A/n: Anything you recognize is property of Marvel. Ellie is a creation of my pure imagination.
A/n2: Thank you for the favorite: Lone-Wolf761 as well as the review PistolHattersButtercup!
How do I say goodbye to what we had?
The good times that made us laugh, outweighed the bad.
I thought we'd get to see forever, but forever has blown away.
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.
~It's Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday by Boys 2 Men
*~*~* October 10th, 2013- Washington D.C. *~*~*
In the two years since the battle in New York, Steve had decided that as much as he loved his home city, there were too many memories. Becca had completely lost her memory then died shortly after. Only a short time later, Fury had asked him if he wanted to lead his STRIKE team and move to the capitol, and Steve had accepted. He had created a routine for himself during that time. Every day he would wake up, leave his apartment and run from 5am until 7am making as many laps as he could before heading back.
There was usually not anyone up as early as he was, making their laps around the streets of Washington DC with the Washington Monument in the background, but today there was one African American gentleman. The sky had barely begun to lighten and the street lamps were still on as Steve ran past him.
"On your left" Steve said as he buzzed by him and continued on with his route.
He was on his second lap and he was passing Jefferson's Memorial, when he saw the man again.
"On your left" Steve said as he jogged past him again.
"Uh huh on my left, got it" The man said as Steve easily passed him leaving him behind once more as the sky began to brighten up even more.
Steve continued his route and grinned as he saw the man coming up in front of him again in front of Lincoln's Memorial.
The man glanced back at the sound of Steve's feet, "Don't say it! Don't you say it!"
"On your left!" Steve yelled passing him.
"Come on!" The man yelled as Steve blew past him for a third time.
On his fourth lap, he spotted the man resting on a tree catching his breath and slowed down to walk up to him.
"Need a medic?" Steve asked.
The man laughed, "I need a new set of lungs. Dude, you just ran like 13 miles in 30 minutes"
Steve knew his record was actually 15 miles in 30 minutes but he didn't dispute the man.
"I guess I got a late start" Steve told him.
"Oh really? You should be ashamed of yourself. You should take another lap" The man said looking away for a brief moment then back at Steve, "Did you just take it? I assumed you just took it"
Steve noticed his sweatshirt, "What unit you with?"
"58, Pararescue. But now I'm working down at the VA. Sam Wilson" He said holding out his hand.
Steve held out his hand to help him get up.
"Steve Rogers" Steve introduced.
"I kind of put that together. Must have freaked you out coming home after the whole defrosting thing" Sam said.
"It takes some getting used to. It's good to meet you, Sam" Steve said turning to leave.
"It's your bed, right?" Sam called out.
"What's that?" Steve asked as he turned back around.
"Your bed, it's too soft. When I was over there I'd sleep on the ground and use rock for pillows, like a caveman. Now I'm home, lying in my bed and it's like..."
Steve had a quick flashback of the Commandoes all sleeping in sleeping bags on the cold ground.
"Lying on a marshmallow. Feel like I'm gonna sink right to the floor" Steve nodded.
Sam smiled and nodded.
"How long?" Steve asked.
"Two tours. You must miss the good old days, huh?" Sam asked.
"Well, things aren't so bad. Food's a lot better, we used to boil everything. No polio is good. Internet, so helpful. I've been reading that a lot trying to catch up" Steve told him.
"Marvin Gaye, 1972, "Trouble Man" soundtrack. Everything you've missed jammed into one album" Sam explained.
"I'll put it on the list" Steve told him as he pulled a small notebook and pen out and added it to his list.
Steve felt his phone buzz in his pocket and a message appeared on the screen.
"Mission alert. Extraction imminent. Meet at the curb. :)"
"Alright, Sam, duty calls. Thanks for the run. If that's what you wanna call running" Steve said shaking his hand.
"Oh, that's how it is?" Sam asked.
Steve laughed, "Oh, that's how it is"
"Okay. Any time you wanna stop by the VA, make me look awesome in front of the girl at the front desk, just let me know" Sam told Steve.
"I'll keep it in mind" Steve told him internally smiling how this guy reminded him of Bucky.
"Okay" Sam said as Natasha pulled her car up to the curb and rolled down the window.
"Hey, fellas. Either one of you know where the Smithsonian is? I'm here to pick up a fossil" Natasha said.
"That's hilarious" Steve said walking over to the car and getting in.
Sam looked in the car, "How you doing?"
"Hey" Natasha said to him.
"Can't run everywhere" Steve told him.
"No, you can't" Sam said as Natasha quickly pulled away.
Natasha looked over at Steve as she navigated through cars, "Did you hear about the new exhibit at the Smithsonian?"
Steve looked at her, "No, what is it?"
"All about you and the commandoes. Since you came back, SHIELD and the Smithsonian have been working together to get it installed" Natasha told him.
Steve frowned, "What is there?"
Natasha shrugged, "Not quite sure, I haven't been there myself but they went through all the old SSR footage and the relatives of the commandoes donated stuff"
Steve sighed as he looked back out the passenger window, "I might go check it out. It will feel odd, my life mentioned in a museum like a Monet"
"Didn't you do art work? You know… before the ice" Natasha asked.
Steve nodded, "But nothing professional"
"You should try it again" Natasha suggested.
Steve sighed, "I just haven't been inspired. I've done a few drawings but…the muses aren't there anymore"
*~*~* October 11th, 2013- Triskelion - Washington D.C. *~*~*
After his mission on the Lemurian Star and finding it nearly compromised when Natasha had her own separate mission, Steve was upset. As soon as they reached the Triskelion, SHIELD's Headquarters, he marched into Fury's office.
"You just can't stop yourself from lying, can you?" Steve asked.
"I didn't lie. Agent Romanoff had a different mission than yours" Fury told him.
"Which you didn't feel obliged to share" Steve said.
"I'm not obliged to do anything" Fury explained.
"Those hostages could've died, Nick" Steve told him.
"I sent the greatest soldier in history to make sure that didn't happen" Fury told him.
"Soldiers trust each other, that's what makes it an army. Not a bunch of guys running around and shooting guns" Steve explained.
"The last time I trusted someone, I lost an eye. Look, I didn't want you doing anything you weren't comfortable with. Agent Romanoff is comfortable with everything." Fury defended.
"I can't lead a mission when the people I'm leading have missions of their own" Steve told him.
"It's called compartmentalization. Nobody spills the secrets because nobody knows them all" Fury told him.
"Except you" Steve said.
"You're wrong about me. I do share. I'm nice like that" Fury told him.
Steve followed Fury into an elevator.
"Insight bay" Fury stated.
"Captain Rogers does not have clearance for Project Insight."
"Director override, Fury, Nicholas J" Fury stated.
"Confirmed"
The elevator started moving down.
Steve remembered the last time he was in an elevator with someone, he was with Bucky and they were going to a rooftop dance. The music was a waltz. He shook the memories away, "You know, they used to play music" Steve said leaning against the side of the elevator.
"Yeah. My grandfather operated one of these things for forty years. My granddad worked in a nice building, he got good tips. He'd walk home every night, roll of ones stuffed in his lunch bag. He'd say "hi", people would say hi back. Time went on, neighborhood got rougher. He'd say "Hi", they'd say, "Keep on steppin'." Granddad got to grippin' that lunch bag a little tighter" Fury told him.
"Did he ever get mugged?" Steve asked.
"Every week some punk would say, "What's in the bag?" Fury told him.
"What did he do?" Steve asked as they entered the underground portion of the building.
"He'd show 'em. Bunch of crumpled ones and loaded .22 Magnum" Fury said with a smile, "Granddad loved people. But he didn't trust them very much"
Steve noticed the giant Helicarriers for the first time.
"Yeah, I know. They're a little bit bigger than a .22" Fury said.
Steve looked on and felt a slight feeling of fear. These planes and all the weaponry reminded him too much of Hydra.
"This is Project Insight. Three next generation Helicarriers synced to a network of targeting satellites" Fury informed him.
"Launched from the Lemurian Star" Steve noted.
"Once we get them in the air they never need to come down. Continuous suborbital flight courtesy of our new repulsor engines" Fury told him.
"Stark?"
"Well, he had a few suggestions once he got an up close look at our old turbines. These new long range precision guns can eliminate a thousand hostiles a minute. The satellites can read a terrorist's DNA before he steps outside his spider hole. We gonna neutralize a lot of threats before they even happen" Fury told him.
Steve mentally shook his head, "I thought the punishment usually came after the crime"
"We can't afford to wait that long" Fury told him.
"Who's "we"?" Steve asked.
"After New York, I convinced the World Security Council we needed a quantum surge in threat analysis. For once we're way ahead of the curve." Fury told him.
"By holding a gun at everyone on Earth and calling it protection" Steve argued.
"You know, I read those SSR files. Greatest generation? You guys did some nasty stuff." Fury defended.
"Yeah, we compromised. Sometimes in ways that made us not sleep so well. But we did it so the people could be free. This isn't freedom, this is fear" Steve told him.
"SHIELD takes the world as it is, not as we'd like it to be. It's getting damn near past time for you to get with that program, Cap" Fury instructed him.
"Don't hold your breath" Steve told him as he turned and walked off.
He got into the elevator and pinched his nose. He missed his old life more than ever. This wasn't how he imagined it would be in the future.
*~*~* October 11th, 2013- Smithsonian - Washington D.C. *~*~*
Steve walked into the Smithsonian, pulling his hat down lower on his face. Romanoff had told him that there was a new exhibit here at the Smithsonian dedicated to him and the Commandoes, but he had never had the guts to go to it. He had never missed home more than he currently was. He hoped that seeing pictures or whatever they had in the exhibit would help.
He sighed as he saw his face on large banners on either side of the escalators leading up to the exhibit. Climbing aboard, he rode upstairs to see "Welcome Back, Cap" written on the wall from President Ellis with the words Captain America: The living legend and symbol of courage.
"A symbol to the nation. A hero to the world." Steve walked past a large mural "The story of Captain America is one of honor, bravery and sacrifice" said a narrated recording.
Steve walked to the first part of the exhibit and froze as he saw a picture of what he once looked like.
"Denied enlistment due to poor health, Steven Rogers was chosen for a program unique in the annals of American warfare"
A family was in the same area and there was a screen that displayed the size difference between himself before the serum and now. The smallest boy was dressed in a costume of his and was holding a toy shield.
"One that would transform him into the world's first super soldier"
Steve noticed a boy wearing a shield shirt staring at him, and smiled putting his finger to his lips hoping the boy would keep quiet so he could look through his life in peace. The boy nodded and Steve walked off to the next area that held one of his old motorcycles.
"In this rare footage, everyone's favorite warrior, Captain America... "
Steve watched the footage and closed his eyes as he remembered it as if it were in fact yesterday.
Steve sat inside the Jeep as Jones drove it down the dirt roads leading towards base.
"Cheer up Stevie. That was our tenth HYDRA base that we took out" Bucky said as he patted Steve on the back.
"But we haven't found the main base yet" Steve told him.
"Cap, we have done so much already. Rome wasn't built in a day. Hydra won't fall in a day either" Monty told him as Jones pulled up to base's gate.
Bucky smiled almost giddy at the sight of the base, "After debrief, no one bother me. It's mine and Ellie's anniversary"
"Oh Sarge is getting lucky tonight" Jones said with a grin.
"That's my sister!" Steve said in disgust as the Jeep parked.
"Well men, appears that we have an audience" Morita told them as he saw the cameraman.
Bucky groaned as he looked at Steve, "I thought the senator got all the footage he wanted"
Steve shrugged, "Your guess is as good as mine" He said as they got out of the Jeep.
Colonel Phillips walked up to them with the camera following, "Mission Report, Captain"
"Colonel sir, mission was a success. We destroyed their intel, destroyed their base but there was no additional knowledge on their headquarters" Steve said.
Colonel looked over the men, "Injuries"
"No sir" Steve told him.
"I want a written report by 0800 tomorrow" Colonel Phillips told him, "You are all dismissed to your quarters"
Bucky smiled as he saw Ellie and Peggy walking down the path towards them.
Ellie stopped in front of Bucky, "Well hello there soldier"
"Well hello angel face, how is my doll doing?"Bucky asked as he pulled her close.
"Bucky, there is a camera right over there" Ellie said as she buried her face in his neck to hide her face.
Bucky laughed as he leaned down and kissed her neck, causing her to giggle.
Peggy walked up to Steve, "Well hell Captain"
Steve looked at her with an eyebrow raised.
"Don't worry I don't expect that type of welcome" Peggy said as he looked him over, "Everyone in one piece?"
"Yes ma'am" Steve said as she nodded then turned away from him.
Peggy glanced back at him, "But I wouldn't mind that type either Captain"
Steve sighed as he watched Peggy walk away from him in the footage as Bucky put his arm around Ellie and they walked out of shot.
Moving on he froze as he saw the display with the costumes of all of his old commandoes and his own. Bucky's face next to his in color brought back too many memories.
"Battle tested; Captain America and his Howling Commandos quickly earned their stripes. Their mission, taking down HYDRA, the Nazi rogue science division"
Turning around from the giant photograph of Bucky, he found a display all about only Bucky.
"Best friends since childhood, Bucky Barnes and Steven Rogers were inseparable on both schoolyard and battlefield. Barnes is the only Howling Commando to give his life in service of his country."
Steve read over the information, noting that there were many inaccuracies. He looked down and saw video that he did not even know that existed of him, Bucky and the commandoes. Even worse, a video of him and Bucky laughing. They looked so carefree. The memory flashed through his brain and he remembered Ellie was the one recording the footage.
A young lady and her friend walked up next to the memorial to Bucky, "Becky, look how gorgeous he was"
'Becky' shook her head, "Sarah, you just have a thing for the brown hair, blue eyed and brooding type"
"Do you think he had kids? Great-nephews or something. You can tell he was a playboy though, did you see the footage over there. He walked up with the Commandoes and a woman just flocked to him" The other girl said as they walked off.
Steve looked up at Bucky's face one last time before moving onto the next section, a small auditorium and sat down.
He felt his heart clench as he saw Peggy's face. Older than he remembered.
"That was a difficult winter. A blizzard had trapped half our battalion behind the German line. Steve...Captain Rogers, he fought his way through a HYDRA blockade that had pinned our allies down for months. He saved over a thousand men, including the man who would...who would become my husband as it turned out" Peggy's voice said as he took his old compass out of his pocket and opened it looking at her photo, "Even after he died, Steve was still changing my life" Peggy said on the video.
Steve put his head in his hands and sighed as he shut the locket, making the decision that he had put off for way too long.
*~*~* October 11th, 2013- Washington D.C Nursing Home. *~*~*
After making the phone call, that he had been putting off, he found out that Peggy had came back home. She was right here in Washington DC. After obtaining the address, he drove there on his motorcycle.
The lady at the front desk gave him a warm smile after he entered the building, "Here to see Peggy?"
Steve frowned.
"I've been to the Smithsonian exhibit" She informed him, "She is in the private wing. Room 16"
He was let into the wing and walked to her room. The door was open and but he still knocked.
She turned her head and looked at him, "Steve… you're late"
He had to steel himself when his eyes roamed over her and he walked over to her, "Sorry my ride… well I had big problems"
He pulled a chair over to her bed and sat down next to her bed.
She reached out for his hand, "I still can't believe it"
"It seems like a dream sometimes" Steve told her looking at their hands, "Sorry I didn't come sooner. I admit… I was scared"
She patted his hand, "I understand"
Steve looked at the pictures on her bedside table, "You should be proud of yourself, Peggy" He said gazing at the picture of Peggy, her daughter and the man he assumed was her husband.
"Mmm I have lived a life. My only regret is that you didn't get to live yours" Peggy told him.
Steve sighed and looked down.
"What is it?" Peggy asked.
"For as long as I can remember I just wanted to do what was right. I guess I'm not quite sure what that is anymore. And I thought I could throw myself back in and follow orders, serve. It's just not the same" Steve explained to her.
Peggy laughed, "You were always so dramatic. Look, you saved the world. We rather...mucked it up"
"You didn't. Knowing that you helped found SHIELD is half the reason I stay" Steve explained.
Peggy reached for his hand and pulled it onto her stomach.
"Hey. The world has changed and none of us can go back. All we can do is our best, and sometimes the best that we can do is to start over" Peggy told him.
Steve sighed, "It's just hard. There is so much change. So many questions. Peg… there is something that has been bothering me since I woke up"
"What is it?" Peggy asked.
"What happened to Ellie?" Steve asked sadly, "SHIELD records didn't have her passing but Bucky's record did then she is buried with him"
Peggy looked at him confused, "I…I don't remember. She was part of a special project of Howard's. It didn't go as planned and…I think she got sick. She wasn't the same after you and Bucky died. She gave up after the baby died too. She went dark"
Steve sighed, "Depression?"
"That and she turned spy" Peggy told him.
Steve looked at her, "Spy?"
"Dark undercover spy. For MI5. She told me she had nothing to lose so might as well lose her life and create new ones" Peggy said as she started coughing.
Steve turned and got her some water and tried to hand it to her.
"Steve?" Peggy whispered
"Yeah"
"You're alive! You…you came, you came back" Peggy cried.
"Yeah Peggy" Steve said as he felt his heart break.
"It's been so long. So long" She cried.
Steve swallowed hard, "Well, I couldn't leave my best girl. Not when she owes me a dance"
He stayed with her until she fell asleep then shut the door behind him, leaning against it as tears fell down his face. The last person on Earth, who also remembered his sister, could not remember her. She had been his last hope.
*~* October 11th, 2013- VA Hospital*~*
He was driving aimlessly; feeling lost more than ever in this time, when he drove past the VA hospital. Remembering what Sam had told him, Steve pulled off and parked his motorcycle.
Walking into the building, he asked the front desk where Sam Wilson might be and was told that he was conducting a counseling meeting that he was free to head upstairs and attend.
He walked down the hallway and heard a female voice, "The thing is I think it's getting worse. A cop pulled me over last week, he thought I was drunk. I swerved to miss a plastic bag. I thought it was an IED"
He leaned on the doorway as Sam started talking, "Some stuff you leave there, other stuff you bring back. It's our job to figure out how to carry it. Is it gonna be in a big suitcase or in a little man-purse? It's up to you"
Steve stood back listening to the rest of the meeting, and then stood back in the shadows as they convened. He watched as Sam said goodbye to each veteran then walked over to him.
"Look who it is. The running man" Sam said as he started cleaning up.
"Caught the last few minutes. It's pretty intense" Steve told him leaning against the wall next to him.
"Yeah, brother, we all got the same problems. Guilt, regret" Sam told him.
"You lose someone?" Steve asked.
"My wingman, Riley. Flying a night mission. Standard PJ rescue op, nothing we hadn't done a thousand times before, till RPG knock Riley's dumb ass out of the sky. Nothing I could do. It's like I was up there just to watch" Sam explained.
"I'm sorry"
"After that, I had really hard time finding a reason for being over there, you know?" Sam told him.
"But you're happy now, back in the world?" Steve asked.
"Hey, the number of people giving me orders is down to about zero. So, hell, yeah. You thinking about getting out?" Sam asked.
"No" Steve said immediately then shook his head, "I don't know. To be honest, I don't know what I would do with myself if I did. It's all I know"
"Ultimate fighting?" Sam suggested and made Steve laugh, "It's just a great idea off the top of my head. But seriously, you could do whatever you want to do. What makes you happy?" Sam asked.
"I don't know" Steve said honestly.
"Then you need to figure that out. What makes you happy in this year? What made you happy back then?" Sam asked.
"My family and friends but they are all gone now" Steve told him sadly.
"Not even maybe a distant relative?" Sam asked him.
Steve shook his head, "It was just me and my sister. She married my best friend and he died in the war, then she died in 1975. She never remarried or had children from what I can find out. No one really knows what happened to her because everyone we knew…"
"Is gone" Sam said.
Steve nodded.
"You know Cap; you are free to sit in on one of these sessions. It might help you" Sam told him.
Steve gave him a slight smile, "I might have to do that someday"
a/n3: We have made it to Winter Soldier! And my favorite is about to come back! Obviously from here on out it will parallel the original movies but be a little AU. Please review and tell me what you think! To answer the review:
PistolHattersButtercup: I will say that Bucky will be seen again by Steve prior to him rediscovering Ellie. What I cannot say is how much Bucky will remember. That you will have to wait and find out Thanks for reviewing!