A/N I'm so so sorry guys, but this still isn't it. I know, I know, I've been really really stretching it thin and I'm very aware that this isn't very realistic anymore (but then what about this pregnancy is?), but really it was either this way or cheat. And with cheating I mean changing last year's calendar. Which I actually had considered for a while, but couldn't really bring myself to do while there was still a slim chance to explain the delay. A delay caused by an initial screw-up of mine when I tried to arrive at the conception date by calculating backwards from the birthday of the LTC (which I had already decided on when most of the story was still in the planning stage) and thought St Valentine's Day was just too good to pass up. But at least it means the story gets two more chapters – maybe even three - or two and an epilogue. And yes, I know that dragging it out like that makes it look like I'm just trying to rake in more reviews, but please believe me that this wasn't my intention at all. (Though it would be really cool if the count did arrive at 200 – an author can still dream, right?) No, this is just me trying to make the best of the situation and hoping that you still like it.
And not only will the next chapter after this - #21 – definitely be it, the long awaited birth chapter, but I also promise to have it ready to post on Thanksgiving Day, first thing in the morning, just as it should be. It's really the least I can do.
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Day 280 (week 41/43) Nov. 20th. (1 week after the official due date)
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"Don't tell me. It's still not ready, right?"
Dr. Lotz sighed deeply as she finished her examination of Monica's cervix, straightening up again and spreading her hands. "I'm sorry, but – well, no, the cervix is still not ripe. Not anywhere near it even. I know the baby's dropped already, but that doesn't really mean anything, just that it'll be soon."
"But shouldn't it have been born by now?"
"Of course it should! It's overdue actually. And I have to admit, I wouldn't have believed it from somebody else. But there it is. Unless you want to induce labor or have a C-section –"
"No!" They both said it at the same time, quite emphatically too, and Dr. Lotz nodded and smiled.
"I wouldn't recommend that either. Not yet at least, while everything's still fine. And you are fine, that's for sure, and the baby's doing really good too. There's absolutely no problem that I can see. Your values are great, the baby's got enough fluids too … is it still kicking as much as before?"
"Oh yes!"
"You should see its uppercut!"
Dr. Lotz snorted. "I believe you. And how about you, what do you think? Are you still holding up or do you want this to be over? Is it getting too uncomfortable for you?"
Monica sighed deeply. "I don't know. I'm not really uncomfortable, at least not more than I was until now. And I can still take it. But it feels so weird. And I'm getting really worried too. Are you sure it's still safe?"
"If it keeps moving as much as before and doesn't slow down, and if you don't feel any pain or discomfort – then yes, I'd say it's still safe. Not for very much longer though, I can assure you of that at least."
"How much longer?"
"Two days? Maybe three. Or four. Could be next week, but that would really be stretching it."
"Next week? But that's Thanksgiving week!"
"What? Oh, you're right. But it's still a week away, so don't worry, it'll come before that."
"I'm not worried about that. It's just that I always host Thanksgiving dinner for our friends and I thought I'd be home again then, with the baby …"
"You will. I'm sure you will. Thanksgiving dinner, huh? Traditional and all, with a turkey?"
"Yeah, like always, and I preordered it already too."
"Well, you might want to think about getting some help with that. Whatever you do, you mustn't overdo it. Take it slow, get as much rest as you can, and don't let anything stress you, under no circumstances!"
"I know. I won't. Chandler won't let me anyway – Chandler? What is it?"
Chandler started almost violently and pulled himself together. "Huh? Oh sorry, got caught up with something. No, of course not, I'll chain her to the bed if she gets into too much stress."
Dr. Lotz smiled. "Sounds like a good idea. Alright, we'll give it a few more days. Again. But I want you to come in on Saturday again – that's alright, I'm on call anyway this weekend – and on Monday, and if there's still nothing doing, every day."
"And if it's still not here on Thanksgiving?"
"That's not possible. It'll happen before that, I'm sure of it."
Monica nodded reluctantly, seemingly satisfied and put her hands on Chandler's shoulders so he could help her up. As she swung her legs over the examining table he let his hands rest on her belly briefly again and closed his eyes.
Thanksgiving? Seriously?
He had completely forgotten about Thanksgiving and what a nightmare it still was to him, even after all that time. It was strange how after all those years the day still seemed jinxed to him. True, it had been on Thanksgiving 11 years ago that they had gotten the call that Erica had chosen them as parents for her baby. And while their Thanksgivings over the next ten years had always been quite eventful and often rather crazy, nothing really bad had happened on that day. If you didn't count things like their dinner nearly getting spoiled when the blackout happened right in the middle of Monica's cooking (fortunately it only lasted a few minutes), or their yard getting flooded when the stream overflowed, or Erica almost cracking her skull on the bathroom sink just when they were sitting down to dinner, and sporting a giant bump for nearly a week … And now their baby would be born on that day of all days? The day that still seemed cursed to him? Would that really change now? Could the baby really change it?
It made no sense really. But somehow it did.
Moreover, he suddenly was convinced that it did. And that his baby would indeed be born on that very day and no other.
"You know, Chandler was late. Three weeks, his mother said."
"Three and a half, actually."
"What? That's very unusual."
"Yeah, and I never thought that could happen with our baby, but what if it's hereditary?"
"That would be the first time I heard of something like that." Dr. Lotz shook her head emphatically. "No, don't even think about it. I wouldn't stand for it anyway. So, in the really really unlikely case it's not here by Thanksgiving, we'll induce labor on Black Friday. No, don't worry, it won't be any problem. In fact, I'll get you registered at the hospital right now. When the baby comes they'll be ready for you. How far away from the hospital are you?"
"About ten minutes going full speed."
"Don't rush too much though. And don't hesitate to call an ambulance, even if you're not completely sure. And keep calm. Everything's going to be fine. I know how that sounds, and yes, it's what I tell everybody, but I really believe that. Especially here. I've never had a case quite like this before."
"Like what?"
"Well … where the baby was so – I don't know. Good? Serene?" She glanced at the wall where 'the Toesucker' had a place of honor among the other baby pictures and smiled wistfully. "Happy?"
Monica and Chandler looked at each other, their grins widening.
"Yeah. Happy. That about covers it."
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Day 281 (1 week and 1 day after the official due date) Friday, Nov. 21st.
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"Mom, I learned a new song today! Can I play it to the baby?"
"Of course you can! What is it? Can you sing it too?"
"Um … yeah, but, um, Dad? Can you help me with that?"
"Sure, let's see … Oh, that one. Yeah, let's give that a try!"
He plugged in Erica's guitar and the amp while Monica settled on their sofa looking expectantly at their daughter. Then Erica counted silently to four and started the riff.
"Come back! Baby come back!
Baby come back! Baby come back!
This is the first / time until today
That you have run away
I'm asking you / for the first time
Love me enough and stay
(All right) hey / (All right) hey
(All right) hey, yeah …" **
Chandler could see that Monica was trying hard not to cover her ears, but actually Erica was nailing the riff rather well. And at the second refrain -
"Come OUT! Baby come OUT!"
Monica gasped and laughed, and then couldn't stop laughing helplessly when Erica broke off and pouted.
"DA-HAD!"
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Day 282 (1 week and 2 days after the official due date) Saturday, Nov. 22nd.
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"Ha! And I thought Emma had been late! But compared to your baby, she was almost punctual!"
"It's only been two days more, Rachel."
"Two weeks! It's two weeks after the due date!"
"No, one week, Ross, I told you the due date was pushed back a week …"
"Excuses, excuses. Just admit it, your baby's late. Little Miss Tardy. Little Johnny-come-late!"
Monica sat fuming, compressing her lips to a thin line while her brother gloated and Rachel shook her head at him.
"At least Monica won't have to wait a whole day in a semi private labor room." Chandler said quickly and Ross and Rachel winced simultaneously.
"Yeah, I'd really hate to have that happen to you. Are you sure though?"
"Yes! We're already registered. Just need to go there."
"But it's Thanksgiving week! Won't it get crowded?"
"No. This isn't Manhattan, Ross. Actually this close to the holidays there's usually more room in the hospitals, not less."
"Ah. Well, I hope it won't turn out as crazy as Emma's birth. Remember how Janice turned up?"
Now it was Chandler's and Monica's turn to wince.
"Oh my god!"
"It's been ten years. Wouldn't it be about time she turned up again?"
"I think she moved to Arizona a few years ago." Monica's eyes widened. "But if she should decide to visit …"
There was a long pause while all of them thought about that.
"At least the baby didn't come on her birthday. That's something."
Ross frowned at that. "Why is that something?"
Chandler shrugged. "I don't know. But I remember her birthday was yesterday. Yeah, I know, I know, I don't know why I still remember, it's just one of those things. Maybe because it was on the last day of Scorpio ... or something."
"Scorpio? Oh right! So your baby's going to be a Sagittarius! Wow, the first Sagittarius in our family!"
"Um, my mom's a Sagittarius!" Rachel pointed out and Ross winced.
"Oookay … So Monica – what are you going to do if little Miss Tardy doesn't come this weekend?"
"I don't know. What does Uncle Rash think we should do? There is nothing we can do. Just wait – and play it by ear."
"Aw. This must be so hard for you. All this waiting."
"Yeah. But it could be worse."
"Can't you – you know, have the doctors start the labor -?"
"Induce labor? Yes, we could, and we will at some point. But not now."
"And there's no other way? Oh, have you tried sex?"
"RACHE!"
"Sex? You mean actual sex? Why didn't I think of that sooner?"
"But it works! Ross and I tried it when Emma was late –"
"We didn't have sex!"
"We so did!"
"No, we were just going to, when your water broke."
"See? So it worked!"
"I'm sorry, Rachel, but if that really worked, the baby would have been here last weekend already."
"What? Are you still having –"
"Or the day before yesterday."
"But how – I mean ..."
"Or this morning." Monica grinned at Chandler and they high-fived as Ross stared at them.
"Sorry, Ross, I really think it's just a myth. But we are very willing to try again. Maybe it'll work tonight."
"Or tomorrow."
"Ugh, no! I cannot believe you two!"
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Day 283 (1 week and 3 days after the official due date) Sunday, Nov. 23rd.
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"Oh, Jack, hi! How are you? And Judy? Oh great. No, it's okay, Monica is right here, I'll pass you on, okay? No – no, the baby's not here yet … Yes, we we're just back from the doctor. Yes, she thinks it's strange too. But she's not worried, and neither is Monica … What? Have we tried - ? Yes, Rachel asked us that already, and, um, actually, yes, we have. Several times in fact. Didn't work so far, but we're not giving up yet … What? It worked with Ross? Well, but he wasn't late, was he?"
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Day 284 (1 week and 4 days after the official due date) Monday, Nov. 24th.
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"Oh no. Still not ready? How can this be?"
"I truly don't know." Dr. Lotz shook her head, almost slumping. "I'm really sorry, but – I really hate to admit this, but I'm stumped. I have no explanation at all for this. Not anymore."
Monica sighed. "This is getting ridiculous!"
"I agree. But all I can offer you is that we induce the birth now."
"What? Now? Today?"
"Well yes, or tomorrow. Whenever you want."
Monica looked at Chandler, her expression almost panicked.
"Chandler? Chandler, stop humming!"
" ... Baby, come out … Hmmm, what?"
"Chandler! Should we induce the birth today?"
"Today? But this is so sudden!"
Dr. Lotz snorted and frantically hid her face in the crook of her arm as Monica glared at him.
"Sudden? Chandler, it's been 2 and a half weeks!"
"One and a half. Okay, okay. But it's really you who should decide that."
She sighed deeply. "I know. But what do you think?"
"Me? Okay … if you really want to know … I think it will come on Thanksgiving."
"WHAT?"
"Well, you asked. That's what I think."
"Oh my god. On Thanksgiving? How do you know?"
He shrugged. "I just do. A gut feeling I guess."
"No way." Monica narrowed her eyes at him. "I just … I can't believe it."
"Me neither actually." Dr. Lotz put in and Chandler shrugged.
"Still, that's what I think. But, if it's not safe to wait until then …"
They looked at the doctor again who winced and sighed.
"This is so crazy. But I guess, three more days won't make much of a difference. Of course I could be wrong."
"Will you be here on Thanksgiving?" Chandler asked. The doctor shook her head regretfully.
"No, but I won't be far away. If the baby should come then, the hospital will call me. No, it's no problem, actually I wouldn't want to miss this for the world. This is really one for the books!"
Monica leaned back and closed her eyes. "Okay. Okay. We'll wait. I can't believe I'm saying this, but – alright. We wait." Then she opened her eyes again to glare at Chandler. "But I still don't understand how you can be so sure."
He sighed. "Me neither. I'm just sure."
Her eyes narrowed. "How sure?"
"What do you mean? Oh – oh, no. Seriously? You want to bet on this?"
"You don't? So you're not sure after all?"
"I didn't say that. But what do you want to bet?" He raised his hands defensively. "I mean in the totally unlikely case that I win, of course."
Monica pondered this. "Hm. I don't know actually. It's … why don't you chose something?"
"Okay. Okay. If I'm right and the baby is born on Thanksgiving, I – get to decide on the name."
Monica opened her mouth and shut it again, seemingly torn.
"Um … okay. You choose the name. Only the first name though. We've already decided on the middle name" she explained, turning to the doctor, who smiled noncommittedly.
"So, what about me? What's your stake?"
Monica grinned at him. "If the baby's here before Thanksgiving – that is, before midnight on Wednesday – then, Mister, you will have to eat my turkey."
Chandler's jaw dropped.
"And the stuffing. And the yams. AND the cranberry sauce."
"Oh. Oh god. Okay … Okay, I'll try. Can't promise anything though." He caught the doctor's puzzled glance and just shrugged. "I don't eat Thanksgiving food."
"He hasn't eaten it for – wow, 37 years! And you never ate mine."
"That's not true. I ate the yams three years ago."
"One. You ate one! And wanted to spit it out again!"
"I made the cranberry sauce, back when we got the twins."
"You washed them with soap! Well, anyway, you're so going to do it now, mister. At least one helping of everything, you eat it and you keep it down. That's my bet." Monica pushed herself up from the examining table and sat up. "Wow, I suddenly got a whole lot of ideas for this meal! There's this stuffing recipe I saw recently … Ooh, I've got to write them down right away!"
Chandler grinned as he helped her down. "Good thing Joey's coming this year."
"Wait though, what if the baby doesn't come on Thanksgiving either?"
"Then we'll induce the birth on Black Friday." Dr. Lotz handed them Monica's pants. "And you get to name the baby after me."
They both froze, staring at their doctor with their mouths open. Chandler was the first to recover. "Um … well, okay, but – sorry, but what was your first name again?"
"No problem." She smiled at them sunnily. "Actually it's Wendy."
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Day 285 (1 week and 5 days after the official due date) Tuesday, Nov. 25th.
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When he woke up, after an obscure and confusing dream where he kept taking hold of the little tough cookie only to find that he was holding a teddy bear, or a bag of groceries, or the duck (the one that he and Joey had kept at their apartment) in his arms instead of his baby, it was still very early. He didn't need to get up, the twins' school was closed Thanksgiving week and he hadn't even needed to ask his boss to have the whole week off too. Just like his colleagues, neighbors, friends and in-laws - everybody really – Steve could hardly wait for the baby to be born and kept asking after it. It was quite a relief to escape all that and be able to just concentrate on how the little tough cookie fared. And worry about its arrival in this world, both the time and the manner. How it would affect Monica, if she would be able to stand it, if it would be long and painful – or short, but equally painful for her – or if it would have to be delivered by a C-section after all in case its position didn't let it be born naturally. And after the birth, would everything be alright with it? Dr. Lotz had assured them that everything looked great in the sonograms, no indication for anything wrong or abnormal that she could find, but of course that didn't preclude everything. Which was why he found it impossible to go back to sleep again. He knew that after two more days he wouldn't be able to get a decent night's sleep for a very long time and that this was his last chance for a good rest, but he also knew that it was hopeless to even try. So he got up instead and went to the bathroom for a pee, staring at himself in the mirror as he washed his hands, and grinning wryly as he remembered how he had stood here nine months ago, in the exact same place, to check Monica's tampons. On an impulse he opened the cabinet door and looked at the boxes again. The pads he had watched then had long since gone, actually been replaced a couple of times, but the tampons, both the normal and the supersized were still there, in the same boxes. Normal size tampons: three and a half layers, 3 tampons on the top layer. Super tampons: two layers, with one tampon missing in the top layer. No change. He closed the door again and returned to their bedroom, carefully getting into the bed again and squeezing in next to Monica who naturally had claimed the empty space immediately after he had vacated it. After some very gentle prodding he got her to turn over without waking up and let him spoon against her, his hand on its accustomed place near the navel at the top of her swollen belly. After a while he felt the little tough cookie slowly squirming and undulating under the palm of his hand and closed his eyes, smiling. As he started to trace small circles and figure eights on Monica's belly, he tried to push his worries aside and think of things he could still do. Precautions. Preparations. Emergency plans.
Of course Monica had her suitcase packed already, had actually unpacked and repacked it about twenty times since she had first got it ready. They kept it in the wardrobe closet in the hallway, ready for picking up as soon as they needed to go to the hospital. Among other things it contained towels and a blanket that they could put on the car seat. He had secretly put another blanket and a couple of small, fluffy towels on an empty shelf in the closet, for no particular reason, just a whim really. And although he was very familiar with all the routes he could take to get to the hospital, he had made a couple of dry runs on his way to work in the last week, just for safety, and had also programmed the fastest route into the GPS of their car, so no time would be lost in case somebody else would have to drive them. That would also ensure that the somebody in question would not choose the shortest route which only looked faster on the map, but actually wasn't the best choice, especially in fall and winter.
Try as he might there was nothing more he could do that he could think of. Except watching over Monica and the little tough cookie all the time. Until it was time.
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Day 286 (1 week and 6 days after the official due date) Wednesday, Nov. 26th. Thanksgiving Eve
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"That's strange. I should be able to see something, but there's just nothing."
"Phoebe! Nothing? Really? Then what is this?" Monica patted her belly while Phoebe sat back on her heels.
"Oh, yeah, of course, I didn't mean that. I meant … well, I can't see the aura. The baby's aura. It doesn't seem to have one. Yours I can see – yes, it's actually very clear. Very intense. Oooh, it's turning red, that could mean you're angry. Are you angry?"
"You just told me that my baby was nothing, and that it has no aura, of course that makes me mad!"
"Oh. Well, if you put it that way … But really, it's not such a big deal. I'm sure it has an aura, it's just that I can't see it."
"Like with me" Chandler remarked and Phoebe smiled at him sunnily.
"Yes, exactly, only I've gotten better at yours. But the baby – well, maybe when it's born."
"So you can't tell either if it's going to be born tonight or tomorrow?"
Phoebe shook her head regretfully. "No, sorry, no way. I wish I could."
"It doesn't matter. I'm so glad you will be here, no matter if the baby comes or not. That's really a big help!"
"That's okay, I'm happy to help out. It was either that or endure three days with Mike's parents – and I know that would have ended very badly for all concerned. Ooh, by the way, he didn't know when he would be here tomorrow, but he thinks no later than three. Three-ish."
"That's okay. The others will be late too. Rachel's picking up Joey from the airport at 2 p.m. with the kids and Ross will probably arrive here around this time too. And the twins have a Thanksgiving thing in their school. Just as long as everybody's here around four, I'm not worried."
"But what if the baby –"
"It won't. I don't believe it'll come by itself. Not anymore. It's been too long. I'm beginning to think it just doesn't know how."
"Really? Well if you're sure … You know, I'm sure it will turn out alright. I'm getting really good vibes from this baby!"
"Thank you, Phoebe. Actually we know that already."
"Oh, really?"
"Yeah, everybody says that. Even our doctor said that it's a happy baby."
"It's very infectious too. It made Ross fall asleep in 2 minutes flat!"
"AND my mother too. It's incredible!"
"Wow. Is that why you don't want it to be born yet?"
"Phoebe! Of course not! We've been waiting for three weeks for it to be born! Actually, if it doesn't come today, I'm losing my bet, so yes, of course I really need it to get out now!"
"Your bet? You bet on this? Oh. Oh Mon, I'm so sorry, that really must be killing you!"
"Not really." Monica leaned back against the backrest and closed her eyes. "I know it's strange, but I really don't care anymore. I know we'll have it on Friday, and nothing else matters. Just as long as it gets born, one way or another, and that it's okay, and healthy, and that it doesn't hurt too much. That's all I ask. All that is – except for one thing …"
"Which is?"
Monica opened her eyes and looked at Chandler. "Is there some way that we don't have to call it Wendy?"
"If it gets born tomorrow ... or if it's a boy?"
"A boy? No, I checked already, if it's a boy we have to call it Wendell."
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** "Baby Come Back" by The Equals, 1966