DISCLAIMER: No copyright infringement intended. All publicly owned characters and/or plot do not belong to me. I'm just playing with them. Willow Jamison/Cavanaugh is mine.

CHAPTER 20

Much to Ward's frustration, he and Hunter had been sent out shortly after Coulson called Willow to his office to retrieve another piece of alien technology that they'd finally located. It had been a relatively straight forward mission, in and out in less than four hours, but he was desperate to get back to the BUS to make sure Willow was alright. Bobbi had promised to keep an eye on her and referee between her and Skye, but he needed to be there. Willow said she'd find him after she saw Simmons, and he hadn't been there for her-again.

He took a quick shower when they arrived back—the BUS was quiet. Everyone was in their bunks for the evening—well most everyone. He'd grown used to finding Willow's bunk empty—usually when he needed to see her the most. He knew there was no way she could be in the gym with her injuries, so he checked the kitchen before he finally found her on the large black sofa in the lounge area with the TV on low volume.

"Can't sleep?" He asked softly, as not to scare her, and moved to sit down beside her. She had dark shadows under her eyes, most likely from crying. She shrugged in indifference, and his brows knit in concern. He was used to seeing her strong and capable—ready to take on the world—but she looked so broken. It pained him. "Simmons mentioned you refused the sleeping meds…"

"Of course she did." She said hoarsely, but managed a tiny look of defiance.

"She was only looking out for you. Your body needs rest."

"I'm fine. I don't need drugs." She looked away and he could tell she was fighting back tears. He gently took her hand in his, twining their fingers together and she didn't resist to his relief.

"I know what it's like to be afraid to close your eyes." Ward whispered. "I know what it's like when real life is bad enough, but the nightmares are worse…"

She slowly turned to face him, knowing he was being sincere after she'd experienced the aftermath of his night time demons firsthand. That morning she'd been so frustrated and angry at him, but then she'd lost her brother and all she'd wanted was Ward—and then he'd gone and admitted he had feelings for her and now she was a complete train wreck of emotions—unable to deal with any of them.

"I'm so…tired." Her voice was barely audible. "He takes everything from me. He always takes…..everything." Her body trembled as she looked up at him. "And in my dreams…he even takes you."

"Hey…no." He reached out, cupping her face in his hands, the pads of his thumbs brushing away her stray tears. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

She nodded, but he could tell she didn't believe it.

"C'mere. Let me hold you tonight like—like you did for me." He leaned back on the large couch and made room for her next to him. She carefully moved, trying not to agitate her painfully screaming ribs, and nestled her way into his side. He pulled down the plush throw from the back of the sofa, draping it over them.

"What if someone sees us like this…" She murmured, settling her face against his chest as a pillow, her tired eyes already beginning to droop.

"We'll deal with that in the morning. Right now, all I care about is you resting…." His fingers threaded through her dark hair, tenderly brushing it away from her face.

"Ward…"

"Hmm….."

"I'm glad you're here with me." Her breathing slowed and her body finally began to relax.

"I am too."

He watched her drift off to sleep, wondering how he'd been lucky enough to have this woman in his arms, let alone cross his path. He knew though, that all good things come to an end—that happiness was only fleeting and sooner or later something would inevitably happen. He just wanted to enjoy her while he had her, and keep her safe as long as he could—even if he wasn't allowed to have a happily ever after, he would do everything possible to give her one.

"How can you not think this is a bad idea?" Agent May whispered, as Coulson quietly picked up the TV remote and shut it off. "This could make things really complicated out in the field…"

"On the contrary—I just have this gut feeling it's all going to play out the way it's supposed to in the end." Coulson grinned.

"You're such a softy Phil." May rolled her eyes.

"One of us has to be." He winked to his most trusted agent as they left the specialist and trainee sleeping soundly in each other's arms.

The team arrived in Salem, Oregon at a discreet location of one of the many S.H.I.E.L.D. safe houses around the world. May and Bobbi had been in charge of keeping Skye busy, while Ward was on Willow babysitting duty. Coulson hadn't wanted the women near each other until he could be sure they wouldn't attempt to gouge each other's eyeballs out—but that hadn't stopped the pair from glaring and staring each other down from across the quinjet.

Willow was mildly impressed by their temporary home—the accommodations including a tiny kitchen, one bathroom and only four bedrooms for the nine of them that had made the trip. Skye opted for the couch, despite Coulson's insistence that she take the spot with May. Willow wasn't exactly happy about it either seeing as how that complicated her escape plan for later that night. Now she would not only have to get out of a room with the overprotective specialist, but she'd have to tiptoe past Skye in the living area to sneak out. She thought about begging Simmons to let her bunk with her, forcing Fitz and Ward to share a room—but that would draw a lot more attention to herself than she desired. She'd make due, even though she knew Ward was going to be royally pissed. The way she saw it though, she didn't have a choice. She needed to get to her childhood home and find some real answers—answers that could ease the questions that haunted her even in her waking moments these days.

If she had calculated correctly, it was about a two hour drive to her old home from their safe house location, per the conversation she'd eavesdropped on between Mack and Coulson. Guiltily, she'd slipped away while everyone was eating breakfast and made arrangements for a rental car to be left for her at a local garage. It would be about a ten minute sprint on a good day, and she had taken account for the darkness she'd be travelling in. When she'd stepped in the room she and Ward would be sharing, she breathed a sigh of relief, noting the two twin beds on opposite sides of the room. She couldn't deny that her heart and brain were waring with each other. Her heart wanted nothing more than to lay next to him where she felt safe and comforted, but her brain knew it would be a whole lot easier to get out of the room later if they had separate sleeping spaces. She slipped her packed bag under the bed and waited anxiously until nightfall, unwilling to go visit with the others. Call it stubborn, but she wanted nothing to do with Skye. She could barely tolerate knowing she was in the same building, so she only vacated her bed to eat and pee.

"Hey you." The door shut softly as Willow looked up to find Ward changed into his flannel pants and dark t-shirt. "You've been really quiet today. You holding up okay?" He sat at the foot of her bed and she sat the book she was reading down on the nightstand, smiling at him.

"Yeah…it's just weird being back here, so close to where I grew up." She leaned forward to sit up toward him, her eyes staring at her folded hands in her lap. Ward reached out and gently pulled her hand into his own, tracing soft patterns over her skin giving her goosebumps.

"You don't have to go to that lab tomorrow, you know? If it's too painful, Coulson will understand."

She tried to control her breathing as she glanced up at him, knowing he was like a human lie detector—and he'd already established that she sucked at dishonesty.

"I'll be fine. I think I just need some rest is all. We both know I haven't been sleeping the greatest." She replied smoothly.

"Then let's get you to bed. I think everyone else was just about to crash too since we are supposed to be on site at 0600. I hate that these beds are so far apart. I could push them together if—"

"NO!" She blurted out far too quickly. He glanced downward and she was sure by the look on his face that she'd hurt his feelings, or that he was onto her. "I mean, it's not that I don't want that." She reached up to tip his chin up to look her in the eyes. "I do want that. But maybe here in this strange place isn't the right time. I'm already on edge and I don't want to worry about what everyone is assuming out there. Does that make sense?"

"You're absolutely right. I'm supposed to be the one keeping this whole mess in check, not instigating." He nodded, looking away toward the window, but she cupped his cheek in her hand pulling him back toward her face and kissed him.

They both sat there in silence, eyes closed for what felt like an eternity. When Willow was finally brave enough to open her eyes, she was met with Ward grinning like a Cheshire cat, and she couldn't help it. She burst out laughing and so did he.

"Now that we have made it clear that we are a complete and utter disaster, we should get some sleep." She smirked, the weight in her stomach creeping up to her throat. Would he hate her come morning? She'd briefly thought of asking him to come with her, but that would put him and his seniority at risk—and he would do it without question. She wouldn't put him in that kind of situation.

"Your eyes betray you." He spoke softly, and her heart momentarily stopped. "I can always tell when your mind is full of worry. I'm going to be with you every step of the way tomorrow. I promise."

She swallowed back her guilt as he leaned in and pressed the most tender of kisses against her forehead before standing up and moving to his bed for the night. He shut off the lamp.

"Goodnight Ward." She whispered to the darkness.

"Goodnight Willow."

It was around 1 a.m. when Willow finally felt it was safe. She slipped out from under her blankets, careful not to make a sound as she gripped her pack from under the bed and pulled it out. She could hear Ward stirring in the dark and she held her own breath as she waited for his breathing to even back out. She desperately wanted to kiss his cheek goodbye, but that was completely out of the question.

After she made it out of their room, she worked her way down the hall and to the living area where Skye was buried under the blankets asleep on the dark gray sofa. She quickly entered the code she'd memorized Coulson using earlier in the day and the front door unlocked with a loud click. She glanced over her shoulder in panic, checking to see if it woke up the hacker. Surprisingly, the mound of blankets didn't budge and she was filled with relief. Willow walked out the front door and took off down the long, tree shaded street. After she'd gone about a quarter of a mile, she stepped off the road to change out of her pajamas. She hurriedly shed her night attire, opened her pack and yanked her S.H.I.E.L.D. gear out and pulled it on, trading her slippers for her boots. The air was crisp, so she grabbed her stocking cap, replaced the pack on her back and took off running.

Twice she had stopped along the way, feeling as though she was being followed—but no one was there when she shined her flashlight through the trees. As she came upon the black SUV, she reached beneath the trunk space feeling for the key that was supposed to be there.

"Looking for these, Rookie?" Came an all too familiar voice. Rolling her eyes, she stood to meet the menacing face of Skye, who seemed to be quite proud of herself.

"What do you want?" Willow took a deep breath, squaring her shoulders—preparing for round two.

"Not gonna ask how I knew you'd be here?"

"Don't care." She snarked, even though she was now kicking herself for assuming there had actually been a person under that ridiculous pile of blankets. No wonder Skye had wanted to sleep in the living room. Lesson learned, she thought to herself in agitation.

"I want to know what you're hiding. Everyone is so blinded by their new S.H.I.E.L.D. puppy—they can't see that you're trouble." Skye taunted.

"Unfortunately, I don't have time to stick around and confirm all the ways you're a complete and total whack job—so either give me the keys, or do something about it, Quake."

"Where exactly do you think you'll go? You can't hide." Skye stated in annoyance.

"I'm not running anywhere. I'm looking for answers Skye." Willow snapped. "Maybe if you pulled your head out of your ass for five seconds, you'd see you aren't the only one with questions. Now if you'll excuse me…" Willow snatched the keys from Skye's hand with unexpected ease. "I have a date with the truth."

She brushed past Skye, opening the driver side door.

"Like hell you do! Ward would kill me if I let you go alone with the mission experience of a toddler!" Skye moved to the passenger door that was conveniently unlocked.

"Excuse me?!" Willow's head snapped toward the offending woman.

"You heard me. Not happening."

"No. What I heard was an ex-agent with zero authority over me, pretending like she gives a crap about anyone but herself! YOU left them Skye! And now you come back after their hearts started to mend—and the only thing you can think about is turning them against me, no matter what the cost! I never wanted to BE your replacement—believe me! But don't hate me for trying to fix what you broke!"

Willow climbed in the driver's seat, her cheeks crimson from anger. She stared forward, inhaling and exhaling her rage. Skye stood still, and just when Willow thought she'd be free of the obnoxious ex-agent, Skye sat down in the passenger seat, buckling herself in wordlessly.

"What do you think you're doing?" Willow questioned, incredulously.

"I'm coming with you."

"Uh….no. You're not."

"Look…we don't like each other. Fine. But nobody is better at finding answers than me. Like it or not, I'm coming with you." Skye replied, some of her snarky tone dissipating. Willow stared at her stupidly, unsure what was happening. After a long silence, Willow put the key in the ignition and peeled out into the looming night.

"So where exactly are we going?" Skye finally spoke after an hour of driving in awkward silence.

"My childhood home."

The tension between the women was so high you could literally slice it with a knife.

"Look, I didn't…..I didn't want to leave them, okay? I was confused and scared and didn't know how to control my new powers and I felt so helpless. When I found the Afterlife, things just seemed right. They were able to help me in ways the team couldn't and….whatever. I don't know why I'm trying to explain any of this to you but….I love those guys. I would never, ever hurt them on purpose. So don't get that twisted."

Skye stared straight ahead, chewing on the inside of her cheek and Willow said nothing. She didn't have it in her to be kind after the nasty things she had said about her parents. Willow believed in forgiveness, but right now, she found herself believing in grudges more.

They finally pulled onto the long, narrow drive leading up to the house. The road was nearly overgrown with weeds and there was no porch light to greet them like she remembered from so long ago. The surrounding woods didn't look inviting like they had back when she and Liam used to play hide and seek for hours on end, and instead they looked deathly eerie.

She parked the car and stared at the decrepit two story house for a long while before grabbing her flashlight. Skye did the same and they made their way to the front porch. The door was old and splintered, and the paint chipped from years of lack of inhabitance. Willow habitually flicked the light switch even though she knew they wouldn't come one. A pang of guilt washed over her, wishing that maybe she'd have come back sooner—that maybe she could have salvaged what little was left of her real life—but she knew she couldn't have. Even now, the pain was just too raw. She carefully stepped through the entryway, her fingers tracing lightly over the dusty wooden table with the ugly red bowl sitting atop it. She'd watched her mother toss her keys in it a thousand times. She could still hear the twinkling sound they made when they hit the glass.

Willow squeezed her eyes shut, desperate not to break down already.

"You…um…gonna be okay?" Skye questioned awkwardly, a hint of misplaced care in her voice.

"I'll be fine." Willow swallowed. "Let's just find what we came here for."

The pair looked for what felt like hours, and maybe it had been as the sun was slowly beginning to rise and the house became a little lighter. Willow was giving up hope.

"There's nothing here. How can there be nothing?" She slumped down into the dusty old sofa, defeated.

"Maybe because I'm right and they really were Hydra moles and they kept their crap in an evil lair with all their other rotten lab equipment…." Skye muttered.

Willow's glare was murderous.

"Ok fine. Whatever. But clearly we aren't going to find what you think you need here."

"Oh, and here I thought you could find answers better than anyone….." Willow huffed out sarcastically, slowly rising back up to her feet.

"I can but—" As Skye absentmindedly ran her pointer finger over the dust on the frame of the large family portrait in the living area, there was a "pop" sound and the picture opened up from the wall. Willow's eyes widened in shock. "Like I was saying…."

"Luck does not make you the best…" Willow grumbled, staring at a safe that apparently had some sort of retinal scanner on it. She looked at Skye.

"Oh no….that is allllll you. I like my eyeballs just as they are, thanks."

Willow rolled her eyes and carefully stood on her tiptoes, lining her face up with the scanner. She held her breath, figuring it probably wouldn't work, but gave it a try anyway. It flashed a red light and nothing happened. She stepped back in frustration. "Another dead end."

"Well…at least it didn't blow up or something." Skye shrugged.

"Ughhhhh! There has to be—" Willow was interrupted by a loud automated voice.

"Welcome home Willow Grayce Cavanaugh."

The lock on the large safe began to move and the door opened. Willow's heart was racing so fast she felt like she could pass out. She timidly reached inside and pulled out a single, black flash drive with her name on the top written on an old yellow sticky note. She vaguely registered Skye mumbling that she'd go and get her laptop from her pack in the car, as she eyed the tiny piece of plastic with trembling hands. What was on it? Now that she had it, she was almost too afraid to know. Knowledge wasn't always a good thing, she'd learned.

Skye made it back inside and they agreed to move to the dining room table. They reluctantly sat down beside one another and Willow handed her the drive.

"Will you be able to open it? It's probably 20 years old…"

"If something is on it, trust me. I'll find it." Skye squinted at the screen. As much as the hacker had pissed her off, she knew she was good—the best even.

With a few taps of the keys, Skye sat back in satisfaction, while Willow's breath caught in her throat. There was her mother's face just as she remembered it, right there staring at her. Willow and Skye glanced at each other before turning back to the screen. Willow's heart filled with dread.

"Hi my beautiful, sweet girl. If you're watching this…then I'm so very, very sorry….so sorry for what happened to us, to your childhood. I'm sorry you had to see some really terrible things, but mostly…I'm sorry about what we did to you—and what people will do to you in the future to get what they want. They want your precious gift…and they will stop at absolutely nothing to get it….."