The Unfortunate Misadventures of a Willing Hostage

by Nekogigi

Yukino is your above average medical ninja working under the employment of the Akatsuki as their new medical specialist, however, life in a notorious criminal organisation isn't what people believe it to be. Join Yuki as she attempts to stay at least half sane among all the crazyness that is the Akatsuki in this random and cractastic story. Rated M just in case

20. Chapter 20

The Unfortunate Misadventures of a Willing Hostage.

Chapter 20

Journal Entry: 15. Nov 3

Dear Diary,

Kakuzu's on a winning streak.

He and Hidan went gambling at a nearby casino last night, they called the house at around 1am this morning and asked Kisame to bring them a wheelbarrow because the money Kakuzu won was too much for him and his partner to carry on their own.

This morning a delivery guy shows up looking for Gruncle Kuzu. Turns out he entered a competition and won himself a truck load of Bargain Dash Ice-cream. It's a little grainy and the flavours are weird (I mean who likes honey-liver pate or toffee-broccoli fudge? The citrus-carrot mint supreme is nice though) but we've all been pigging out on the stuff because our freezers aren't large enough to hold all the frozen 'treats'.

After a while, Hidan got bored and instead of eating the stuff, he rubbed it all over his godlike body and ran around the back yard attracting bees. The sadomasochist is writhing in pleasure from all the bee stings and I have a petri dish full of stingers I intend on using for something… eventually, a booby trap perhaps?

I think the winning streak has something to do with the ever present trans-dimensional rift in the sky above our house. Oddly enough, it has no effect on lottery tickets.

Zetsu's finally back home. Konan found him wondering around aimlessly in Ivy Gorge, you know the vast canyon on the outskirts of the village that's over run by (non-humanoid) aloe vera plants. He had this dazed expression and a severed human hand clutched to his chest, all the while muttering the same thing over and over again. "Hegemone, ALL HAIL HEGEMONE!" According to extensive research done by Sasori and myself (although mr Sass complained that I was wasting his precious time, but what else does he have to do besides piss Deidara off with his horrendous art hmm?), Hegemone was the Greek goddess of plants, specifically making them bloom and bear fruit as they were supposed to. It's also the name given to one of Jupiter's moons. It's plausible that Zetsu may have encountered this deity, old newspaper articles report tired travellers who pass through the area often stumble across a mysterious woman dressed in green emerging from the ground in a giant aloe vera offering them fruit and water before she disappears again. Apparently she wishes them no harm Aww how sweet, Mr Monochrome found himself a girlfriend.

A/N: See readers, this fic isn't just about crack. You can learn cool things about ancient Greek mythology and astronomy too. Now whenever you wanna sound intelligent you can tell people "I know about the nature goddess Hegemone, and you don't weh weh weh."