A/N: Muahaha, chapter twenty! The big 2-0! Wow…this is pretty darn cool. (snaps fingers) Eliwood, give some cookies to the wonderful readers out there! While he's busy doing that, I have a question for you…is there a limit on the number of chapters a fanfic can have?

CHAPTER TWENTY—QUIXOTIC

"A Noble Quest?" Canas asked excitedly. "Splendid! What for?"

"There's an annoying Announcer Dude," Paco Van Vaulkenburg reported. "We can't figure out where he's coming from or who he is."

"But he won't shut up!" wailed Della. Paco nodded.

"So that's why we have to find him!"

"Indeed," said Canas. "Let's be off right away, then!"

"I love magic-users," Della sighed happily. "It's always 'question this, question that, who what how why'…but when it comes to learning, it's like 'oh! Let's just randomly plunge into any dangerous adventure without knowing what's going on'!"

"Quite," said Pent, popping up next to them with Louise at his side. They were both dripping wet, Pent having whooshed them into a duck pond earlier.

"You all are coming along?" Canas asked, mounting Hubert. "Splendid!"

Paco frowned, worried. "But…there's no way that Hubert can carry five people. He shouldn't even be able to carry three!"

"All things are possible when you play a flute, young padowan," Della told him. She looked to Louise and Pent. "Still…I don't think Hubert would like to carry five people around."

"And I can't whoosh Louise and I to wherever we're Questing to," said Pent, very disappointed. "What fun would that be?"

Della grinned. "Aha! If I do recall…Vaida isn't using her wyvern right now."

"Wonderful!" cried Pent. "I've always wanted to ride a wyvern!"

"Now how to catch it…" Canas wondered aloud.

Della chuckled. "You don't catch it…you call it!" She turned her voice to the sky and hollered, "UMBRION!"

Vaida's wyvern instantly swooped down and landed beside Pent and Louise with a rush of wind. Paco just stared at Della a moment, deep in thought.

"Wut up, dragon boy?" she asked.

"Oh, nothing…it's just…that wyvern's name. I was expecting something…more."

"Like Umbrion Foggy Skootaloopindrome?"

Paco's eyes widened. "Yeah. That's right."

"Sorry." Della shrugged. "It's just plain old 'Umbrion'."

Heath sneezed.

"Ouch. Someone dissed you," Raven reported, his arm in a sling from the Lucius Attack that happened a bit ago.

"No…" Heath mused. "It was not a diss…but…I do feel as if I'm being mocked somehow…"

"It is now time to engage in battle," said Athos gravely.

"Alright," said Eliwood. He peered nervously around the doorpost at the room of rabid fangirls. "Normally I would be much too gentle to consent to this…but desperate times call for desperate measures."

"All fighting is desperate," said Athos regretfully. "But now is not the time to worry about things. Now is the time….TO BATTLE!"

And with that cry echoing awesomely around, the archsage ran into the room and started Forblazing every fangirl in sight. One got Forblazed right in the face, melting all her make-up and singing her blonde hair.

Boom! said the Mysterious Announcer Dude. HEADSHOT.

The voice echoed around and Eliwood looked up at the ceiling, wondering where it was coming from and why everything was suddenly echoing and moving in slow motion. Athos continued to engage the fangirls in fierce and unequal combat, and the Announcer Dude commentated on every one he obliterated.

Kill. Double kill—triple kil—mega ki—Mo-mo-mo-MONSTER KILL (kill, kill, kill…)

Suddenly Athos's Forblaze broke. While he rummaged through his pockets for his Aureola, an especially fierce girl rushed him and tried to tackle him. Athos merely pushed her away with his huge hand (have you realized how much bigger his battle animation character is than everyone else's?).

You were BEAT DOWN by Athos (Athos, Athos, Athos…).

Athos found the Aureola.

You were killed by Athos (Athos, Athos…). You were assassinated by Athos (Athos, Athos…)

Jaffar said nothing.

"Yeah…I hear it too," said Matthew. "That stupid annoying jerk is taking my commentating job! He shall burn in the fires from which he crawled—oh Elimine, my arm…"The charred and dirtythief tried to get to his feet but failed. Legault lay unconscious a few feet away.

Jaffar stood up as if he hadn't just been blown up and said nothing.

"It's okay," Nino told him, also miraculously unhurt as she slipped her hand into his. "We won't let Athos get away with taking your job, either."

THUS FAR!

Kent went outside to go find his horse since Ninian burped it up. He had looked practically everywhere but had yet to find it. However, he had seen quite a lot of fire coming from the castle and heard the Announcer Dude talking. He also saw a Wyvern and a Pegasus flying through the sky and gave a start as he remembered the Pegs/Wyverns war…until he remembered that the good monk Lucius had ended it and fellows of wing and phylum Chordata could fly together once more.

And then Chivalry galloped up behind him, grabbed the collar of his shirt in her teeth, and slung him onto her back.

"Chivalry!" he cried happily, hugging her around the neck. "Finally, I can be a real cavalier again!"

"So, what are you going to do next, Kent?" Sain asked cheerfully, galloping up beside his partner.

"I'm going to Disneyland!"

Sain rolled his eyes. "After that."

"Ah. Well…I'm going to ask Dorcas if I might borrow his axe. You and I are overdue for another game of Swords Lances Axes."

Sain wailed as his partner cantered off in search of Dorcas.

"Umm…how's it coming in there?" Eliwood asked hesitantly, peering into the room of Athos and fangirls. Athos stood in the center, blowing "headshots" left and right, yet somehow the girls kept coming.

"There are too many," the archsage said wearily.

Your mom's too many (many, many…)

"That made no sense!" the fangirls shrieked, turning their noses up in disgust. Athos took advantage of that to send another blast of light their way.

You were assassinated by Athos (Athos, Athos…)

"I hear the voice!" Della cried.

"That's it!" agreed Paco.

"But where is it coming from?" asked Canas.

Pent pointed. "There! To the Random Castle in the Middle of Nowhere Where Every Character Seems to Be!"

Just when all seemed lost for Athos and Eliwood was about to risk his own life and leap into the fray to aid his friend (because he's so dang chivalrous)…a Pegasus crashed through the window! It was immediately followed by a Wyvern, and the two steeds dumped off their riders. The fangirls gulped. The awesome prowess of Pent, Canas, and Louise were bad enough…but the tactician and the dragon boy were grinning quite evilly and holding a football, a snake, and a very violent video game.

Thus began another epic battle…if you can call five Quixotic characters chasing after a stampede of fangirls retreating in a panic a "battle".

"Finally," said Athos, deeming it safe to drop to the ground.

"NOOOOOoooooo!" screamed Eliwood. "Athos!"

"I am not dying, Son of Roland."

"……..Oh."

"Anyway!" said Pent, looking up at the ceiling. "Now, you Announcer, or whoever you are…reveal yourself!"

Never (never, never…)!

"And stop with the echoing," Della added, rolling her eyes.

Oh, fine. But I still shall not tell you who I am! MUAHAHAHAHA!"

Della gasped. "Oh no…the Evil Laugh! Besides Nergal, I know only one other who is capable of so evilly laughing the Evil Laugh. He's mysterious…he's sinister…he's formidable…"

"Ephidel?" Paco guessed.

Della laughed. "Heck, no! It's…"

Just then, Louise pulled back the green curtain concealing a corner of the room that no one else had previously noticed since none of them had the common sense of a woman (or in Della's case, no common sense at all) revealing…Karel.

"Umm…pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!" he said nervously.

Della groaned with exasperation. "What, are you the Wizard of Oz now?"

"Ah," Canas realized aloud, "This is what all the 'blame Karel' fuss is about."

Pent moved over and held Karel's hands behind his back. "Goodness me…it seems as if he'll have to get locked up again. Louise and I will deliver him to Oswin and Wallace, shall we?"

Pent whooshed the three of them away and Athos left, leaving Eliwood, Paco, and Della alone.

"Huzzah," the tactician said cheerfully, putting her hands on her hips. "So, what do we do now, Paco?"

The dragon boy looked towards the door very fearfully. "Now we get that Aureola away from Ninian."

Sure enough, Ninian stood in the doorway, watching her brother as her grip tightened on the powerful spellbook. "Hello, Nils."

"My name is Paco van Vaulkenburg!" he whimpered, hiding behind Eliwood. "Please please please don't blow me up!"

"Don't do it, Ninian!" Della pleaded. "You don't know how to use that thing…you could kill us all!"

Ninian looked at her brother again, uncharacteristically malicious towards him and him alone—something all big sisters are good at. "Give me one reason why I shouldn't try."

"I have a reason!" Eliwood volunteered, but everyone ignored him.

"Umm…without me, Nino would have to be the tactician!"

Raven's scream wafted through the window.

Eliwood tried again. "Everyone, I have a—"

"Ooh!" Della said suddenly. "And Lyn would have to take Eliwood's place and wear…guy clothes!"

Sain and Kent were also heard screaming.

Eliwood began jumping up and down in a "hey everybody look at me" kind of way. Still, nobody seemed to see him. "Ninian, I don't care if you're a dragon—"

"And flute players are too cool to die!" Della added tearfully. "It would throw the world into a fiery apocalypse! And then…there would never be another story written where the main character is overshadowed!"

Ninian dropped the Aureola. Nils cheered. Eliwood continued to wave his arms around…but since the world didn't die, there was room for a story where the main character got overshadowed.

THUS FAR!

Ninian and Eliwood eventually ended up as an "item" again, Paco changed his name back to Nils, Oswin and Wallace gave up badminton and decided to try horse shoes instead, Kent—needless to say—did not let the two generals get even remotely close to Chivalry because of that, and…the Dave Matthew's Band finally decided to go on tour.

"How long will you be gone?" Erk asked Nino.

She grinned cheerfully. "Oh, I don't know. The laws of physics usually don't apply to anything, so it's hard to say! Not too terribly long, though."

"What will we ever do without the band?" Lowen asked sadly. "We'll get bored!"

Della put a hand on his shoulder and grinned evilly. "Why, my dear Lowen, you all know better than to let me get bored. If I do, then Red vs. Blue and Star Wars parody would ensue!"

"Hmm…" said Marcus skeptically. "I am not quite excited about the future, now…"

"Hear no evil," Lucius scolded, albeit happily.

A/N: Hmm...yeah,I guess this wasn't a very funny chapter, especially if you've never played Halo 2. MayhapI'm learning too much...I did say "phylum chordata" somewhere in thischapter...AAAHHH!

And now for the random miscellaneous references I made…Pent and Louise in the beginning being "whooshed into a duck pond" was a reiteration of words spoken by Tasslehoff Burrfoot…whom I adore :-P. Secondly…yup yup yup, I did pull the name Foggy Skootaloopindrome out of thin air (no cookies this time…it was Easter candy). Thirdly…I'm sure everyone in the entire world who has ever played Halo 2 knows what I was trying to do with Athos's battle scene :-D…fourthly and lastly: this chapter's title, the term "quixotic characters", and the line about "fierce and unequal combat" all come from the awesome book Don Quixote, which I am reading for a book project. Perhaps it is just me and my whacked-out sense of humor, but I think that book is SO hilarious! I love Don Quixote, and if you like to go jousting windmills, then you should read it too. So anyway…yeah. (grins) Hopefully I'll have the next chapter up relatively soon.