THANK YOU FOR REVIEWING!!! I really, really get encouraged when you drop me a line. A special thanks to MysticPegasai for finding my story, loving it, and reviewing along the way. I really enjoyed your feedback! Also, thanks to everyone reviewing for the first time.

As you all know, I like responding to my reviews. Please accept my apologies; I won't be able to respond until tomorrow. I knew you'd all rather me finish this. :) But trust me, I've read them and loved them and used them to the best of my ability. --- Oh, and excuse any typos in here. Didn't have time to edit carefully.

I started a new story that is in its infancy. It is M, though, seriously M!! (blushes like Bella). I hope it gets good, but it's too early to tell. Just thought I'd tell ya.

REVIEW! I will get chaps out faster.

Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight.

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About an hour after leaving Carlisle, we ended up in Astoria, a small seaside town just north of Portland. Although Bella didn't complain, I knew she must be uncomfortable with our travel arrangements. Humans needed to stretch their legs, so Astoria would have to do. I'd always thought it was nice, anyway. I sat Bella down outside of a modest hotel, and neither of us said a word as I went inside to get a room. She had been quiet since we'd left the house, and I was too on edge to speak. For the millionth time, I wished to know her thoughts.

Although I still had plenty of money, we needed to lay low until I figured out what we were going to do. Without Carlisle's support, I would have to make some money. I had always accepted his support like a selfish child, never thinking about making any on my own. That had to change; I had Bella to worry about now. Until we were more stable, Bella and I would avoid the Ritz Carltons of the world. I knew she wouldn't mind, but it still bothered me not to give her the best of everything.

We found our hotel room and went inside, still not speaking. It had one queen bed in the center of the room and plain wood furniture. Bella moved away from me, and I couldn't bring myself to reach out to her yet. My mind was going a mile a minute. I needed to get Bella food, and…

"Edward, sit down." Bella was standing in the corner of the room, watching my mind frantically race.

"Bella, I can't. You must be starving, and we need to…"

"Sit down," she said with authority, emphasizing each word. She'd never talked to me like this before, and there was a look of determination in her brown eyes. "Please," she added, softening her voice.

I complied with her request and sat on the bed, facing her. Was she angry with me? I could never apologize enough for my behavior, but I would do all that I could to make it up to her. I would listen to her, and I do whatever I needed…

"Edward, do you really…want to be with me? Do you love me?"

Why was she asking that? Hadn't I been clear? "Yes, more than you'll ever know. Bella, I love you, I—"

"Stop." She held up her hand, cutting me off. "Let me speak before you continue. If you mean it, if you really love me, then I need you to hear me out, Edward. Can you do that?"

I shook my head in assent, trying to obey her request.

She rubbed her forehead, collecting her thoughts and exhaling a breath. "Edward, I won't let you leave your family." I started to protest, but she held up a finger to silence me. "I won't," she repeated. "There is a solution to this, and we will find it, so help me God. But you have to calm down, and you have to work through this with me. Okay?"

I nodded again, waiting for her continue. She wasn't finished.

"You cannot hunt humans; I agree with Carlisle. We can't live like that, and I'll never be able to accept it, or forgive myself, for being involved. You deserve better than that kind of life." She started pacing. "I don't want you looking for murderers when I'm asleep! I…don't feel safe with you doing that, and I can't be sure that it won't harm you eventually. I'll always feel responsible. You're too important, and…" I saw the tears welling up in her eyes from her emotional confession.

I started to talk, but she cut me off. "Please. Let me finish. I need to say this." She took a deep breath. I hated seeing her struggle.

"I won't compromise, and I want us to discuss all of our options. I want to know everything about becoming a vampire, and I want to…"

I couldn't stay silent anymore. "No, Bella!," I roared.

"Why not?," she asked with defiance blazing in her eyes.

"There was a time that I thought about you…changing, but you don't realize how painful it is, or what you'd be committing to. Now that I realize how much I love you, I can't make you a monster. I've already been too selfish." I was begging her to listen to me.

"You're not a monster, and you're not selfish. I'm here because I want to be, and we need to discuss this."

"Bella," I said dangerously, "even if you didn't want to be here with me, I'm not sure that you'd have a choice in the matter anymore." Let that sink in. Let her see just how deranged I was about her. She may reconsider binding herself to me for all of eternity.

"But I do want to be here, and you have given me choices. Considering all of that, don't I deserve to know everything, Edward? Don't I get to decide?" She threw Carlisle's words back at me.

"No." I turned away and tightened my jaw.

"You don't own me, Edward Cullen. I want to know. I won't take no for an answer." I stared at her, dumbfounded. Was she threatening me? The girl was insane; she clearly wasn't going to let this go.

"What if I refuse to tell you, Bella?" I tried to sound menacing and call her bluff, but I was losing this fight. I just wanted her back in my arms. She knew only too well that she could threaten me, and I would obey. Who was I kidding?

She ignored my question and lowered her voice. "Is it because you may not…like me as much?" She blushed and suddenly looked especially vulnerable. "You need to be honest with me. You say that you love me, but what exactly do you love about me?" She ducked her head and played with her hair, waiting for my answer.

"What do you mean?"

"Is it my blood that you love, Edward, or me?" She blushed furiously. "If I'm a vampire, will you not…want me?"

Yes, she was definitely insane. Maybe we did deserve each other, considering how crazy we both were. "I love all of you, Bella. Every damn part of you," I cried. "You could have three feet and it wouldn't change how I feel about you. You could be a vampire, and it wouldn't change how I feel, either. In fact, it would be easier for me, a thousand times over. But don't you see? I can't let that happen! I don't think I would've chosen this life for myself. I can't let you suffer just so I'm happy."

"But you do have this life, Edward." She bore into me with unflinching intensity, driving home her next words. "I've felt pain before. I've spent most of my life in pain, and I've spent it alone. Now, I've found you, and I want you forever. If you're worried about my pain, then stop! I know my limits. I told you that the first time we met. I can endure pain," she paused and lowered her eyes, "but I can't endure losing you."

I was crumbling at her words. It was all too much. My resolve, my determination, my everything, was crumbling. I put my head in my hands and tried to be strong, tried to figure out what to say to make her see my perspective. How would we ever work this out?

Bella saw the torment on my face and walked over to me. She straddled me on the bed and held my head to her chest, rocking me back and forth. I leaned into her skin, ever so gently, and breathed in her dangerous scent. I wished I could cry. I needed it. Instead, I hugged her tightly to my body.

"I love you," she whispered against my hair. She kissed the top of my head tenderly and ran her fingers through my hair. "I want to be with you," she murmured, kissing me again.

"I love you, too," I replied. "I want you." I didn't want to fight with her anymore, my lovely purpose for existence.

She kissed the top of my head again, nuzzling my face deeper into her chest. It was so delicious. I kissed her chest softly.

"Show me that you love me," she breathed seductively. She grabbed my hair and pulled my head up to hers, kissing me passionately. It took me by surprise, and an involuntary moan escaped my lips. I slipped my hands underneath her shirt and gripped her waist, feeling her warm flesh. "Show me," she whimpered again. "Please."

She pushed me back onto the bed, still straddling me. She moved to my neck, kissing down the length of my throat. I felt her pulling at the hem of my shirt, trying to take it off. I wouldn't resist her. I let her slip it off, and she ran her hands over my abs and down to the waist of my pants. Her fingers lingered there, teasing me. She started kissing across my collar bone, traveling further down my chest with her hot breath.

"Bella, enough. We can't, love…"

"Please," she asked against my chest. It was torture.

"I, I'm afraid, Bella. I don't trust myself." My body betrayed my words as I continued to grip her waist.

"I don't care," she said. She resumed kissing me, driving me wild. She started pushing her hips against mine, and I was on fire with desire, trembling underneath her. I was losing my mind under her hypersensitive touch. Yes, she had won this fight. I was surrendering.

"Bella," I pleaded, my final attempt at sanity before I ravaged her. She ignored me and nipped gently at my hip bone. I gasped, swallowing my venom. All I could feel was her mouth.

"Forever, Edward. Please…"

A part of my mind finally heard her, and her words nagged at me. Was Bella purposely testing my control? Was she…trying to push me, to change her? This wasn't fair. She had gone too far. Anger overshadowed my lust and let reason seep back into my mind.

I pushed her off my chest and got off of the bed with blinding speed. Her swollen lips were pouting, and rejection swam in her eyes.

My pants were hanging low on my waist, and I could still feel her breath on my stomach. I fought around the sensation to speak harshly. "Are you trying to cause me pain, Bella? Or, are you really just that eager for immortality? Maybe I should ask what you love about me," I spat.

My words stung. I saw hurt distort her features, but I didn't want to take them back. I wanted to know, even though I knew deep down that it didn't matter. I would still love her just the same if it were true.

She pushed back tears, but her pain quickly turned to anger. She glared at me. "Yes, Edward, I want immortality." She threw up her arms. "I'm glad you think so highly of me."

She took a deep breath, anger still flashing in her eyes. "Of course, I don't really know what 'changing' even means. You won't tell me. Do you bite me? Perform some sort of ritual? I don't even know what to do, or not to do, to make you do it."

I finally lost it. If she wanted to know so badly, I would tell her. "Yes, Bella. I bite you. More accurately, I rip your flesh open with my teeth and drink your blood. Most likely, I'll suck you dry. If, God willing, I have the restraint to stop, then my venom will boil through your veins, setting you on fire. You'll burn for days, tormented by unimaginable pain."

I saw her shock, and it fueled my words. "You'll beg for death, until your last heartbeat. You'll scream as you stare into the depths of hell. And even when your heart loses the battle, you'll continue to burn. You'll want nothing more than to die, and to destroy. But you'll already be dead." She had stopped breathing, and my eyes were ablaze with the truth of my words. "It'll never go away. You'll burn for eternity, always existing on the outskirts of humanity, never wanting anything more than to kill."

I broke away from her stare, looking at the wall. It hurt too badly to witness her fear. "Are you still ready to die, Bella?" My voice was strained.

"I'm sorry, Edward." She choked out the words. "But, yes. I am ready. I'll stand in hell with you. You're proof that there's more. I'd gladly burn to be with you." She was sobbing now. "What if you were in my place, Edward?"

I waited for her sobs to subside, too afraid to approach her. I was angry at myself for making her cry, and I couldn't trust myself to be close to her racing blood.

"There has to be another option," I said more for my benefit, evading her question.

"Well, you hunting humans isn't an option. Like I said; I won't compromise."

"Then I'll go back to animals. It can be enough again. I'll learn." It would be risky, but I loved her enough to protect her from myself. I would do it, especially if it kept her human.

"But what about the other members of your family? I won't take you away from them, and it may be difficult for them to be around me, too. It's risky."

"We'll wait a few years to be around them. Once Emmett has a few years, it'll be fine." I would say anything to convince her to wait. I felt destined to hurt her.

"I think we should talk to Alice," she said slowly.

I was incredulous. "Why?"

"We should find out exactly what she saw. We should know."

"Don't tell me you buy that psychic routine?"

"I trust Carlisle. You should, too. We should at least talk to her. You shouldn't judge her without even meeting her." Bella had a point.

"Fine. We'll talk to her, but only on one condition," I said.

"What?," she replied cautiously.

"I want you to promise that we'll slow down. We have time, Bella. I know everything feels rushed, but it doesn't have to be. You don't need to become a vampire tonight, or even next year, or ever."

"As long as you're hunting humans, I can't agree to that."

"I'll stop." I meant it. I would try.

She sighed. "Honestly, I don't see the point, Edward. If it's going to happen, I'd rather do it now and not waste any time."

"But we're saving time, Bella! I want you to go to college, and I want you to experience all of the things about being human that I missed out on. It's not the same afterward. Trust me."

"Fine, I will try to take it slow, but I want something else in return. I want you to make up with your father."

"Not yet, Bella." My eyes hardened. The shock of his threat to disown me was wearing off, and anger was taking its place. He'd wanted to cast me out. I wasn't interested in crawling back just yet.

"Edward, please. I feel…responsible. You love him so much. He clearly loves you. You're his son. It isn't worth it to fight."

"You're not responsible. Please don't feel that way. I just need some time to process it all."

We sat in silence for a moment.

"Edward...one more thing?"

"Hmm?"

"Please put your shirt back on." Crimson stained her perfect cheeks.

I gave her a crooked grin and sauntered over to her. I was relieved that our fight was temporarily over and couldn't resist. "Am I distracting you, love?"

"Yes," she gulped.

"How does it feel? You distract me all of the time." I looked down at her on the bed, enjoying her evident discomfort. I swept my eyes over her legs and subtle curves.

She grinned and pushed herself off the bed. I almost fainted when she grabbed the bottom of her blouse and started pulling it up slowly. I caught a glimpse of her stomach as she inched it up and over her skirt.

I groaned in defeat. "Fine, Bella. You win." I rolled my eyes and put my shirt back on. "I'm going to find you some food, my little temptress. What would you like?"

"Anything."

"How about some pasta? There's a place up the road. It's late, but I think it's still open. Do you feel up to going out?"

"Actually, yes. Just give me a few minutes."

"Take as many as you want."

We went out to get dinner a few minutes later, hand in hand. It was cold out and she was shivering, but she wouldn't let go of me. I wished I could be warm for her.

I had seen a different side of Bella tonight, and I had to admit that I was impressed. She was even stronger than I'd realized. She had stood up to me, and I respected her for it. I didn't think it was possible to admire her anymore than I already did. I felt beyond lucky.

When I told her so, she laughed.

"What?," I asked.

"You don't see yourself very clearly. I feel like I'm the lucky one. I spend most of my time trying to figure out what you see in me."

We were out in front of the restaurant, and I stopped walking. "You really are ridiculous," I said, bringing my lips to hers. She tasted amazing; I could stand like this forever. Despite the cold night air, Bella's lips ignited under our contact.

Edward. Don't panic.

I froze at the sound of name being thought. I pulled away from Bella's lips and tensed. Someone was here.

I could smell Bella's mounting fear. She knew well enough by now that, when I froze, something was wrong.

"Edward, what is it?"

Edward, it's Alice, and Jasper is with me. We won't hurt Bella. I saw earlier that you would decide to talk to me, and I left to meet you. I'm sorry for coming so quickly, but I promised your mother. She's really upset. We're over behind the brick building to your left.

I could smell them now and knew exactly where they were. Knowing that they could hear me, I spoke aloud. "I know where you are. What are you waiting for? Bella and I were just about to have dinner. Join us." This was an inevitable meeting, so I might as well let it happen. I wanted to meet them in a public place, anyway, so this was perfect.

Really, Edward? Thank you! Alice's enthusiasm was genuine. She was definitely as exuberant as Carlisle portrayed her to be.

"Bella, it looks like you're getting your wish earlier than expected. Alice is here, along with her mate, Jasper. They'll be joining us for dinner."

"Oh," she said, startled. "That's…a surprise. Neat."

Did she just say 'neat' to having dinner with three vampires? I shook my head. She never ceased to amaze me.

I held Bella tightly as two vampires tentatively rounded the corner. They were everything I'd seen in Carlisle's thoughts and more. Alice was extremely short and petite. She had jet black hair and tiny, proportioned features. She was grinning ear to ear, and she began prancing towards us in excitement. Jasper held back, more wary of the situation. He had blonde hair and boyish features, but his battle scars made him look dangerous and rugged. Their eyes were a light golden color.

I tried to read his mind and felt calming energy radiating from him. I raised a questioning eyebrow his direction.

It's my talent, he answered wryly. I can…manipulate emotions. I didn't want Bella to feel scared, although she's surprisingly calm. I'm also surprised that you're so…composed. You're hurting, but I thought you'd be much worse off. I've never experienced a singer myself. He smiled.

His confusion over our composure made me laugh. Of course Bella wouldn't be afraid. It was so like her to take this in stride. She thought it was 'neat.' And, as for me, I had hunted recently enough. I wasn't hurting too badly…yet.

They stopped in front of us, keeping their distance.

"Hi, Bella! Edward! I'm Alice. It's so nice to finally meet you." I gasped as her thoughts flooded into me. I could see in her mind that she'd seen me months before. She knew about Atlanta, my upbringing, and she…adored me. Before I could dig deeper into her psyche, she started thinking about how pretty Bella was and European art. I wanted to see more and furrowed my brow as she kept me out.

She laughed, giving me a meaningful look. "This is going to be interesting."

Jasper smiled apologetically before I could answer her and jumped in. "I'm Jasper. It's also a pleasure to meet the both of you."

Bella gave them a huge smile, obviously feeling the effects of Jasper's talent. "It's so nice to meet both of you, too."

I groaned. This was too much. "Well, Bella hasn't eaten. Let's go inside, shall we?"

And with that, I went to have dinner with two vampires and my Bella, preparing myself for an interesting night.

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