Sorry the updates haven't been so fast this week—my husband's been out of town on business and I've had to hold down the fort with two certifiably insane little boys. My evenings are a blur of cooking, laundry and red wine. I've become Kitty!
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This chapter is sadly sMut-free, so it's safe to let the kids out. Anyway—hope you like it. And for those of you who haven't picked up on it, I've been having at least one of the characters (if not all) get stoned in each chapter. Hence the fic title : D
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And yes, I will eventually finish up the remaining two(?) chapters of The Long Road Back, as well as an epilogue.
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CHAPTER 20
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Jackie wakes up in her bed and carefully slides out from under the arm of Michael. Both are fully-dressed but crashed together after a long night.
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She creeps out into the living room with the intent to make coffee and literally stumbles onto Fez, who is sitting on the floor next to the couch.
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"Ouch Fez. What the hell are you doing on the floor?" she wonders, as she rights herself.
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"Just doing some thinking" he says quietly.
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Knowing Fez isn't one for 'thinking' of anything that doesn't involve sugar or boobs, Jackie slides down onto the floor next to him. "What's up?"
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"I'm not sure I want to talk about it yet" he pouts, looking glum.
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She knows he scored last night, because she could hear it through their thin walls. She also has a sneaking suspicion that the lady in question was not exactly what she presented herself to be.
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"Does this have to do with Alex? That's her name, right?" she confirms.
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Fez nods.
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Jackie racks her brain trying to figure out a way to phrase her question without offending Fez or putting him on the spot. She always had an inkling about her foreign friend that he may not have been privy to himself until last night.
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The pervert's devotion to Kelso is legendary and borderline obsessive, which Michael doesn't seem to notice of course - even though the rest of the gang has ridiculed it for years. Hyde used to joke that Fez was 'half in love' with Michael, and perhaps Steven wasn't too far off.
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"Umm...is Alex short for Alexander or Alexandra?" Jackie asks quietly, dodging his eye-line to avoid making him feel uncomfortable.
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Fez took a breath. "Seems you're a lot more observant than I was. What gave it away to you?" he asks, trying to decipher what he seemed to miss.
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"Well, she did seem to have an Adam's apple...and quite large, unattractive hands-almost as big as Donna's" she continues, trying hard to break it to him gently. "And earlier, when we were dancing at CBGB's, there was a distinct, ahem, bulge in her...um...pants."
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Fez and Jackie stare intensely at one another until he breaks, laughing hysterically at himself. "How could I not notice any of those things?" he howls, triggering a giggle fit in his best girlfriend.
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Jackie's laughing slows down. "Are you sure you didn't? I mean maybe, on some level, you kind of did?"
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Fez stares thoughtfully for a moment at the dark-haired beauty. "I'm sure, Jackie" he says, "but when I found out, I was surprised that it didn't really seem to bother me much."
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"What do you mean?" she asks with brows knitted in confusion.
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"I was attracted to her, and I liked making out with her. She was sexy and fun, and I liked dancing with her. None of those things changed after I realized she had boy parts. If I liked her as a woman, why couldn't I like her as a man? What's the difference really? When the lights were out, dancing with her and kissing her felt the same as it did with Nina, except that Nina never let me lead." he rationalizes, working out his feelings as he verbalizes them.
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"What does this mean?" she wonders. "Are you, you know...like Fenton?"
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Fez shakes his head. "You know how much I love boobies, Jackie. Those feelings will never disappear. I guess I would say that I'm just, you know...open to whatever life has to offer."
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She scrunches up her face with titillation. "Like—open to anything?!"
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He shrugs. "Whatever feels good, I suppose. I mean, I wouldn't give up a piece of candy that tastes yummy just because I found out it was made from something I don't normally eat."
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"Even if it were made from black liquorice?" she challenges, knowing her buddy's strong aversion.
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Fez shudders with the thought and then nods. "Sugar is sugar, Jackie. If it's tasty, I will eat it" he decides.
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The little pixie smiles at her friend and throws her arms around him. "I'm so proud of you for being so mature and honest with yourself, Fezzy" she coos while pulling him in even closer.
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"Ah yes, Jackie. A little to the left" he requests lasciviously.
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She gasps and then slaps his arm. "Perv!"
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Donna rolls over in bed and grabs her head in agony. If she didn't know better she'd swear Lars Ulrich is doing a drum solo directly on her brain. How did she get home last night?
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Donna throws off the covers and leaps out of bed, shocked to discover that she is completely naked. She looks over at the bed, frightened but sure of what she's about to find. A man with bleached blond hair, tattoos and a studded cuff is lying face down on Eric's side of the bed. She pulls the top sheet from the blanket and wraps it around herself like a towel.
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This is going to require an extra-long call to her shrink later on today.
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Silently, she creeps out of the bedroom, breathing a sigh of relief as she closes the door shut. She squeezes the skin between her eyes, wondering what came over her and what crazy shit went down the night before.
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She turns around and notices Fez and Jackie, still sitting on the floor but with coffee in their hands now, staring intently.
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"Good morning sunshine. You're certainly up with a bang" Jackie teases, her impish eyes gleaming.
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Donna rolls her eyes in response and pulls the excess sheet off of the floor, draping it over her arm.
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"You're looking mighty fresh today—and I'm not talking about clean, Donna." Fez gives her his best stallion face.
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The redhead stumbles toward them and sits on the couch, worming her way between her two roommates. She reaches forward and lifts Fez's coffee mug out of his hands and drinks. "Thanks."
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"Hey! That was my mocha!" he whines.
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Donna takes a sip and winces. "Do you have to turn everything into candy?" she moans.
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Fez looks at her blankly. "Yes!" he snaps as he grabs the mug back from her hands and protectively scurries to the kitchen with it.
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Jackie hands Donna her mug. "Here, you can have some of mine" she offers.
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She looks at the little one suspiciously as she drinks her beverage. Jackie isn't willingly generous for no reason. She wonders what the strings will be in this case. "Thanks" she mumbles from beneath the lip of the cup.
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"So...?" Jackie waits anxiously.
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Aha. She should have known this would be about gossip. Her giant friend peeks guiltily at her from inside the mug. "I wish I could tell you something, but I just don't know."
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The brunette's eyebrows raise in alarm. "You don't know or you don't remember?"
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Sheepishly, Donna detaches her lips from the side of the glass. "Both?"
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She shakes her head angrily. "I knew I should've stopped you from dropping acid with that guy."
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"What about you? You're like Bianca Fucking Jagger at The Mudd Club, doing lines off your boyfriend's ass!" she retorts.
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"No no no" she shakes her finger in Donna's face. "I am not the one who fucked a stranger last night, and I would never do lines off of somebody's ass. That's unsanitary and you know it" she huffs, briefly flashing back to the memory of licking whipped cream off of Steven's ass. She shakes her brain free of the ghost.
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"Okay, Gia Carrangi" she snarks as she pretends to wipe coke residue off of Jackie's nose.
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Jackie smiles lovingly at her friend and places her hand over her heart. "You think I look like a supermodel? That's so sweet, Donna."
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"That's what you took away from that?" Donna shakes her head in disgust. "What happened with that guy last night?"
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"We just slept together! I mean, we slept next to each other—that's it. We made out a little, he tried to grope me a bit, we smoked some weed and we crashed." she explains.
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An evil smile works it's way across Donna's porcelain face. "And what did Fez get up to?"
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Trying to be a good friend, Jackie very poorly attempts to make her face look neutral and shrugs with faux ignorance.
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"So you're telling me he didn't hook up with Alex? Hmm. He looked really into him" she says throwing her hands up in an 'oh well' gesture.
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The two women have a game of chicken, seeing who breaks first.
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Donna slams the mug down on the table and smirks. "That's how you're gonna play it, huh Burkhart? I mean seriously. The girl had an Adam's apple the size of a small MacIntosh!"
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"I know! Right? How could he not see it?" she shrieks a little too loudly.
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"What did he say when he found out? Was he pissed off?" she prods, wanting to know all the details.
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"Actually...he was pretty cool with it" she mentions, breezily.
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She cocks her head and looks at her tiny friend in disbelief. "You're telling me Fez knowingly fucked a guy?"
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Jackie shushes her. "He's in the kitchen you amazon, show some discretion" she admonishes. "...and no, he didn't. At least I don't think he did. I'm pretty sure it didn't get that far...at least on Fez's end."
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"And he's okay with it?" she grabs the brunette's arm in confidence.
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"He is" she discloses. "He said if the candy is sweet he will 'eat it' regardless of what it is" she grabs her friend's arm back and squeezes it with shocked amusement.
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"Wow" Donna leans back into the couch, mystified. "I guess Gertrude Stein was right: 'A mouth is a mouth is a mouth'."
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"And candy is candy" Jackie grins in compliance.
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Eric, now sporting a black eye, stands on one of the floating docks at the marina with his duffel bag in hand. Delroy,Wendell and Bowie unrelentingly peer at him with grim expressions, while their mother, Marie, cries hysterically in Delroy's arms.
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"I can't believe you're letting one bad lay run you out of town" he says, shaking his head with dismay.
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"It's not about the girl, man" Eric says, pleading his case. "Not that one, anyway..." he admits, his gaze averted toward the water.
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"He misses his woman" Bowie concludes. "La Bella Donna. You can't reason with a man in love" he shrugs, accepting the disappointing turn of events.
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"I don't know why you're wasting your time chasing after one woman when there are so many lovely ladies out there to choose from" the bald brother scowls.
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"Wendell, you don't choose somebody to love, they choose you, man" Bowie informs him while peering over his dark sunglasses, earning him a 'WTF?' look from his brother.
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"This is all bullshit" Delroy frowns, kicking a rock into the water. "I mean, I wasted all that time training you, only to have you leave us" he pouts as he tightens his grip around his sobbing mother.
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"Who is gonna take care of ya, Eric? You don't have no money" Marie informs him, hoping it will sway his decision to leave.
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Delroy sighs. "Yeah he do" he tells her as he hands his new friend an envelope filled with cash. "It's not gonna get you too far, but it'll get you started."
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Eric presses his lips together, trying hard not to turn into a blubbering mess at this touching show of friendship. "I—I don't know what to say..." he says, gesturing to all of them. I'd probably be dead in a gutter somewhere if you all hadn't taken me in."
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"Hell yeah, you would" Wendell laughs for a moment until he notices the gate open up on his buddy's ship.
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The shaggy-haired man turns to see what's caught his friend's attention. "Oh" his face falls.
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Marie leaves the comfort of her eldest son's embrace and throws her arms tightly around her unoffical foster son. "We're always here if ya need something. You always have a mama in Jamaica."
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One tears manages to escape his eye, which he wipes away quickly. Delroy slaps him on the back and nods his tidings, as he's not one for long goodbyes.
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Wendell grabs the tall boy roughly and lifts him off the ground. "Don't be a stranger, eh?"
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Eric smiles. "Don't you be a stranger. You always have a place to stay with me in New York. Assuming I've found a place to stay, that is." he grimaces comically.
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The bald man points his hand. "I may just take you up on that. I hear the girls in New York know how to show a man a good time..." he wiggles his eyebrows as Delroy smacks him for talking so loose in front of their mom.
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Finally, Eric's attention shifts toward Bowie, serene as usual. "I'm gonna miss you most of all Scarecrow" Eric fake cries as he throws his arms dramatically around Bowie's neck.
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The boys break up laughing as Marie scolds them for ruining the mood.
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Bowie throws an arm over his good friend's shoulders and whispers in his ear. "I hear New York City is expensive" he says as he nudges a small doctor's satchel toward Eric's feet. "In case that envelope doesn't get you very far, this is your backup plan" he grins.
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"What's in that bag, Bowie?" Marie frowns, knowing her sons are usually up to no good.
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"Just some Blue Mountain coffee beans, ma. Thought he might like to take a little bit of Jamaica back with him to the States" he winks at Eric conspiratorially. "What a fi yu, cyaan be un fi yu." [English translation: What is yours will always be yours.]
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Eric smiles knowingly and lifts the satchel.
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Hyde sits behind the desk in his office with his feet up, reviewing some papers while smoking a cigarette laced with pot.
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Since the shooting, he's mostly worked out of the Grooves Live! Offices, headquarters to the subsidiary company that Angie and he started a few years ago. They primarily sponsor and broadcast free live concert series and then sell the videos and cassette recordings under their own record label. It gives fans a chance to hear their favorites in concert without having to search around for a bootleg version.
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In the past two years, they hosted five concert series with increasing success, and for once, Hyde's timing has been spot on. After seeing "The Song Remains the Same" he fell in love with the genre. "The Last Waltz" only made his appetite stronger, and with MTV launching, the public's appetite for live concert footage has been positively voracious.
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Angie knocks on the door, giving him a start. He pulls his legs down and clears his throat. "Yeah?"
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She opens the door and starts coughing. "Jesus Steven, open a window or something!" She walks over to the window, turns the lock and pushes it open.
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He looks at his sister with interest. "Hey. Whaddaya know. I didn't even realize those things worked" he grins.
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She rolls her eyes at him and waves the smoke out of the window with one of his folders. "You're at work, not a hookah lounge" she tuts disapprovingly.
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"One of the benefits of running my own business is that I can run the business from a hookah lounge if it so pleases me" he kicks his feet back up on the desk smugly, to prove a point.
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She raises an eyebrow and shoots him a look that makes the hair on the back of his neck stand up. He casually removes his legs from the desk, like it's his own idea. "Let me remind you that you own 50% of this business, not all. If you want to work in a hookah lounge, you're going to have to walk your little butt down to Kezdie Avenue and go find one."
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His bravado flags. "I was done anyway. Whatever" he grumbles under his breath and he crosses his arms defensively across his chest.
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She perches herself on the edge of her brother's desk and gloats. "Anyway, like, as I was about to say before I was so rudely asphyxiated..."
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Hyde exhales sharply. "Get to the point, killjoy."
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Ignoring him, she continues. "...rumor around the office is that you're trying to work something out with MTV for April."
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"Spring break I Ft. Lauderdale might be fun" he coyly grins.
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She nods her head. "Riiiiight. And this has nothing to do with wanting to see Jackie again" she says sarcastically.
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Hyde leans forward. "Ya know, I completely forgot she worked for MTV" he glowers, almost daring her to call him out.
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Unluckily for him, Angie is no shrinking violet. "Mmm-hmm. Let's pretend for a second that I'm buying this—what do you think is going to happen? She'll take one look at you and run across the beach into your arms while wearing a bikini?"
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He zones out for a moment, imagining this very scenario with a genuine smile on his face.
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"Steven!" his sister calls sharply. "Are you letting your penis make business decisions for you?" she challenges.
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Offended, he stands to overtake her in stature. "I'm not gonna lie and say I haven't thought about the possibility of seeing her again, okay? I'm not an idiot though. This is a good idea and you know it" he bangs his hand on the top of his desk to make a point, sending a few paperclips flying over the edge.
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Angie's face softens. "Look bro, I know how much you love her..."
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He shakes his head. "I never said..."
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She holds her hand up to his face. "Puh-lease" she scoffs. "I'm on board with the idea, it's a good one."
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"It's a great one" he brags.
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"Let's not get ahead of ourselves" she smooths down the sides of her hair. "I'm not objecting to the event, I'm worried about you as a sister" she says earnestly, her tone gentle.
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He looks at her like she has three heads. "Why are you worried about me? I'm cool." He knows he's been busted, but there's no way he's admitting to anything, though it feels nice to have an actual family member care about his well-being for once.
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"You haven't gone out on one date since she left" she reminds him.
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"Yeah? Well maybe I want to focus on my career for once" he snaps. "Besides, all of the women in Chicago look like hookers." he complains, flashing back with a shudder to the actual hooker that he accidentally 'hired' to go down on him.
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"Right, but the women in New York City don't, do they?" she teases.
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His mouth turns down into a scowl. "Are you finished?"
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"I'm good. I just have one question for you—do you want me to come with you to NYC next week the your meeting?" she wonders, batting her eyelashes.
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The corners of his mouth turn up. "You want to go shopping, don't you?"
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"Maybe..." she demurs. "But really I just want to meet Eddie Murphy" she squeals, snapping her fingers in excitement.
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He can't help but smile at her enthusiasm. "All right. Go on then. But I'm not hanging out with you once we get there, because your dorkiness will cramp my style."
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"Oh Steven, I'm sure you've already been told this, but you have no style" she laughs as she walks out of his office.
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As soon as his door shuts, he lights up again and pulls the window shut out of spite.
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The phone rings and he leans over and hits the intercom button. "Yeah?"
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Eric grips the phone nervously in his right hand and the doctor's satchel in his left. "Hey stranger".
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Hyde's eyes grow wide as he picks up the receiver and presses it to his ear. "Forman? Is that you, man?"
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"The one and only" he answers as he draws a heart in the sand with the toe of his shoe. "At least I think...though I guess there could be, like, twelve of us out there and I wouldn't know it" he muses "Though I suppose I could always run into one of them...".
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Hyde moves the receiver from his ear and grimaces at it before placing it back.
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"I'm rambling, right? I'm a little nervous" he admits.
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Hyde laughs. "You should be very nervous, my friend. You have at least four people waiting to string you up like the pig you are when you get back."
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He swallows hard. "Yeah, I know."
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"Where are you, man?" he asks with genuine concern as he leans forward. "Are you okay—I mean, what happened? You had us kind of, um...worried." he cringes as he hears himself talk to his surrogate brother like that, but he figures Forman is soft and might run off again if he thinks everybody hates him.
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"I'm in Miami" he says as he tries to adjust his Panama hat, which he almost knocks off with the phone. "I'm okay, if you don't include the nervous breakdown" he assures his friend. "What about you, Hyde? You were shot! I mean...I can't believe you were fucking shot!" he screams into the phone. "That would be so cool if it weren't for the whole almost dying thing."
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"Yeah, that part kind of sucked, but hey, I'll always have the scar to show off to the ladies" Hyde remarks as he rubs his hand over the scar on his hip. "I'm still limping, but I gave up the crutch two weeks ago. That thing was the fucking devil" he grouses, toking once more.
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"I thought the devil was a 5'2" hot chick with a quick temper and a mean shin-kick" he jokes. "I miss her" he says seriously as his green eyes soften to a pale jade. "She probably wants to kill me too, huh?" he wonders, knowing this is as close to asking about Donna as he has the right to do.
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If he can find out about Jackie, he can get to Donna somehow. He's dying to know what she's doing, and the best source of that intel is most likely his little padawan.
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Hyde bristles at his friend's use of the word hot to describe his woman...well, the woman he wishes were his woman. Fuck. "I think her desire to kill you has been usurped by her desire to kill me, so you can rest easy, my friend." he sighs and takes a drag off the spliff.
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Eric shakes his head in anger. "What did you do to her, man?" he barks angrily, remembering the unbelievable mess she was when they left Point Place together a few years ago.
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"How do you know I did anything? How do you know she's not just freaking out over nothing like she exists to do?" he questions, trying to bluff his way through this confrontation. He has enough to deal with having Jackie and Donna pissed at him, he doesn't feel the need to explain himself to the 'grand deserter'.
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"Because you're you, and you're apparently allergic to being nice to her or something" he accuses sharply, before changing his tone. "Look man, I don't want to argue with you, I'm sorry. I don't have too many coins left and I'm worried this call's going to cut out soon" he looks over his shoulder, worried that he's being cased by a thief. "Look, I need to get out of here. Can you help?"
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"Where are you trying to get to?" he asks.
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"Is Donna in New York?" he responds.
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There's a pregnant pause. "Yeah, she's there. Living with Fez and Jackie."
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Eric furrows his brow, certain that he's just imagined that. "I'm sorry—what?"
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"They all live together. The three of them made up in a gang bang of kumbaya and now they're shacking up together in the big city" he informs him, with a definite edge to his voice.
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"...o-kay" the skinny man breathes as he processes this new data. "I'd like to go to New York then. I don't have the money now, but I should be able to pay you back really soon" he promises, while rubbing the side of the satchel with the palm of his hand.
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"I was supposed to be heading out there myself next week, but I'm thinking I'd like to check out the clubs there beforehand. Wanna meet me?" he grins, happy to have his friend back. "You can crash at my hotel" he offers.
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"Are you inviting me to a sleepover?" he coos jokingly, causing Hyde to roll his eyes hard. "Seriously though man, you have no idea how badly I want to meet up with you" Eric says, getting choked up at the idea of seeing all of his friends again.
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Hyde wrinkles his nose. "All right, settle down Erica. I'm just asking you to meet with me, not marry me" he cracks, taking a hit off the roach.
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"Are you saying I'm ugly?" Eric laughs heartily.
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The Zenmaster loses his composure and joins his buddy in a chuckle. "Only when you're in a dress, man, so leave that shit at the airport. I'll put a ticket under your name at MIA."
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"Hey wait—um, I was thinking it might be more scenic to take the train up" he suggests, overtly sketchy in his request. "No bag screening and such."
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Hyde raises an eyebrow. "What are you importing, Eric Forman?"
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"Just a little Jamaican Blue Mountain, man" he tells him apprehensively. "You'll see."
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'Yes I will' his friend thinks to himself. He flinches as his joint burns his fingertips and flicks the remnants of its ashes into the ether.
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A/N – I came up with a fun idea to turn this fic on it's head for the next fic. It wouldn't be a part of this trilogy, but it would be almost an inverse of this particular story. Sound interesting?
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Thanks SO much to all of you who have been leaving reviews (PLEASE CONTINUE - they seriously make my day!). I'm really flattered at how anxious everybody is to read the next chapter. I'll try to make it a saucy one!