Another weird chapter takes place a few weeks after Lucas found the journals. I've had a lot of this chapter written before I dropped my laptop and the battery fell out (computers fine it just ate the chapter).

=Lucas=

Ever since I found those journals I've been having trouble getting the courage and being able to go through confronting them on it. I remember when Sadie and I were little she had a really bad nightmare and it scared both of us. She told us vegly that her babysitter hurt her. I haven't thought that much about it until I found those journals. He didn't just hurt her he raped her not just once but many times. I don't know for how long or how he kept her so quiet about it. I don't know how a grown man can do such things to a eight year old.

It was a scream that woke me up. It didn't last and the house was silent once again I got up to check on them. I had a feeling it was nothing to worry about though. "Shhh, it's ok breath. This was a pretty bad one huh. You were do for one, I mean you haven't had one in over a month." I hear my mom say softly. I hear my Mami sobbing and Mom starts to hum a tune to a song she made up when I was little. The sobbing stifles.

Now is a better time than any. Sadie and Charlie were staying with Opa and Oma (German word for grandpa and grandma) for the weekend. Sadie was building a bird house with Opa and Oma was teaching Charlie how to make her berry pie. I had practices and games all weekend. Today would be a good day to try again. Even-though it's late I finally got my stuff together, I raise my hand to the door to knock. I try to knock but I knew it was a bad time. They were both here and my little brother and sister weren't. They are too little and innocent to understand why Mami is so afraid of a ghost.

"Mama, can I come in. I need to talk to you guys about something."

"One moment." Mom says. I hear russling and my Mami whimper. "Ok come in baby." I see my Mami with blood shot eyes holding on to my mother tightly the shirt she was wearing was inside out and she had on my moms little dancing shorts. My mom however seemed very serious in a large t shirt and pj bottoms, which was very unnerving considering her normal carefree nature. "We've been meaning to talk to you too we just can't talk to your brother or sister yet. First tell us what you wanted to talk about."

I took a deep breath and hoped I wouldn't get in trouble for snooping though their things. Rethinking it I'm lucky I didn't find things I didn't want to think about my moms doing. "I was looking for some Ibprohan the other day and I saw your prescriptions. I also found the dream journals." My Mami buries her face into my Moms shoulder crying softly.

"We've been meaning to talk to you about that. We don't want you to be startled if one of us have a break down, so tell us what all you know and we will fill in the blanks and answer whatever questions."

I am still surprised that my mom was taking charge when Mami usually is more forward and mature. However the way she is now reminds me of Charlie when he wasn't invited to a slumber party because he's a boy, he cried for hours on how he doesn't fit in anywhere because he's so flamboyant but is atomically a boy. He was wishing he was a girl. I knew he was sobbing though, I'm sure she had a nightmare.

An hour later I'm tossing a base ball in the air wondering what had gone wrong. Mom heard voices and saw things that would tell her to kill or follow an imaginary cat. I didn't know what to make of Mami. Both my parents and most of their friends were in a mental insitution instead of high school. I step out of my room and hear talking outside their bedroom.

"I don't know if we should have told him, I don't think he was ready." My Mami says.

"Would you rather him kick in our door when you have a nightmare and hit the first figure he sees with a bat?" Mom says.

"I guess your right. I feel so damaged and worthless, he probably thinks so too.."

"Don't start that you and I both know your priceless, the kids know that too. Don't let him get in your head like that." I then hear a giggle and continue to the kitchen before I hear the equally as scaring sounds of my parent's lovemaking (I assume). I don't understand why Carson and Stan think it's hot. Sure both my parents are attractive for women in their late thirties but they were still my moms. I stopped inviting Stan sleep over because he turns into such a peeping Tom. Makes me want to punch him out. I knew it was normal hell I probably would be guilty of it if the roles were reversed but it's still irritating.

I had often wondered why my Mami didn't give birth to either of us when Mama had so many issues. Charlie and I both were rough pregnancies, I was premature, Charlie had breathing issues and Mom lost a ton of blood both were in the hospital for almost a week. She was there longer. When I was little I used to think it was because Mami was more of the 'dad' but as I got older I stopped labeling them. Now I knew it was because of that past that she can't. I didn't know that Mom had a miscarriage about half a year before they adopted Sadie. I remember briefly staying with my grandparents for a couple weeks. I just thought it was just because they wanted 'grown up' time what ever I thought it was at the time. I can go on forever with the signs and incidents that tells me this isn't a joke, that I'm not dreaming or making something out of things that aren't there. I knew there were bad people out there. I knew that my mothers have taken many defense classes, that they both carried tasers they even taught the three of us how to use them. I just didn't know that it had already happened to them. I don't know if I'd rather not have known but I can't forget it now.

AN: Review and tell me what you would like to see and when cause I'm scattered brained. Like I said before this story has no end... Now I haven't updated much because I finally got my computer updated so I've been playing the Sims 3(Brittany is going to get her very own unicorn. and with cheats she and Santana can have children without having to adopt...I'm just having too much fun with it.) I have ideas some developed, some just an idea, some have been scratched but might comeback if I can make it work(example of an scratched idea is Sadie having an eating disorder around 13) If you can read the hint to the most thought out idea, it's in this chapter.