Oh mee gee! It's chapter number 20! Wow. We've come so far. No, not really. Well, yeah, I guess. Hope you like the chapter!

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Xan didn't pay any attention to what was being said in the car. She tried to concentrate, because she knew she needed to know what they were saying. But she just couldn't. She was lost in her own, sad world, running throughout the wilderness.

She found herself remembering her past. Her little brothers, Sable and Fitzroy. Blond-haired cutie pies. Her parents, Garland and Aceline. They'd been hunters, since this was the dawn of the farming era and they hadn't been aquainted quite yet with farming tools and such, but life was good anyhow.

She tried to remember them, but couldn't. Her only memories of them had been in her human days, and the only ones in her vampiric days was when she had been standing over their dead bodies.

Except for Fitzroy. She hadn't been able to kill him. Remember, she'd been quite risilient, though not perfect, hence her parents' deaths. Sable, unfortunately, had not won Xan's favor, as did Fitzroy, and had perished, along with a few dozen others who had been in a ten-mile radius on that horrible night three days after meeting that wretched man in the woods who had bitten her so savagely.

But Fitzroy, oh, Fitzroy. A pretty little two-year-old with the widest blue eyes you'd ever seen. How innocent he looked, even after bawling his eyes out after all the carnage he couldn't understand surrounding him. Xan let him be, for she loved him so. Saw him years later, a servant of thirty-two at the side of a king of a small town. He hadn't recognized her, but she had him, and was choked up at the beautiful boy's growth.

Meeting her first of three lovers. Now, that was something. It had been a few centuries after her turning, and she'd met this beautiful man, Italian, by the name of Aldo. Sixteen, bright, a scribe of sorts, with such a dark color of hair. He'd instantly taken a liking to her and married her without much permission, but Xan had consented, for sure. The marriage lasted a month before Xan foolishly slaughtered him, forcing her to become an outlaw of the place.

That had to be one of the happiest months of Xan's life. Short, yes, but lacking in love and fun? Nope.

A sudden light caught Xan off-guard. The Jeep had made a swift turn and was now heading in a different direction down the dark highway. Xan paid it almost no mind, continuing behind close but at a snail's pace to vampiric standards.

Her mind dawdled onto different experiences for a period of time, stopping to rest on a time she had ventured into this very area, a thousand years ago, give or take a century. Man, the wolves here were huge! That was why she'd warned Carlisle in her note, about the strange beasts who turned from human to wolf. Of course, they weren't nearly as frightening as some of the monsters she'd dealt with--you wouldn't believe how many legends many humans nowadays take for simple myths only gullible children would become frightened of.

And that gigantic werewolf that attacked Caius--what a sight! Xan was happy at the thought, suddenly, for she'd been angry at Caius at the time. Served him right, the angry old fool.

Still, she loved the old coot. They'd had a fling once, only lasted a decade. Though they'd "broken up" and she knew she could never stand his negative look on things, she knew she loved him, somewhere in her heart.

He'd been her second lover. This was before any of the wives came into the picture. Her third came a decade or so later, when she'd found a vampire that looked about twenty but had been born only a century after her. She thought she'd spend the rest of her days with him--he was a Nordic man, by the name of Hvatgeirr. Unfortunately he was killed during the raid of the South.

So she was all alone. Well, single, anyway. She'd always had some friends. More when she'd been with the Volturi. She only found her real friends on her times away from the Volturi, because most of them only pretended because they were afraid of her. How rude.

But Carlisle had always been there for her. Always. He'd never been so selfish and immature, and was always true in whatever he did.

Thinking of Carlisle made her remember her sticky situation just as they reached Bella's home. Alice escaped from the car and filled Xan in on what was going on. They were going to Pheonix, but Xan was to stay here and do whatever she could to get James off-track.

Wow. So exciting. Sarcasm.

She watched and heard with jealousy as Edward valiantly helped Bella pack and get back into the car, all the while acting super-protective, caring, and loving. No, not acting, being. Xan unconsciously clenched her fists with rage. Why, oh why, was everyone but her allowed to have a love? Why did hers always die, or turn out to be the wrong one?

Why?

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Well, that's the end of this chapter. Damn, I love looking up old names. Seriously, the ones I have in here came from websites that told me old names. Man, I never knew Nordic ones were so odd. I'm not sure how you pronounce that one. Whatevs.

Well, now you know most of Xan's past! Squee! I had an urge to do this. It was fun. I loved the name Fitzroy when I found it. And Sable, too.

Bye!!