Everyone are staring at you while you eat, including the females who don't eat anything. They are looking at you like you just murdered someone in front of their eyes, and once, Kayla, one of the cheerleaders, told her she's murdering her good figure with every bite she takes. So Caroline rather had lunch with the Bonnie and Elena, where you could eat whatever you wanted to eat, without everyone staring at you like you just won the lottery.
Elena never understood other people's fascination by it, until she realized she's fascinated by it herself. She started wondering what they talk about during lunch, do they talk at all or do they just criticize other people? What do they eat, if they eat at all? Is popular lunch like every other lunch?
She got a chance to find out when Stefan asked her to have lunch with them. Bonnie was skipping school with Jeremy, doing things Elena would rather not think about, so she was able to persuade Caroline to go as well.
She found out the popular lunch table was like every other table. They ate, talked, joked. They accepted her pretty quickly. It's like being Stefan's girlfriend changed everything. One minute she was no one, and when he took her hand in his, everyone started acting like she's been their friend for years. They included her in their discussions, asking her has she seen this or heard that, suddenly caring about her opinion. They were like a pack of wild animals, helpless without their leader.
Stefan held his arm around Elena's shoulders, talking to one of the guys. Elena was leaning closer to Stefan, drowning in his embrace, discussing the Prom with Caroline and Rebekah. Rebekah expressed her fear Damon won't agree to come to the dance if she asks him.
"Stefan," a loud female voice said his name through a moan. Everyone stopped talking and raised their heads to look at Katherine who was standing on the left side of the table, her open palms pressing on the surface of the it. She was leaning a little, puckering her lips. Stefan looked at her curiously, waiting to see what does she want from him, tightening his hold on Elena since she started backing away. "Are we still on for tonight?" a delicious grin appeared on her face.
Her shiny brown curls were falling around her face, bouncing on her shoulders. Her grin was seductive.
Stefan swallowed hard. He knew exactly what she was talking about. It was Friday, their usual day for certain physical activities.
"Katherine," he said her name like a warning, still keeping his arm around Elena's shoulders, "I'm with Elena now," he looked at her significantly.
Katherine's brows furrowed. Everyone's eyes were on her, but she did not care. It's like she hasn't even noticed. Maybe she's used to it. If everyone kept looking at Elena like that, she would feel uncomfortable, for sure.
"Oh yes," Katherine says calmly, like it doesn't concern her much, "I've heard something about the two of you playing house," she says with a mocking tone of voice, smirking. "Anyway, I'm not asking you to be my baby's daddy, I want only one thing from you," her voice became more silent when she reached the end of the sentence.
It made Elena's blood boil.
"Katherine," Stefan repeated her name one more time, a little bit annoyed by now, "Like I said, I'm in a relationship now," he tried to make it more clear to her, but the word relationship only made Katherine chuckle.
No one took Stefan's relationship seriously, and it made Elena incredibly angry, how no one respected what they have. Even though she was aware they have a perfectly good reason not to believe in it.
"So, what are you saying?" Katherine asks, playing dumb. Or maybe she's really dumb.
"He's saying he doesn't want to fuck you anymore," Elena snaps at her, and now everyone move their looks to Elena.
She was red in her face, her eyes wide open, locked on Katherine's surprised face. Stefan slowly turns his head around and looks at her surprised. He has never seen her like this.
She has never seen herself like this either, but Katherine was getting on her last nerves. She felt like she's going to explode if she doesn't say something. There was this stream of power in her head, making her uncomfortable in her own skin, making her grit her teeth to every word Katherine directed to Stefan. It's like she's.. jealous.
From the look on other people's faces it's clear to her no one talks to Katherine in this way.
Katherine regains her composure pretty quickly, though, a smirk reappearing on her face.
"Well," she hisses through her teeth, making everyone by the table look back at her, "If he doesn't get it from me, who is he going to get it from?" she enjoys as Elena's face washes in confusion and shame, "It's not like he's getting any from you," she says through a laugh, pushing herself away from the table and crosses her arms on her chest, "I know how Stefan looks when he's sexually satisfied, and he's nowhere near looking as happy as he used to," she continues, knowing her words are hurting Elena.
Elena's cheeks cover in blush. Is it really that obvious? Does Stefan really look so unhappy? Is he unhappy?
She feels like all of the eyes are back on her, but she doesn't have anything to say. Why doesn't Stefan say anything? Why isn't he defending her?
Defending her from what? The truth?
"Maybe Elena has more to offer than sex," Rebekah finally says.
Elena looks at her and shoots her a thankful look, and Rebekah smiles at her warmly in return.
"Yeah, maybe," Katherine replies smugly.
Maybe no one talks to Katherine like this, but not even Katherine has enough strength to snap back at Rebekah.
It's funny how their group works. There are few people who have the power to say anything they want, and then there are those who are not treated better by their so called friends than the outsiders.
Katherine leans over the table again, but this time her eyes lock on Elena's. "When he calls me, I'm not going to be surprised," she tells Elena with a serious, straight face, "And something is telling me you won't be either."
"Elena!" Rebekah yells after her.
Elena turns around and tries to force a smile to a waving Rebekah who is only few feet away from her. She knows her cheeks are still red and puffy, because she can feel them swelling under her eyes. The inside of her mouth is burning, and she has a feeling she's going to spit fire at anyone who says something she's not ready to hear.
Rebekah smiles at her as she stops herself in front of Elena.
She wiggles her lips, and Elena realizes Rebekah has trouble with saying something.
"Did you want to talk to me about something?" Elena asks, as warm as she can, trying not to sound rude. Because she really doesn't feel like talking.
"Yes, actually," Rebekah keeps wiggling her lips, her lower lip constantly collapsing with the upper one, hiding it, "I know I'm Stefan's friend, but I'd like you to think of me as your friend as well," Rebekah's eyes glimmer, and Elena only then realizes how beautifully blue her eyes are. They're different shade from Damon's. Damon's eyes are very piercing, when he looks at you, you have a feeling he's seeing something you're not aware you decided to show to the world. Like he's seeing right through you. But Rebekah's eyes are very comforting, and friendly. There's something soothing about them, and there's a certain amount of vulnerability inside of them. "And I'm not saying this only because you two are together now, I'm saying this because I genuinely like you."
Elena was glad to hear that, because she really liked Rebekah as well. "Thank you," she replied, her smile genuine this time.
"You know, what Katherine said, she did it only to annoy you," Rebekah spits out, her dislike of Katherine obvious."
"You don't like her very much, do you?" Elena laughs lightly as both of them start walking down the hall.
"I hate how she thinks she's better than everyone."
"So why are you still friends with her then?" Elena frowns. She could never be friends with someone she dislikes that much.
"Because every now and then she does something that makes me believe she has a heart."
Elena looks at Rebekah. Katherine? A heart? Real human heart? Sounds almost impossible.
"Were her and Stefan ever - "
"Serious?" Rebekah interrupts her, and Elena nods to confirm. "No, only sex. He's never been serious with someone until now," she says, making Elena smile.
Somehow that makes her feel special. Happy.
"Elena," she says her name uncomfortable, stopping, "I really don't want to pry," Elena can sense a but coming, "But," and there it is, "How come you still haven't slept together?" she looks at Elena, little afraid of her reaction.
If it were anyone else, Elena would probably murder them in place. But Rebekah was so nice, she would hate being unpleasant to her, so she tries to keep a warm face.
"I do not know," she says truthfully, trying to find a reason, an explanation good enough, "Every time we are close to it, I stop, and he doesn't seem to complain," she shrugs.
Rebekah ponders on that for a moment. "Because he's scared," she whispers, like she's telling her a secret. In a way, she is.
"Scared?" Elena furrows her brows in disbelief.
Rebekah nods, her eyes wide open. "You see, he knows how to have sex with a woman. He's an expert at sneaking out of the room and never returning the calls. But with you," she prolongs those three words, "You will be there when he wakes up. And you will get a chance to do it all over again. And I think that scares him. Maybe he thinks he's going to disappoint you."
"I thought Stefan Salvatore doesn't disappoint in bed," she laughs, trying to keep the conversation light.
"It's not about the sex," Rebekah shakes her head, "He thinks you're going to be disappointed in him, as a person."
"Why didn't he tell me all of this?" Elena frowns, her nostrils widening in furry.
"It takes time for Stefan to realize how he feels," Rebekah smiles warmly, "And it takes even more time for him to say how he feels."
Elena nods in understanding. She knows this. She knows he's not the one to talk about feelings much, even though he's improving.
"When it comes to this, I think you will have to be the strong one," Rebekah squeezes Elena's arm lightly with a smile on her face.
Strong is one thing she knows how to be. But how to be strong when it comes to Stefan, when he's her only weakness?
"So, umm," Elena mumbles as she grabs the handle of Stefan's car, "I'll see you tomorrow, thanks for the ride home," she tells him so casually, like he's just only of the boys from school, she tells him so coldly she can feel the ice dripping off her lips. She barely even looked at him, only with the corner of her eye.
At the moment she wanted to open the door he grabbed her by the wrist. Lightly, but she still felt like he chained her to himself. Like her skin is burning where he's holding her, and not in a good way.
She looks at him, and there's a half smile on his face. "Don't I even get a kiss?" he asks, and she's angry he can't see there's something wrong. Or maybe he can, but he's just playing dumb, to avoid the talk about what happened today during lunch. To talk about what that means for them and how they feel about it.
"Sure," she does her best to force a smile on her face. She leans over to him and gives him a small, quick peck on the lips. It wasn't even a peck. She barely scraped her lips against his.
"Elena," he says her name desperately, his voice hollow, "Is there something wrong?" he stops her from leaving the car again.
Elena raises her eyebrow, a little frustrated. "Have you been present during lunch or?" she asks him, her voice unreadable. He can't tell is she angry or hurt or annoyed.
"It's just Katherine.." he says, like it's a valid excuse. Is it how it's going to be from now on? Every time she makes a comment it will be excused with "It's just Katherine..?"
"Are you unhappy with me?" she asks, her voice jumping.
"What?" he asks in disbelief, "Of course not," he replies, almost sounding offended she would even ask him such a question. "If I were unhappy with you I wouldn't be here right now."
He has a point. And she hates when he has a point.
"What's keeping you?" she regrets the question as soon as it comes out of her mouth.
He glares at her in disbelief. "Elena.." he pleads, dreading of the conversation she wants them to have.
"I mean, it's not sex," she continues despite his pleading.
"God Elena, it's not about sex," he laughs out of frustration.
"You don't want to have sex with me?" she asks, sounding insulted.
He buries his face in his palms. "Of course I do," he loses his breath somewhere in the middle of the sentence.
He tries to figure her out. First she's mad because she thinks he only wants sex from her, and now she's mad because she thinks he doesn't want sex from her.
"I want a list," she crosses her arms over her chest.
"A list?" he asks confused, raising his head from his hands.
"A list of girls you've been with," she says determined.
"You want me to write down every girl I've ever had sex with?"
She turns her head to him. "Yes, will that be a problem for you?"
He's been sexually active since he's been 14. That's four years of having sex. At least once a week. Only few times with the same girl. That's.. oh God.
"Can I just point out all of the thousand reasons why I think this is a bad idea?" he looks at her desperately, "I can't change my past."
"I'm not asking you to. I'm only asking you to share it with me," she says before she leaves the car.
AN: Thank you for your reviews, all of you are really wonderful and make me happy I decided to write this story.